https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 16:06:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family/page/2#post-1430411 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 05:00:04 +0000 Lindsay05 1430411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, hugs to you mama. You are doing amazing job! I havent reas through all the responses but I am sure 90% of the ladies can relate to how hard bfing is. On top of the struggles of bfing my first, so many other things went badly and I just couldnt imagine DH and I putting ourselves through it all again. I remember waking up every morning in tears thinking how much i didnt want to go through it all again. But by 10 months, I was so ready to have another baby. So now I am bfing #2. It seems sooo much easier this time around. I am ready to break out the formula at any time (we currently are not using any at 5 weeks). I put way too much pressure on myself the first time to EBF. I thought I would never pump or formula feed. That resulted in a very VERY unhappy mama and baby. Thats why its easier this time around because I got rifld of all of that pressure and doing whats best for us. The whole gist of my post is, try not to let this hard moment in your life determine your future. Do what is going to make you and baby happy. You have already provided your LO with so much greatness. I hope things turn around for you soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family/page/2#post-1430410 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 03:33:54 +0000 Kemma 1430410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: You did an amazing thing for your girl, hugs to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family/page/2#post-1430404 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 03:12:23 +0000 lamariniere 1430404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: totally agree. </p> <p>I had a terrible time the first three months with DS, terrible pain, supply issues, tongue tie, exhaustion, but we did it and I ended up BF until he was 13 months. While in the middle of it all, I also wondered what we would do with a second LO in the future. While pregnant with DD, I was more worried about BF than L&amp;D and it all worked out just fine. I was already resolved to switch to formula if it was going to be as challenging as with DS. Well, DD is now 11 weeks old and we have had ZERO feeding problems. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family/page/2#post-1430147 Mon, 17 Feb 2014 21:21:30 +0000 DillonLion 1430147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can relate. This is one of the main reasons i dont want more children. I dont want to even try BFing the next, but feel that is unfair, so i dont want another baby because of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family/page/2#post-1430129 Mon, 17 Feb 2014 21:13:19 +0000 heffalump 1430129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I quit bfing my first pretty early because I just couldn't handle it. I thought I'd try again with #2 with the knowledge that it probably won't work out. So far it's been a million times easier, I love bfing now. Before I used to cringe at the thought of it because I had such a bad first experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family/page/2#post-1430114 Mon, 17 Feb 2014 21:06:54 +0000 MoonMoon 1430114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom formula fed me-she said I never latched, and I wasn't interested in nursing. She did, however, manage to breastfed my younger brother. Sometimes I think she feels anxious or guilty about it, but I turned out just fine and your LO will too, no matter how she's fed. Just wanted to offer hugs and reassurances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family/page/2#post-1430109 Mon, 17 Feb 2014 21:04:59 +0000 Cchoi4 1430109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Vegmama!!! Please reconsider having a 2nd if you really want one! I can really relate to having a tough time bf-ing the first child. I remember being in tears talking to my husband about feeling so inadequate and feeling like it was my biggest failure of being a first time mom. I had supply issues and constantly painful clogged ducts. I tried so many things - pumping after every feeding session, taking herbs and tinctures, lactation cookies, drinking tons of water, waking up multiple times a night just to pump, eating oatmeal, etc etc. It was exhausting and so stressful and I, too, told myself that I would go straight to formula if my experience was anything like the first.</p> <p>BUT, the 2nd was nothing like the first. DS2 was a pro from the beginning...we've had no supply issues (knock on wood) and no clogged ducts. I don't want to jinx myself but it has been 180 degrees opposite! The only problem we have is that he loves bf-ing so much, he won't take a bottle.</p> <p>So if i can give you any hope, its that bf-ing can be sooooo incredibly different with each child and so positive even if your first time was difficult.</p> <p>much hugs! xoxo </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family/page/2#post-1430009 Mon, 17 Feb 2014 20:16:51 +0000 Vegmama 1430009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: Thank you so much for the encouragement! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family/page/2#post-1423096 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 23:38:47 +0000 googly-eyes 1423096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: I was pretty much where you are except only pumping and six weeks was when we stopped altogether. I'm glad we did. My LO is perfectly fine, smart, healthy, blahblahblah. And I don't know how I would have survived otherwise because i also had severe ppd. I know it seems like its all there is, but it's just not. I think MANY new moms go through the "never again" phase but don't let ONE relatively small aspect of parenting change your long term plans. Being a new mom is humbling. It's harder than it looks but it gets easier no matter how you end up feeding. I know with an upper lip tie you could also have a posterior tongue tie. I think my LO did. Could explain some f your other issues too? I don't know, I am certainly no expert. Anyway, we've all been there. Don't worry about baby2 now. I said never again but seventeen months later here we are at definitely again! (Though next time I will not let bf be ALL of my life if it isn't working.) Plus both of us could end up with babies with no lip/tongue ties and perfect latches. Less pain, good supply. It could happen, well just have to wait and see. Hang in there, I promise it will get easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1422838 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 22:04:04 +0000 Greentea 1422838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: feel free to vent. I had similar thoughts and feelings and those early days are difficult times! Don't worry... you might just feel differently later. I love bfing now and never thought I would. The first few months of baby are rough but everything gets better. My ped nurse tells people to "just survive the first couple months!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1422794 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 21:53:45 +0000 daniellemybelle 1422794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I so can relate, though my reaction is opposite. I keep fixating on baby #2 so I can get my VBAC &amp; try to EBF. I have to keep telling myself that it won't be a "do-over." </p> <p>Having said that, I think the same advice I try to give myself applies to you: just focus on the here &amp; now and deal with the future in the future. These days are so fleeting - I can't believe my LO is already 4 months! Hugs, lady. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1422415 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 20:42:00 +0000 MrsStormy 1422415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: Also are you working with a LC? I don't know much about EPing, but 13oz isn't enough of course, but are you sure you aren't producing enough? The pump is not as effective as baby, but they are not eating a ton at that point either... I think my DD only ate about 2 oz at a time at that age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1422401 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 20:40:19 +0000 blackbird 1422401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of the things that we worked towards that made formula feeding easier was room temp filtered water. Dump and shake :) we did it at night and it was amazingly efficient. They make these little individual shaker containers that I would pre measure out and I would put the water in the medela bottles with the cap on. So easy to take places with us.</p> <p>Hang in there, whatever you do will be fine :) once your all gets bigger, it really is easier to focus on everything besides breast milk! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1422391 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 20:39:00 +0000 MrsStormy 1422391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: I get it! I was there! It is so hard in the beginning, and honestly for me the hardest part was Bfing, and it really made me not want more kids, it effected my bonding with my daughter, it was so rough. I don't find nursing to be a super bonding. I'm glad I stuck it out, and I'm glad to continue it, for many other reasons, but that is not one of them, so don't let that effect your opinion too strongly, we bond so much more doing other things! You have to choose to do what is best for you and your family, even now, my daughter is EBF but I have made the decision to not stress about my output at work (this is a process still) and to not pump at times that would take away from me spending time with my daughter, because I am ultimately doing this for her, and in my opinion having a happy and present mom is more beneficial than breastmilk. So you sort of just have to make decisions about it continuously through your journey.</p> <p>Oh and if I have the same difficulties BFing with another child I probably wont stick it out as much, looking back I feel sad about how little time was actually spent enjoying my newborn because I was in so much pain and so stressed about breastfeeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1422051 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 19:52:06 +0000 reverie 1422051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had supply issues which ultimately did me in. I made it until 15 weeks (so 3 weeks back to work full time before I was out). I would pump for 2 hours a day and get 6 ounces and then do the overnight feeds and morning and night when my schedule allowed. Being tied to that machine and regimen was overwhelming. I beat myself up a lot and finally quit b/c the baby preferred the bottle to my near non-existent supply. It was emotionally hard (I was really attached to the idea) but pumping that much for 6 ounces wasn't worth it. It took about a week for the hormones to level out and then suddenly life was great. My fussy baby was awesome once he was fed, my life was better getting a little more sleep, and everyone was generally happier. He's 8 months now in the thick of cold and flu season and hasn't been sick yet! I think we get in our heads too much about this feeding thing. Do what you're doing and maybe your supply will increase and it will be much more seamless. Or switch to formula and see that it isn't so bad. I had similar thoughts in the beginning about not wanting to do this again b/c it was so hard, but next time I'll lean on formula more if we need it. It's also been rumored that your supply tends to be more available for subsequent kids as your body already knows what to do. I guess I'll see in a few years :) </p> <p>Good luck! Don't beat yourself up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1422048 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 19:51:49 +0000 Ginabean3 1422048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hang in there mama...you're doing a great job and being