https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 01:41:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-440571 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 04:55:24 +0000 sea_bass 440571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetMamaM: Yes exactly. Its called "Midwife Lead Care" here. Meaning midwives are your primary care giver but should anything happen OBs will be involved. Its highly structured. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-440003 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 13:33:15 +0000 Sammyfab 440003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry!</p> <p>I think many people still have a huge misconception about midwives and they just don't realize how much training and expertise they have. Most of my friends and family thought that I was planning to have a home birth because I chose to go with midwifery care.</p> <p>Hang in there! She will come around...or you can just not talk to her about it anymore :). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-439996 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 13:29:01 +0000 SweetMamaM 439996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sea_bass: we're the same here in NZ, there used to be a few more general practitioners who were also obstetric trained but the majority of Lead Maternity Carers (LMCs) are now midwives. I kind of like the terminology... It makes a small difference. Just because they are your LEAD maternity carer doesn't mean that they will be your only one. Similar to the UK, if you are a high risk pregnancy or become one, that's when you come under the jurisdiction of an OB. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-439962 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 13:05:06 +0000 sea_bass 439962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hergreenapples: Wow so sorry to hear that. I am in the UK and unless you become high risk you never see an OB. The vast majority of the population go through the whole pregnancy only under the care of midwifes. </p> <p>I think its very sad that she is judging your choices. Its your child and your pregnancy. I am sorry. I know how much it sucks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-439951 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 12:36:23 +0000 MamaMoose 439951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm sure your mom's attitude just comes from her wanting the best care for you and her grandchild. But either way she should trust you to do your own research and make an educated decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-439947 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 12:27:34 +0000 heartonastring 439947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for listening and for your kind words. I am so grateful for the HB community at times like this!</p> <p>As some of you have pointed out, midwives ARE medical professionals. My mother can't seem to grasp this (her words, "Four years of education and training means very little to me.") and just has a knee-jerk reaction every time I bring it up (she's the same way any time I mention CDing). She has not read a word of the scientific literature and when I tell her about it she says, "You can get a study that proves anything you want these days." Frustrating to say the least!</p> <p>Thank you again for making me feel so much better - I really appreciate it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-439934 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 12:11:43 +0000 loveisstrange 439934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was looked after by midwives my whole pregnancy! I am so glad I was able to have that choice. A midwife is an educated medical professional, so I don't understand why she thinks it's not a valid option. In the UK, everyone is looked after by a midwife unless they are high risk and need a doctor and even then the appointments and labor and delivery are still attended by midwives. </p> <p>Stay strong. I'm sorry she's giving you a hard time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-439902 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 11:39:16 +0000 Charm54 439902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish we had midwives in our province.... you and your baby are lucky you have that option! </p> <p>Your research is sound...keep strong in your decision and once the baby is here she won't care how her grandchild came into the world! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-439898 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 11:29:09 +0000 Arden 439898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you are going through this. Don't let it get to you - you've made a good decision and she will learn to live with it. </p> <p>No matter what decisions you make in pregnancy and parenting, there will always be someone who disagrees with your decisions and criticizes them.</p> <p>Stay strong! You know what is best for you more than anyone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-439897 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 11:29:08 +0000 travelgirl1 439897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw I'm sorry she was so down on you. The most important thing is that you're happy with your care though, not your mum. It's so important to have trust in your care providers and the fact you do is great and testament that you made the right decision. Hopefully your mum will come round soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife#post-439890 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 11:10:53 +0000 heartonastring 439890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm feeling emotional and just need to vent to some ladies who will hopefully understand. </p> <p>I just got off the phone with my mother and am close to tears (thank you, hormones). I'm nearly 23 weeks and have been in midwifery care since 18 weeks. I am absolutely loving the experience so far. I feel empowered, listened to, and well cared for. I have absolutely no qualms about my decision. We plan to have a hospital birth overseen by a team of midwives.</p> <p>In my province, midwives are highly regulated primary care providers who receive a four-year degree in midwifery, including numerous clinical placements, before being able to practice. </p> <p>My mother comes from a medical background and she just raked me over the coals for my decision. She kept asking, "But when are you going to see a doctor?" "You need to be in a physician's care." "How old is your midwife? That doesn't sound old enough." Etc. Note that I am considered low-risk and everything has been totally normal so far. If anything were to change, my midwife is bound (ethically and professionally) to transfer my care to an OB.</p> <p>I finally had to stop the conversation and say, "I have made my decision. I have reviewed the research on the topic and I am confident in my choice. Please respect that." She stopped, begrudgingly, but I feel so hurt and disappointed that I can't really share information about my birth plans with my mother because of how judgmental she is being. I am incredibly grateful to have a husband, father and step-mother who are very much in favour of midwives for low-risk pregnancies, so that is great. But my mother is one of my closest friends and it really bothers me that (a) I need to defend my well-researched decision, (b) I won't be able to share my experiences with her without being judged, and (c) she seems to think that I have made this decision naively and without consideration of risks. I just feel really hurt.</p> <p>Thanks for listening, bees :) </p>