https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 17:28:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives/page/2#post-275311 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 18:48:12 +0000 dc yoga bee 275311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hell to the No. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-275151 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 16:56:56 +0000 SugarplumsMom 275151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way! I didn't even let my own Mom stay with us because she'd stress me out! It was hard enough that my in-laws wanted to visit when she was less than a week old! They didn't even stay long but having to worry about the house being presentable, sleep deprivatio and barely getting into the groove of things made for unnecessary stress, IMO. Maybe if they came over to help around the house and not just to visit I'd have been better. But regardless, it would have stressed me out anyway because I'd hated to hear any comments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-275023 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 15:25:17 +0000 birdofafeather 275023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>at this point, we don't have space for anyone to stay! so i'll always be able to get away. although, i think before the baby is born, my mom will be able to stay with me to help prepare and keep me busy for a week or so while DH is in school and not living at our house! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274922 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 14:10:45 +0000 ladyfingers 274922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kml636: She's on a fixed income, so I don't know how else this will work. I don't want to make her sleep on our couch :(</p> <p>She's sort of scared of traveling and DH's work schedule doesn't allow us to go up north to see them very often. FIL comes down here for four months in the winter (they are divorced), and my dad lives here. It seems so unfair to just make her pay her way or else not get to see the baby for a year+. I'm really stressed out about the expense though, already. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274898 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 14:03:37 +0000 kml636 274898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: OMG, you are a saint to pay for her hotel. I won't be offering to do that, that's for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274768 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 13:24:47 +0000 calsmom 274768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish we waited until after a month to have visitors. I was an emotional mess, and having visitors made it worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274748 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 13:19:54 +0000 purrpletulips 274748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DD was born, my MIL came and stayed with us for a week when DD was about 3 weeks old. I wasn't thrilled about it because MIL and DH are just reconnecting after a 25 year separation. However, DH had been let go from his job the week before I delivered so he was there with us to help keep her out of my hair and aside from making some off hand comments about how I should be doing things based upon what she did with DH when he was born (30 years before) she pretty much stayed in the guest room the entire time because her dog, which came with her, is antisocial.</p> <p>She again wants to come stay with us for a week and DH will likely not be home this time. I have already told him that she will need to stay in a hotel because we don't have a guest room anymore and I'm not dealing with her antisocial dog, a toddler and a newborn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274571 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 11:59:04 +0000 ladyfingers 274571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have agreed to fly my MIL down from New York sometime around the baby's birth, but she won't be staying with us. DH was offended at the suggestion at first so I just told him, the baby will be up all night, and we have no guest bed. Do you really want to put her through that? I just don't want to have to worry about somebody staying with us. So we're getting her a hotel. That whole trip should be nice and expensive for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274510 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 11:10:07 +0000 pl0508 274510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: i feel the same way. i just want to focus on our little 3 person family for a while! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274491 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 11:00:54 +0000 Mrs. Blue 274491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunshineandsushi: This is how I think I will feel. </p> <p>Both parents are out of town. They are welcome to come for delivery but will stay in hotels, so i'm not stressing about having the house perfect for overnight guests while I'm trying to pop some babies out of my hoohaw! DH will take off a week or two, and I think it will be just us during that time. Then my mom will come stay for (I hope) a really long time since I know I will be overwhelmed with two babies. My MIL is awesome, and I'm planning on her staying with us, too. But she's a teacher, so she won't be able to come for more than a weekend until sometime in May. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274341 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 09:06:25 +0000 Mrsbells 274341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we didnt have anyone stay with us, it was just me and my husband. my mom wanted to stay withus and I know MIL also offered to come help. I just wanted to feel relaxed and not have to deal with any stress/ My mom came in every day for the first few weeks but atleast at night time we could just be a family and get used to our own routines. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274340 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 09:06:20 +0000 looch 274340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents came to visit when our son was 5 weeks old, I thought it was the perfect amount of spacing, in hindsight. I felt well enough to leave the house, my husband had gone back to work and we all had found our groove, more or less.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274338 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 09:02:33 +0000 kml636 274338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone for the suggestions! I definitely think I'm going to wait at least two weeks before having overnight visitors... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274327 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 08:46:20 +0000 pl0508 274327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my parents live close but my MIL lives 5 hrs away. That said, we are coming home to an empty house when we bring the baby home! If I need help I'll call my mom but my MIL will be headed home. She doesnt know any of this yet and I'm ready for my husband to tell her! </p> <p>We will invite her over a month or so after the birth to spend some time with the new baby, after we are getting into a routine. That's the lowest stress option I can figure out because she kind of drives me crazy :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274323 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 08:41:54 +0000 sunshineandsushi 274323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've already been having multiple conversations with DH and my MIL about this issue to set expectations. With twins, I know I'll want and need the help, but I also want to be able to come home just as our family at first and spend time together alone before the visitors descend. Also, I've been firm about staggering family visitors, who are all coming from out of town and will need to stay with us, so that no more than two come at a time and it's spread out so I have more help for longer, versus everyone at once. