https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 15:44:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2500347 Sat, 19 Mar 2016 05:22:53 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2500347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I changed mine when DD1 was six months old. That was 2.5 years ago and I still have some things in my maiden name but I've been changing them as I go.</p> <p>My maiden name is Spanish and had a rolled R in the middle. People up here botched it all the time. My husband name is very easy to pronounce and fairly common. It's an easier name to live with if that makes sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2500345 Sat, 19 Mar 2016 04:18:31 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2500345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kept my name and I'm glad I did. DD is just learning to say her whole name and teaching her my last name is pretty fun - she picked it up right away (most people have a hard time) - just that fact brings me joy :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2500336 Sat, 19 Mar 2016 02:30:52 +0000 Ree723 2500336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't changed my name, mainly for logistical reasons with immigration, moving overseas etc, but I do plan on it eventually. I use my husband's name socially but my maiden name for all legal documents.</p> <p>I never had an issue until just after Christmas this year. My husband returned to the UK early for work and I stayed on in the US for a couple of weeks longer with our 3.5 yr old and our almost 2 yr old. I flew back with them by myself via Ireland, which is where we had to go through passport control. I handed our passports to the immigration officer, thinking nothing of it, but because I don't have the same last name as our girls, and hadn't even thought to bring their birth certificates with me, they had to scrutinise us under the child trafficking laws to make sure these really were my children. Fortunately, it ended up not being too big of an issue, but there were about ten minutes there where I thought they were going to separate us whilst I somehow figured out how to prove these were my children, and that was terrifying. They strongly advised me to either change my name or carry the girls' birth certificates with me at all times if I am travelling with them on my own! My passport expires in 2018 so I will change my name at the same time... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2500322 Sat, 19 Mar 2016 00:59:09 +0000 birdofafeather 2500322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lapin: i changed my name when we got married, but my passport was good for 3 more years post marriage. i just booked my trips under my maiden name and used my passport as identification. wasn't an issue.</p> <p>@daniellemybelle: @pastemoo: also have my maiden name on birth certificates! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2500309 Sat, 19 Mar 2016 00:24:27 +0000 gingerbebe 2500309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My SIL was raised with a mom who kept her maiden name, the dad kept his name, and SIL and her sister were raised with a hyphenated last name using both parents' names. Her folks felt it was easier to understand where their last name came from that way and there was no confusion of who the parents were. However, SIL personally felt her last name was cumbersome and didn't like it, although she faithfully respected her parents' wishes in terms of using the full last name. But she immediately took BIL's last name when she got married and loves having one last name for her whole family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2500282 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 22:22:26 +0000 pastemoo 2500282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: Interesting, on my birth cert, DH's birth cert, and our son's birth cert, the mama is only listed by maiden name and by none of her other aliases and not by her current/married name. (And this is from 3 different states.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2500203 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 20:47:09 +0000 macintosh 2500203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I changed my name legally after I got married to MyLastNane HisLastName (no hyphen). I quickly regretted it for several reasons. I wish I had just changed it completely. I typically go my HisLastName all the time. The only time I use my full name it for legal/official things and in my work email signature. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2500058 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 17:36:27 +0000 daniellemybelle 2500058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used my married name socially but didn't legally change it until I got pregnant. I wanted us to all have the same name on LO's birth certificate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2500052 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 17:24:53 +0000 FannyMae 2500052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I changed my surname when DD1 was nearly 3 - she was calling me by her surname so I felt it was time to have the same one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499765 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 13:34:14 +0000 Lapin 2499765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good to know! Thanks everyone. Maybe the documentation won't be that cumbersome. I'll keep it in mind. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499753 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 13:30:17 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 2499753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lapin: I'm in Canada too- and I kept my passport until it expired. It meant I had to book trips in my maiden name, and carry a copy of our marriage license for the first few years, but it was never an issue! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499742 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 13:27:07 +0000 WifeMama24 2499742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got my husbands last name but kept my maiden name as my middle name, I think its a good idea for the kids especially when they grow up and understand </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499717 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 13:19:46 +0000 PurplePeony 2499717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lapin: not sure how it works in Canada, but in most of the US, the mother's birth name (not married name, if she changed it) is always listed on the child's birth certificate. So nothing would change on the birth certificate if the mom later chooses to change her name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499454 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 10:55:17 +0000 Andrea 2499454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I go by my husband's last name socially. I haven't found it to be an issue to have a different last name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499356 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 10:02:40 +0000 DesertDreams88 2499356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't chang my name when I got married bc we were in the middle of a crosscountry move with lots of official documents in my maiden name. We just had LO 2 months ago and he has DH's last name, as will all other future children... it honestly just sounds better. Almost everyone in my life knows I have my maiden name, but if acquaintances mess up, its NBD. Sometimes they mess up and call DH by my maiden name, that's always funny ;) it's NBD to him as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499253 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:53:38 +0000 pastemoo 2499253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lapin: You can do it if you want, or you can go by one name socially and another professionally. The name people call you doesn't have to be your legal name. :)<br /> My mom is still Ms. Y, but she is MRS. X, and me, my siblings, and my dad have/had last name X. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499223 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:31:36 +0000 ms.line 2499223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I were you I'd just use your DH's last name socially. Most of the women I know who kept their last names after marriage started doing that when they had kids (and their LOs had their fathers' names). I didn't change my name and we hyphenated my LO's name, so we all go by the X-Y family, which I like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499217 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:30:25 +0000 Lapin 2499217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rockies11 good to know that you didn't have to change your passport! I thought airlines and customs would be picky with that, e.g. especially outside north America.</p> <p>How about the birth certificate where the parents name is listed?</p> <p>Part of my motivation is that my DL and passport names don't even match (passport has the name I go by in addition to the name on DL, but legally it's not my name) so I figure I'll change everything in one go after my legal name change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499197 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:20:06 +0000 Rockies11 2499197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lapin: I changed mine when my LO was 6 months or so. I am in Canada and kept my passport in my old name, and I bring our marriage certificate when I travel. I meant to change it, but I haven't got around to it, and it's been 3 years now, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499189 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:15:08 +0000 Ms maths 2499189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brother's wife originally kept her last name and then hyphenated after having kids. I haven't discussed it with her, so I can't comment on the logistics. </p> <p>My husband and I have different last names, and kids have his name. The only situation where anyone uses a common last name for us is when our relatives send us mail. (And I silently steam inside when they don't get my last name right :wink: but it sounds like that wouldn't be an issue for you.) Among our friends, it's very common for the parents to have different last names; and everyone gets called by their first name anyway. When we want to refer to our entire family (in email invitations, for example), we give everyone's name in the family or we say Team SEAL (using everyone's first initial.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499187 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:14:24 +0000 petitenoisette 2499187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I got married over a summer so changed it for the beginning of the year, but I still have students I'll see who call me by the old name. The last group that would have known it are seniors now and I admit I'm a little sad that I'll likely never be called that again! :crying: </p> <p>@Lapin: I have a friend that has never changed hers and had her first baby this year but they still just go by the Husband's Last name Family. Some of my friend's moms growing up I never knew they had never officially changed their last names (or went by their original names professionally) until i was an adult! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499183 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:12:01 +0000 Happygal 2499183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I considered it. I hadn't planned on keeping my last name, but that's what has happened. I thought it might get confusing to have a different last name than my daughter, or that I would feel less than a true family. Neither has proven to be true, so I'm keeping my maiden name for now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499182 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:09:33 +0000 Foodnerd81 2499182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have known people who went by their husbands name socially, especially in relation to kids, but kept their maiden name legally and professionally. It could get a little confusing for some but as long as you won't be upset when people get it wrong, meh. The only things you need to be really careful on are government ids and airline tickets. </p> <p>That said, with friends who kept their names I just ask how they like cards and such to addressed- like Christmas cards go to the smith family or the smith jones family or whatever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499176 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:05:14 +0000 Anagram 2499176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lapin: You could socially go by DHs last name. For me, the situation was even more complicated because I got married mid school year (and I'm a teacher), so I decided to finish the school year with my maiden last name so the kids didn't get all confused. But then that turned into me never changing it. ;-)</p> <p>And then we were pregnant, and DH reallllly wanted me to change it, so I finally changed it, but I've basically spent the last 2 years at work (school) answering to both last names because the kids are still confused, haha. Which made me realize that it isn't that big of a deal. I could have just kept my legal last name and the students could have kept calling my my maiden name, and at home and elsewhere, people could have just referred to us as the M--------s. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499170 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 08:00:39 +0000 Lapin 2499170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: in Canada, I'd have to get a brand new passport. DH proposed a month after I got mine renewed for 10years(!) so it's partly his fault. :p </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499168 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 07:58:18 +0000 Lapin 2499168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JenGirl: how do people address you guys or do you socially use your DH's last name? Tbh I don't care if people refer to us as my DHs last name. The legal name changes just seem to be a complete pain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499165 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 07:57:20 +0000 Anagram 2499165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I changed mine about a week before LO1 was born, for the same reasons. In retrospect, I think I could have kept my own last name, but it was important to my husband, so I caved.</p> <p>It wasn't that big of a deal--the only "big" parts were standing in line at the SS office and the DMV. Everything else was a fairly simple phone call, although I still have 1 bank account in my maiden name. Your passport is just sent out in the mail--you don't have to go back in the office. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499160 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 07:55:44 +0000 JenGirl 2499160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, we both kept our names even after having our son, but I've known other people that decided to change their name once they got pregnant. You have to fill out more paperwork, but you can totally do it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-change-to-a-mrs-after-children-not-marriage#post-2499154 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 07:53:26 +0000 Lapin 2499154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has anyone ever decided to change their last names after kids, but held off after marriage?</p> <p>I didn't change my name after I got married just over a year ago. My LO is three months now and I'm thinking it might be nice to be called the X family instead of X-Y family (it doesn't sound very good tbh), plus I thought it'd be nice to sound like one cohesive unit, especially if we're planning for another kid in the future. Now that LO has her birth cert, SSN, passport, it might be a bit of a pain too, on top of updating all of my documentation.</p> <p>DH always left it up to me, but I think he'd want me to change it if he had a choice. :)</p> <p>Anyone done something similar? </p>