https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 18 May 2026 21:41:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2051438 Mon, 02 Feb 2015 20:45:56 +0000 MenagerieMama 2051438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: @Synchronicity: Thanks! Stay tuned for a post on the logistics of having a regular nanny, I don't know what to do! ha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2051437 Mon, 02 Feb 2015 20:45:46 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2051437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MenagerieMama: I'm so glad to hear the new baby is working out so far! What a relief it must be for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2051429 Mon, 02 Feb 2015 20:42:00 +0000 Synchronicity 2051429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MenagerieMama: Woohoo! Haha I really hope this one works out for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2051428 Mon, 02 Feb 2015 20:40:24 +0000 littlejoy 2051428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So glad to hear!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2051426 Mon, 02 Feb 2015 20:38:05 +0000 MenagerieMama 2051426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pumpkin Pie: Thanks for asking, yes! So last week we had 3 different temp nannies, and surprisingly they all went pretty well. All 3 of them were also moms so I think that helped :) And we had our permanent placement nanny start today and we love her! LO fussed when I left but then calmed down. Her naps were a little off and shorter than they are for us, but she still went down for them. And the nanny cleaned up the kitchen and tidied the living room during nap time so coming home to a house cleaner than I left it was also a miracle in and of itself. So far so good! Man that was a rough few weeks though, I think I'm scarred for a good while! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2051027 Mon, 02 Feb 2015 16:08:33 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2051027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MenagerieMama: how's it going! Have you found someone for your LO? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039467 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 12:08:39 +0000 Chuckles 2039467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really hope this next nanny is the one who hangs in there! Transitions are hard for all kids, and a very good caregiver should be able to handle it. My son went to daycare a few days a week in December. For the first 2 weeks, every single day he cried so hard at the beginning that he threw up. The daycare teachers were like, no big deal, it happens all the time. Even if it really doesn't, they were so confident in their ability to deal with his crying, it made me feel okay about leaving him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039464 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 12:03:47 +0000 lamariniere 2039464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Transitions can be tough, even for the youngest babies (when you think separation anxiety shouldn't be an issue at that age). I started working part time when LO2 was 4.5 months and her first few weeks with the babysitter were very rough. Lots of crying and lots of clingyness when she was with me. Even now at almost 14 months we are having issues with the transition to daycare. DD started at the beginning of January, but still WAILS when I drop her off. It is slowly getting better and I have complete faith in her caregivers, but it takes time. On the other hand, my brother's daughter who is a few months younger than my LO goes very easily to new people with no problems! Some babies are just a lot more sensative to change and new people than others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039460 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 11:56:07 +0000 Synchronicity 2039460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MenagerieMama: I'm really sorry that you are having so much trouble with this! I'm getting the impression that because they are with an agency, and it's probably much easier to find jobs, they can be lazy and bail out of any situation that isn't absolutely ideal. I really hope this next nanny is the one! What a tough situation to be in, and poor kiddo :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039449 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 11:43:05 +0000 MenagerieMama 2039449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: I know. I really can't even comprehend what the issue is. Especially the last nanny they sent us who supposedly was understanding that my LO was crying all the time with this transition (which is why nanny #2 left). It's just caused us so much stress it's unbelievable. We really like the person we interviewed (through this agency) and she can start next week. But if she doesn't work out I think we're done. We'd gone with this agency because they take care of all the taxes, and have emergency backup care (which is useful when both of us work in healthcare and have no local support network), and seemed great. So far it seems like their nannies only want to play with happy babies though... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039444 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 11:33:29 +0000 Synchronicity 2039444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What on earth?! I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how a nanny is not able to handle a baby crying for a few hours while they adjust.... this is totally normal behaviour! I dealt with it for weeks, and sure, it sucked at the time, but the kiddo loves me now (and the feeling is very mutual!). Have you tried something like care.com to find a nanny yourself, outside of the agency? It seems like the nannies they are sending you are not very experienced, or just completely unwilling to push through the tough parts.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039280 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 00:28:20 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2039280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In so sorry you have to go through this. It sounds so hard. I did hear that there is an adjustment period even for really young babies, so I think it'll get better if the nannies would just be patient and stick it through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039267 Sun, 25 Jan 2015 00:03:24 +0000 brownie 2039267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is she only this distressed with the nanny? My son cried every day for 12-15 hours straight every day until he was about 5 months old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039263 Sat, 24 Jan 2015 23:56:13 +0000 jhd 2039263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MenagerieMama: I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. No advice, but I hope things get better soon! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039261 Sat, 24 Jan 2015 23:52:59 +0000 Mrs. Cookie 2039261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MenagerieMama: Oh no, sorry to hear that! I really hope your nanny luck changes soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2039257 Sat, 24 Jan 2015 23:50:40 +0000 MenagerieMama 2039257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The third temp nanny just fired us! She worked in a nursery and grew up with 4 younger sibs and couldn't handle LO crying for 3 hrs (she even napped in the middle) and so she won't come back. We have one more week until the permanent nanny can start (and if she quits on us we're firing the agency and just sucking up living with my mother and flying her over her to stay with us) and we might have to use a new temp for each of my 3 work shifts because it's so last minute. I just feel horrible and like this agency is not delivering what they have promised! This is only making it worse on my poor LO and I cried all the way home after I found out that this 3rd nanny won't come back. Argh! I just needed to vent. Apparently moving away from all our friends and family when we had our first baby was a bad plan. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2037202 Fri, 23 Jan 2015 10:00:32 +0000 MenagerieMama 2037202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! Hopefully this third temp nanny is the charm for us while we wait on our permanent placement :) And for what it's worth, we reviewed our nanny cam today and my LO barely cried at all for the first hour or two (admittedly wasn't cheerful, but just chill - she did have her in front of the TV which we don't allow but this seemed like a reasonable exception) and then really just ramped it up when the nanny couldn't get her down for a nap (didn't try for long though, we haven't gotten the cam up in the nursery so I couldn't see how that went) and then was so so tired so got super fussy near the end of the 4 hours she was here watching her. But she took a bottle! Which is a first with a nanny. So this issue was more of the nanny coping - but I'm glad she at least recognized she couldn't handle it. I'm terrified of someone shaking LO because they're frustrated, so each nanny has gotten a big speech on how to safely give themselves space if LO is getting to be too much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2037194 Fri, 23 Jan 2015 09:55:38 +0000 Mrs. Cookie 2037194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Green Grass: That's awesome! So funny how third time really is the charm in many cases! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2037116 Fri, 23 Jan 2015 09:11:32 +0000 edelweiss 2037116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we use a center daycare, but i remember there was a girl in the infant room who cried/whined almost all the time (unless she was being held). she did this for weeks, maybe months. the teachers rolled with it--i don't think it was the first time they'd had a baby do that. the baby is now almost 2 and in the toddler room, and happy as clam. all that to say no, i don't think you'r scarring your LO for life! but i'm sorry it's been rough and hope you find a great nanny soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2036896 Fri, 23 Jan 2015 00:13:55 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2036896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@princessandthebee: we are on our third (although #2 moved cross-country) and she's fantastic!!</p> <p>Good luck with finding a permanent nanny! I think watching the nanny can would make it a lot harder! Maybe someone else can check it for you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2036867 Thu, 22 Jan 2015 23:06:11 +0000 Mrs. Cookie 2036867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a nanny for almost six years and now that we live far apart I still see my kiddos every few months! We have a great relationship and being helped me so much as a mom. All this to say once you find "the one" this all become a distant memory!</p> <p>Also, my former boss had a rule of three. But not by choice! It just worked out that way. She did a nanny share before me, and it was the third girl that stuck... for five years. When she left, my former boss tried again, and I was the third girl she hired AGAIN, and I stuck for six years! It's all meant to be, you will find who is right for your family! Hugs!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2036864 Thu, 22 Jan 2015 23:02:17 +0000 raintreebee 2036864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry you are going through this. It took our nanny and baby a few weeks to adjust to one another. I was working at home during the transition so that made things a bit easier. But it was definitely rough for a little while and now they love each other. You will find someone who is willing to put in the time and has the confidence to make the transition work. Hiring a nanny with experience, I think, is they key. Otherwise they may not have the confidence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2036856 Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:52:28 +0000 MenagerieMama 2036856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: thanks for commenting, that helps. We do only have a nanny part time and my DH thought that was part of the problem so I'm glad to hear that could be right! I'm willing to get through the adjustment period if we can find a nanny that will - it is just so draining on everyone. So there may be light at the end of the tunnel! I keep worrying about someone shaking my LO though :( I guess I should be glad this last nanny realized when she couldn't take it anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2036822 Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:15:24 +0000 Synchronicity 2036822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For what it's worth, when I started my current nanny job it took the baby weeks to adjust to me... There were lots of tears shed! I think part of the reason it took so long was because I was very part time to start, but still, it was not a quick transition by any means. We saw it through though and things are wonderful now; I've been with them for just over a year! I hope you find someone who clicks with your family and is willing to work through the initial adjustment with your LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2036810 Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:05:02 +0000 kentuckygirl 2036810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry :( No experience but wishing you good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-woes#post-2036803 Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:01:22 +0000 MenagerieMama 2036803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have had a really rough 2 weeks with our start of nanny care. Thank goodness we hired through an agency because we fired our first nanny (found out she smoked, and LO cried constantly) and then our second nanny just fired us because LO was still crying constantly and the nanny couldn't handle it. So we have a 3rd sub nanny coming tomorrow and we're interviewing for a new permanent one this weekend but she couldn't start for another couple weeks. This is so stressful! I had to stop checking the nanny cam at work because hearing LO cry was making me cry. I spent my pumping break crying. LO is happy once we're home, albeit a bit dehydrated and tired, but her routine with us hasn't been affected. </p> <p>Someone tell me I'm not a bad mother and LO won't be in counseling for years for this! She's only 3.5 mo, no idea why she has such separation anxiety. And of course she really needs to get to know one person and cycling through all these different nannies is only making it worse. Ugh. I feel like I can physically feel my hair turning grey! Her grandparents watched her without issues when I first went back to work, but they're all back on the opposite coast now and we know no one local. I looked into last minute tickets to fly my mom back out but they were almost $700 even with flexible dates. </p> <p>Sigh. Just needed to vent. Thanks bees! Anyone else with nanny issues that ended up with a happy ending? We need our Mary Poppins!! </p>