https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 14:58:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1536871 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 12:58:18 +0000 Modern Daisy 1536871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also had similar concerns with my nanny, but she ended up quitting (with no notice lol) so we never really addressed them. I really liked her, but I also found she normally ignored my suggestions and did things her own way. She worked for us during a time when ds only cried when hungry so it was much easier for her to deal with him, but she never took him outside or sent us pictures unless we prodded her. I also suspect she spent most of the day watching tv.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1536764 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 12:34:55 +0000 californiadreams 1536764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: i just saw this now and wanted to say also to follow your gut. I had 2 part time babysitters at the same time last summer so i could work on my dissertation, so i was home while they were there. I was so happy for the experiene of both of them because it was like night and day. </p> <p> Both were trustworthy, reliable and came with excellent references. One I loved because she was so good with LO and the other not so much. I kept the second one because it was short term, but it was the same as you described - meltdowns/crying fests when being put down for naps, refusing bottles (but he would take a bottle from anyone else). She also annoyed me after time because when i tried to address how to handle these things better, she never took my suggestions and would do things her own way still - which to me clearly was not working. I got the sense she would be better with older kids when their needs were different. So, ironically, i am relying on this babysitter now during a time when we are stuck for child care - but LO is a toddler now and i know the issues we had before are not as pertinent (and it is short term again until we sort things out). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1522628 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 12:15:28 +0000 Synchronicity 1522628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: the nanny is not your priority :) I would maybe let her know that she isn't really doing anything wrong, but it just doesn't appear that her and your LO are clicking. Hopefully you have better luck with your next nanny! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1522597 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 12:07:18 +0000 Madison43 1522597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PermaStudent: @Cole: thanks - I was hoping some<br /> nannys would chime in. If I'm being honest, I only really care how my daughter feels, but I imagine the nanny knows that this is not working as well and would be happy to move on to something different.. There's plenty of nanny jobs in BK, so I'm not worried that she'll be unemployed for ong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1522261 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 10:33:56 +0000 Cole 1522261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a nanny and agree you should try again. I once was in a job where I just didn't mesh with one of the kids. It was really hard to admit to myself but it was a total relief to give my notice and move on. When I told the parents my decision I told them I just didn't think it was a perfect fit and I wanted to make sure they were getting the best possible person for the job. The mom said she had noticed but since everything else was ideal she was hoping time would sort it out. I helped them find someone else and she was a great fit and stayed with the family for years. It was a sticky situation but it worked out so well for all of us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1522033 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:43:47 +0000 septca 1522033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: Thanks - I asked where you were because I think having a lot of options makes all the difference to your decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521984 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:33:32 +0000 Madison43 1521984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septca: in Brooklyn, so there is certainly no shortage of nannies...it's just so frustrating because her references were glowing from her previous employers and their children were infants when she started. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521956 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:27:26 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1521956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really wanted to like the first nanny we found, but it just didn't work. It was scary starting all over again, but I am SO much happier! You need to be able to feel comfortable leaving your LO and if you aren't confident the nanny can calm her then you must be stressed all the time! Go with your gut for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521949 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:26:16 +0000 Madison43 1521949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone...I've been second guessing myself, and wondering if I'm doing something wrong,<br /> but you are all correct that I need to follow my gut. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521860 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:10:20 +0000 brady80 1521860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we basically had the same situation. Our nanny was with us part time for three months and I felt like they never got connected. My LO was happy to see her in the morning but that's about it. Our nanny also complained that our daughter liked to be held too much. In the end, I went with my gut, and we put our daughter in daycare. She's still adjusting, but seems much happier. Our nanny also came with glowing recommendations, but the kids were older. Would you consider a family daycare? We have found that our daughter is pretty social and really likes being around other kids. I think she got bored with the nanny! Good luck, and definitely trust your instinct </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521839 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:03:09 +0000 Smurfette 1521839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>By 7 weeks, they should have bonded and found their groove. I would start looking for someone else. Hugs Mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521830 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:00:16 +0000 SleepyMonkey 1521830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with posters above. 