https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 18:54:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173547 Sun, 10 May 2015 17:27:32 +0000 PawPrints 2173547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nights when DH has work the next day: he does the first diaper, I do any more after that plus all feedings (we're EBF).</p> <p>Friday and Saturday nights: DH does all diapers, I do all feedings of course.</p> <p>I'm happy with it. LO is only needing 0-2 diaper changes per night at this point so it's an easy workload. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173522 Sun, 10 May 2015 16:21:29 +0000 gingerbebe 2173522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did all the MOTN wakings bc I am on leave and DH has a 150 mile commute 3-4 days a week plus a home business and night classes. But I started to lose it bc DS never slept and screamed all the time. After helping me for a few nights DH convinced/forced me to sleep train, and then it became totally bearable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173476 Sun, 10 May 2015 14:58:10 +0000 miramira 2173476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm on mat leave but we both handle MOTN stuff. The way I see it is even though I'm at home, I still have a job to do that requires me to be alert... And there's a bit more at stake if I don't get to sleep, such as the onset of depression. Nursing is down to me, of course, and that happens several times a night. DH volunteers to do any rocking-back-to-sleep, since he can fall back asleep more easily than me. DS rarely needs a nappy change at night and hasn't fully awoken in ages since we started bedsharing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173416 Sun, 10 May 2015 12:56:34 +0000 Ms.Badger 2173416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the ordinary motn wakings with diaper change and feeding but any extended wakings when I'm too tired to deal, I wake my husband up and he either gets him to sleep or hangs with him until it's time for the next feeding. This little guy's only a week old but in a few weeks when I start pumping, the first wakeup will also be handled by him, he's a night owl so he usually will still be up. Some nights this feels unfair as dh gets uninterrupted sleep and I'm up 3 or so times, but since I bf the other alternative is to pump which takes longer anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173413 Sun, 10 May 2015 12:48:15 +0000 BandDmommy 2173413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do MOTN feedings for DD and DH takes care of DS on the very rare occurrence he wakes up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173412 Sun, 10 May 2015 12:38:11 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2173412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm nursing, so I do MOTN. I do okay on broken sleep and my DH needs his sleep. There's no reason to get us both up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173290 Sun, 10 May 2015 08:21:12 +0000 SweetiePie 2173290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've definitely done the majority but we did a lot of trial and error to figure out what we both felt was fair AND made us both happy (meaning, I did think that me doing all MOTN was fair but I wasn't necessarily happy with it. Who is?!?)</p> <p>We figured out that I would do MOTN and he does the first 7am feeding. That way I could sleep until he had to start getting ready for work around 8am.<br /> Now he STTN but my husband still does that 7am. He gets him up, changes and does bottle then plays with him for about 45 mins. He loves it because he doesn't get to see him much in the evenings so it's his time alone with him. And I love it because I sleep till 7:45/8am every day :-)<br /> In the off chance something like teething wakes him up, I am in charge. So basically anything between the hours of 7pm and 6:30am is me. Anything 6:30am-8am is him.<br /> It works extremely well for us. </p> <p>I'm taking a year off from work so I currently SAH. Not sure if/how things would change when I go back to work. My husband just isn't good at MOTN. He turns on lights and talks to him. No matter how much I tell him not to! So not sure Id ever want him to take that duty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173275 Sun, 10 May 2015 07:56:35 +0000 Anagram 2173275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We divide evenly typically, but lately now that I'm pregnant again DH has been doing more. LO has been up for an hour or more each of the last two nights and he let me sleep right through that while he dealt with it, poor guy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173274 Sun, 10 May 2015 07:50:30 +0000 Rocker2014 2173274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do all the MOTN wakings and always have. It never made sense for us both to be exhausted, and I breastfeed so I was up either way. We both WOH full time, and the tradeoff is DH does everything else around the house (cooking/cleaning/etc) so I can devote all my free time to resting / sleeping. It works really well for us, since DH is miserable without sleep and is great at completing tasks, while I can handle the sleep deprivation but messes make me crazy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173217 Sun, 10 May 2015 