https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 01:48:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannymothers-helpernight-nurse-oh-my#post-2800868 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 14:04:43 +0000 SweetiePie 2800868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi! So I can comment on what we did for DS1 and what our plan is for DS2. </p> <p>For DS1, I initially declined all help. I live in NYC where it is EXTREMELY common to get a baby/night nurse for at least the first couple of weeks home with baby and often much longer (months). I’m not from here so I thought that was ridiculous. Not taking into account that my family isn’t close by.<br /> Well, I started deteriorating mentally in the hospital after a long difficult labor with little to no sleep (thanks, nyc hospitals that make moms share rooms with each other!)<br /> From the hospital my husband called a Post Partum Doula that a friend of ours had recommended and he thankfully kept! It was nice but she only came maybe 3 or so hours a day a couple of days a week. So...let’s say 6-10 hours a week max. And she was $50/hr (not cheap!). Oh I should add that my family is a plane ride away and my MIL is annoying AF and lives 1.5 hour drive away so I really didn’t want her around a ton. It would have hurt, not helped. </p> <p>Anyway, after another week or so of not really sleeping at night, we realized just how sensitive I am to sleep deprivation. My PPD was spiraling out of control. So we called a baby/night nurse that a friend had used for their first 2 babies. She was available nights only 3-5 nights a week, depending on the week (ie she had other things booked so she would come to us the nights she was free). She came 6pm - 7am a few nights a week for what ended up being 4 months. It was expensive but worth it. I still suffered from PPD for the entire first year (as we failed to realize that’s what it was) but it was IMMENSELY better since I was getting a few nights a week of solid sleep. Also, date nights. I was home with a newborn all day and losing my mind. So knowing that at 6pm the nurse would arrive and DH would get home from work was huge. DH and I got out of the apt every night she was there. For a walk, dinner, a drink, whatever. It just helped so much to feel normal and have some 1-1 time with him. We still struggled a lot in the first year but those nights it didn’t seem so bad. </p> <p>Lastly, around 6/7 weeks I hired a daytime nanny 2 days a week. My husband insisted that I get a couple of days to go do whatever I wanted that wasn’t baby related. Don’t get me wrong - it was sweet but he wasn’t being sweet. Haha. He was like “wtf you are a wreck let’s get help”. Again, ppd/ppa undiagnosed for almost a year. But that also really helped. I joined a new moms group since I had childcare and eventually did end up going to therapy and had I not had that 2 days a week I could depend on, my mental state would have been a heck of a lot worse.<br /> I got rid of the nanny at 2years PP but I really could have been ok without her sooner. But it was nice to have and once DS started preschool for a couple hours each morning it was enough “me” time to not be able to justify her anymore. Also, she started annoying me. Haha. As you can see from some of my old posts. </p> <p>My MIL now comes 1 full day every week and as much as she annoys me, i truly appreciate it. Especially now since I’m 33 weeks pregnant and physically miserable. </p> <p>So, new baby due in March....let’s just say that the baby nurse mentioned above was the 3rd person to know I was pregnant! Right after me and DH :silly: My husband said that we aren’t messing around this time, we got 24 hour baby nurse for 2 months. Which seems like a lot BUT the difference in cost for night vs 24 hour is like $50/day. It made much more sense to tie her down for 24 hour since 1) it doesn’t cost much more 2) I can always cut her loose for the day ignore it becomes too much (I’m an introvert) and she will take my lead on involvement 3) I don’t have any other help and I do have 2 kids now - my older one is in preschool still so I wanted to be able to walk him to school each morning and pick him up without making the baby go in and out multiple times a day.