https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 18:53:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2130112 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 08:17:07 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2130112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: it's totally different here. It's so dry that it feels much cooler than on the East Coast.</p> <p>Our last house didn't even have AC and it was fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2130054 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 07:03:49 +0000 SweetiePie 2130054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read all of the responses so apologies if tbis was already suggested - but I would get one of those fans that can go in the window and point it out instead of in. That way it's taking any stuffy air and blowing it out, and it's also blowing the smoke away from the window.<br /> No idea if it will work in reality, but it works in my mind :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2130048 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 06:54:50 +0000 ElbieKay 2130048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Wow, mid 90s is prime AC weather for me! At least here on the east coast where it gets quite humid too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2129865 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 20:19:10 +0000 meesker 2129865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you get a portable AC unit and run it just in the nursery to minimize the environmental impact and the cost? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2129602 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 14:55:57 +0000 Mrs. J 2129602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ask. Our neighbors have an outdoor movie screen, and we've felt totally comfortable asking them to turn the volume down so we and our baby can sleep. They didn't realize how loud it was, so you'll never know unless you ask! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2129563 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 14:12:11 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2129563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: compared to where I'm from they are fantastic. Usually just a few days over 100 each year. There are about two weeks a year where we need to run AC continuously, but the rest of the time it doesn't get higher than mid 90's... And when it's hot we spend most of our time in the backyard at the pool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2129252 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 10:42:35 +0000 daniellemybelle 2129252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would totally ask. I would fall all over myself being super nice and apologetic, but I would ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2128901 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 00:58:05 +0000 lemondrop 2128901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you don't ask, the answer is always no. I get it, it's an embarrassing situation for all parties, but if I was doing something that irritated my neighbors, I'd rather know so I can make changes. The optimist in me says maybe it will be the jumping off point for quitting and possibly save her life. Many of us prefer to avoid confrontation/ face to face embarrassment, so what about writing it out in a card? Start with something nice, get to the nitty gritty, and end with something nice. They should make Hallmarks for this... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2128895 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 00:30:35 +0000 anonysquire 2128895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I'm still trying to figure out how you get away with not using your AC??? Utah summers are no joke! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/3#post-2128822 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 21:03:04 +0000 sunshineandsushi 2128822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: as I was reading your post, I thought you were talking about the plot to the movie Neighbors, haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128730 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:33:39 +0000 GreenThumb 2128730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did ask my neighbors to stop smoking on their back deck (which adjoined ours) when LO was an infant because it would waft into our kitchen, our bedroom, and her nursery. I didn't really know them, other than to politely wave, but I walked over with LO in my arms and ran the doorbell. I just explained that I could smell smoke in my house and that I was hoping they could smoke on their front porch instead. They totally obliged and had no idea that I could smell it in my house. I definitely think it is reasonable to have a conversation about it with your neighbor. She may be more than willing to make a change without a fuss once she realizes that there is an issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128719 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:23:32 +0000 hilsy85 2128719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: ah gotcha! makes sense..although honestly, my answer in the situation would be the same even if your reasoning was as simple as you didn't want to spend a little money! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128715 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:18:12 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2128715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: ha ha ha :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128712 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:12:18 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2128712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: oh I meant my reasons for opening the windows which were 1) better for the environment to not run AC 2) temperate climate that otherwise doesn't require AC (except for a few weeks a year) 3) major financial burden due to old insulation... But catmodo said that I didn't want to turn on the AC because I didn't want to spend a little money... Which is true (I am frugal), but not even half the story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128710 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:09:22 +0000 looch 2128710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Life experience has taught me that you have to speak up and say what is on your mind. There are also different ways to frame your request. If I don't, shame on me for not saying anything and then being surprised at the action or non-action.</p> <p>I don't think it is surprising at all that people come to different conclusions on how to solve a problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128709 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:09:19 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2128709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: you win the internet for the Daniel Tiger reference for adult problem solving! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128695 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:40:26 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2128695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: @hilsy85: I arrived at my answer because Daniel Tiger teaches us to Use Your Words.