https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 21:08:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-445306 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 16:29:06 +0000 everbee 445306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>it's been frustrating for me too. same as others, i think hardest is all the questions. i've gotten snarky a few times though. if they are around my age and asked me then i would fire back, when are you having kids/more kids/getting married/something personal? and they would be a little stunned and not wait for my answer while they tried to figure out their response. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-445226 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 15:55:12 +0000 alayaya 445226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetooth: Ugh I totally hate that too! Sometimes I wish people did know we were trying just so they would stop assuming things about us. But that would probably just make it worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-445216 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 15:48:17 +0000 AprilK 445216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been such a smart aleck about that question lately - it took us like a year to get pregnant with my son, and now that he is almost two I'm getting the "He needs a sibling, you'd better get on that!" and "He'd be such a good big brother!" comments. I bit my tongue so many times when we were TTC the first time; now I just say "We'd like another. But you know, it isn't an easy process for some people." That has shut pretty much everyone up. It doesn't mean I don't get the questions, but at least I have a reply that makes them think a bit and stfu. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-444738 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 11:48:43 +0000 sweetooth 444738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a hard time when people start out a conversation with "I don't know if you plan to have kids, but..." and then they launch into a story about their kids. I was bombarded with kids and baby stories of coworkers for the past 2 days and so I snapped last night. I finally just stopped one of them and said, "You know what, I do plan to, but it's not easy for everyone." It made things a little awkward, but at the same time it cleared the air. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-444714 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 11:36:26 +0000 chesamine 444714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: Oh man I can feel your pain. I have a cousin who is just a couple of years older than me who just announced that they are excepting their 4th child while we're still TTC. I'm super happy for them but deep inside I was sorta dying because I secretly hoped that was me making the announcement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-442310 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 21:55:48 +0000 singingbee 442310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everybody. It's so hard when people ask how we are doing with trying. My favorite is when they ask if we are still trying. I know everyone is being sensitive since we had a loss at 20 wks but stop asking and getting all up in our business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-442301 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 21:51:07 +0000 TheReelDeal 442301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto, to everything here. I almost had a breakdown in the cafeteria at work a few weeks ago because someone said, "I guess now that you're married, it's time for babies." I was pregnant and miscarried so that statement is tough on the heart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-442260 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 21:36:01 +0000 chibee 442260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i haven't been trying nearly as long as some of you here, but it is really hard when people close to me announce their pregnancy. It was hard because I wanted it so badly and also I felt like a horrible person for feeling crappy about someone else's joy. Other than that, I just don't know what to say when people ask when we're going to have babies - my go-to answer is "i already have two!" referring to my doggies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-442205 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 20:59:33 +0000 marionberry 442205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with all of you on all of those. Every time I visit my dentist he asks in front of the entire lobby of people, "so when are you going to have a baby?" totally embarassing and worse when I have to say, "not anytime soon" not out of choice but because I haven't been able to get pregnant.</p> <p>I think I also hated the "I feel like you're next" or "I wish it was you instead" comments by friends who'd gotten pregnant easily while knowing I'd been trying for awhile. I also cry when people mention how difficult it must be for me..."well yes, it really is!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-442190 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 20:49:41 +0000 Meridian 442190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ughh, I haaate the "when are you going to have a baby?!" comment in general, whether it be from family or friends. DH's family was notoriously bad about asking me this for years, and then they've eased up in the last year. I think DH told them to stop asking because it upset me and made me even MORE resistant to having kids (this was before we started TTC). </p> <p>His uncle used to always ask me, "when are you going to give his (DH's) mother a grandchild?!" None of your business!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-442016 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 19:34:25 +0000 dagret 442016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to smack people on more than one occasion when they would say, oh just relax and you'll end up pregnant! You're trying too hard! </p> <p>No, idiots, "relaxing" doesn't actually help you get pregnant, I tried everything in almost 2 years including relaxing. So shut up. </p> <p>But it was hard for me to hear (on more than one occasion) of people complaining they got knocked up accidentally. One night I was out with 3 other girls and I realized I was the only one who hadn't gotten pregnant accidentally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-442007 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 19:25:27 +0000 DigAPony 442007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I almost lost it when a friend and I were talking about how many kids we wanted to have, and I said that when I was young, I wanted like five kids! I was about to say that realistically, probably two to three, but she interrupted and said "Wow, you better get on that." I wanted to scream "No shit!" I agonize daily over not being able to try yet (we are waiting until my husband finds a new job). Obviously my friend didn't mean anything by it, but I was really upset. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-441977 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 19:03:02 +0000 mizjl 441977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PastaAndPotato: +1<br /> @Mrsbells: +1</p> <p>I definitely find it extremely rude when people as when we're having a baby, even now that I'm pregnant. We were very lucky, but for all everyone else knows, we could've been trying for years with no success. Any part of TTC is very personal and not something I easily share with anyone (fact: we told NO ONE we were ttc). I mean, does anyone actually want to know we were having unprotected sex?! Bizarre. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-441662 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:05:33 +0000 alayaya 441662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me it is probably whenever I hear another pregnancy announcement..... I know I should be happy for them but it takes almost my entire being just to keep from crying out of frustration. Not really any energy left to pretend to be happy. It hurts the worst when I know for a fact that the couple hasn't been trying very long (or at all...).