01:27:22 +0000 Kimberlybee 2173217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I became a SAHM after DD so I did all MOTN feelings M-Thurs and Fri &amp; Sat he would do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173193 Sat, 09 May 2015 23:13:48 +0000 Grace 2173193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was on mat leave for the first year, so I did it all. I could nap and that way I didn't have to listen to any "I'm tired" nonsense. When I went back to work, I still did it because I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat while he'll be awake for hours. But in the last couple of weeks, I've lost my touch and am not able to get her to go back to sleep, while he can. So he's doing wakeups. Luckily, it's only 1-2 x a week at this age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173176 Sat, 09 May 2015 22:39:20 +0000 Anya 2173176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do all MOTNs. Weekday, weekend, doesn't matter. I'm happy with it. We never discussed it beforehand, it just fell into place with me breastfeeding. I may feel differently once I have to go back to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173175 Sat, 09 May 2015 22:38:01 +0000 lawbee11 2173175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we were still changing her diaper overnight he'd change her then hand her off to me and I'd nurse. Once we stopped changing her diaper overnight I handled them all (unless there were a lot and she wasn't just waking to eat...then we'd take turns). She doesn't really wake anymore since we night-weaned her. If she does we take turns. I'm happy with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173158 Sat, 09 May 2015 21:57:16 +0000 cmomma17 2173158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do it all and I'm happy with that. We each have things we are good at and I handle nighttime wake ups better and have more patience. Plus I'm nursing. DH lets me sleep in every chance I get (he gets up with our toddler and starts breakfast).<br /> ETA our arrangement works for us partly because I know how to ask for help if I need a break and DH gladly obliges. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173157 Sat, 09 May 2015 21:56:16 +0000 Mamasig 2173157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually do them all. DH works a shift schedule so there are really only a handful of nights he is home all night. Plus, he needs to be alert on his job for safety reasons. It's always a big concern of mine. With my 1st, I resented it sometimes. But when we had our second, I didn't. I think mamas often have to do more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173108 Sat, 09 May 2015 20:30:57 +0000 NovBaby1112 2173108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the beginning he would change diapers and I would nurse, but then I just started doing all MOTN wakings because it was a quick nurse and then she'd be back to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173101 Sat, 09 May 2015 20:25:48 +0000 kjpugs 2173101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do all. My husband doesn't get home from work til after midnight. He sacrifices by getting up early to watch her when I go to work. I didn't vote happy or not happy. While I feel it is fair, I certainly would love to not feel like the weight of all sleep/nighttime stuff is on me. It's just the most fair but I am not entirely happy (or unhappy, for that matter!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173097 Sat, 09 May 2015 20:23:08 +0000 Mae 2173097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always done all overnights. At first it just made sense, I was breastfeeding and she needed me but not him, so why make him get up. Then she stopped eating overnight but around the same time she started refusing to sleep for anyone but me. This also coincided with the 4 mo sleep regression and she was up alllll the time and I was so tired and my husband legit tried... but she would just scream and scream. And we room shared so I was awake anyways. So I just felt like it was dumb, he should just sleep and I'd get up with her. She actually will let him rock here to sleep now, finally, at almost a year-- but we are both really happy with the arrangement. I handle all overnight stuff (which is not much usually anymore) and he gets up with her in the morning so I get to sleep in an extra hour and he does all the morning crap like give her her medicine and deal with the animals. It works out best for both of us because I do better on interrupted sleep but really hate waking early. He likes sleeping a solid chunk of time and is generally up at 6 anyways so he doesn't mind handling morning duty.</p> <p>ETA: since we moved her to her room there has been a few times where she has had a long string of bad nights an then he'll offer to take a night or two to let me catch up. So I guess I haven't actually handled ALL overnights. Just the vast majority. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173093 Sat, 09 May 2015 20:21:36 +0000 Torchwood 2173093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not there yet, but the plan is for me to handle most of it since I don't work and he does. He'll do more on weekends so I can get some sleep. I'm a night owl, and he's a morning person, so we're expecting it will make sense for me to take more in the evenings into the night, and him to get up with her and let me sleep in the mornings. Since the plan is also to EBF and cosleep, I'm not sure how it will really work out in practice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173088 Sat, 09 May 2015 20:16:54 +0000 NavyRN2012 2173088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am nursing so I do all MOTN wakeups. I don't see a point in waking DH up so I take care of diaper changes as well. He will get our toddler if she wakes up. This will continue even after I go to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173076 Sat, 09 May 2015 19:59:28 +0000 pinkb 2173076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With DD we shared the MOTN feedings/ wakings, but it was more me since I could sleep later and nap during the day before work. Now with # 2 I do all overnight stuff with DS (unless I need a break) and DH will deal with DD if she has any issues overnight. Right now it is pretty common that DD wakes at least once every night. So it is pretty even right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173073 Sat, 09 May 2015 19:55:02 +0000 travelgirl1 2173073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we had my daughter, we were both staying home but I did all the night stuff because I didn't see the point in both of us being that knackered. DH is working now and I will do all the night stuff again because he needs to be on the ball for his job. I would like a break the odd weekend to be honest but LO always wants me when she wakes up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173071 Sat, 09 May 2015 19:54:00 +0000 Charm54 2173071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a year mat leave - I did all of the MOTN wakings that first year - Dh would help when it was a particularly bad night. Now that I'm back to work we split them evenly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173068 Sat, 09 May 2015 19:50:50 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2173068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did all feedings save for a few nights when my husband wanted to help, but we quickly realized it was just easier if I did it. Yes, it was hard-REALLY hard-but now that we don't do night feedings anymore I still do a majority of the wake-ups. My husband goes in there once in a while but it's mostly me, and that's okay. He works full time and I work only part time so I think it's fair that he has the sleep he needs for work. On weekends I make him do more :happy: . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173067 Sat, 09 May 2015 19:50:24 +0000 hilsy85 2173067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have done all MOTN wakings (I nursed and I'm a SAHM). Even after we weaned, it was always me because LO always wanted me when he was upset or sick. Can't say I'm happy about it, but it's fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173051 Sat, 09 May 2015 19:28:25 +0000 CakeLady 2173051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say I have done 85-90% of the MOTN duties for the last 11 months. If it is a particularly bad night, then DH will step in. He usually gets out of bed first in the morning to get DS (not that that is the same thing.) We are working on night weaning, once that happens, then I think DH will do more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173047 Sat, 09 May 2015 19:25:45 +0000 YouGotMe 2173047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm on mat leave and breastfeeding so I did 100% of the motn stuff until this week. We are starting to wean her off of some of her feedings so he does get up with her now to get her back to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173040 Sat, 09 May 2015 19:14:43 +0000 farawayyama 2173040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH gets her, checks her and brings her in. I nurse her, then DH puts her back down. If she's up for more than 15 mins or so, I might swap with him so he isn't stuck up for an hour + MOTN for days in a row. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173035 Sat, 09 May 2015 19:10:14 +0000 yellowbird 2173035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh does the diapers and I do the feeding. After I go back to work, he may take 1 feeding if baby is waking like a maniac, but I wouldn't want him to do more because I would worry about my supply. If baby sttn and doesn't feed, we take turns if they need soothing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/motn-duties-how-are-they-divided#post-2173013 Sat, 09 May 2015 18:42:35 +0000 Foodnerd81 2173013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When she was really little, I took almost all the night stuff since she had to nurse. It didn't make a lot of sense to us for DH to get up if I was getting up anyway, even if that meant I had to change the diaper too. We figured it made sense for one of us to be functioning close to normal. But if she was having a really bad night and it wasn't time for her to nurse, DH would go in and handle it so I could rest. </p> <p>The bigger she got (therefore needing to nurse overnight less) the more he took on, though I still took the brunt. Mostly I take the majority but when I'm losing it, he takes over. </p> <p>I sah and he works full time. </p>