https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 23:32:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086263 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 09:13:15 +0000 LuLu Mom 2086263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: :( I'm so sorry! You have to remember your hormones are going crazy right now (I've been an emotional crazy person this last week as well!) If it were me (and I understand you might not have the same relationship with your mom I do mine) but I would be like "here's my list of stuff I want done before the baby, if you would like to help!" and as for dinner before going down for nap I would say "hey would you mind browning the hamburger/throwing in the xyz into the oven at around 6:00? Please wake me up at 6:30 and I can help finish up" Just little subtle hints of what would be helpful. It sounds like she WANTS to be but doesn't know how or what to do? </p> <p>As for the hearing aids can you be like "mom can you put them in, it's easier to communicate that way." AND I would say "sorry no house guests before/after baby, we want that time to focus on us." And lay down the law, if they can't afford a hotel shack them up with other family close or friends who might be willing to house them. I would NOT be okay with a house full of people postpartum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086254 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 09:08:50 +0000 Banana330 2086254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: How do your parents get along with your inlaws? Could they stay with them for part of the time? I think it's fair for them to stay with the inlaws and come for day visits for the week after birth. I think clear expectations on how long, when, calling first etc post birth for both sides of the family will help all of you. </p> <p>Honestly your mom sounds a bit like my inlaws, who are lovely but not very proactive and quite happy to sit around all day. They fear overstepping, so they never take initiative to make dinner or anything. That's partly why I said it would be better if they come visit 2 months postpartum (the other is they are travelling halfway around the world so they are coming for over a month!). </p> <p>If your dad can handle your mom and understands how you're feeling it might be best to get him to talk to her about the next trip and expectations. </p> <p>In the meantime, just say it would be really great if you have time today to do x y z (in a note if it's easier). And explain you're getting really tired and it would be a big help if she could cook dinner for 6:30/clean up etc. Maybe take her out to dinner after a few days of it as a thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086242 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 09:03:29 +0000 Alivoo01 2086242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG!! We must share the same pool of mommies because that's how my mom was! She lived with us for two months, and aside from washing the dishes and folding my laundry, she just hung around the house playing with her ipad or sleeping. She took more naps than my newborn son did!! I appreciated her help with the dishes and folding my laundry, but honestly, I would have done that myself when the baby was asleep. It didn't help she and I never really got along. </p> <p>My mom doesn't cook so not only was I trying to learn to care for a newborn on my own (DH owns his own business so wasn't home from 2am till 2pm), I had to make sure my mom was fed. Meaning I had to cook a decent meal for her. I enjoy cooking, but the first few weeks, I would have totally been okay eating ramen or other simple meals, but that's not sufficient for my mom. So I feel ya - 100%.</p> <p>I think another part of it is, that we live away from the folks for such a long time that re-learning to live under the same roof again is hard. We live 3 hours away in a different state for over 7 years and counting. You've established your own rules and ways/habits, and they have their's. So it's inevitable that personalities crash after being apart so long and the stay is extended!</p> <p>Like others have suggested, I'd totally leverage your dad in persuading your mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086239 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 09:01:38 +0000 LaughLines 2086239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't think your expectations are too high or that you're asking too much. It seems to me you just would like some help with a few things (like cleaning the litter box that you're really not supposed to be doing). If she weren't there, you'd be doing those things yourself (like cooking dinner) and you could do it in your own time so that you don't wake up thinking it will be done and end up really hungry - but since she IS there and SAID HERSELF she would do dinners, you're getting frustrated that it's ending up as MORE work that just doing it yourself and being alone. </p> <p>As someone with a very difficult mother myself, i completely understand. If she's there and not helping it's WORSE than her not being there at all, because you have to take care of yourself and her and tip toe around your own house. What you're saying is that if she's going to be there she may as well help (like she said she would in coming in the first place) which I agree with. </p> <p>That said, you're not going to change her. She is who she is. I'd say you need to suck it up for this visit (since she probably already has her flight booked) but while she's