https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 20 May 2026 07:31:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle/page/2#post-2258316 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 19:32:22 +0000 wonderstruck 2258316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I don't see an update from today? I thought all this happened before she talked to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle/page/2#post-2258275 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 17:47:17 +0000 littlejoy 2258275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man ... To be sure I'm reading your update right, you caught her again TODAY (after you talked to her) on her phone? This is absolutely inexcusable. I am like you, I hate confrontation ... We ultimately decided to put our LO in daycare (after a year with a nanny), and telling the nanny was the hardest thing ever. But, once it was done, I felt good about our choice. </p> <p>Anyway, I agree with PP ... time to search for a new nanny. She clearly has no regard for your wishes, and frankly, it's really sad that she's sitting there ignoring your child. A two year old is vibrant, and learning soooo fast. It's so important to have a caregiver that will foster her learning and encourage her amazing creativity. You'll find someone new!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle/page/2#post-2258236 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 16:50:20 +0000 californiadreams 2258236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ksnow: i am not saying you should look for a new nanny immediately if you want to give her a chance. But i agree with @mrbee: as i've had a couple of nannies and babysitters and some were just night and day! I trusted them all safety-wise, but so obvious that some of them genuinely loved what they do and knew all kinds of ways to interact with my son (I learned from my nanny actually), while another babysitter i had would just annoy me because i could tell her heart wasn't in it and he wasn't a priority. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle/page/2#post-2258039 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 14:12:21 +0000 mrbee 2258039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ksnow: I would look for a new nanny! We had one for both of our kids (before daycare) and there are lots of great nannies out there that really do love kids! But there are also lots of nannies who don't prioritize their kids, and it sounds like your nanny may be more along those lines. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle/page/2#post-2256872 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 15:27:18 +0000 ksnow 2256872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@illumina: I did think about that, but honestly it sounds like a lot of extra work for me and very micro-manangy to try to plan out what I want them to do every day. I mean sometimes DD wants to do this over that, and that's fine, so long as she's engaging with her. If I were the sitter and they were like okay today you'll finger paint, work on alphabet, ride her car...i'd be agitated. And that's part of what I'm paying a good nanny for assuming they can come up with fun activities (and I try to keep the house stocked with toys/craft supplies/books/etc...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle/page/2#post-2256864 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 15:21:28 +0000 ksnow 2256864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for all the advice! It's very helpful to hear my thoughts echoed, since I tend to talk myself out of most things. I hate jumping to conclusions/thinking the worst so I tend to make excuses well maybe xyz...and talk myself out of mentioning it, when it is something that's bugging me. </p> <p>I tried to keep it in line with most of the advice and asked to talk before she left. I kept it brief and didn't mention how I knew and just noted that I had some concerns with cell phone use and would prefer she used it only for important calls on an occasional basis. She immediately apologized and mentioned she had to call the Pharmacy today. Which was a little awkward because that's the type of call I wouldn't really have an issue with and I don't want her to think that was the extent of my issue. So I noted that's not really what I meant, I meant more recurring/internet browsing. I didn't mention how I knew/why I was saying it. So hopefully she understands and it was clear enough what I'm wanting.</p> <p>Regarding those that suggested dropping by, so hopefully she won't want to be seen on her phone, I may have to try to do this in the future. Honestly one of the reasons she was probably so comfortable using her phone because I really try to not pop in through the day. My daughter doesn't really like it if I just walk through the room without giving her some attention for an extended time. So one of the reasons I use the monitor in her room is I usually power it up for one minute to confirm they are in her room, and then make a bathroom trip/fill up water...After my daughter mentioned the cell phone usage, I had watched social media for a few days and was upset. Then last night - my daughter has one of our old school cameras and she likes to take pics of us/her toys/etc...she was showing me photos last night and she was doing a photo shoot with Ariel I could see nanny in the background on her phone thru a series of photos...I forgot to mention that earlier. Typically her room monitor is aimed at her bed, but this AM I turned it to her little chair (where she was on the phone during my DD's photo shoot) and when I checked if it was clear to use the restroom today, that's when I saw her on the phone. And then I just couldn't stop watching until she put the thing down. Also, it wasn't like my daughter was happily playing independently, she was having a picnic and kept trying to involve nanny (handing her food) but she'd just take it, be like 'mm hmm', and back to phone. Only reason she put phone down was when DD took her shopping cart and left the room.</p> <p>I really hope it improves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle/page/2#post-2256639 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 13:22:45 +0000 mrbee 2256639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be very upset if a nanny was focusing on building her business instead of on my child! I would wait until the end of day on Friday, and tell her that your daughter mentioned that she's on her phone a lot, and that you looked into it and noticed that her social media is very active during the daytime. And that rather than jump to any conclusions, you wanted to ask her for her perspective on what's been going on.