https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Jul 2026 04:59:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-40293 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 21:28:25 +0000 Nskillet 40293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To me, it isnt the act of feeding the child something you asked her not to. To me the issue lies in blatantly not telling you about what she's doing with your child. The fact that she didnt feel it necessary to tell you what she fed Liv is more the problem in my eyes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-40207 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 18:30:17 +0000 Miss Adia 40207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breathe. Know it's not the end of the world.<br /> I tell myself everyday: Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind.<br /> I'm Buddhist, so I might just be more chill than others though.<br /> Anyway, I wouldn't do anything drastic like fire her or hold a grudge. Sometimes when it's a close friend, they think there is more leeway and don't have to act very strict. I would sit down with her and have a heart to heart. Tell her that you feel strongly about this and if it happens again, you will have to find other help.<br /> Good luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-40109 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:55:27 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 40109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely agree that's unacceptable. She is the nanny, you are the mom. She has to do what you say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-40052 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:15:21 +0000 Rubies 40052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's unacceptable. She MUST be made to understand that you do no want LO to be eating solids just yet and she needs to respect that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39972 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:13:10 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 39972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unacceptable, and she needs to hear that on no uncertain terms. FWIW, we still have not started at 6 mos, 2 days, and will wait until the holidays are over. I may post about the benefits of waiting soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39945 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 13:21:22 +0000 Clementine 39945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really disturbing. I would definitely not be afraid to tell her this is NOT COOL and CANNOT HAPPEN AGAIN. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39888 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:26:20 +0000 Andrea 39888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know exactly how you feel. I tried out a nanny when my LO was about that age and I thought she fed her some yogurt because I saw one of her bibs stained with what looked like yogurt. I was shaking and crying when I saw the bib. I made my DH call the babysitter because I was so upset but the nanny denied doing it and just said that she was trying to eat the yogurt and my daughter grabbed it or something and it ended up spilling on her bib. I was not totally convinced but I let it go. She also did a few other things against my wishes and after that I enrolled my daughter in daycare where they always follow my instructions. I hope this doesn't happen again for you or else I would definitely find another nanny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39870 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:17:48 +0000 Mrsbells 39870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LivsMama: Oh I get it now.. she still crossed the line though because it should be your decision when you want to start solids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39869 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:16:23 +0000 LivsMama 39869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: I think my post was confusing, so Ill go edit it. She fed her the banana yesterday at 5 months. Shes just been bringing it up since 3.5 =o) I agree though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39867 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:15:36 +0000 LivsMama 39867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: awe yay! We were baby birthday twins! lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39866 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:14:54 +0000 sorrycharlie 39866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>AS a nanny, I can say I'd NEVER have done something I was explicitly told not to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39859 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:11:07 +0000 Mrsbells 39859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your nanny crossed the line. its one thing to offer her opinion but to act on it and disregard your requests is just going too far. How does she know what solids you wanted to start with. I'd be furious if someone fedmy baby a banana at 3.5 months. We personally want to start solids at around 4 months and even then we will start veggies first and start one veggie at a time and do a whole week of one veggie before introducing another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39854 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:08:52 +0000 LivsMama 39854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>thanks everoyne. Glad to know Im not being over-reactional (I dont even think thats a word but Im going with it) over this. Im going to sit her down tonight and tell her that WE are the parents and that while she may be well intentioned, we ask that she respect our wishes and that deviation from them is not ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39846 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:02:43 +0000 Lozza 39846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh HELLS no. I'd be off my rocker pissed.<br /> If you'll still like her to be Liv's caregiver, maybe just make a super big deal of this- sitting her down, and explaining that if she is goign to be Liv's caregiver, it is essential and mandatory that she cares for Liv in a way that you (as the parent) are comfortable with, and aware of. And that if you are going to trust her with Liv's health and well-being, you have to be able to trust that when you give her specific guidance, she needs to follow it, regardless of how she feels about it. And that if she thinks she is unable to do this, then this situation may not be the right fit for any of you.<br /> It might also be helpful for you to sit down with your husband and figure out what kind of consequences there would be if this happened again.. and maybe share those with her? Like, explain that you've discussed it together and that you're really upset and disappointed, but you want to use this as a chance to make expectations crystal clear... and now that they are clear, if this happens again, she can expect X outcomes.<br /> I'm sorry. That sucks.<br /> In fairness, I have to admit that while my first reaction is "I'd fire her! That's unacceptable!", it's totally true that this happens to us in a daycare setting. Like, we were trying to wean DS off his binky, and so we stopped leaving one for him at daycare and told a couple of teachers that we were trying this... and then we kept picking him up and finding a binky in his mouth!<br /> It's never been anything awful, but I think we just accept that with a bigger group of kids, individual instructions may just end up getting confused or lost. And we try not to stress about it because it's still the best situation for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39841 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:00:22 +0000 Maysprout 39841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd def have a heart to heart. There was bound to be a time when she didn't agree with your parenting decisions but you guys are the parent and if she isn't willing to cooperate with your decisions then being a nanny isn't the right job for her. I can understand not wanting to fire her but I'd make it clear that in the future that going against your wishes as a parent is a big no no. </p> <p>As an aside good work on the 90th percentile, that's a good little eater! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39839 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:58:36 +0000 MsMamaBear 39839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be ready to fire her. So many people are trying to get me to feed Baby Bear cereal, she's 3 months, and it's annoying because she sleeps just fine and I'm the mom, not them. </p> <p>Being a mom is one thing I don't have to take others consideration on (besides my SO since he's the papa.LOL) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39834 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:53:54 +0000 heffalump 39834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LivsMama: my lo is 5 months today too!</p> <p>I would be sooo upset if I were you. That's just not ok! Personally, I would fire her. If she ignores you on this who knows what she'll ignore later on. It shouldn't matter if she thinks your lo is ready for solids. You're the parent, you make the decisions, and she needs to respect that. But since you're against firing her I would at least have a talk with her and tell her you're not ok with it and won't put up with anything else like that ever again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39826 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:44:11 +0000 katdevargas 39826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everyone else. huge no &amp; I would be super upset. I'd sit down &amp; talk to her about it &amp; then follow up with a written record of your verbal conversation outlining what you'd talked about &amp; what was going to be happening in the future. maybe having it in writing like that will cause her to take it more seriously </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39825 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:43:44 +0000 ecogirl 39825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not be okay with this either. Even if she is a family friend I assume you are paying her. That makes you the decision maker and this is a huge one to me. If she cannot respect your decisions on how to feed your child she may also decide to ignore them in other areas later on. The fact that she did not tell you that she expressly dismissed your instructions and you had to find out in another way tells me she would have probably continued doing it until she felt she wanted you to know. I think you need to sit with her and explain that being family friends is wonderful but you expect her to adhere to your every rule when it comes to your child. I would have a very hard time with trust after this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39824 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:43:39 +0000 mrbee 39824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some nannies just ignore you if they disagree. To me, this would be a dealbreaker. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39821 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:41:48 +0000 hilsy85 39821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be furious as well. I think it's hard when it's a family friend, because maybe you don't feel like you can be as firm with her? I would sit her down and tell her that you know she means well, but if she isn't able to follow your instructions, then you'll have to have a discussion about whether she's a good fit for you/your family. Is she an older woman? If so, maybe she's coming from a perspective of, oh I know best, I've done this before. She needs to get that you're the mom and in your house it's your rules, even if it's not the way she would do it.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39815 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:32:16 +0000 Rosie Girl 39815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not be ok with that. I would sit her down and tell her how you feel and that you are not ok with it. Tell her that you love having her as your nanny and that you completely trust her with your LO, but you need her to respect your parenting decisions since you are the parent, and if she can't, then you will have issues. Man I would be pissed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39814 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:28:21 +0000 owlmom 39814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have every right to be angry - I'm angry just reading it! Since you had already told her not to, I think it is a big deal. I would have a serious conversation with her about how going forward, her employment is contingent on respecting your wishes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39812 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:27:52 +0000 Mrs. Bee 39812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>that would be unacceptable to me. i think it's tougher when it's a family friend -- she might think she has more leeway than a normal nanny might. i would lay down the law! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39811 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:27:30 +0000 LivsMama 39811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@venice4504: thats one of the first things I thought. I also saw that she had widened the nipple on some of Livs bottles, so I threw those nipples away and told her that I kept it a slow flow for a reason, which she understood after I told her. Luckily Liv is back on the boob, thank god. =o) Thanks for remembering that post! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39807 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:26:49 +0000 polkadots 39807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>there are so many views on when its best to start solids.. my mom said she started giving me cereal at 2 weeks and she wonders why I don't want to start till 6 months... ultimately you can start when ever you want .. but its your choice as the parent and no one elses. I would be very annoyed and upset especially since it was something other than cereal... and she could of had a reaction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39806 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:26:15 +0000 LivsMama 39806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Everyone lol. Liv is 5 months old today, so its not too early (she never fed her solids before yesterday.) She is WONDERFUL, and truthfully we trust her 100% and I doubt shes doing anything else we've explicitly said not to do (which is only sleeping on her stomach) so I think finding a new nanny isnt an option. I know shes well intentioned, and she really thinks Liv is ready. I think shes ready too, she just doesnt NEED it. Its also me being stubborn. I busted my ass to build up my nonexistant supply to be able to EBF her, and I wanted to make it to the 6 month milestone, which I still intend to do.</p> <p>If DH and I hadnt been letting her taste things, I would take this even harder. As a parent, you look forward to milestones, and one of those is feeding your baby solids for the first time so you can see the reaction. If we hadnt let her taste, that experience would have been missed, ya know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39805 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:26:10 +0000 venice4504 39805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hold the phone: could the nanny's actions have anything to do with Liv not happy with the boobie lately?? Oh dear. Big hugs your way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39799 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:24:17 +0000 BabyLove 39799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be so pissed OFF! That is absolutely unacceptable and you should say as much. As the parents you dictate what your child does in all aspects, even in daycare. It's not as if you're not following developmental guidelines. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-fed-my-baby-solids#post-39796 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:22:43 +0000 chopsuey 39796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree. I'd be super firm with your nanny and tell her NOT to feed your LO anymore food. Shiz. Fire her! jk. :) How old is LO now? </p>