<br /> Also, mental health. DH and I are in an incredible place right now and we just cannot fathom going back to where we were before. And if spending some money for solid sleep and sanity for a couple of months will help, we’ll do it. Oh and she is only there for the first two wknds. So after that we will have weekends alone as a family and I’ll get the experience of night feedings that I was afraid to completely miss. But Sun - Fri night I’ll get a full night of sleep. Oh and I am probably going to FF this time or at least FF overnight so I won’t even have to wake for feedings. If I was BF I would really reconsider if I needed her at night. </p> <p>Forgot to add that I have a one-off Sitter for the daytime that I use when I need it (a doc appt or whatever). She’s not scheduled regularly I just ask if she’s available. So that’s one option when baby is here and baby nurse is gone. I might bring the Sitter in one or two days a week to entertain the 3.5yo or do schoool Pickup or whatever. </p> <p>Eventually I MAY consider a 2 day per week nanny again but we just aren’t sure where we’ll be that far from now (DH work) so I’m not making any plans. I do also plan to eventually go back to work so if I did the nanny would convert to full time. So that is an incentive to get one part time (so I’m comfortable leaving them with her). </p> <p>I feel like this was a ton and all over the place but hopefully it helps! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannymothers-helpernight-nurse-oh-my#post-2800848 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 12:53:33 +0000 jennlin821 2800848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't get a chance to read the other responses, so I'm sorry if this repeats anything someone else said. </p> <p>I would suggest starting with a night nurse - I do not have experience with them, but my mother was our 'night nurse' for the first two weeks and it was great. To clarify, I went to bed, and my mother was in charge of taking care of the baby 100% - I EBF, so mom would bring her in to eat, about every two hours and then I would go right back to sleep. Mom would change diapers, soothe, snuggle, etc. I was still being woken every two hours, but in between I could truly sleep.<br /> I think a night nurse does the same thing.<br /> So I would look into that. Then after a while (two weeks? a month?) maybe then use that money for something else. Nanny? Housekeeper or cleaner? Mothers helper? </p> <p>I guess I would start with what you think you would need help with. I have high sleep needs, so sleep was my #1 thing. </p> <p>Good luck and keep us posted! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannymothers-helpernight-nurse-oh-my#post-2800838 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 12:32:07 +0000 LBee 2800838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@math.nerd: I'm in the South. We pay her $17 per hour. </p> <p>Full disclosure, being a household employer full time is not a delight. I vastly preferred when it was just 2 days a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannymothers-helpernight-nurse-oh-my#post-2800834 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 12:27:50 +0000 Littlebit7 2800834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@math.nerd: maybe while you are on mat leave you could hire nanny to do drop off/pick up for your older kiddo and also watch the baby a few hours a day too so you get your own time. Or find some one part time and then transition to FT once you go back to work. A nanny would ease a lot of burdens: household chores, cleaning, some cooking and pickup/drop off as long as you are clear up front what the expectations are. If LA is lie nyc you could expect to pay anywhere from 18-25 per hour for two kids plus two weeks vacation, 5ish sick days, and a bonus (typically one weeks pay). </p> <p>Also, consider hiring a postpartum doula. They take care of YOU first and baby second. But they also aren’t totally in your face...you could do a few hours a few days a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannymothers-helpernight-nurse-oh-my#post-2800829 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 12:20:21 +0000 math.nerd 2800829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: Thanks for sharing! I can't IMAGINE if my husband was gone that much. I've been told about a night nurse too - but I intend to BF too (it went relatively easily with my son, so fingers crossed), so I don't know if it would be the most effective use of our dollars.</p> <p>And congrats on the new member of your family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannymothers-helpernight-nurse-oh-my#post-2800826 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 12:16:12 +0000 math.nerd 2800826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: Thanks for this! My son is in preschool all day every day (he's 4) and I'm sure we'll keep him there once baby comes. </p> <p>I think I'm just trying to figure out what kind of help I'll need/want/accept after baby comes while I'm at home and after I go back to work. I know it's going to cost a fortune, but for the sake of my mental health, it'll be necessary.</p> <p>Do you mind if I ask how much your full time nanny costs? And where you live? I'm in LA and I know the cost will be high - but I'm thinking that's the kind of help I'll benefit most from before number 2 goes to preschool too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannymothers-helpernight-nurse-oh-my#post-2800821 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 12:05:37 +0000 Littlebit7 2800821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine reads pretty similarly to LBee above<br /> I have about a 2.5 year age gap, almost 2.75. My son was born about a month ago. When my first was born, my husband was working longer hours but he was home overnight, my mom came for about 1.5 weeks, MIL for about 1. week. I started with some help around 4 months so I could go back to work very part time and also get some me time.