https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 13:03:26 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878673 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 20:25:56 +0000 wrkbrk 2878673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AnonymousNameHelp: But Booker will always be the George Clooney character on Roseanne!!!!<br /> Just me?</p> <p>I have nothing constructive to add but I do like the name! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878578 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 08:33:53 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2878578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with whoever it was that said it sounded more trendy. I don't think this one would qualify as cultural appropriation, personally. </p> <p>That said, if you or your husband don't feel comfortable with it anyway, maybe keep looking! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878576 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 08:26:30 +0000 graceandjoy 2878576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodiebee: So true re: power of name. With my maiden (non white) last name, EVERYONE butchers it so growing up in the US I hate having to say my last name. Even now, I don't like having to say my last name b/c I feel like it instantly identifies my race to others :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878574 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 08:10:15 +0000 foodiebee 2878574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AnonymousNameHelp: Yes, I love Conscious Kid! Always makes me think about things critically. I've been wracking my brain for this documentary I watched on the importance of names (maybe someone else remembers it?). Basically it explored how white-passing vs. non-white names impact a kid's life from childhood on (resumes being overlooked because the person's name was Amad vs. John, teachers mispronouncing names in front of a classroom, etc.). It talked about the power of a name and how some POC parents embrace giving their children names that have strong ties to their roots and culture despite what (white) society might think, because it's meaningful to them and a chance to reclaim culture, but that every decision is a choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878538 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 21:26:14 +0000 lamariniere 2878538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this whole conversation is really interesting and I appreciate the thought the OP put into her naming decisions. Ultimately, I think you should name your kid what you want. Maybe you will get questions about it, and people will be curious, but they will also get over it. For the record, my first thought was also Corey Booker, now that the 2020 campaigns are gearing up. In a somewhat related analogy, our son has a name that, in the US, probably sounds more black than white, especially first and last pronounced the American way. But in my DH's country, DS's first and last are both extremely common (think John Smith), and when his name is pronounced the correct way, it sound extremely local. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878537 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 21:03:03 +0000 Calibee 2878537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you’re overthinking this—but it definitely comes from a good place! I personally like the name and it doesn’t really make me think of anyone in particular right off the bat. </p> <p>FWIW, both of my kids happen to have the same names as two prominent athletes. I occasionally get asked if my family like sports. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878506 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 16:15:38 +0000 lioneyes 2878506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love this thread! So interesting and enlightening for me to read everyones (thoughtful and respectful) opinions.</p> <p>I don't have anything to add on the naming implications, but I will say I don't automatically think "Cory Booker" when I hear the FIRST name Booker (and I live near Jersey). I have a friend who named her son Clinton in 2014 and I always thought of "Stacey and Clinton" because it was both of their first names before Bill or Hillary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878501 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 15:59:53 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2878501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I appreciate that you are overthinking the implications of name choice. I think giving a child a name is a huge responsibility and think it is important for parents think hard about that decision. I'm also a big name nerd and acknowledge that I spend way more time than the average person thinking about names.<br /> Bottom line, I think you should use the name. You have thought critically about it, it's an honor name, and you are fully aware and appreciate the history of the name.<br /> With that said, if I met you at the playground and you told me your kids' names were Hunter, Riley, and Booker. I would assume that you chose the name because it was trendy and I would wonder if you were familiar with the history of the name assuming that you weren't. But then after that I wouldn't ever think about it again. I think I would have a different reaction that if your kids names were Frederick, Maya, and Booker.<br /> I'm going to compare it just a bit to the name Cohen, but definitely not to the same extreme. It's a name that has sounds that are fresh, trendy, and modern but also has religious meaning that many non-Jewish people aren't familiar with. I'd question the decision to use that name (to myself) but then move on and assume the parents didn't know.<br /> This ended up being a novel. Sorry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878500 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 15:58:53 +0000 AnonymousNameHelp 2878500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Out of curiousity, you mentioned some things that you see that make you wonder and mentioned turbans, names, fabrics. If you don't mind sharing, what are some of the names that would make you wonder? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878493 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 15:37:56 +0000 AnonymousNameHelp 2878493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBear87: Also, just wanted to say I like Cassius--great name! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878492 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 15:37:13 +0000 AnonymousNameHelp 2878492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: I appreciate this point. Although I wonder how often people would actually ask me about it or I'd have to "defend it." I think I'd be fine saying "it was a family name with a strong civil rights connection that we liked." </p> <p>But I wonder just how often I'd actually have people ask me about it or if people would just (as you suggested make a judgment about my family based on it--and if so would it be a positive or negative judgment?) or if more people are like you and don't give a lot of thought to other people's naming choices and wouldn't give a judgment about it (or if they did, they'd just think, "oh I don't love that name" or "oh like Booker T Washington" or like "oh that sounds too close to Booger for me" or "oh that sounds trendy" or "oh that sounds old fashioned" or "oh like Corey Booker"--all of which are judgments I'm fine with).</p> <p>I guess I figure people might have opinions about my kids' names (that's fine, I like the mantra "okay for them, not for me.") as long as the opinion isn't widespread that's an inappropriate name for a white family to use b/c it's just one more example of using white privilege to take something that they shouldn't. </p> <p>Gosh, so much to think about. My husband really opened a can of worms on this one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878490 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 15:28:26 +0000 AnonymousNameHelp 2878490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I didn't even think of Booker Beam! We must have similar name preferences--I also like Shepard </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878488 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 15:27:34 +0000 AnonymousNameHelp 2878488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone, thank you so much for your responses. </p> <p>Particularly those of you who also shared that you are not-white @graceandjoy: or are african american @Mrsbells: as I'm especially interested to hear viewpoints from people who are not white like me. </p> <p>I will definitely follow your advice @MamaBear87: and talk to my in-real-life friends who are not white (particularly those who are African American). And I follow a few groups similar to consciouskid @foodiebee: so I will survey consensus there as well. Thank you for that suggestion. </p> <p>@Becky: I also would steer clear of Lolita--but I don't feel quite the same way about steering clear of a notable person's name if that person is known for positive things. But I guess some names are rarer (i.e. Lolita and Booker versus John or Mary) and so are more likely to be associated with just one person.</p> <p>I live in NYC so I also hear about Corey Booker on NPR a decent amount but somehow @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @Foodnerd81: I don’t have quite as strong as an association with him and the name Booker. Of course there is always the possibility that Corey Booker's political star rises even higher and I need to consider that possibility. I don't have a strong opinion on him right now (mostly because the democratic field is so full right now and I haven't had enough of an opportunity to really research everyone) but I would prefer not to have my child's name strongly associated with just one person who is still alive and therefore has room to still disappoint. (I'm not saying at all that I think Corey Booker would. Just that politicians have in the past. Even ones that I initially really liked--looking at you John Edwards--the difference to me being that there are a million "Johns" but not so many "Bookers" so the stakes are a bit different.) Definitely something to think about. </p> <p>@Mrsbells: I was thinking about this (the use of other culture’s turbans and textiles etc as fashion and home design etc) and about cultural appropriation in general too. </p> <p>I read an interesting article on the subject of naming online. <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/whats-in-name/201503/our-evolving-black-american-naming-traditions" rel="nofollow">https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/whats-in-name/201503/our-evolving-black-american-naming-traditions</a> This article was discussing that the trend of creating names (whether ones that are more African influenced or newly created or creatively spelled) was in part a response to wanting to create a new name with more African roots (and not a name that was bestowed upon them by slaveowners). This made me wonder if the issue of cultural appropriation would be more concerning if I was to be considering a name like some of the ones that are ethnically African inspired or sounding. What do you think?</p> <p>@psw27: @LAZB: I appreciate your encouragement--and genuinely do like the name largely in part of the positive association with a civil rights hero (we named our daughter in part for a women's rights hero)--I like the idea of giving our kids strong role models through their names of how I want them to live their lives. </p> <p>And to the point that hesitation means that it isn't the right name, I am not sure that I agree with @annem1990: @merriment: @foodiebee: my husband might agree with you all on that though, so it's certainly a valid point. I think though I don't know that I feel hesitation about the name (I LOVE the name) but that my husband does. I tend to agree with @raspberries: that I'm white, and therefore the beneficiary of all sorts of white privilege, and that I probably don't check my privilege a thousand times when I should and I need to be open to receiving feedback and learning so that I can be a better person. So I think my hesitation comes from there—well really two places—1) my husband’s hesitancy over the name and 2) that I want to make sure that I’m not sweeping over an issue that I shouldn’t because of my own inherent whiteness and hence blindness to an issue.