</p> <p>Our neighbors to the right throw these amazing parties. The kinds of parties I wish I was invited to, until we had kids. Or, until they started setting off fire works and a shell landed on my car. I kind of forgave them for that because their parties looked like *so much fun* but they were college kids and I'm the old lady next door, so I didn't want to be a creeper and crash. </p> <p>And then we had kids. Well, Chloe. And the 2am crazy music making my windows shake just wouldn't work for us anymore. Their pool &amp; deck is closest to our house and even closer to our bedroom windows, so there really wasn't any solution for us other than asking them to turn it down.</p> <p>Guess what? They did. No one threw a fit. No one gave us the middle finger or called us losers. They turned the music down and had a quieter party. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128683 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:28:13 +0000 hilsy85 2128683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I think you said that you didn't want to stress her out further due to her already stressful life circumstances, and you want to respect her autonomy? I guess I don't see how asking if she'd be willing to smoke on the other side of the porch/another part of the yard would a) stress her out further (she either says yes or no, I don't think it's going to driver her into a spiral of depression or self hatred over the fact that she smokes), or b) imply that you are telling her what to do on her own property, since you would ideally phrase it as a request, one that she of course has the right to refuse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128668 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:15:27 +0000 Maysprout 2128668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH was burning something that was smokey in our firepit and it was a windy day and our neighbors asked if we could move the pit a bit so it didn't go into their wiffle ball game. Im glad they said something if it was bothering them and it wasn't a big deal to move it to a diff part of the patio. At our old house lots of neighbors smoked and even the Ahole ones were conscientious about when Los were outside around them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128643 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:57:52 +0000 jedeve 2128643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: @hilsy85: interesting because we are in the same situation with smoking neighbors and our babies' rooms. We haven't asked them to stop/move because it's a different situation. But I hate the fact that we have to pay for something that's bad for the environment, and bad for air quality because our neighbors want to smoke. </p> <p>Like if they wanted to play loud music till 3am, would it be our responsibility to sound proof our house? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128629 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:44:03 +0000 NovBaby1112 2128629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with everyone saying what harm is there in asking nicely. She honestly probably has no idea it's going in the nursey and I feel like this is just being over thinked. I wouldn't hesitate to ask nicely and politely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128618 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:32:50 +0000 sunshineandsushi 2128618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably want to figure out a way to say something. BUT DH would tell me I'm being ridiculous and it's their right to do what they want on their property, we would have to deal with it within ways that we can control. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128602 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:24:56 +0000 WinterBee 2128602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Lol, no worries!<br /> Not having neighbours is the best! I get to walk around naked all the time. Lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128593 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:18:24 +0000 hilsy85 2128593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@WinterBee: right I guess I just meant that your perspective on dealing with neighbors would be different since you don't really HAVE neighbors :) I didn't mean to brush off your comment, more that your comment WOULD be hypothetical since it seems like you don't deal with any situations like these. Not that it gives your view less weight! Sorry if I came off differently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128581 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:03:23 +0000 WinterBee 2128581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Yes... which would explain my reason behind what I would do in said hypothetical situation.<br /> Everyone's opinions will vary based on their current/past living situations. Seeing as mine is that of solitude my instinct is to figure it out on my own. It's not a better or worse solution... it's just different.<br /> But, like I said, if the relationship is good, she could most definitely ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128580 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:00:34 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2128580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: it's really not *just* that... Hope others can see that it is more than that. In fact I gave three reasons... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128577 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 16:59:47 +0000 Andrea 2128577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, she can smoke on her property, but I would have a conversation with her since the smoke (smell) is coming into YOUR house. I would try a few easy options first, like running a fan, and then ask her if those do not work. If she says no, then I would suck it up and do the more expensive A/C option or whatever else it takes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128575 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 16:58:45 +0000 hilsy85 2128575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@WinterBee: right...I guess it's just a completely different situation though, since you don't have neighbors, for all intense and purposes, and she does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128572 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 16:57:51 +0000 WinterBee 2128572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: There is no one around me. Farmers fields and water. That's why I live here. I'm not saying I would be offended, nor am I saying I wouldn't not be. It would depend on the situation.<br /> I was giving OP background as to my answer of her question as she was curious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-neighbor/page/2#post-2128559 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 16:44:53 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2128559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since you know her I'd ask nicely if she'd move to the other side of the porch. If she says yes, great! Maybe take her a small gift. If she says no then I would just drop it and keep the window closed. </p>