https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 13:35:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915948 Wed, 27 May 2020 21:47:48 +0000 Chuckles 2915948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: So, when I asked her whether she knew if the roommate was being careful, she said she had no idea either way, meaning she had never really asked. So I do think she should have been more careful to ask, since he's not known for being responsible.<br /> @Ms.Mermaid: He was in the hospital for a couple of days before coming back to their apartment, so it sounds like he's pretty sick. But I don't know, personality-wise, if he'll learn anything from this since I don't know him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915946 Wed, 27 May 2020 21:15:30 +0000 Ms.Mermaid 2915946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Please tell me the roommate is at least suffering a lot and maybe thinks it’s not a hoax..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915784 Sat, 23 May 2020 13:40:01 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2915784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah he should have said something, but I’m a little skeptical that your friend didn’t have an idea this was the case. I’m not judging her, but it doesn’t sound like it was the world’s best kept secret. But regardless it’s great she has someone who has her back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915739 Fri, 22 May 2020 09:05:31 +0000 Chuckles 2915739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: No problem! I realized it wasn't clear in my post. And he didn't even tell her, just posted about it on FB. She only found out because he called her to say that I was accusing him of keeping things from her, and she was like, "well, are you?"<br /> I mean, she could have been mad at me for interfering even if it came directly from him. Thanks. Hopefully she and the kids will stay healthy. He's supposed to get his results back today, but he may have been tested too early. Plus now he's still living with the sick roommate, so even if he doesn't have it yet, he's getting exposed every day. It just stinks because he was at least coming over to keep the kids company while she worked, but now he can't help out at all for weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915737 Fri, 22 May 2020 08:52:20 +0000 erinbaderin 2915737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, that’s different - sorry for misunderstanding! In that case I wouldn’t be mad at you :wink: I hope your friend and the kids are ok! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915736 Fri, 22 May 2020 08:33:58 +0000 Chuckles 2915736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: You're totally right, I should have stayed out of it because he'll never learn. But, to clarify, I didn't learn about the roommate from my friend, the ex posted about it publicly on FB, including telling everyone how he was so careful and the victim of his roommate. Luckily, she wasn't upset at me for emailing him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915735 Fri, 22 May 2020 07:25:57 +0000 erinbaderin 2915735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes. This was inappropriate, and if I was your friend I’d be pretty mad at you, actually. It seems like she has enough trouble dealing with this guy and you made it worse - next time is he going to tell her the truth, knowing that you might yell at him again? Personally I’d now feel less comfortable confiding in you, worrying that something like this might happen again. There’s zero chance that he was going to see the error of his ways through a message from his ex-wife’s friend. I get why you were upset - I’d be furious too! - but next time write an email and delete it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915734 Fri, 22 May 2020 07:17:29 +0000 Chuckles 2915734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: thanks! Sort of fortunately, because he needs to live with a roommate and had so many car issues, he only sees the kids at her house or she has to drive them and drop them off if they want to go out to eat briefly. He's messed up enough that they haven't had to argue about custody or visitation. She trusts him to be alone with them briefly but not for an extended time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915733 Fri, 22 May 2020 07:09:00 +0000 Anagram 2915733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: I’m sorry about your friends jerk ex husband. He doesn’t sound stable—is he mentally okay to be watching the kids? It sounds like she should be asking for supervised visitation only. </p> <p>And the roommate...well, at least there’s some cosmic justice, but it’s sad it’s affecting your friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915732 Fri, 22 May 2020 05:59:41 +0000 Chuckles 2915732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With the benefit of some time and sleep, I was trying to figure out why I'm so upset about this. I think it's because this is just the last thing in a long line of irresponsible things he has done that has messed up her life (see: not paying bills, reckless driving, losing multiple jobs). Even now that they are separated, his behavior continues to affect her, and I hate that.<br /> ETA: Even worse, when I talked with her, she said that he hasn't even been especially careful when he comes over. Like, she asks him to wash his hands when he comes in and he tells her that she's overreacting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915730 Thu, 21 May 2020 23:48:15 +0000 Chuckles 2915730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: sooo.. I didn't stay out of it :) I sent him a private message just saying that I thought he should have told his ex the full story of what was happening so that she had a better understanding of the risk she was taking when he came over. That he omitted important info. He said he didn't have to justify his decision to me. Fine, so I was going to let it lie. But then he called my friend at night, waking her up, ranting about how I was hassling him and accusing him of keeping things from her. She called me wondering what was going on. Luckily she knows he's a mess and appreciated me sort of sticking up for her. I told her I was sorry and trying to keep her out of it. I don't know what I was trying to accomplish with sending him a message except that I really wanted him to know that he messed up and isn't just a victim which I realize is a little futile but oh well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915729 Thu, 21 May 2020 23:33:34 +0000 bhbee 2915729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, this sucks and I totally get your feelings. I would be livid too. But I also get the sense you know you should probably stay out of it, so at least give yourself time and space to cool down. It’s truly infuriating when people don’t take precautions that aren’t even difficult like masks and hand hygiene. Obviously that sort of work is probably risky anyway but it’s just the not even trying that is the worst. </p> <p>You’re a good friend to look out for her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-friends-ex-husband-is-a-jerk-talk-me-off-a-ledge-of-going-to-yell-at-him#post-2915727 Thu, 21 May 2020 21:38:51 +0000 Chuckles 2915727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest and closest friend (we've been friends for 35 years) was married to a guy who is a nice person and tries to be a good dad, but he's also a mess in terms of being a functional person - can't keep a job, some mental health issues (which are not his fault and don't make him a jerk), doesn't pay bills, constantly getting parking and speeding tickets, etc. Anyways, they separated probably 18 months ago and have been in the process of divorcing. </p> <p>He is living with a roommate and has still been coming over to their house multiple times a week during the pandemic to see their children and watch them while she works and picks up groceries. My friend knew his roommate was an uber driver, so she knew that he was potentially exposed when he would come over. </p> <p>HOWEVER... it turns out that this whole time the ex husband knew that his roommate is a crazy person who believes covid-19 is a hoax and doesn't ever wear a mask or wash his hands extra, even when driving for uber. And now the roommate is very sick and tested positive. And ex-husband never shared this info with my friend. I'm super livid that he didn't tell her that he was actually at very high risk for getting sick so that she could know the real risk of him coming over. He didn't lie to her, but he definitely omitted something important. I really want to send him a nasty message, but I'm trying not to. Plus, he's now posting "woe is me, I'm the victim" stuff on FB. I'm like, you live in close quarters with someone who was doing very risky stuff. Of course he got sick and you were exposed. That was your choice not to make any attempt to figure out an alternative temporary living situation. Also, we are in an area with very high rates of infection. </p> <p>Sorry this is so long. I just needed to get this off my chest to avoid giving him a piece of my mind (which I still might do). </p>