https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 00:12:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745728 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 13:28:20 +0000 youboots 2745728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine is a more infrequent situation with my 16 year old babysitter who currently comes over 2-4 times a month for 4 hour chunks so I can work- which will increase to 4-8+ now that DD is out of school for 10 weeks. </p> <p>For me I don't expect a ton and am ok with occasional interruptions because I'm on the computer editing and doing email- not on the phone. Also she's a teen not a professional nanny- so it's not second nature for her to be good at distracting when T is crying for me. Sometimes DH is WAH too and it's more important that T is kept upstairs or in her room since he is often on the phone. I think it really depends on the skill level of the nanny and the temperament/age of the kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745691 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 12:28:41 +0000 runnerd 2745691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know the hardest part for me will be not being distracted and wanting to help the kids if they need me (my husband had an easy time staying in "work mode"), but the main reason we want to do it is because our 3 year old has always struggled with daycare and we would like to offer him more home time and flexibility before it's no longer and option (regular pre-k and kindergarten). So hard making these decisions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745687 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 12:21:28 +0000 gingerbebe 2745687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband's office is situated same place as your's but we have solid French doors so he isn't visible. He wears ear plugs or headphones to block out any extra noise and both our boys have been trained to never go in the office unless we are with them. So the boys never really try to go in there. Sometimes the boys will go and knock on his door and say hi through the door, but DH thinks it's cute.</p> <p>Generally if they are home with me or a sitter we keep them out of the house, but arrange interaction with the SAH parent at designated times so that the boys don't feel the need to try and bother the WAH parent. So DH will eat breakfast with the boys and then say daddy has to go to work, bye! And then he's in his office. Then usually DH will pop out to pour himself a coffee when the boys are having morning snack. Then he joins them for lunch. Then he usually gets them up from their naps. Then we always eat dinner together and DH handles baths. </p> <p>Our sitter usually takes our eldest to the park after breakfast, then comes back for a light morning snack and a little screen time to cool off, then some quiet play like coloring until lunch. If there's time between lunch and nap there's some outside patio time. Then nap. Then another light snack and playing with toys until dinner. The 1 year old follows the same schedule but I prefer he takes a morning nap for about an hour at some point, which happens while the toddler is having screentime and coloring before lunch. </p> <p>I think the key is to not be visibly around. My husband is on calls all day so we can hear him but that doesn't bug the kids. It's more when they see him and don't get to talk to him they get weird. Creating regular times to talk to him really helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745682 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 12:12:30 +0000 PawPrints 2745682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had to work from one a couple of times when DD was sick and MIL/FIL came over to care for her. I had to shut myself into my bedroom since my office would have been accessible to her. Even then it was really distracting - tough for me not to interact with her when I was taking a break, tough for her to know I was right there, and every time she saw me she was so hopeful I was "all done." For me, I would hate this and would really strongly prefer daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745678 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 12:06:08 +0000 sauerkraut 2745678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WAH two days a week with a nanny watching my baby and my 3 year old niece at my house. For me, having a door I can shut is absolutely necessary to keep the kids from coming in and wanting to play/nurse/be held. I even try to wait till they're asleep or outside to get lunch or go to the bathroom, because the second they see me they're all over me and want to follow me into the office. My nanny's pretty great about distracting them and letting me get work done, but I still need the door. So, yeah, your setup would never work for me.<br /> I pay the nanny exactly the same as I would if I were not at home. She says (and I believe her) that her job is more difficult with me there because she needs to run interference on the kids disturbing my work and they're occasionally less well behaved when I'm around - like asking me for something she says they can't have or trying to get away from her to find me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745677 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 12:05:28 +0000 Bluebonnet 2745677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WFH. Our kids are in full time preschool now, but for a year we had a nanny while I WFH and both kids were home with the nanny.</p> <p>From my experience, I had to stay completely out of sight because my kids wanted to be with me when they saw me. I'd occasionally eat lunch with the kids, but mostly stayed out of sight. If the kids could see me, they wanted to give me a hug, or tell me something, etc and it was hard for me to get work done.</p> <p>If you are on conference calls a lot, your office location may be a challenge because its close to spaces the kids (and nanny) will presumably be using often, and noise from your kids will be heard when you are on the phone.</p> <p>ETA - We didn't offer a reduced rate because we were home (because we weren't really available to watch the kids while working). We were able to offer a degree of flexibility because we were home (nanny occasionally needed to run to the bank or whatever during nap time). I'd also send her home early if I was logging off early (but we'd still pay a guaranteed amount). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745675 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 11:54:35 +0000 winniebee 2745675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WAH mostly and having the kids at home worked out fine for a period of time. I started when DS1 was 3.4 and went to school 2 days a week. He was old enough to understand that he could not interrupt me. DS2 was 9 months when we got the nanny and he started going to school 3 days when he was 21 months. At first it was great b/c I was still nursing so didn't need to pump. As a toddler, it worked fine for DS2 and for the most part he didn't interrupt me except a few times a day when nanny knew it would be ok (after lunch or after an outing). HOWEVER, when we stopped using a nanny and he was in school more after age 2, the days when we did have him home with a sitter he interrupted me all day. My office is right off the family room with french doors so I'm clearly seen. We are getting a nanny again for the fall b/c of new baby but the older kids will be in school 5 days. </p> <p>I don't think you can offer to pay a reduced rate b/c you are home....since you don't want to help with child care during work hours or for them to interrupt you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745671 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 11:52:12 +0000 hellobeeboston 2745671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: I usually WFH only one day a week, I'm in an office the other days, and that one day I'm home is tough for my older son because he knows I'm there, and is always interrupting I usually end up at the library for a majority of the day. It might be different if I was there all the time though and we set the boundaries. I'm sure it would be an adjustment but they'd get used to it. The hardest part would be if I ran down to get a drink or lunch and i would end up visiting for way too long! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745635 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 10:27:37 +0000 jape14 2745635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: our house has a similar setup to yours I think (dining room where I set up shop when I WAH that is open to kitchen on one side and main hallway on other) and it's a pain to work there if our nanny share is at my house. It's definitely more of a pain for the nanny than for the WAH parent. I agree with @Truth Bombs: that to make it work regularly, you probably need to relocate the office to the basement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745622 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 10:09:38 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2745622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't WAH but I did take classes and have days where DH or MIL watched dd (for online work and hw) and it was really difficult. She would even break away and run up the stairs to get to me. Only quiet when she was at the park. Our place was small though. But between that and usually a nanny costing more I think I'd stick with daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745618 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 10:02:50 +0000 looch 2745618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: Then yeah, I would think you need to move to the basement, or put up doors. Maybe French doors, and then do a roman shade over the glass? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745615 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 09:53:30 +0000 runnerd 2745615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: our office is in the would-be formal dining without doors on the entrances from kitchen or living room :) the basement has windows, and is nicely finished but I still don't really want to spend all day in the basement, ha!</p> <p>@Anagram: all good points, Thanks! We are in suburban area so it would probably take awhile to feel comfortable with having the kids driven around to activities. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745609 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 09:42:28 +0000 Anagram 2745609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>BTW--our nanny tries SO HARD to be "out of the way" when my husband works from home, that she will sometimes go sit in our girls room while our youngest is sleeping--and just read her phone in the dark! We've told her she's welcome to just hang in the living room, but I guess she feels awkward. Most nannies will feel awkward just hanging around while you two are home, even if it's well deserved break time while the kids are sleeping.</p> <p>So I would make a plan with your husband now to let her know expectations up front--like, if kids are asleep, you know it's her lunch/break time and you don't expect her to be doing anything except eating her lunch and taking a break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745607 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 09:40:04 +0000 Anagram 2745607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: It might be different for us, because we live in an urban (walkable) neighborhood, but we only live in a 2 bedroom condo with no dedicated office space, and my husband works from home 3-4 days a month with our nanny there and it's fine.</p> <p>HOWEVER, what makes it work is that even when we aren't there, our nanny leaves the house at 8:15 am with both girls to drop off LO1 at school, and she typically doesn't come back until 11 am for LO2's lunch. Then she puts her to nap until around 1:30-2:00, then wakes her up, diaper change, packs snacks and is back out to pick up LO1 from school. If weather is good, then they go to the parks and get home just before I get home at 4:15.</p> <p>If weather is bad, they go to our community room in our building to play with the other nannies and their charges. </p> <p>Our nanny has a weekly schedule that she follows with classes around town. Tuesdays are library story time, Thursdays are museum story time. M, W, F she has standing play dates with other nannies and their kids and they will all be outside at parks or inside the community room. If other special events are happening, then they go there (our town has a good amount of free events that happen all the time--yesterday, there was a free Zumba-for-babies class in a park).</p> <p>So they are basically never home, and we're okay with that after employing our nanny for 1.5 years and totally trusting her.</p> <p>I think having a nanny while you both work at home can totally work, but you should know that a nanny doesn't want to be in your space any more than you want her to be in your space while working. Think of it from the nanny perspective--it's MUCH HARDER to get kids to listen to you when their parents are there. And it's confusing for the kids--why shouldn't they go to mommy/daddy when they know they are just behind that door? And it's awkward to have your boss there, at all times, watching you. So it's really easiest if from the beginning the nanny has a very full schedule of classes/places to go. Library story hour, My Gym, whatever. Out of the house, and out of your hair. And the basement should be set up as a playroom, so the kids are downstairs on a different floor.</p> <p>And I would not expect any kind of discount from you being at home, unless her job duties change. Like...will you be co-watching the kids, or will you be doing the cleaning up/preparing meals/kid related chores since you WFH? If not, then the pay rate should be the same as if you are out of the house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745606 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 09:34:15 +0000 looch 2745606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I don't see why having the office in between the living room and kitchen doesn't work...as long as it has a door you can fully shut and the kids can't see into it, is it an alcove or something?</p> <p>What's your basement like...I can't imagine working in a basement unless it's got a ton of natural light. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745605 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 09:31:26 +0000 runnerd 2745605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: yea I think I'm avoiding reality by trying to believe we wouldn't need to move our office </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745578 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 09:08:37 +0000 Truth Bombs 2745578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: We don't have a nanny, but my husband and I both sometimes have to do work from home while the other one watches the kids. Our office is off of our foyer and even then it's impossible for the kids to restrain themselves from barging in. So, we always go up to our 3rd floor bonus room where are 100% out of sight of the kids. If our office was in between the kitchen and the living room this would be impossible (for us anyway). The person working wouldn't be able to accomplish anything and the nanny would be spending her whole day trying to distract the kids from bothering mom and dad. So if you want to do this, I would move the office to the basement where you are out of sight and just not interact with the kids at all (and pay the regular expected rate to your nanny). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745569 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 09:01:00 +0000 runnerd 2745569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are considering restructuring the boys daycare situation to have a part-time nanny 2 days a week, and continue sending to daycare 3 days a week.</p> <p>We both work full-time at home. If you had a nanny and work at home, how did it go? How did you get your kids not to interrupt you the whole time? Did your nanny take the kids on outings? </p> <p>Our office is currently in room between living room and kitchen and hope we don't have to, but could move it to the basement.</p> <p>Also, did you pay a lower rate because you are both available/around? </p>