https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 03:50:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-stage-5-clinger-toddler-is-driving-me-insane#post-2893311 Fri, 02 Aug 2019 06:03:10 +0000 LadyDi 2893311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: @caitcat: Thanks, I have never been much of a baby-wearer but I just got a new carrier for the baby that I think can be adapted to a toddler. A teacher at my son's preschool suggested this also. </p> <p>@MrsSRS: These are great suggestions, thanks so much! I do follow Busy Toddler and should get back into trying some of her activities, especially the ones geared towards toddlers/babies. </p> <p>@periwinklebee: I am glad to hear that this is partially related to just being 18 months old (my older son was not like this). </p> <p>The past couple days have been a little better. DS1 went to his grandparents during the day and the baby took a lot of naps in his pack n play so I got to have a decent amount of 1:1 time with DS2. I am not sure if it helps his attachment but it did help me feel better and I got to enjoy him without being annoying or frustrated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-stage-5-clinger-toddler-is-driving-me-insane#post-2893294 Thu, 01 Aug 2019 20:26:39 +0000 periwinklebee 2893294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are doing an awesome job! I think 18 months is an age where they start to gain a lot of new capabilities, but at the same time are super clingy. My 18 mo has been super clingy lately as well. I wonder whether there may be some simple things that can distract him and give you a couple minutes break from the clinginess. My son is obsessed now with dump and fill. Give him a cracker box (cracker package sealed, 😂 ) and I'll get a good three minutes of him putting the cracker package in, pulling it out, in, out... Basically anything he can dump and fill is my best bet for distracting him. I also second not worrying about screen time if it is what you need to do to survive. Having a newborn is crazy hard, having an injured older child is hard, definitely give yourself a ton of grace :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-stage-5-clinger-toddler-is-driving-me-insane#post-2893272 Thu, 01 Aug 2019 18:13:14 +0000 MrsSRS 2893272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh that's frustrating. It sounds like you have the normal 18 month attachment anxiety phase and it's being exacerbated by a newborn and maybe by your child's personality too. So hard! I suspect it will get much easier when LO gets more words. Some things to try since you asked:</p> <p>If you're going to leave the room try to stop and tell him first. "Mommy is walking to the kitchen. You may walk with me but no screaming."</p> <p>When he's whining guess what he wants and provide him words and expect him to try to speak or sign before you respond. "You want up. I hear you are sad. Say up please... ... ...no, that is a fuss. Say up please." </p> <p>If everything is setting him off maybe give him a few minutes in his crib so you can get a breather. Then if you can you reach a place in the day when you have 5 or 10 minutes and can give attention to just him it might be enough to reset the day.</p> <p>I second the back carrier idea.</p> <p>Try setting up some activities just for him. Check out BusyToddler's website or insta for ideas. Maybe with some defined invitations to play you can start getting a few minutes at a time or he's playing in engaged in the same room as you while you're doing something else.</p> <p>Let yourself embrace the binky and the paw patrol for now. 6 months from now you'll have a two-year-old and you won't have a newborn. It will be a completely different stage and it'll be so much easier to parent through some of that. You can always wean yourself off of the addiction to the binky and the screens later. Sometime you're just in survival mode and you need to do what you need to do. When I had a toddler and a newborn my toddler got fruit snacks, a pacifier, and shows multiple times a day every single day. Now we don't do any of that because we don't need any of it. The stage passed and the only consequence was a rough week or two when I was getting him away from the screens and the binky. Worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-stage-5-clinger-toddler-is-driving-me-insane#post-2892947 Wed, 31 Jul 2019 05:08:29 +0000 caitcat 2892947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was going to suggest a carrier too, if you can swing it. My younger one was (is!) very clingy and it made a big difference just to keep her close or initiate drawing her close before she got too worked up. </p> <p>I also remember 18-ish months hitting some of the worst of it. She turned two in April, and things have gotten a little easier. She's able to play more interactively and independently with my four year old, and that's helped a bunch. </p> <p>I hope your four year old gets back up to speed soon, too. It's hard to be house bound! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-stage-5-clinger-toddler-is-driving-me-insane#post-2892902 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 19:37:48 +0000 Kemma 2892902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you have a carrier that would allow you to back carry tryout toddler? Sometimes I think the best thing to do is accept the clinginess because they can often help a kid to let go (it’s like they cling even tighter because they know you’re trying to force their independence!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-stage-5-clinger-toddler-is-driving-me-insane#post-2892858 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 14:35:00 +0000 LadyDi 2892858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: Being outside definitely helps, but it is challenging with three kids. Even hanging out outside of our house can be hard. DS2 is a runner so I have to do a lot of monitoring to make sure he doesn't bolt into our street. This week is particularly hard because my four year old broke his wrist so he can't go to camp this week. It's a lot easier to get out with two of them, so while he was in camp I would take my toddler and my newborn out for a change of pace. We're kind of house bound right now, so I am trying to rotate in grandparent who are at least a nice distraction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-stage-5-clinger-toddler-is-driving-me-insane#post-2892856 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 14:24:16 +0000 DillonLion 2892856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh momma, that sounds TOUGH. Can you get out of the house for a change of scenery? Even just outside for a bit, as I'm sure getting three to a public space is hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-stage-5-clinger-toddler-is-driving-me-insane#post-2892854 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 14:17:21 +0000 LadyDi 2892854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS2 is 18 months old and is a total mama's boy. He has been pretty much since birth, but it's really ramped up over the past few months. He's wonderful when I am not around. He's giggly and playful and cheerful and is so good at entertaining himself. I see some of that when I am with him, especially if he has my undivided attention, but mostly he's just very clingy with me. If I walk out of a room or out of his sight or try to leave the house, he screams and sobs and tries to follow me. He follows me around with his arms in the air for me to pick him up, if I cave and pick him up then he clings to me like a koala and loses it if I put him down. This breaks my heart because sometimes I don't pick him up because I don't want to deal with the aftermath of when I have to put him down so I just avoid picking him up altogether. Ugh. This is complicated by the fact that I also have a newborn who I spend a LOT of time feeding and holding (although DS2's behavior was like this before he was born). He's good with his baby brother though and wants to see him and touch him (and sometimes poke him in the eye).</p> <p>It seems like once he gets upset then every little thing for the rest of the day sets him off. I am a SAHM so he spends most of his time with me and it makes me so sad that he spends most of his day crying at me and I have no idea what to do about it. He's only 18 months old, do I ignore it? Give in? Try to put him in timeout? I HAVE NO IDEA but I can't keep listening to him whine and cry all day. It makes me sad and frustrated. Right now the only things that calm him down and distract him are a binky and Paw Patrol. I have an older son who is 4, and playing with him is a good distraction too, but I can't rely on my 4 year old to handle my toddler for me. </p> <p>Today has been particularly stressful and I end up losing my patience and yelling, then I feel so sad that I yelled at a little toddler who just wants his mama to hold him. Sorry this is long and rambling, I am just at my wit's end with all of the crying. </p>