</p> <p>With number 2, we started a 2.5s program for LO1 when I was about 5 months pregnant 2 days a week for 3 hours a day. When I was about 9 months I upped that to 4 hours a day and they provide lunch so I don't have to. I also still have that same part time nanny between 4-10 hours 2 days a week (I stopped working at 9 months pregnant). I've since kept her on; she takes LO1 out 1-2 days a week for a few hours a day. That really helps. OH and important: my husband has been traveling out of the country since last june basically Sun-Fri so I solo parent.</p> <p>I have a housecleaner 2x/month @$90 per visit. I get groceries delivered and they also provide ready-made meals (Fresh Direct).</p> <p>I delivered my son about a month ago. My husband restarted traveling internationally Sun-Friday about 2 weeks ago which will continue for the foreseeable future.<br /> After delivery, my husband was home a week, my mom was here for 1.5 weeks, my MIL for 5 days.<br /> I considered a night nurse...but I'm BF..so I don't know how much it would help. So now I'm in the thick of it solo parenting but the biggest help is getting LO1 out of the house. I can handle LO2 (its easy-ish actually!)</p> <p>I probably won't go back to work. With DH gone as much as he is...it just doesn't make sense now. All of this is expensive; I pay the nanny $20 an hour bc I don't guarantee hours and she is super flexible. The 2.5s program is probably $15ish an hour and its for a full school year. I'm going to sign her up for three days of summer camp (half days) which is about the same hourly. The school is about 7 blocks from us (easy walk).</p> <p>Phew, that was a lot and probably reads pretty jumbled but at time this feels pretty jumbled! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannymothers-helpernight-nurse-oh-my#post-2800807 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 11:17:55 +0000 LBee 2800807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats! </p> <p>The first time around my mom was my big help, but due to some weird life circumstances she couldn't serve a large role with LO #2. </p> <p>What does your childcare look like right now? The biggest help with my leave with LO #2 was keeping things the same for him. He had a mix of a nanny share 2 days a week and MDO 3 days a week. The MDO days worked out the best for us because I would drop him at school then focus on the baby (or myself) for 3.5 hours. He would go down for nap immediately after school and take a nice long nap. It was nice knowing he was getting tons of stimulation at school and in terms of cost, MDO is pretty cost-effective (especially considering the alternatives). We pay $305 / month for 3 days a week. </p> <p>When I went back to work LO2 got a full time nanny that also helps with LO1 (getting him to school, etc). This was not the original plan, but a second set of odd circumstances occurred and we decided not to go forward with our original plan. It is very expensive, but it works for our family right now. </p> <p>The only real cons of our situation was drop-off sometimes happened during LO2's nap and that was annoying. Other than that, I would have been perfectly fine just having a MDO situation 9 AM - 1 PM a few days a week during maternity leave. The nanny was convenient for keeping his life the same, but wasn't necessary and sometimes I didn't even bring him. The only other consideration you have with not bringing like a mother's helper in is germs, depending on when you are due. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannymothers-helpernight-nurse-oh-my#post-2800797 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 11:03:31 +0000 math.nerd 2800797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello all! </p> <p>I'm only 9 weeks preggo with number 2 but I'm starting to think about the kind of help I'll need when this kiddo arrives. After my son was born, I tried to do everything myself. My husband went back to work right away and my mom would help, but she's older now and I want her to be just Grandma - not nanny.</p> <p>I was very depressed as a new mom and I want to make plans now to do things differently this time. I know that there are many options out there, so I wanted to know...</p> <p>What did you do for help during your maternity leave and if/when you went back to work (I will be going back to work at some point). What did you like about the route you chose? What would you have done differently? How much did it cost (yikes)? </p> <p>Any advice would be appreciated!! Thank you all! </p>