a mama to a 6 week old is like being on the edge of insanity anyways...regardless of how you are feeding them! I agree with @mae: just because you had difficulty with the first doesn't mean it will be that way for the second! I've heard about a lot of mamas who had low supply with the first and then good supply with the second! And you can still bond when FF....just holding your LO close and being there makes all the difference </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421955 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 19:36:47 +0000 hilsy85 1421955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wishing you the best, whatever decision you come to! I agree with others on not making any decisions at this point--the hormones are powerful things, let alone sleep deprivation and a challenging breastfeeding experience. I would just try to be kind to yourself now and find a path that works for you guys, whether that's continuing to supplement or moving to FF. Once you get the hang of it, you may find that it's not as difficult as it is now, when your'e in the trenches. Everything will become easier over time!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421856 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:55:44 +0000 deerylou 1421856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: Yes, we were majorly supplementing with formula, while I was still nursing.</p> <p>Since I was pumping between 1.5 and 2 ounces at a time, I would offer about 2.5 ounces of either pumped milk or formula after each nursing session. I just kind of went with the recommended amount for her age. My daughter has always been pretty clear about expressing the need for more, or a feeling of fullness, so I relied on her cues. At the time, I wasn't worried about overfeeding her, because she pretty desperately needed to bulk up.</p> <p>While I did feel a little defeated, loosening up on my pumping schedule was indeed quite liberating. It was nice to just pack up a nursing cover and some formula, and go on a family outing, without feeling the looming dread to find an electrical outlet every two hours. My kiddo didn't exhibit nipple confusion or a taste aversion, so I guess you could say she was a pretty "ideal" candidate for combo feeding. It worked until it couldn't work, any longer. Eventually, I moved past the disappointment and regret, and just gave myself permission to zero in on what really mattered - our happiness. Breastfeeding is wonderful, and important, but your soul and sanity are even more so, you know?</p> <p>I'm wishing you all positive things, mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421826 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:41:34 +0000 Kemma 1421826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of the best things I read about bf'ing is that how it looks and feels now is not how it will at a year, six months or even three months. And it's true! I really struggled with my nursing my LO and if I'm honest it really took eight weeks for it to become manageable, four months for it to become pleasant and six months for me to really love it. And I can honestly say that at sixteen months it's the favourite part of my day :-)</p> <p>And I can relate to questioning having another baby in the early days but I think I'm finally ready to seriously work on growing our family - time and reflection do make a big difference!</p> <p>Take it one feed and one day at a time. You don't need to make any decisions right now, just concentrate on your wee babe and making the decision about feeding that's going to be right for your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421803 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:30:53 +0000 MamaBehr 1421803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: For what it is worth, with my three I have had a completely different BF experience with each of mine. DD, number 1, was AMAZING at nursing (my nipples never bled!), DS, number 2, I had all sorts of issues and gave up BFing at 3 months after he was almost labeled "failure to thrive," DS#2 has a much better latch and is gaining weight better than DS#1, but I worry all the time (especially since it has been 6 days since he has pooped ahhh!). So, don't think that because you are struggling this time you will again. And I'm with you, I'm bound and determined to make it work this time! I love nursing my babies and I want a good experience with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421790 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:26:21 +0000 Vegmama 1421790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: All of those things are GREAT ideas. Thank you so much!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421786 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:24:08 +0000 Mae 1421786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having trouble with #1 does not mean you'll have trouble with #2. My mom was unable to breastfeed my older brother but had 0 issues with me and EBF me until 9 months. </p> <p>But regardless, you'll have a lifetime with any child you choose to have. Breastfeeding is such a short period of life, it would be a shame to make a lifelong decision based on a 1 year struggle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421783 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:22:57 +0000 avivoca 1421783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hang in there mama. My only advice is to find ways to make it easier on you. I have my washing routine down to ten minutes: five minutes when I get home from work to throw the bottles, nipples, and pump parts into a bowl of hot soapy water, and five minutes after she's asleep to scrub with the bottle brush and put on the drying rack. My husband preps the bottles before work, and I put my pump parts together. When I'm at work, I keep my parts in the fridge between pump sessions so I don't have to wash them. I sterilize at work with the microsteam bags since I don't have a microwave at home.