</p> <p>Like everyone else it also bothers me when I'm asked when we're going to have kids. I always just say "maybe some day" which makes me feel sad... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-441410 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:08:59 +0000 Cherrybee 441410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me, it was hearing about people who had got pregnant by accident. A wife of one of DH's friends told me (after a few drinks) that she'd fallen pregnant a few months before her wedding and had terminated the pregnancy because "she had a dress to fit into". I'm sure there's a lot more to the story and it was a difficult decision to make but it's hard not to feel upset when you want something so much and it's not working out as quickly as you'd like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-441262 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 13:05:44 +0000 doxielove 441262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The most frustrating thing for me is when people ask when we are planning to have kids. We are TTC, but I don't want to share that with anyone (plus, whose business is it to begin with?). So we have to make something generic up like, "oh...eventually..." And then said people go on to tell us why we should wait to have kids "your life will be OVER and ruined and not fun anymore," or, "you're so young, enjoy your life." I don't know how to respond to those things since we're actively trying to "ruin our lives." lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-441198 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 12:43:24 +0000 spaniellove 441198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, and it hurts a lot when people who had a very easy time getting pregnant make guesses/assumptions about why other women aren't getting pregnant. Like because we just stress too much. Or we're too old. Or bad karma. Or we're "trying too hard". Or "relax and you'll get pregnant". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-441178 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 12:36:09 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 441178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hate it when people ask when we are going to have a baby. They don't know we've been trying for close to 2 years, and I know they mean well, but it is so frustrating! I just say "one day." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-441123 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 12:14:01 +0000 travelgirl1 441123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got so upset when my SIL was banging on about how easily she got pregnant so I'd better be careful! We weren't TTC but had been diagnosed with fertility problems and I was devastated. But on the flip side, when we did get preg, so many people said 'about time'. It took a lot of effort not to bite back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-441116 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 12:09:15 +0000 spaniellove 441116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It really hurt me when someone's reaction to hearing we were struggling with infertility was to tell me that other new moms we knew thought being a mom was so tough and I should feel sorry for them. I know that there is so much involved in going through pregnancy and having a baby, but people shouldn't say that to someone who is in pain because they may never have that chance and would give anything to go through that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-440848 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 10:33:23 +0000 Bao 440848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was TTC I would get really sad/upset when someone would announce their pregnancy, I know its not nice but when you want something so bad it makes it difficult. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-440847 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 10:33:03 +0000 PastaAndPotato 440847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@futuremama: omg yes, the stare-down to see if you're going to drink is the worst. and then, i feel even more awkward when i have to be like "no, really, i just don't want a beer." terrible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-440845 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 10:31:40 +0000 futuremama 440845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. It's so awkward when people ask when we'll have kids. I just say, "Eventually" and try not to cry. I realize they're just trying to chat, but they really have no idea. </p> <p>Another sensitive time is when we go out for dinner/drinks with friends. A lot of our friends know we're TTC, so I can feel them watching me when I order my drink to see if I get booze or not. I can always feel the pity when I order my beer or wine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-440844 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 10:31:19 +0000 Mrs.Someone 440844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire - Please don't take this the wrong way, but I really think trying to be positive will help you. You're young, so there is a great chance that you CAN get pregnant, you just might need a little help. Positive thinking goes a long way. Maybe look into acupuncture and herbs? I've heard of so many people who have gotten pregnant quickly after trying it.</p> <p>As for me, I agree with you all on being asked about TTC. I had a cousin tell me "We REALLY need a new baby in the family!" I chewed her out telling her she should never say that to someone because you don't know what people are going through. I'm dreading when someone asks me next post-mc. I avoided a family dinner last night just in case :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-440832 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 10:27:58 +0000 Modern Daisy 440832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my sensitive subject is that I'm going to an RE. I don't want people to know that other than our close friends so I am dreading eventually being asked if/when we ever announce a pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-440816 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 10:25:06 +0000 Mrsbells 440816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not ttc but just wanted to chime in and say I think its really rude and insensitive for people to keep asking a couple when they will be having a baby, because they never know if the couple is already trying or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-440808 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 10:23:24 +0000 PastaAndPotato 440808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>when people ask when we're going to have babies - and its awful because i know that they're just being nice, but it really gets to me, especially after we hit the one year TTC mark </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-440797 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 10:20:07 +0000 Alivoo01 440797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When people inquired when we'd start TTC. We didn't want people to know we were especially since we had a loss so it annoyed me. I was like I AM PEOPLE!!! I WANT THIS MORE THAN YOU DO GAH!!! LOL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/most-sensitive-topic-while-ttc#post-440699 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 09:39:52 +0000 anonysquire 440699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What is your most sensitive area while trying to conceive? I guess mine would be when I talk to people about babies and stuff I always say, "If I get pregnant" instead of "when I get pregnant". And then I get all sad. </p> <p>Nothing else in my trying to conceive process is a sensitive topic. I love hearing about others pregnancy and babies :) </p>