</p> <p>If she offers to completely limit her social media posting, I would give her one more chance and schedule regular followup meetings to discuss progress. That said, I've noticed that some people are just addicted to devices and social media. So I'd start asking friends for referrals right away, just in case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256604 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 13:03:02 +0000 Littlebit 2256604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't give her an explanation at all unless she asks. </p> <p>I would just say 'Hey, we've noticed you've been using your phone a good bit and we'd appreciate if you could tone down the usage while with LO.' if she asks how you know (she probably won't) then I would give her examples (social media presence, etc.). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256595 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 12:59:17 +0000 Greentea 2256595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: maybe you didn't see my update. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256591 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 12:54:47 +0000 wonderstruck 2256591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you need to say anything about your daughter telling you or you looking at the monitor. Just, "Hey, I understand if you occasionally need to take a call or use your phone, but lately the phone use seems to be pretty excessive." If she has common sense that should be all you have to say and it should be met with an apology and a promise to cut back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256589 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 12:53:01 +0000 catomd00 2256589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: every employer I have ever worked for had a cell phone and Internet personal use policy. It's well within an employers right. This is no different. The fact is, when your eyes are on a device you aren't fully engaging with another person and that is what a nanny is paid to do. There was an article I read recently In which kids described how they felt when their caregivers were constantly on their devices around them. It was sad to hear how they felt unimportant and ignored. So yes, "multitasking" can have negative impact. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256582 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 12:49:39 +0000 illumina 2256582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't approach this in the way pp have mentioned...instead I would figure out what you would prefer she be doing instead with your LO and make sure she does those things. I mean, that is the issue right? It's not that she's on her phone it's that she's not interacting fully with your LO. Hopefully if her time is otherwise filled she won't have so much downtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256573 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 12:46:06 +0000 sunny 2256573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would walk by a few times today where they are playing and then say at the end of the day "I noticed you were on your phone a lot today. I would prefer you limit your phone use during the day so you can focus on LO. " </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256559 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 12:42:38 +0000 winniebee 2256559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say that your daughter mentioned she's on the phone a lot and say that you would appreciate it if she would limit her phone / tablet time while she is caring for your daughter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256529 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 12:27:03 +0000 Greentea 2256529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ksnow: I get it. You feel like she is just kind of using up your time/ burning time, and not only that but using your dime to forward her "other" career. Maybe try "please try to limit your phone use to 30 minutes a day total," or whatever your ideal number (you feel is within reason) would be. Maybe just keep it that straight-forward and simple. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256504 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 12:06:39 +0000 LibbyLou 2256504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lots of advice here but I would stick with simple and short to begin with. Ask her to speak with her a few minutes after work. Then just say "I just wanted to remind you of our TV/technology preference from our interview process and DH and I prefer limited technology except when an emergency". She will say okay, and if she presses and asks if there's an issue just say DD mentioned it and you have noticed her on her phone a few times. If it gets to that point, try to give some good feedback too so she doesn't feel too attacked. I would be shocked if she asked because she probably knows she's been slipping. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256464 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 11:33:50 +0000 Mrs D 2256464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others - you are totally within your rights to say something. You are paying her for a level of service you dont feel you are receiving!</p> <p>I like how @Little Misters Mom: put it best - I'd take that approach! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256442 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 11:08:52 +0000 Madison43 2256442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ksnow: yeah, I totally get that it's awkward but it's not like she doesn't know there's a camera in the room. I think mentioning that you saw it is a better alternative that catching her in the act, because as you said, you don't have a problem with an occassional call or text. I think it's much better to say that you noticed that she's on the phone a lot and that you need her to restrict her phone time during LO's awake hours to only those calls or texts which are urgent. No different than any other job. I don't think it's a big deal at all, although I understand that anticipating that kind of conversation can cause some anxiety. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256440 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 11:02:38 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2256440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TemperanceBrennan: that sounds reasonable.