there you NEED to set ground rules for when they (and your inlaws) come after baby. </p> <p>I told my mom she couldn't spend the night at all. She was wrongly assuming i'd want her to stay with me for a MONTH after baby came. No. way. I explained that my DH and I wanted bonding/family time the 3 of us and that i wanted privacy to be able to get used to breastfeeding without others there at all hours. She didn't like it but she agreed. She's been a bit of a brat about it a couple times since then (like "rubbing it in" at my shower in front of lots of family that I "don't want her help" and trying to guilt trip me) but i'm holding firm. No overnight guests, no excuses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086219 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 08:51:26 +0000 Anagram 2086219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: It seems like you have existing communication issues with your mom, that's making your current situation more frustrating.</p> <p>My mom and my in-laws came and helped quite a bit after my LO was born (and their stays overlapped by 4 days so we had 5 adults and a baby staying all together in a 2 bedroom condo). </p> <p>But, I would never ever ever in a million years leave a list of chores I wanted done for either my mom or my MIL. If I was my own mom, I would just ask her nicely to do the cat litter box (hey mom, I hate to ask you....but I'm not supposed to tough cat litter while I'm pregnant and since DH is gone...do you mind doing it?) and then nicely asking again each day when it's actually time. Same with my in-laws.</p> <p>Everything else, I don't ask for and I'm just grateful if they volunteer to do anything. My MIL's forte is cooking--I don't have to ask and she will cook a lot of food. The thing is, she's going to cook her specialty foods-I have 0 say over what those foods are and when they are made. But she generally just keeps our fridge stocked with delicious curries that I can heat up for myself at any time. I'm just grateful I don't have to cook myself.</p> <p>My mom's cooking is more like......buying a rotisserie chicken and shredding it and putting it on top of a salad she bought at the corner deli---again, I'm FINE WITH IT. My husband sometimes feels hungry after my mom's cooking (she's very into healthy eating), but again, I'm just grateful to not have to do it myself.</p> <p>And both mothers have the habit of reorganizing my pantry--I could let these things annoy me, because it's not done to my specifications. But I just try to be thankful I don't have to organize it myself.</p> <p>I guess what I'm saying is...it seems like your mother is hard to communicate with, so that's making this situation hard. But I also think your expectations are kind of high. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086194 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 08:41:25 +0000 Maysprout 2086194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's good the problems are coming up now. Make sure people visiting baby understand it's not a normal guest situation and they're going to have to fend for themselves with food and cleaning up while you recover and bond with baby. There's no way I'd prevent family from visiting lo but at the same time you have to speak up for yourself, make expectations known and put limits on stay length and what you're willing to do to accommodate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086107 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 06:05:14 +0000 Weagle 2086107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to be quite honest here. You sound entitled. Yeah, you're 35 weeks pregnant, but it's not like you're an invalid. Lots of people are still doing lots of things at 35, 36, 37, etc weeks pregnant. I agree with the pp that said it sounds like she was there in case of an emergency, not to be at your beck and call. </p> <p>As for after the baby, definitely do whatever you want (I loved having my parents but dreaded my inlaws' much shorter visit). Decide and let them know now so that everyone can get used to it before dealing with the emotions of having a new grandchild. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086102 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 05:21:43 +0000 PrincessBaby 2086102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally agree with Mrs. Jacks...The more people around after baby, the more work for you. My ILs got so offended when we said they couldn't come and stay with us right after my DD1 was born. My husband was going to be away for a few weeks for work while I had a newborn, and they thought they would come and stay in our house and "help" me. But what they don't understand is that they create more work for me, even having to have simple conversations like you did with your mom about what's for dinner, etc. It's just a million little things to deal with, to entertain their presence, that you just won't have the energy or brainpower to deal with. Sometimes when our parents come to our house, and they always travel from far away and end up staying in our guest room, I feel like I have 3 toddlers instead of 1 because I have to discuss and explain everything. Everything. If I were you, I would put your foot down and set those boundaries now. Everyone will get over it eventually! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086092 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 03:17:01 +0000 lamariniere 2086092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: @Mrs. Bum: Agree 110% with everything!