https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 10:26:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490263 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 23:32:15 +0000 mrbee 490263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: we went through the nanny to daycare transition with Charlie, and have seen a lot of transitions into the the daycare since then. The big thing we've learned is that the transition tends to be harder for the parents than for the kids! And the kids often pick up on that.</p> <p>The daycare teachers tell us that soon after the parents leave, many kids settle right down! Not always the case, but was a real surprise to hear. Charlie had some trouble with the transition but we probably made it a lot harder for him alas.</p> <p>In any case, definitely want to be 100% supportive of you! I hope the situation resolves well, and that your LO transitions well too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490259 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 23:26:15 +0000 irene 490259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We gave a very good holiday bonus. That shaped her back to good behavior for about 2 days.</p> <p>I can't skip the half days partly becuz the daycare is not that flexible. And that decision was made 2 months ago. Besides LO does need a transition period. @mrbee: you should know that kids are not just like robots and u drop them off they'd eat and sleep just fine.... Maybe true to ur kids but not to mine.... I also don't want to burn any bridges as we may use her as babysitter in the future </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490217 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 23:04:07 +0000 mrbee 490217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Ah she already has a good reference and a new gig... makes a lot more sense now. I would skip past the half days and go straight to fulltime at daycare!</p> <p>Did you guys give a solid holiday bonus? What's your plan for the final bonus? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490195 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:53:18 +0000 irene 490195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBoecksMom: I am sure all moms also run into 1 thing after the other, I guess I just like to whine haha! </p> <p>I really liked the daycare and hv paid for a deposit for the toddler class when LO was a newborn. By the time we visited them (I was in the end of the 2nd trimester) they had no room for the infant room anymore so we decided to hire a nanny before LO turns 1.</p> <p>@mrbee: do I really hv it that bad?<br /> Husband won't hv anything to do with it.<br /> LO is actually starting daycare next week for half days, and we are transitioning off so I do need our nanny, Especially now we hv no choice because of the serious stranger anxiety LO developed. I actually feel bad becuz I gave very good reference to her new employer. That was months ago when things weren't so bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490155 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:40:01 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 490155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Where I live a lot of people have nannies and I see this happen fairly often- they start off doing everything the mom asks and over time I see them paying less and less attention to the kids. We're going to be getting some part time help and that's something I'm planning on being very vigilant about. Even though it is a PITA if she's slacking and doesn't improve after our directions, we won't hesitate to look for someone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490119 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:27:36 +0000 mrbee 490119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: What a nightmare! I would be so upset!!! Her behavior is so disrespectful!</p> <p>Do you think your husband would be willing to be the bad cop? You could schedule a sitdown with you and your husband and her. He could let her know that he got some feedback from neighbors about her nannying, and that he'd like her to finish her time with your family in a strong way so that you're both comfortable giving her a reference.</p> <p>I wouldn't warn her or give her an ultimatum... I would keep things mostly positive (that way, you can still be the good cop). But by your husband mentioning the reference, she would know that there are serious consequences if she doesn't shape up.</p> <p>If she doesn't shape up right away, I would just have your husband fire her asap. Give her whatever severance has been agreed to, and thank her for her help. Maybe your LO could start daycare early? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490100 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:21:08 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 490100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I'm so sorry to hear all this! If it's not one thing, it's another and you've definitely had more than your share. I really hope you have better luck with daycare. Can I ask why you went with daycare instead of a different nanny? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490062 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:08:13 +0000 heffalump 490062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: oh no, I was wondering how you knew all of that stuff about her like the music she listened to and she didn't read books. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490059 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:06:02 +0000 Bao 490059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Yeah...sounds like it's time for something new for everyone though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490048 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:02:37 +0000 irene 490048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: See, she wasn't lazy to begin with. It was after a few months and we sort of became friends (well not really, but we chat about things), and LO became more independent that's when she got lazier. And when I talked to her about the issues, she always has a lot of excuses. I think it depends on the person. That's why I said good luck.</p> <p>Don't get me wrong.... she is great in many other aspects.... my son actually really likes her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490034 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:58:23 +0000 daniellemybelle 490034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I think that was my problem, too... I'm sorry she wasn't the best nanny! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490026 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:54:47 +0000 Bao 490026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: oh wow you're at home and she still is lazy? I would feel so dumb if I were being lazy ESPECIALLY if I knew the parents could walk in and see me doing nothing all day. At least she isn't hiding anything... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490018 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:52:10 +0000 irene 490018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: Be proactive and go above and beyond... that's what I'd do too! DH kept saying well if you didn't work at home you wouldn't even know, so I kept reminding myself of that to make me feel better.... </p> <p>@artbee: Good luck with your hire. I work at home too so theoretically I'd be here and everything should go perfect. Not the case. </p> <p>@daniellemybelle: She's 23.... To be honest, she is not a bad girl, just lazy and too young. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-490009 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:46:16 +0000 daniellemybelle 490009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's tough. Is she young? I was a nanny during the summer when I was a college freshman, and looking back, I was not a great nanny... :( There were definitely days where the mom asked me to do things, like take him to the park, and I was too lazy. Now that I am more mature and understand child development more, even if I was feeling lazy, I would try to make more of an effort! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-489923 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:13:19 +0000 heffalump 489923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. Sounds like you made the right decision!</p> <p>I'm a sahm so no nanny here. We do have a unique situation though .... my sil is going back to work Monday and my mom just retired so she'll be nannying for my niece. Since it's 40 hours a week and I get severe migraines so she also has to watch my toddler on random occasions, she decided to hire a part time nanny to help.her out. </p> <p>But for the most part my mom will be with her so I'm not worried about it. Plus she already worked for my dad so we know she's a hard worker. </p> <p>So scary when you have someone watching your lo, its hard to find someone you trust! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-489917 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:10:00 +0000 Bao 489917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes! I am sorry you had such a bad experience. I was a nanny for several years for a couple of different families, and I took it upon myself to go above and beyond my asked duties. It sounds like you are doing everything right though. You are paying her to take care of your LO and help you out. Definitely sounds like she is being lazy. It is probably best you are starting your LO in daycare now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-stories-good-bad-and-the-ugly#post-489879 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 20:56:09 +0000 irene 489879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are going to daycare next week(!!!). LO will be 11.5 months. We've been with our nanny since LO was 4 months.</p> <p>She was great to begin with, then slowly there are different issues that surfaces. For example, it is very hard to ask her to do anything because she would simply ignore me if she doesn't agree to, or didn't feel like it. I only get maybe 60-70% of what is asked for. Our agreement was she will make food for LO when he gets older, but it ends up I was cooking/prepping food for LO 90% of the time. Sometimes I asked her to boil him some broccoli and carrots, but she just ignores me and takes out a baby food jar if LO finished his food and still wants more. I asked her about it at the end of the day and she'd say, oh, I didn't make the veggies. That happens everyday so I gave up and stopped asking.</p> <p>She also doesn't play children music anymore (I asked her to play 'em on the iPad via Pandora). She just use our iPad to play her own songs while watching LO, watch movies via YouTube, and Skype her sister (which is fine because she is in Iraq... but still...). She is always on the phone talking to someone. She also doesn't read to LO anymore. When I asked about it, she just said he is not interested. But still.... I still read to him myself! She also negotiated to go out with LO and I agreed to let them go out on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, as long as it is for an activity that gears toward LO (eg. the park, walks, classes, book store, library). However, toward the final weeks/months she just takes him to her apartment while she does her own stuff, or take him to run her own errands. Overall she got too comfortable and lazy. It is getting unbearable but I figured we only have a few weeks left.</p> <p>There was one time after we got back from the doctor, I asked her if she could give LO a bottle while I was busy taking out LO's lunch and dinner from the freezer (as I didn't get a chance to do that in the morning). After I was done and getting ready to get back to work, I realized they were still chilling in the nursery. I went in and asked if she was still giving him a bottle? She answered, "Oh, I thought you were getting a bottle ready for me." I flipped.</p> <p>Sometimes I thought maybe it was my problem, maybe I enabled it. Maybe I didn't know how to communicate to her, or manage her (according to DH), or maybe I am too uptight and control-freak (that's what our nanny thinks). I have been tolerating until even our neighbor said something to DH last weekend! She said that our nanny is rubbing off on their au pair (they basically became friends and had play dates together), and how she also does less and less work. She said to my DH how I must be very happy that LO is going to daycare! That's pretty strange considering she had all these great things to say about our nanny when we first hired her. That's a wake up call to me that it is not me who is crazy.</p> <p>I want to hear about your experience with your nanny - are/were you satisfied or are/were you tolerating like me? Or was it simply unacceptable? Anyone of you fired a nanny? </p>