https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 19:53:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say/page/2#post-2900639 Fri, 25 Oct 2019 11:54:16 +0000 LCTBQE 2900639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: Beautiful name and congratulations on your little girl. Sounds like you are the strongest lady in Canada :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say/page/2#post-2900587 Fri, 25 Oct 2019 08:06:26 +0000 ElbieKay 2900587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: congratulations! One of my daughters is named Amelia 😍 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say/page/2#post-2900553 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 20:19:01 +0000 Autumnmama79 2900553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: definitely feeling like everything happens for a reason, it was meant to be. And I love that we’re on the cusp of a badass woman revolution. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900551 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 19:36:18 +0000 gotkimchi 2900551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I love that you got your way by having a girl. That’s justice. Raise another badass woman </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900529 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 16:07:44 +0000 Autumnmama79 2900529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyPenny: @crazydoglady: @graceandjoy: @ALV91711: @JennyLayneAZ: thank you for your congratulations and words of support :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900520 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 14:32:35 +0000 crazydoglady 2900520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I'm so sorry about the stress of home life. I hope you will do whatever you need to stay safe and emotionally healthy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900519 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 14:31:19 +0000 ALV91711 2900519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: congratulations! Enjoy the newborn snuggles. Sorry for everything you are going through. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900515 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 14:25:26 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2900515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: congratulations, her name is beautiful! Sorry about everything else going on :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900494 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 12:29:41 +0000 graceandjoy 2900494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: Congratulations and that's a beautiful name :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900493 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 12:28:58 +0000 Autumnmama79 2900493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: the baby has brought so much joy to me but the marriage/home life has been incredibly challenging. Separated but still living in the same home, a lot of conflict and sadness and fear. A physical separation would solve some things but I am fearful about losing time with 3yo and am worried about how hard he would push for equal time with the new baby - being apart from her would devastate me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900491 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 12:20:33 +0000 crazydoglady 2900491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: What a lovely name!! I hope co-parenting is going as well as possible. How are you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900490 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 12:17:44 +0000 JennyPenny 2900490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww, yay! I'm glad it turned out well for you :) And congratulations :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2900480 Thu, 24 Oct 2019 11:52:19 +0000 Autumnmama79 2900480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wanted to update. Our final compromise was for him to choose the boy name and me to choose the girl name. Well, on September 24th, I had a girl! She’s named after my grandma, Amelia 💕 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896493 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 10:46:52 +0000 Autumnmama79 2896493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: Yes, I think there are a lot of cultural issues and his mother pressures him quite a bit with regards to religion.</p> <p>@Petitduck: @MsMini: Ugh, well I definitely don't want to mess up my benefits. Another good motivation to get this settled. I want it to be done so I can go into these last couple weeks without this hanging over me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896470 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 05:17:50 +0000 MsMini 2896470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I would definitely ask about the mat leave/EI pay as I know for sure at least one person who had her parental leave benefits frozen pending proof of live birth. I don’t know the specifics of how it came about though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896469 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 03:17:02 +0000 Petitduck 2896469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: that sounds right. The midwife just mentioned to me that she had some issues with her kids because something got messed up during naming and registering after 30 days and it just sounded quite stressful. Obviously the whole situation sounds stressful for you. I hope you can come up with a solution that makes you happy. Pachama’s suggestion could be a good route. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896442 Mon, 09 Sep 2019 16:32:25 +0000 crazydoglady 2896442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I'm so sorry. I still think that this will be a joyous time and this sweet babe will be something beautiful that has come from something broken. :heart :I think having him choose the middle and last name, and you choosing the first is a great compromise. Does he really think you won't have any say at all? It sounds like maybe he is being spiteful, or is there some other cultural motivation? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896436 Mon, 09 Sep 2019 16:05:32 +0000 Autumnmama79 2896436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@poppygirl15: Yes, perhaps. The breakdown of the marriage has really left me feeling like I need to hold my ground as I feel as though I was a doormat for so long. Sad that its coming out in this iteration and causing so much additional stress. </p> <p>@crazydoglady: Thanks so much. I definitely have mixed feelings as my other births have been the most joyous, bonding time imaginable. Where as now delivering a baby into a badly broken home is devastating on a few levels. He's not totally set on one name but is set on having an ethnic first name, an ethic family second name and his ethnic family last name. I don't see myself or my heritage represented there at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896423 Mon, 09 Sep 2019 14:44:59 +0000 crazydoglady 2896423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: First of all, hugs and congratulations on your upcoming birth! Is there any way that you can compromise? Like he doesn't get his first pick and neither do you? Or you pick final say on name but he gets to plan some sort of cultural celebration? I may totally be grasping a straws here. Is he agreeable to talking about it or is he totally set on one name? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896407 Mon, 09 Sep 2019 13:35:02 +0000 poppygirl15 2896407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a crappy situation. I was wondering if you could agree on an ethnic name that would have an anglecized nickname that the baby would go by. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896381 Mon, 09 Sep 2019 10:48:39 +0000 Autumnmama79 2896381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyPenny: Thanks, mama.</p> <p>@gotkimchi: My understanding is that if you're not living together at the TIME of birth, then the mom has somewhat more rights. It was a very hard decision to stay and plan to stay for the year of mat leave. Financially it seemed like the best choice for my kids and I, however it is proving to be extremely difficult. </p> <p>@Petitduck: when I spoke to vital statistics I understood that they would like it done in 30 days. Then after 120 days they will send a letter. If you register after the 120 days there is a fee. </p> <p>@MsMini: good point about the benefits. While I think mat leave benefits would be unaffected I can see how other tax and subsidy stuff could be affected. </p> <p>@pachamama: I wonder if that may have to be the way we go... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896336 Sun, 08 Sep 2019 19:10:49 +0000 pachamama 2896336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is all so unfortunate!! I was thinking tho, I have tons of students who have either ethnic first names or they're junior, III, IV etc and many just go by their middle name. Like it was clear that they had to be named after their father but they prefer their middle name and no one questions it. Even if he was legally the ethnic name and you always introduced him as the name you want, socially that will take. If that makes sense? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896334 Sun, 08 Sep 2019 18:33:01 +0000 gotkimchi 2896334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsMini: @Petitduck: it’s all different up there! Hoping she can find a resolution </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896329 Sun, 08 Sep 2019 17:12:07 +0000 MsMini 2896329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: you *could* take a year but I’m pretty sure you would lose/delay your government benefits (Mat leave which is up up to 18 months here, your child care benefits, tax deduction, plus some insurances require proof of birth registration within a certain number of months). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896292 Sat, 07 Sep 2019 17:02:11 +0000 Petitduck 2896292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: I think we only have 30 days in a Canada. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896286 Sat, 07 Sep 2019 14:37:09 +0000 gotkimchi 2896286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: hoping this works out for you as well. When the lawyer said your rights change if living separately what if you don’t register the baby until after you move out? You have up until the first birthday to register right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896285 Sat, 07 Sep 2019 14:29:38 +0000 JennyPenny 2896285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I don’t have any advice but I hope it works out in your favor. After all the stress, you deserve a win :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896215 Fri, 06 Sep 2019 10:49:20 +0000 Autumnmama79 2896215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Mermaid: When I spoke to the vital statistics agency they said that when filling out the paperwork, both parents need to be in front of the computer, as if under oath, and both need to sign off :crying: </p> <p>@HappyBaker: Ugh, thanks. When reading that it sounds like there would be two given names but the dads choice goes first. I'm hoping thats unique to Quebec, that province does a lot of things differently from the rest of the country.</p> <p>@JJ2626: Ugh I wish I could just do it that way. </p> <p>This is taking up so much stress and brain space. I'm going to send an email tonight with one final push. My points will be that I've been carrying this baby, my blood sweat and tears and that if he wants to use his last name so bad then theres got to be some give on the first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896167 Thu, 05 Sep 2019 19:15:32 +0000 JJ2626 2896167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Mermaid: Same. In my state you could just fill it out while dad is in the bathroom and it would be done. So weird that Canada is different. Ugh I hope it works out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/naming-stalemate-what-does-the-law-say#post-2896166 Thu, 05 Sep 2019 18:58:35 +0000 HappyBaker 2896166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a crappy situation I’m sorry you are going through this! I found this but it’s for Quebec, not sure where in Canada you are! It’s #52 and basically says if you can’t agree they’ll just have two given names. <a href="http://legisquebec.gouv.qc.ca/en/ShowDoc/cs/CCQ-1991" rel="nofollow">http://legisquebec.gouv.qc.ca/en/ShowDoc/cs/CCQ-1991</a> </p>