</p> <p>My best friend formula fed her son, and when she was traveling, she would get her formula partitioned out in the mornings and fill with nursery water or distilled water when she needed the bottles.</p> <p>Hang in there. You're in the trenches, and before long it won't be as hard as it is right now. You are being the best mom you can be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421778 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:21:07 +0000 Vegmama 1421778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Thank you, thank you! I never wish these issues on other mamas, but it means so much to know I'm not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421776 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:20:41 +0000 Vegmama 1421776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: This made me teary ... in the best way. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. </p> <p>I like the idea of feeding her, and choosing a set # of times to pump like you did. It sounds liberating. </p> <p>Were you supplementing with formula then? If so, how did you know how much formula to give her? </p> <p>See, I'm terrible at figuring out the "how". Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421763 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:13:21 +0000 deerylou 1421763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: I can completely relate to how you're feeling, right now, and I'm so sorry you're in the trenches. My husband and I live a pretty "natural" lifestyle, and many of our dietary and parenting philosophies could be labeled, "crunchy" (whatever that means, right?). Breastfeeding was immensely important to me, and I had every intention of enjoying a long and exclusive journey, with my child.</p> <p>As fate would have it, my milk never fully came in. Our daughter experienced rapid weight loss and moderate jaundice during the first few weeks of her life and boy, did we worry. Breastfeeding was a constant battle and I was slowly drowning in guilt. Here was this beautiful, hungry baby with an eager latch, and I had mere drops to offer her. It hurt in a way many people don't understand.</p> <p>I worked diligently with my wonderful OB and a stellar lactation department, and, like you, created an air-tight nurse/supplement/pump schedule. Once my husband returned to work, I was completely lost on my own. We fumbled with the supplemental nursing system. I never got those after-meal cuddles with my daughter because I had to immediately put her down, and hook myself up to pump. It was an exciting accomplishment to get two ounces, each go. My day was spent obsessing about my miniscule supply, chugging lacation teas, and supplements, and dreading the next feed extravaganza. </p> <p>My OB finally diagnosed me with chronic low supply, and I made the decision to just wing it. I continued to nurse, giving her whatever I could, and pumped 4x a day. I wouldn't allow myself any more than that, as I knew I was teetering on the edge of sanity. I desperately wanted to enjoy life, and bond with my baby.</p> <p>I'll admit that I dealt with a considerable amount of guilt, and mourned, a bit. I remember telling my husband that I was afraid of two scenarios with subsequent children - either going through another difficult, and ultimately unsuccessful journey, OR actually being able to EBF, and feeling horribly sorry that I wasn't able to provide my firstborn with the same experience. </p> <p>It's hard to see beyond these struggles because breastfeeding is often seen as the foundation of your parenting "style". It really doesn't have to be, I assure you. Even after I dried up entirely, our bond remained, and continues to strengthen, at nearly 7 months. My daughter thrived on formula! Even now, when I feed her a bottle, we lock eyes, she grips my finger, and gazes up at me, with a grin. </p> <p>I apologize for the novel, but your struggles hit me on a personal level, and I want you to know, I really do get it. Hang in there. Whatever you decide, you're a wonderful mother to your daughter, and will be to subsequent children, should you have them. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421747 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:08:12 +0000 Boheme 1421747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Be kind to yourself, mama :heart: My little fella had lots of early BF issues - lip tie, tongue tie, reflux, reluctance to latch, etc. and i know how all consuming and emotional it can be. We are all here for you! You are doing an amazing job, and no matter what you feed baby girl, you are feeding her with love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421717 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:01:13 +0000 Vegmama 1421717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: No worries ... You asked if not being able to BF #2 would be okay, so I just wanted to explain why I think it would be hard (physically and mentally). Thinking of you!! :) I hope you get relief soon. This is hard work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421715 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:01:04 +0000 maybebaby 1421715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: I was so overwhelmed those first weeks and had mild PPD and one of the biggest issues was BFIng. At the time I told DH I could never do it (another baby) again! The thought was too much. I totally get where you're coming from. You may change your mind, you may not. But for now, don't worry about potential baby 2--just focus one baby 1 (and yourself!) as michas you can. You're doing an awesome job. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-breastfeeding-struggles-amp-the-future-of-our-family#post-1421709 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 17:58:46 +0000 jedeve 1421709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>6 weeks is the worse of the trenches. My pediatrician told me at 6 weeks we would wonder how we would ever survive, and it would get better at 8 (granted she was talking about sleep, but I found it true for most things).</p> <p>Reevaluate in two years. </p>