https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 01:18:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-anyone-with-experience-putting-a-family-member-in-assisted-livingnursing-home#post-686245 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 09:22:01 +0000 yoursilverlining 686245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my experience; assisted living and nursing home care are completely different animals. When my grandmother moved into assisted living, it was very easy. Moving her into nursing home care and arranging payment for nursing home care was much, much, much more time consuming. My mom spent hours and hours dealing with everything.</p> <p>You'll need to speak to each facility about their pricing structure. There are different prices based on assets and insurance. For example; because my grandmother had money saved, she was required to pay an out of pocket cash price of over $7k a month for nursing home care (for a shared room, in a not very nice nursing home) until every cent she had was gone; then she was able to get onto state medicare, which reimbursed the nursing home like $4k/month. </p> <p>The state investigated all assets and asset transfers going back 5 years; so she couldn't just gift us $$ (or her home, or condo, or land she owned and had planned to leave to us grandkids) once she was actually in the position of needing nursing home care.</p> <p>You should also speak to a lawyer who specializes in elder care law in the state your FIL lives in; especially if he is closer to needing nursing home care and not just assisted living care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-anyone-with-experience-putting-a-family-member-in-assisted-livingnursing-home#post-686049 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 08:20:57 +0000 T.H.O.U. 686049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Im sorry. Do you know if he medically requires care that would be covered under insurance? </p> <p>I think the act of moving might not be too hard but like you said the financial piece might be hardest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-anyone-with-experience-putting-a-family-member-in-assisted-livingnursing-home#post-677318 Fri, 29 Mar 2013 10:05:56 +0000 thismustbetheplace 677318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH's father (who we have a less-than-stellar relationship with) lives about 1,000 miles away from us. He has chronic health problems and has recently been talking about wanting to go move from his house where he lives by himself, to an assisted living facility or nursing home. We are barely treading water up here financially, and it is simply not feasible for us to take off a month (or more) from work, like he is asking us to do, to go down and help him. None if his Dr's are apparently willing to help refer him to the right people. Over the years he has alienated all of his former friends, and anyone who has tried to help him in the past. He is single and has no family other than DH and myself.</p> <p>I found an elder-care advocacy organization where he lives that I have contacted to see if they can help us figure this situation out. I am a bit worried because they are private pay which means this is going to come out of our pocket, as he is on fixed income only. So I'm hoping something like this isn't too expensive. We are only looking for help finding a good fit, and organizing a place in a facility. When it comes to the actual moving process we will fly down and help him move.</p> <p>Has anyone put a family member into assisted living/a nursing home before? Do you think we could do it without this third party getting involved, even though we are so far away? I have absolutely no idea where to start. How does a person on a fixed income afford to live in one of these places? He has state insurance but he will have essentially $0 until we can sell his house. It is in serious need of repair after he abused it for 15 years, so that could take years to flip. </p> <p>Sorry for the wall of text, I feel like i'm so lost with all of this :( </p>