</p> <p>I echo others in saying that now (before you give birth) is the time to put your foot down. Set the ground rules of what you need and expect and hold fast both for the visit now and for after your baby is born. Honestly, I wouldn't feel bad about hurting people's feelings. This is your family, your new baby, and your special time that you will never ever get back. In my own experience, having ILs (or parents) stay with you when you have just given birth is AWFUL. I was so MISERABLE when my ILs arrived 10 days after my first LO was born. When pregnant with LO2, I seriously started getting stressed around 5 months pregnant when MIL was already offering to come help. I ended up having DH tell her they couldn't come until the baby was at least a month old and it was a much better experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086091 Thu, 26 Feb 2015 03:11:52 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2086091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: You're a saint! I would seriously expect my mom to cook for me when I was 35 weeks pregnant! :grin: But my mom would also stress me out, because although she's good at other things, she isn't a very good homemaker. </p> <p>My advice to you is to set boundaries now. If you're the type that likes peace and quiet, with a new baby in tow, all those people staying at your place will just add to the stress. Maybe you can request some time alone with the baby - an initial family bonding time, before they come and visit. That way you don't have to say they stress you out or anything that could trigger negative sentiments. You're new parents, you're entitled to family bounding time with your newborn. It's harder to be mad at that request :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086039 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 23:30:38 +0000 Astro Bee 2086039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: My expectations for the visit weren't actually that my mom would spend her time cooking and cleaning. I've actually spent a huge amount of time bringing her around shopping all weekend and yesterday evening, and even took her to get her hair done on Saturday. She'd mentioned before even coming up that she would be cooking and cleaning for me. All I asked her to do we're those things I didn't feel able to do, like the litter, my huge jacuzzi tub (because of potential slipping), and my standup shower (because of the chemicals in an enclosed space). Everything else, I can manage on my own, including vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, and regular kitchen and bathroom stuff. I'm a big believer in that if you say you are going to do stuff, you do it. </p> <p>Regarding supper, she had said that she would cook supper (although I hadn't explicitly asked) and we decided what veggies went best with the meal, and then I went up to lie down, expecting that it would be done without my saying that it had go on at a specific time (my mistake). She mentioned later that she wasn't sure how I wanted the veggies or meat done, so she waited for me to get up and tell her. Hence, part of my frustration. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086037 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 23:28:31 +0000 mrbee 2086037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everyone above. It sounds like your dad is the mom whisperer, so I'd ask him to suggest to her that she just come home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086027 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 23:12:15 +0000 HLK208 2086027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable expecting my parents to cook or clean for me. If they came to my home, while DH was gone, I'd think it's just to be there because I'm super pregnant - in case of an emergency. That's helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2086017 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 22:55:32 +0000 brownie 2086017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also put our foot down and said no visitors for the first four weeks. It was fantastic. This time around I have people lined up from beginning to end. But only people that I know can help (and my sister who is here for 1 week at 7 weeks old without her kids). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085996 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 22:32:38 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2085996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: trust me when I say it will come to a head post partum. Better to have her a little upset with you now than a huge dust up when you have a new human to care for. </p> <p>As a parent it will be important to set all kinds of new boundaries that you are not used to.</p> <p>My philosophy is that any time you have extra people around it means work for you.</p> <p>We said no visitors for the first month with our first child and while that may seem excessive, it saved me from a lot of extra work when I didn't need any more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085980 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 22:12:31 +0000 Astro Bee 2085980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Youboots: Your statement sounds so reasonable; unfortunately, my mom is not. I'll have to have a talk with my dad. He has a way of subtly getting things across, whereas she gets her back up if someone else says it. That's from 40+ yrs of experience!