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274320 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 08:37:57 +0000 mamabolt 274320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I put our foot down and said no overnight visitors the first two weeks. He was off work that entire time and we wanted to get used to our new family on our own for a little while. MIL came during that time period just for a few hours to meet the baby. My mom came for a week and a half once DH went back to work, but I knew I wouldn't be able to have MIL there that long...she came for a long weekend after my mom left, so that DH could run interference for most of the time. I'm glad she was only there that long because she had a lot of opinions about how to care for baby and if I had to deal with that for longer or without DH I would have lost my mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274305 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 08:19:29 +0000 LuLu Mom 274305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Luckily my MIL lives within 20 minutes, so she can come spend the day with us and go home. I enjoy her company but I think having her there for an extended period of time would put added stress on me. My mom is the same way though, she has offered to stay overnight or go home (she is also only 20 minutes away) whatever I think I need. I have decided to make that decision once she is here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274273 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 07:55:33 +0000 regberadaisy 274273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ILs came to stay with us about a week after the baby was born. But it was all pre-talked about etc. My mom was there from day 1. I would say the hardest for us was probably a little bit of clashing of the two grandmothers and the language barrier did not help. My mom was trying to be helpful and my MIL was offended thinking she did not trust her with the baby. All in all just a lot of people in a very small house.</p> <p>@mediagirl: Yes! that was the biggest inconvenience. Having to go into my bedroom to nurse every single time. Made the whole pp loneliness factor worse. When it was just my mom and us I had no problems whipping out the boob. MIL, another story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274212 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 04:43:37 +0000 mediagirl 274212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would suggest, if your MIL wants to see the baby first thing, she stay at a hotel. My parents were at our house for 2 nights and I was so happy when they left. If my mil had been there, I never would have come out of my room. </p> <p>Ask yourself this: are you comfortable being topless in front of your mil? No? Don't let her stay with you. Yes? Will she cook decent meals for you? Go for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274200 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 01:55:59 +0000 Boogs 274200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love my MIL and both of our families in general, but there's no way I could have let anyone stay with me. I got annoyed enough with the daily visits. I'm the type of person that very much likes my space, though. If you're having one side of the family stay it does seem only fair to extend the same invite to the other side. Maybe you can ask her if she does want to stay and if she has a preference when? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274188 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 00:25:49 +0000 anonysquire 274188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: Lol, we must have the same mother in law! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274168 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 22:52:24 +0000 lemondrop 274168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, but I am good friends with my MIL and she kept some boundaries, so it worked out great. All I had to do was take care of the baby, she did all the cooking and cleaning. She lives across the country, so she stayed days 3-10. My parents live an hour and a half away, so they came over on the weekends for the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274160 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 22:38:48 +0000 DillonLion 274160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I'm a bit different because my MIL and I have a really close relationship and I absolutely want her there with us the first week. My mom lives nearby so she can be there during the day and go home at night. MIL lives 4 hours away. MIL also works with kids and is a nurse's aide, so I would honestly be more stressed out if for some reason she couldn't come stay with us at that point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274158 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 22:32:55 +0000 MaisyMay 274158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My in-laws live about an hour away, so they'll be invited up when we go to the hospital and can come back for visits, not stay with us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274144 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 22:06:56 +0000 Mrs. Pen 274144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It totally depends on your relationship with your MIL. Some women I know are BFFs with their MIL and just as comfortable with them as they are their own mothers.</p> <p>Personally, when MIL said she wanted to come visit- I did not want the stress of it! I told DH to make sure shes came at least 3 weeks after DS was born!! </p> <p>But I loved having my mom come, she didn't stay and wasn't here very often but when she was I loved having her here. </p> <p>If I had a MIL who I was really close with, I would have LOVED the extra help. But if it's just going to stress you out - then make it a few weeks later, til you have the hang of things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274116 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 21:15:26 +0000 chrispygal 274116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have two MIL's and I would never, ever want one of them to stay with me. She is way too anxious and seriously talks non-stop. My other MIL is wonderful, and she did come visit a few weeks after LO was born. I was very relaxed and comfortable by then, and my MIL and FIL are very laid back, so it was a great visit. </p> <p>If I were you, I would not commit either way until you see how you feel post-baby. You may welcome the visit or you may not. It is ok, whichever way you choose. Your MIL will understand if you tell her you are overwhelmed and not ready for house guests. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274112 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 21:07:39 +0000 LouLouBelle 274112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>absolutely not!!! you don't know what you'll be feeling like or what type of baby you'll have...i think it is best to adjust to life with a new baby first. especially if she is manic/worrying/etc. You just don't need to deal with that while trying ot adjust to being a parent. Say no!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274100 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 20:55:28 +0000 PrincessBaby 274100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: This is my fear! My MIL is super wonderful and I love her, but the pressure of having her stay in my house always gets to me. I can't even imagine when I have a baby for the first time in my life too! MIL and FIL stay with us once or twice a year (they live in NY, we live in FL) and without a baby, they still exhaust me just BEING here. I cannot imagine when Harper is born! And having to explain everything I do scares me too. Like already she's emailing me "You'll need a bassinet to put the baby in for the first few weeks," and I'm all "No, we're going straight to the crib..." Simple things like that, but just having to deal with it or vocalize/explain myself to her/anyone just exhausts me to think about it! You situation is exactly what I imagine will happen to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274098 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 20:53:48 +0000 Weagle 274098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's ALWAYS stressful when my ILs are visiting, but they came when LO was almost 2 weeks old and stayed with us. It was super stressful - so much so that they left after only 3 days and we certainly didn't try to stop them (it was a 12hr+ drive for them). I had to have a blood transfusion after delivery and was still having a hard time getting my iron levels up on top of regular postpartum/life change stuff. They would have been extremely offended if we asked them to stay at a hotel. I really wish we had told them to come a week later. Life would have been much easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-in-law-staying-with-you-after-baby-arrives#post-274092 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 20:49:33 +0000 mrstilly 274092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could barely handle the visits from my MIL that lasted an hour or two much less have her stay with us. She is high strung and makes passive comments. We already stay with them most weekends, and staying home for the weeks after DS was born was much needed for my sanity. </p>