<br /> All that said, I still am in love with the name Booker. </p> <p>Thanks everyone for your input (and feel free to please please keep it coming). We're obviously not decided, my game plan right now is to continue to both survey people (particularly POC) who I know in order to ask them their opinions (not so much their opinion on whether they like/dislike the name, but their opinion on whether they are offended by the name being used by a white family, and whether they see it as cultural appropriation) and also keep up my campaign of convincing my husband or else come up with a name that we both love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878473 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 14:33:07 +0000 Mrsbells 2878473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AnonymousNameHelp: I think you will get mixed responses on this. I am african american and sometimes do wonder about certain cultural things being used as trends such as turbans, names and even fabrics. At the same time I have seen things/names/decor from other cultures and loved and used it. My kids have bible names and I have an israeli friend who feels that its so odd that so many people pick bible names and think of them as christian names when they are essentially hebrew names and we arent hebrew. But we have our reasons and are happy with our names.<br /> I think you have to be comfortable with your choice and then not listen to opposition to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878467 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 14:15:27 +0000 raspberries 2878467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you're overthinking it - I think you're checking your own privilege, which is never a bad thing to do. That being said, I do think you should go ahead and use the name. It has a family tie, you admire a famous figure with that name, and it's your favorite name for a boy. And while I think that NPR article is interested, we don't really apply 1920s naming standards to anything else these days (names like Brooke, Aubrey, and Courtney would still be strictly for males, right?) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878463 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 13:47:39 +0000 graceandjoy 2878463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally don't see any issue with it (I am not white), esp you have an actual family connection too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878458 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 13:34:19 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2878458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first thought is Cory Booker at this point followed by Booker T Washington and I have to say Green Onions is one of my favorite jazz instrumentals, so thanks @nwm: for putting a band name to the song. Although if I thought long about the name those associations would come to mind I wouldn’t give it too much of a second thought if a white child was named Booker. No more of a second thought as Celine Dion’s kid named Nelson (after the most famous Nelson Mandela) or the many, many white Miles (jazz cultural icon is Miles Davis). To me Booker sounds on trend with the old school, hipster class names.</p> <p>The fact someone in your white family tree was named Booker speaks volumes that this name is not singularly black. I will note that many black people have “white” names because during slavery the captured Africans were renamed by slave traders and slave owners.</p> <p>My son is August and that name is found in many cultures. People give me double takes because we are not Italian, German or Latin (Augustus comes to mind for some) etc. I remind them of the famous black playwright August Wilson. All that to say name your child what you like and has meaning to you. You are the connection to the name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878455 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 13:26:16 +0000 youboots 2878455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was a choice for us for a boy name- after Booker Beam. We ended up choosing Shepard as our boy name and all of this is moot because our final child coming this fall is a girl.</p> <p>You are overthinking it. It’s a family name. Enjoy your little boy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878453 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 13:18:48 +0000 PinkElephant 2878453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I started to respond, I somehow missed your first sentences where you mentioned that it is a family name. Whereas I was initially going to say, "I really wouldn't go there without a very solid reason besides loving how it sounds...." if you've got reasons to back up your choice, I'd say go for it - it's a genuine reason to use the name. However, as others have pointed out, you may need to be ready to defend your choice (and feel okay with people regularly asking why you chose it).</p> <p>Personally, if I heard you calling "Booker!" on the playground, I'm not even sure that my first thought would be about the historical figure - to me, it just has the sound of the whole Brayden-Cayden genre of naming...which is 100% fine, if that's your naming style (I'm admittedly not into names that, to me, sound kind of made-up). That said, I honestly don't give a lot of thought to other kids names, unless they are way, way out there and I wouldn't consider Booker to be way, way out there. It is not a name I'd hear once and then be dwelling on and overanalyzing, haha. :happy: ).