https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 15:43:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2642324 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 08:27:47 +0000 Anagram 2642324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: yeah, she's young and stylish, so I think she might actually like Kate Spade purse. But maybe I'll look for a small but nice gift, and a smaller cash bonus. If I can convince my husband. He's team daycare all the way because of issues like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2642099 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 18:36:16 +0000 SweetiePie 2642099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Specifically because you said she knows you're on a budget, and it sounds like you have a good relationship, I think it's ok to do a smaller than average bonus and tell her how much you appreciate her and wish that you could do more but $X is all you can do this year and you hope she doesn't take it as a reflection of how you value her. </p> <p>I wouldn't use the time off she gets as an excuse because that IS standard in our region (nanny gets paid when you give her the time off) and it's your choice not hers. Like if she demanded 5 weeks when she started then that could be a reason to say "ok smaller bonus". But since it's due to your schedule and it is expected, I wouldn't use that as my reason. She could say "well ok then I'll go to someone else, get 5 paid weeks AND a full week bonus" if that's the reason you gave her. And theoretically you COULD still have her work on your days off (take one kid so you can do something with the other, use her as an extra pair of hands, etc) but you choose not to and give her that time off instead. Am I making sense? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2642096 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 18:33:28 +0000 yoursilverlining 2642096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I don't even think you should feel complicated about this if the reason you do is an online poll found that 60% of people in the online mom group say they give their nanny a bonus of any kind in your area. </p> <p>Assuming that figure is accurate, it still means that almost half of nannies don't receive a week's pay as a bonus - or anything at all!</p> <p>People often also lie about generosity and money generally, especially in groups where others are talking about giving more or having more. So I would guess some of those "oh of course I do!" votes; don't. </p> <p>Give what you are comfortable with, it doesn't sound like there is a standard or "expected" holiday gift. I also wouldn't explain its all you can do, or that you are on a budget. She clearly likes your family, why give a gift but introduce it with a pseudo apology? :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2642091 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 18:20:15 +0000 daniellemybelle 2642091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I vote cash and considering the amount of PTO she gets, I'm sure $100 (and a very nice card) would be appreciated! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2642030 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 15:05:34 +0000 youboots 2642030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I vote cash. I think $100 is fine especially considering the amount of PTO she gets. I'm sure you enjoy your time as a family on days off but you might want to take advantage of that and got your breakfast with your husband sometime on a holiday without kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2642028 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 14:58:53 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2642028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about just giving her $250? It's a third of what she may be expecting, but still a generous IMO gift on top of all the extras she is accustomed to getting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2642025 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 14:39:13 +0000 Mrs D 2642025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Since it seems like you very much like her and she very much likes you I would focus on showing her how much you value her. You've made it clear you do not think $750 is a reasonable Christmas bonus - so I think you could go above and beyond in other areas.</p> <p>A Kate Spade purse is nice - but would she value it? I mean yes its a high dollar item but its not going to get you very far if she doesnt care about it?</p> <p>I agree to some extent with @Madison43: that you want to make sure your bonus/christmas gift is not a reason for her to look elsewhere. So if you have heard it is somewhat common to gift $750 and you dont want to do that then go for extremely heart-warming/thoughtful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2642008 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 14:17:36 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 2642008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I should also add that we're in TN and nannies are not a big thing here, so the threshold for keeping them happy is lower, lol. And she's paid pretty generously compared to what I've heard is the going rate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2642006 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 14:15:44 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 2642006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I freelance so I never really get vacation per se, and DH is a professor but always has contract work or other projects, too. So we're not really your typical couple when it comes to vacation -- we always have work to do, really.</p> <p>When we go out of town what we typically do is shift some days around or have her work a little more before and after to make up the time, and then just pay her as normal. She only works 4 days a week so it's a little easier for us to do that. Or sometimes we just eat the cost and give her a freebie day when we give short notice. Last year she took her official week over the holidays, our bonus covered another week, and then she had a couple of personal days she hadn't taken too. It worked out well and it looks like that will probably happen again this year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641973 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 13:25:12 +0000 Anagram 2641973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Yoyo: Just curious, do you only have 1 week of vacation a year or do you keep the nanny when you are off on vacation? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641943 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 12:29:39 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 2641943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would echo @ShootingStar on this. We will probably do a full week's pay, but we only do one week of paid vacation, so this in effect gives her two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641931 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 12:07:42 +0000 ShootingStar 2641931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would give some sort of cash gift and tell her it's what you can afford and you hope the extra time off that comes with working for your family makes up for it not being a full week amount. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641922 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 11:58:22 +0000 magnoliamama42 2641922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To Nanny: "Look, you have this much more average vacation time per year than most nannies in our area. We can't afford a bonus. I hope that the extra vacation time is enough incentive for you to stay with us, because we want to keep you. </p> <p>"If, however, this is a deal-breaker, then perhaps we can make a deal where next year you have less vacation time (maybe have her run errands for you on those days you're home, or "make up" those days by taking some nights baby-sitting) and we will save up enough by the end of the year to be sure you have a bonus." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641820 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 09:39:28 +0000 looch 2641820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like to gift and receive cash, it's always the right color, right size, etc. </p> <p>I like to do a week's pay for that kind of stuff, it feels right to me. It's enough without being over the top. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641811 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 09:23:59 +0000 winniebee 2641811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I wouldn't worry about doing a big bonus then. It seems like she's committed to your family. I would do whatever you are comfortable with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641810 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 09:23:57 +0000 Mamaof2 2641810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I would do a cash gift - as much as you are willing to spend - seems like she likes your family and was excited to start back 1 Sept! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641803 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 09:19:19 +0000 Anagram 2641803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: She was a live in au pair, when she came to the US originally. She doesn't talk much about that job except to say the kids were a handful. Between the au pair job and us, she worked a job way further out in the suburbs, so I'm sure the whole pay scale was different. Now us. So I feel like we are in uncharted territory for both of us.</p> <p>Also, over the summer we had to let her go (financial reasons, I'm off in the summer and my husband won't pay a full time nanny while I'm home full time)--we let her know way in advance, like in April, that we would pay till the end of June and try to help her find a new job. She had several interviews in our town, but none were paying as much as we were, or they wanted her to exchange hours or work overtime without time-and-a-half, so she turned them down. She started a better paying job on the UWS, but came back and asked if we'd be willing to start again when I go back to work because the family at the new job was odd, and she didn't want to keep working there. So she started back with us Sept 1.</p> <p>So at this point, she worked with us from Feb 1-end of June, and now Sept 1-now. And we gave her a raise starting Sept 1 because we like her and were thrilled to have her back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641797 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 09:13:29 +0000 winniebee 2641797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get about a 10% christmas bonus so we give our nanny a $500 Christmas bonus. If I did not get a bonus, I wouldn't do that for her. She gets 2 weeks paid vacation and a week of sick time on top of that. We usually take 4 weeks off and during 2 of the weeks she works doing home organization and cleaning. </p> <p>In your case, I would give her a gift card or a smaller cash gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641793 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 09:11:24 +0000 Smurfette 2641793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: not over $750 dollars. If I liked my job and the other perks.<br /> @Anagram: they are final sale. I am sure they will do another around Black Friday if you wait. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641790 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 09:09:17 +0000 Madison43 2641790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: hmm. Do you have any idea what her expectations are? Has she been a nanny for long time? Again my only concern would be retention bc if you guys don't offer something that everyone else does and all other things are equal, it gives her reason to move on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641787 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 09:03:11 +0000 Anagram 2641787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: Well, in my town it isn't totally standard. My town has an interesting split between people who don't mind spending a lot of money, and people who are on budgets but it's all very weird and secretive. Like when we first started thinking about a nanny, I posted on my local mommy group to ask how much people pay for 2 kids. Lots of people chimed in and said $20+ depending on years experience and years with the family, etc. But then I got a lot of PMs from moms saying nannies answer that question themselves, and it's inflated and they pay only $15/hour for 2 kids. SO one local mom did a survey and over 1000 moms answered it, and the range was much wider that you'd think. Lots of people were paying $13-15 an hour, some paying over $20. A question was asked about holiday bonuses, and something like only 60% did a bonus of any kind.</p> <p>That's why it's complicated to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641777 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:58:15 +0000 Anagram 2641777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: That's how we are. We don't spend $750 on even all 4 of us for Christmas. We might spend $50 on each kid and some years we don't even do gifts for ourselves. And our nanny knows that, actually. That's why I like her. The first nanny we had for a few weeks wasn't very good and would also always hint at getting lunch money or money to take the baby to activities, and our current nanny gets that we don't have budget money for that and finds free things for the baby to do, like library story time.</p> <p>I'm going to have to think about it over the next month. </p> <p>So if I buy something from the Surprise Sale, is it returnable? haha. For sure not giving our nanny a Kate Spade bag and a cash bonus. I myself have a purse from Target. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641776 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:57:36 +0000 Madison43 2641776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: right, but if it was standard in your industry and your employer didn't pay it, wouldn't that be a reason to look for other employment? Think of it less as a gift and more part of the comp package. </p> <p>ETA: I'm not trying to be argumentative, just explaining why it's not as crazy as it sounds! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641774 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:56:38 +0000 ksnow 2641774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I would not give a bonus like that. I'm not in the same area, but I think your ample paid time off and a small gift are already very generous. I couldn't afford $750 gift for my nanny...or anyone for that matter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641772 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:53:14 +0000 Smurfette 2641772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I bought a Christmas present this morning and maybe a necklace for myself. Bottom line is I don't spend $750 on a present for my DH, parents, or anyone, I am not going to for a nanny even if everyone else does it. DH nor I get Christmas bonus's, so why should we give one? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641768 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:51:18 +0000 Madison43 2641768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: in the end, so do I. We do a week that I choose and a week that she chooses over the summer, but then I usually take the week of Thanksgiving and the week between Christmas and New Years off, so she gets that. And we usually take a couple of long weekends and she has a few religious holidays....it all adds up, I totally get it. I think if at the beginning on her employment you had agreed that she would get an extra week (or 3!) of vacation in lieu of a bonus, that would be different. But if you took extra vacation outside of the agreed upon time, I don't think you can count that against her bonus now, you know? Maybe you could change the comp structure this year to account for extra vacation time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641763 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:46:43 +0000 Anagram 2641763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: That's funny, I was just browsing the Kate Spade surprise sale right now and thinking about our nanny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641761 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:45:26 +0000 Anagram 2641761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: Yeah, we give her like 5 weeks paid vacation though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641757 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:41:52 +0000 Madison43 2641757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're in the same area and although it sucks, I think paying a week's salary as a bonus is so standard here that it would be a slap in the face not to. Just like 2 weeks paid vacation, it's part of having a nanny here. Getting a gift is nice, but the reality is that your nanny probably wants/needs the cash way more than she needs a bag. If you want to keep her, I'd pay the bonus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-christmas-gift-help#post-2641753 Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:36:12 +0000 Smurfette 2641753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way I would do a week's pay. I am too cheap for that.</p> <p>What about a nice Kate Spade bag? She has a 75% off sale stuff online. </p>