</p> <p>So, she just came downstairs to clean the kitty litter. I told her that I'd already done it. She got mad at me (even though I used gloves), and asked why I did it. I replied that she'd already gone up to bed when the cat meowed that it wasn't done (we have very prissy cats!), so I went and cleaned it. She said, "well, I wasn't actually in bed asleep yet." Yet I haven't seen her for 1 1/2 hrs. Grrr! </p> <p>Youboots, if I had my time back, I would have pushed back on this visit so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085961 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 22:00:05 +0000 Astro Bee 2085961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bum: My parents live a 5 hr plane ride away. If they lived as close as my inlaws, I would definitely be doing that. It's the first grandchild on both sides of the family, and they all feel the need to "be there" for the birth and see their little grandson. Oh yeah, and to "help." I've already lied and said that the hospital limits the number of people during delivery to just one (DH), because my mom was talking about holding my hand through it all. Nu-ugh! Like I've been saying, she is not a calming influence. </p> <p>I really expect to feel all of those things you are saying, but I feel trapped by my mom's, as well as MIL's, expectations. I also really feel the need to talk to my MIL about her smoking, and am worried about how to do that, but I think that's best left to another post. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085944 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 21:53:30 +0000 youboots 2085944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree about people staying in hotel. That means you have to have a fridge stocked for 4 extra adults, you should NOT pay for their hotel stay. "We are so excited about your enthusiasm about welcoming our child. We will gladly take overnight house guests after 3 weeks, but if you want to visit overnight earlier we kindly ask you stay in a hotel so we can become accustomed to our new routine as a family of 3."</p> <p>M travels a lot, and he was gone for a week at 35ish weeks and I would have dreaded someone keeping an eye on me. Just no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085941 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 21:49:14 +0000 Mrs. Bum 2085941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe it's because I'm a major introvert or maybe because I'm on number two possibly planning lo #3....I'm going have to say NOOOOOoooooOooooooo....Don't. Do. It.<br /> You already seem so uncomfortable with your mom there and I'm here to tell you that after childbirth you are not going to want people in the privacy of your home. You are going to be sore. You are going to be stressed. You are going to be hormonal like you've never experienced and above all you and your husband will want that time all to your very selves. All the family should really plan to stay with you guys after you get comfortable and know what your doing because a phone call is just as helpful as a visit. You will be excited and terrified all at once and having your husband kindly tell everyone to give you space might be a good idea. Tell mom that you know she's trying to help but that you need your space and will call her asap if you need her. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085932 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 21:45:14 +0000 Astro Bee 2085932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Youboots: Yeah, I hear you. If I wasn't so exhausted I'd come up with a list right now. She doesn't drive, so would have to take the bus to get groceries. Like so many things, it's just easier if I do it. I really don't know what she did all day today. I asked when I got home and she said cleaning, but aside from the already clean floors, I think she only wiped down the counter and did the microwave. On Monday, I did ask her to clean my bathtub and standup shower, but she didn't get around to doing the shower. And still hasn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085921 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 21:36:39 +0000 Astro Bee 2085921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Blackbird: @Avivoca: I will definitely be outright asking her to cook tomorrow night. It's just so annoying because she keeps coming back to me asking me, is this okay, is that, how should I...? Easier to do things myself if I'm not too tired. </p> <p>@LoveIsStrange: @MamaBehr: Great advice. One of my male co-workers recommended today that we request both sets of parents stay in a hotel at least for the first 4-5 days PP, and limit time at the house to a few hours here and there. He has a toddler and remembers how crazy it was. I think I'd be willing to pay for it, just to have some peace and quiet. </p> <p>@Rockies11: That's my biggest fear, that people won't get the hint to just leave us alone. I told DH that he really needs to stand up and advocate for me, and shoo people off, if necessary. I'm usually much more assertive than I am now, and I can only imagine what state I'll be in PP. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085914 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 21:34:06 +0000 youboots 2085914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Uh, I don't understand how she is helping you.</p> <p>I may be a brat, but help (to me) would mean leaving a list of things you need done daily while you are at work.</p> <p>Hey Mom I would love it if you could:<br /> Go to the grocery store (leave cash if that's how you do things)<br /> Wipe down the shelves in the fridge.