https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 08:43:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo/page/2#post-2836677 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 13:30:17 +0000 Grace 2836677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so sorry. My dad died April 30, but my daughter is 4. I did the same as you and told her he had gone to heaven. She’s had questions since and I tell her the truth. She has since told us that Jesus comes to daycare and takes all the kids to heaven to see Opa (my dad) for ice cream. Your LO will process it in their own way and it will be ok. Eventually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo/page/2#post-2836514 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 14:42:01 +0000 Mama Bird 2836514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very sorry for your loss. I think you're doing all the right things for your LO. Big big hugs... thinking of you. </p> <p>DH's mom died recently, so we're also trying to figure out how to help the kids cope. They're 3 and 5. It really hurts that she's always been in their lives, so they're feeling the loss just as much as we are, in their own ways. And that DD may forget her eventually, because she's so young. DH made his mom a photo book a few weeks before she died, and he's been showing it to the kids and all the visitors. I guess we'll answer their questions as they come up :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836445 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 10:10:58 +0000 psw27 2836445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you are speaking with a grief counselor. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836422 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:30:39 +0000 dc yoga bee 2836422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh I am so very sorry. Please know that you have our love and support during this time. I will be praying for your family.<br /> :heart: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836373 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:53:14 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2836373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss :heart: :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836372 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:39:34 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2836372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: at the memorial with his local friends my DH spoke and broke down because our son is going to miss out on a great grandpa. It’s hard knowing that my son’s first best friend is gone. </p> <p>@crazydoglady: yes, a photo album is in the works. More of a book with memories and photos. We don’t have a photo to accompany every memory. I scoured daycare’s parent portal and found a few gems. He visited LO there regularly and they took a few snaps too.</p> <p>@Bluebonnet: yeah, the linked article/ column advice suggests skipping over some of the book until it becomes age appropriate.</p> <p>I really appreciate all the responses and have decided to include an explanation page to answer what happened to Papi in LO’s book. I have a ton of things to do before we catch our flight this afternoon. Thanks HB for the :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836344 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 22:05:13 +0000 autumnlove 2836344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful picture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836322 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 19:55:36 +0000 lamariniere 2836322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry for your loss :heart: . I lost my mom unexpectedly 10 years ago, but it was before I had my LOs. I think you are approaching it the right way, telling your LO that Papi is in heaven. I personally am not religious, but since you are, this is the right approach. I think it’s ok to even say that grandfather has died. He won’t understand at that age, but it’s ok to say he died and you won’t see him anymore. My older LO was 3 when he started asking about death and dying. I was surprised and unprepared, but explained what I believe to be true in an honest way. My DD was right around 4 when she asked out of the blue who my mom was, so I had to explain again about death. My older LO is now 7 and I think he has a better grasp on death, but we haven’t ever lost anyone close to us, so it’s hard to say. The photo album is a great idea. </p> <p>There is a really beautiful yet sad Oliver Jeffers book called The Heart and the Bottle. Maybe that would help conceptualize loss a bit more. But it is fairly vague and doesn’t directly talk about death. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836321 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 19:52:46 +0000 LCTBQE 2836321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry about your dad :heart: :heart: :heart: it must be so hard to miss him yourself and also have to miss how great he was with your son. What a sweet picture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836318 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 19:39:35 +0000 Silva 2836318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sending you thoughts of solace and peace. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836315 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 19:33:34 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2836315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. The photo book is a great idea :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836313 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 19:27:36 +0000 autumnleaves 2836313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wrote a few journal entries about the best memories and also about her death and what I wished she could see now and I plan to do something with that for the boys to know more about her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836312 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 19:25:07 +0000 autumnleaves 2836312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: I am so sorry for your loss. That is a beautiful photo. I lost my mom recently and told the boys she died. They went to the graveside service but don’t have a concept about what happened. When we pass where she used to live my almost 4 year old will say something and I will say mommy’s mom died and is no longer there - same when we look at photos or play with toys she gave them. It is funny there are a few photos of her when she was young and they think those are photos of me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836296 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 18:45:04 +0000 jhd 2836296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So very sorry for your loss. That is a beautiful pic of your son and your dad. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836294 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 18:31:00 +0000 Canoli 2836294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m sorry that I don’t have any advice but wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836290 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 17:22:13 +0000 crazydoglady 2836290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just thought of something...what about creating a photo book for your son with pictures of grandpa? I'm sure it would be something he treasured as he got older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836286 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 16:54:51 +0000 Mrsbells 2836286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: so sorry for your loss :heart:<br /> At that age it's a hard balance between wanting them to understand the finality of it But also not pushing them to "get it" my older one has a limited understanding of death based on movies she has seen and she is 6. She has been at funerals where there is an open casket and And also been to the cemetery with us but still doesnt quite grasp it. She knows it makes people sad but that's about it. I think it will take years for your LO to truly understand it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836281 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 16:25:54 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2836281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I'm so sorry for your loss :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836245 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 13:58:54 +0000 wrkbrk 2836245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I am deeply sorry for your loss. Not the same AT ALL, but we lost our nearly 17 year old dog on Monday. I have also been wondering what to say to my 2.5 year old when he inevitably asks about her (he hasn't yet). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836241 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 13:54:25 +0000 snowjewelz 2836241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss :heart: I love that you already have plans to keep his memories alive and still keep him as a part of LO's life :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836240 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 13:54:16 +0000 MrsDynamiteGal 2836240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I am so sorry for your your loss. </p> <p>I don't have advice for this area, except maybe keep it simple for LO - grandpa is in heaven. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836238 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 13:42:19 +0000 magnolia 2836238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a beautiful picture. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836235 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 13:38:23 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2836235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: oh my I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and LO, that’s a wonderful picture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836233 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 13:34:43 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2836233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. We recently lost my grandfather when LO was 30 months. I made sure to tell her that he died, rather than using euphemisms. I was worried she'd have so many questions but like previous posters said, it was kind of out of sight, out of mind. We even lived on the same property, so although he was very old and not as active, she saw him every day. We got two books, linked below. We've read them some, but honestly I don't think she has really connected it. She still mentions him sometimes, but not nearly as much as expected. </p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Willow-Story-Children-About/dp/1591470722/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1532630040&#038;sr=8-1&#038;keywords=gentle+willow+a+story+for+children+about+dying" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Willow-Story-Children-About/dp/1591470722/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1532630040&#038;sr=8-1&#038;keywords=gentle+willow+a+story+for+children+about+dying</a></p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Lifetimes-Beautiful-Explain-Death-Children/dp/0553344021/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&#038;ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1532630060&#038;sr=1-1&#038;keywords=lifetimes+a+beautiful+way+to+explain+death+to+children" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Lifetimes-Beautiful-Explain-Death-Children/dp/0553344021/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&#038;ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1532630060&#038;sr=1-1&#038;keywords=lifetimes+a+beautiful+way+to+explain+death+to+children</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836232 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 13:27:41 +0000 looch 2836232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My heart is broken for you and your son. I am keeping you close during this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836228 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 12:56:18 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2836228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss.</p> <p>My experience is one generation different, but my grandmother passed when DS was 2 years and 1 month. I was really surprised by how much he seemed to get it, in the sweetest, simplest way. </p> <p>I simply explained that Granny had died, and we wouldn't get to see her again. But, we would always have our memories of her, and our pictures, and we could even talk to her if we wanted to tell her things, but she wouldn't be able to talk back to us. I said that we were going to have a funeral, where we could say goodbye one last time. It was an open casket and Catholic mass. (We are Jewish, so everything including the location was totally foreign to him). DS was WONDERFUL - he sat quietly, was really well-behaved, and he walked up to the casket and said "goodbye Granny, I'll miss you" without any prompting (aside from "we're here becase this is our chance to say goodbye"). </p> <p>I certainly can't promise that your DS will act the same way, but I think that kids can pick up on more than we give them credit for. My son could definitely tell that people were sad, and he acted accordingly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836224 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 12:44:14 +0000 DesertDreams88 2836224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awww, so sad for the whole family :( so sorry. :heart: no recommendations. Just the start of an ongoing conversation with LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836222 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 12:37:58 +0000 Bluebonnet 2836222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I'm so sorry for your loss.</p> <p>My FIL passed away unexpectedly when my LOs were 3 &amp; 5. I was so worried about how they would handle the news of his death and the funeral, but they both did great. We talked about how he went to heaven. They did ask if that means he is dead, so we talked about that and discussed how we'd miss him.</p> <p>I received several recommendations on books about death that were age appropriate and got so many suggestions, but after reading them, I didn't think any were appropriate. So many people recommended "When Dinosaurs Die" - but I was horrified to see that book discusses all the different ways someone could die (illness, an accident, murder, war, etc, etc.). That wouldn't sit well with my kids and would just open the door to more worrying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836221 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 12:37:13 +0000 Mrs D 2836221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, I am so so sorry for your loss.</p> <p>While we have not had any losses in our "immediate" family, my nephew has lost both his grandma and great grandma in the last year, along with his dog, so we have had lots of conversations about death with DD (4). We really like the message in Moana about the Grandma passing - its done really sweetly.</p> <p>We also found that answering DD as honestly as possible has been very good. She trusts we will tell her the truth so they are usually very brief discussions about the topic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-dad-passedadvice-for-lo#post-2836217 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 12:24:22 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2836217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone.</p> <p>@Anagram: I’m heartbroken. He was such a good soul. My dad all of a sudden got sick and we were working on a treatment plan. Losing him so quickly hit me like a ton of bricks. My first appointment with a grief counselor is tomorrow morning before LO and I fly to his burial place/ family plot. </p> <p>@snarkybiochemist: thank you for the link to the article. That book sounds perfect. </p> <p>@babypugs: @foodiebee: @sproutbee: good advice, thanks</p> <p>@mediagirl: that picture I posted is now in our foyer. I feel like an ass though it took him passing away for me to display a photo of him. </p>