7 weeks is a long enough time that she and your baby should be in a groove now. I would start looking for a new one. Good thing is that now you can narrow down what you are looking for in a nanny. Don't forget to do remember reference checks! That is the best way to figure out if the nanny will be a good fit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521824 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:57:02 +0000 LuLu Mom 1521824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with PP, LO should be adjusted within 7 weeks, so I think trusting your gut on this one and lookign for another nanny who expresses love for the infant stage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521816 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:52:31 +0000 oliviaoblivia 1521816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like she and your daughter just aren't clicking. It doesn't mean she's a bad nanny or that your daughter is the fussiest baby, just that there might be a better match with someone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521814 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:50:59 +0000 Synchronicity 1521814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a nanny myself for two LOs. I'd go with your gut, mama. That's plenty of time for a bond to have been formed, but it doesn't sound like they click. I would be honest with the nanny and let her know you don't think it's a great fit, and start the search for a replacement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521800 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:46:30 +0000 Mrs. Bee 1521800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think 7 weeks is more than enough time for her to have connected with your little one. our nanny had a lot of trouble too, but by the 4 week mark she had found her stride (she started when i was in the middle of sleep training, so it was a tough week for her). i would probably start looking for a new nanny and tell her that it just didn't work out. or you can talk to her first and see if things improve... i know it's tough to make decisions like these when it comes to the care of your child, but you have to do what's best for your little one. good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521798 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:45:50 +0000 septca 1521798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my experience, different nannies are best at their work during different stages of childhood development. In the same way that some moms *love* the newborn stage and others have difficulty really connecting to their child until they can communicate, different nannies just have different skill sets. Our nanny, for example, is a wonderful infant nanny - patient, loving, gentle, etc., but as my daughter grows, I am looking forward to moving her into a more socialized and educational daycare settin. I would 100% recommend my nanny to another mom with an infant because that seems to be her real strength.</p> <p>Perhaps your nanny isn't cut out to be an infant nanny? To my mind, you have two options - (1) trust your gut and look for someone else, or (2) have a talk with your nanny about your concerns, lay out some specific actions you would like to see her take and see if things improve as your LO gets older/gets past this unpredictable sleep stage.</p> <p>Where are you located? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521763 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:33:05 +0000 irene 1521763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you are going through this... but yes it sounds like you may want to start looking. For someone who has experience working with babies, they should know how to deal with any kind of babies. If you (a new mom, I assume?) can figure it out then she should be doing a better job than you because she had experience... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521761 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:32:15 +0000 bushelandapeck 1521761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>WE have had a similar experience in that our last nanny was everything we could have wanted...except for super loving towards our son. She was kind, neat, organized, and did everything we asked of her, but she just didn't "connect" with him the way I would have liked. We kept her until recently, when her circumstances changed and she couldn't watch him the days we needed, and we have since found someone we absolutely love-and who loves our son the way we wanted. I can tell the difference by the way he acts with her, and her towards him. I say look for someone who meets ALL of your needs and wants for your LO. No sense continuing to stress about it if you have other options. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521754 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:28:12 +0000 mrswin 1521754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: I don't have much to offer since I have no LO's but I would say you should trust your gut, I think tenderness/caring would be really important for a nanny... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-situation#post-1521718 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:15:48 +0000 Madison43 1521718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is super long....apologies in advance.</p> <p>I'm not sure my 5 month old is adjusting well to our nanny and I'm really not sure how to handle it. She's been with us for almost 7 weeks and she is still unable to calm my daughter if she becomes very upset and about half the time, cannot put her down for a nap without a lot of tears. She recently told me (not in a mean way) that my LO was the most difficult baby she's ever handled. The thing is - she's not that difficult. She takes short naps, which I know can be frustrating and lead to her being fussy, but we don't experience the full on meltdowns that she is having with the nanny. </p> <p>We have cameras throughout our apartment (she knows they are there) so I know she's not doing anything crazy, but she just doesn't seem to be particularly empathetic. For example, yesterday LO was being fussy while drinking her bottle - she was tired and also has a bit of reflux - but it turned into a full blown hysterical cry fest because instead of giving her a break or talking to/comforting her in some way, she just keep trying to put the nipple in her mouth. </p> <p>This nanny came very highly recommended and my daughter seems to enjoy playing with her and smiles when she sees her in the morning, but I feel like this has been going on for long enough. I have tried not to micromanage and let them find their own way of doing things, but it's clearly not working and I'm at a loss of how to handle this. I can address the specific issues with her (don't force the bottle if she doesn't want it) but I'm not sure how to address the fact that she's not being loving enough. That sounds so sad :sad: </p> <p>I'm really feeling like this may not be a good fit, but before I make a rash decision, I wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions. Thanks. </p>