</p> <p>But that said...I think you and DH are aware that some people might have opinions about this name, particularly related to cultural appropriation/racial sensitivity/however you want to frame it. Other people's opinions shouldn't take precedence when you name your kids, but.....in this case, those opinions could cause families to make judgements about your family that aren't necessarily true (regarding cultural insensitivity), so I do think you need to take into consideration how that would make you feel. I don't think I'd be comfortable with the risk....it's one thing to realize a cashier at Target (who you can avoid) feels this way, but what about someone you have to interact with regularly? A family your kids play sports with, or a neighbor, or your child's teacher? I do think you might find yourself a little more on the defensive than you need to be, but hopefully as soon as you told people "oh, yes, it's my grandfather's name, and we think Booker T Washington was a great model of xyz character trait as well", they'd back off and you'd be fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878452 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 13:09:22 +0000 MamaBear87 2878452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@merriment: I disagree. I at first worried about my choice of name but after discussing it with several people and really thinking about it I love it. Just because you hesitate and want to be sensitive doesn't mean it's "wrong" to use it</p> <p>ETA and often if you look into the history of a name it didn't necessarily start out as "belonging" to the ethnicity you think of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878449 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 12:56:51 +0000 annem1990 2878449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@merriment: Agreed. If you’re hesitating, it’s probably not the right name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878447 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 12:54:49 +0000 foodiebee 2878447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe ask The Conscious Kid: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/theconsciouskid" rel="nofollow">https://www.instagram.com/theconsciouskid</a>. They answer questions in their Instagram comments all the time. FWIW, I agree with @merriment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878434 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 12:06:41 +0000 AnonymousNameHelp 2878434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These responses are so interesting--Please keep them coming and thank you! I'm holding back on responding to anything (for now) b/c I really want to see what people say and I already left my own long novel above in the original post. (I did go google booker t. and the m.g.s--I had never heard of them!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878431 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 12:05:43 +0000 psw27 2878431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I completely agree with @lazb. I do not think it is cultural appropriation to name your child a name that "typically" given to people of another race. In fact I think it's great to use names from significant historical figures that are outside of your race. I think it honors Booker T. Washington and I think more white people should honor significant historical figures who are people of color. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878430 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 11:59:58 +0000 LAZB 2878430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally I think you are overthinking it (or your husband is). Just because you name your son something that is sometimes associated with a historically impactful black individual doesnt mean you are "taking" the name. If anything I think it's great to show you aren't "afraid" to name your son after someone you admire who is not white.<br /> I think it's great to be culturally sensitive, bit I think this is way overly sensitive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878429 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 11:47:49 +0000 merriment 2878429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if you are hesitating and asking the question, you know the answer (which is that it makes you uneasy enough that it is perhaps not the right name). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878428 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 11:43:25 +0000 nwm 2878428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>also for whatever its worth, when i hear the name i think of booker t. and the m.g.s! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878427 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 11:42:17 +0000 nwm 2878427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>if you have a great-grandfather with the name, to me that somewhat counteracts the notion that you are appropriating it, but i agree with @Becky: that people may react that way to hearing it. it is a tough call! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878423 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 11:22:43 +0000 MrsSCB 2878423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Same, but I also used to live in NJ not far from Newark when he was mayor. So that might be related to the association. But I had the same thought. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/name-help-3rd-baby-booker-raceprivilege-implications#post-2878422 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 11:19:41 +0000 MamaBear87 2878422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're naming our boy Cassius (we are white and relatively privileged) I had similar concerns as the most famous Cassius is Cassius Clay. But I have talked about the name with several of our African American friends and they have all loved it and not one has said oh you shouldn't use it and think I am being overly sensitive when I mention my concerns. </p> <p>All that to say perhaps talk to some friends of other ethnicities and see what they think? </p>