<br /> Drop off donations and get receipt<br /> Please cook dinner, I'd love to eat around 6:30.</p> <p>Thanks for all your help!</p> <p>Love,<br /> Your child that you came to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085877 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 21:25:12 +0000 Astro Bee 2085877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the last half hour I've been crying and texting with my dad. He's so supportive, and knows how my mom can be. I'm not usually such a crybaby, but today was very difficult at work, which I'd told her, and it sucks having DH gone. Plus, hey, hormones!</p> <p>A little while ago, I asked her if it was hard for her to wear her hearing aids (she takes them out every chance she can get). She huffed at me, flicked her nails, and said fine, I'll wear them tomorrow evening. Then she went up to bed. </p> <p>I had to clean the litter box myself, because she forgot to, and it looked like she hadn't done it yesterday either. It's really the one thing that I asked her to do. I took out the garbage and recycling the other day, because it was so cold out and slippery, and she has poor balance. </p> <p>I told my dad that I'm sending her home if she doesn't stop stressing me out and upsetting me. And that this can't happen when she's here next month. He said he'd take care of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085872 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 21:23:45 +0000 MamaBehr 2085872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh no. You do not want visitors in your house with a new baby. no no no<br /> And, if she isn't helpful now, she won't be helpful after the baby comes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085842 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 21:03:56 +0000 blackbird 2085842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You can say no, you know....</p> <p>Ask your mom to make dinner. Doesn't sound like you can assume with her </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085785 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 20:28:00 +0000 loveisstrange 2085785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>NOPE. Hotel rooms for everyone, for sure. The first few days home are really important for trying to figure out your new normal and recover. You do not need 4 extra people sleeping there.</p> <p>Id be putting my foot down on that shit, for real. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085784 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 20:27:27 +0000 Rockies11 2085784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's so hard and annoying to have people all up in your business near the end of pregnancy, and the beginning of postpartum. We had constant visitors until LO was 8 weeks old, and even though a lot of them didn't even stay with us, they were always there and so stressful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085758 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 20:09:24 +0000 avivoca 2085758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be saying "Nope, nope, nope," and sending everyone to a hotel, especially right after the baby is born. As for dinner, amaybe you could ask your mom to fix it while you lie down tomorrow? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-visiting-but-not-actually-helping-towards-end-of-pregnancy-ltlong-rantgt#post-2085751 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 20:05:14 +0000 Astro Bee 2085751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 35 weeks along, and my husband is currently out of the country (in the UK) on a business trip. He's been gone since Friday and gets back for good when I'm 36 1/2 weeks. My mom came to stay with me while he's gone, because no one wanted me here by myself for 2 weeks. TBH, it sounded pretty good to me, but I like my quiet time. </p> <p>After getting home from work today, I told my mom that I needed to lie down for a bit as my back was hurting. We also discussed what we were going to have for supper. I wrongly assumed that that meant when the time came, she would start preparing things. Not so! I came down at 6:30 pm thinking that supper would be almost done, only to find out that she hadn't even started! We didn't sit down to eat until 7:45 and I was starving. </p> <p>Honestly, she came up to help, and aside from cleaning (my house isn't that dirty, and doesn't need the floors washed twice a day), she hasn't done much to help, only to stress me out. She also refuses to wear her hearing aids, and so I'm having to shout in my own house, and constantly repeat myself (which is stressful when I'm not pregnant), when I'm supposed to be "taking it easy." </p> <p>All in all, this visit is not shaping up how I'd like it, but my mom is super touchy and sensitive, and doesn't take criticism well. She's going back once my husband gets home, but insists on coming back (with my dad) a week before I'm due, and expects to stay for some undetermined period of time after the baby is here. My inlaws also want to be here for the birth (but only live 2 hrs away) and plan to stay for at least a few days after the birth. They are all expecting to stay at our house. </p> <p>Based on how I'm feeling right now with 5 weeks to go, I can imagine how I'll feel in the days before I'm due (x100!). And if I have to spend all my time keeping things on track with a newborn, plus all those house guests, I think I'll lose my mind! </p>