</p> <p>@Greentea: posting on social media sites and talking to her friends is not multi-tasking. Its taking personal time during work hours. A SAHP is very different from a nanny. A nanny's sole responsibility is to care for her charge. If the child can verbalize the nanny uses her phone alot that's a red flag that the child's needs are not always met. The nanny's eyes and attention are diverted away from the child and focused on her phone. The child may have to wait until the nanny finishes with her phone before tending to a request. I'd much rather my kid learn patience because a nanny was doing something productive (job related) rather than talking on the phone.</p> <p>Employers have every right to limit phone and Internet use. People go to work to work. They get paid to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256436 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:59:19 +0000 birdofafeather 2256436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: The nanny is her employee that she is paying to take care of her child. She absolutely is within her rights to set limits for phone use! Mom/dad using technology and paid childcare ignoring my kid to use their phone are totally different. Honestly, if I wanted to get work done all day I could stick my kid in front of the TV and not pay anyone to do that. I paid preschool to give my kid care, interact with her in a way that I can't when I WAH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256434 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:56:38 +0000 ksnow 2256434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I mentioned during interviews/initial days I expected limited phone and no TV. And I understand she's a person - that's why I try to be pretty easy going usually...I would be upset if my boss was like no don't take that call from your husband for 3 minutes. But I think it's different than spending a good chunk of time fiddling around on your phone. If I can't mention it to her and see if she'll correct it - I would let her go. So I'd assume she'd prefer I gave her an opportunity to rectify before firing her? In regards to caring for my child properly - is my DD going to get hurt? No - I would have already had her leave if I thought that was the case. But *to me* carrying for my daughter properly involves modeling good behavior (I don't want her addicted to a device) and interacting with her. And let's face it if your staring at your phone you're not thinking up engaging activities, talking to her, helping her learn...All of the above prefaced with if it was a small occurrence I would let it slide, but the amount of phone time I've seen evidence of has me pretty fired up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256432 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:53:13 +0000 snowjewelz 2256432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you need to explain how you know either! Since she is guilty of it, I don't think she'd press?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256431 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:52:25 +0000 sapphire 2256431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: actually, she can limit her cellphone use. It's not her"right" to use her phone on the job. Many employers limit phone use during working hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256430 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:51:50 +0000 rosegold 2256430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: aren't their rules for some jobs to not have your cell phone on or even around you though? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256427 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:51:14 +0000 NovBaby1112 2256427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: sorry but I don't agree and I don't get that logic. You are employing someone and you have the right to say something if you don't like what you see. She isn't paying her to be on her phone when she should be interacting with her daughter. As a mother, you aren't getting paid so you can do whatever you want around your child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256424 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:49:11 +0000 NovBaby1112 2256424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Little Misters Mom: agree with all of this! </p> <p>I would be livid though...I don't think you need to wait to catch her in act. I like how the above PP worded it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256419 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:48:14 +0000 Greentea 2256419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't agree. She is a person, you can't limit her cell phone rights. As long as she is caring for your child properly, I don't think she should be micromanaged. Hire someone you trust.</p> <p>I have been a nanny and wouldn't work for someone who tried to micromanage me or didn't disclose I was on a camera (or has that been disclosed?). I watch my daughter and am on my phone a lot. Multi tasking is part of keeping sanity. IMO being on a smartphone is less attention taking than even watching tv.</p> <p>In the future maybe disclose your preferences for limited phone usage before you hire (or have you?). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256409 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:41:03 +0000 rosegold 2256409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ksnow: definitely catch her in the act. maybe even give it a few times so you at keast have situations you can refer to when talking to her. definitely would not blame it on dd as she might treat her differently and I wouldn't want to risk that and no to admitting you've seen her social media or on the cam... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256406 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:38:55 +0000 catomd00 2256406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think she needs to know you know "all of it". It will be a true test of you Give less info. I would just say, hey we would appreciate if you didn't use your phone while LO was awake unless it's an emergency. Then see if it improves. If not, address it further or find a new nanny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-on-cell-all-the-time-how-to-handle#post-2256401 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 10:34:49 +0000 Little Misters Mom 2256401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p>