https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 29 Jun 2026 08:42:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-75022 Wed, 15 Feb 2012 08:38:17 +0000 Adira 75022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Witz: Thanks! Looks like a good article! I'm going to read it right now. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-74800 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:43:25 +0000 Witz 74800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: it sounds like you've already figure out how to proceed, but I thought you might find this article interesting, as it talks about different types of friends and "breaking up" with friends: </p> <p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/fashion/its-not-me-its-you-how-to-end-a-friendship.html?_r=2&#038;smid=fb-nytimes&#038;WT.mc_id=ST-E-FB-SM-LIN-INM-013012-NYT-NA&#038;WT.mc_ev=click" rel="nofollow">http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/fashion/its-not-me-its-you-how-to-end-a-friendship.html?_r=2&#038;smid=fb-nytimes&#038;WT.mc_id=ST-E-FB-SM-LIN-INM-013012-NYT-NA&#038;WT.mc_ev=click</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-74790 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:12:07 +0000 Adira 74790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for your advice!</p> <p>I almost decided to just throw down the towel with this relationship but... then I remembered how we used to talk about our kids growing up together and doing playdates and stuff like that and I got really sad at the thought of not having that.</p> <p>So I'm going to try to rekindle the friendship and see what happens! Hopefully she has matured this past year and won't start playing the guilt-trip again when I make plans without her, but I guess we'll see.</p> <p>Thanks again everyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-74768 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:48:05 +0000 mrsjyw 74768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I lost my MOH/bff abruptly a few months after our wedding in 2010. I never got an explanation and it has been over a year of no contact (I've been ignored in every way, shape, form). I've learned to cope with it, but I would've appreciated a final answer/closure. What you're doing to her right now doesn't sound like much of a friendship anyway, so I say tell her the truth and risk losing the "friendship" you have... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-74216 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:29:30 +0000 Mrsbells 74216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If this is a habit of hers to always make you feel guilty when you cant do things with her then I would just allow the friendship to drift apart. If you miss spending time with her and want to be friends with her then you can work on things and tell her how you feel, but if you dont miss her and are fine with the way things are now then just tell her you're just busy lately </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-74182 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 09:42:56 +0000 heffalump 74182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like you don't really want to be friends with her anymore. I hate confrontation so I'd probably just let the friendship fizzle out by not returning calls... but it would probably be nice to at least tell her why you haven't been hanging out much anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-74176 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 09:35:00 +0000 tequiero21 74176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think you should talk to her. seems weird that you let that one incident cloud your whole friendship though. it's one thing if she was like that consistently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-74169 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 09:15:36 +0000 mrbee 74169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just tell her how you were hurt by her publicly calling you out, and that you've had trouble getting past that. But that you'd like to and aren't sure how to move forward.</p> <p>One thing I've learned is that as you get older, there aren't a lot of people that you share a lifetime of memories with... so each one is precious! That is, assuming the person isn't toxic...</p> <p>Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-74166 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 09:03:16 +0000 Rubies 74166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first and blunt answer is this: yes, we're too old to be playing high school mean girls games. </p> <p>My sensitive and sympathetic answer is: yes, you need to talk to her at the risk of creating more tension or even breaking the friendship. But maybe, just maybe, you can restore the friendship. I think there are a lot of things that have gone unsaid and that assumptions have been made.</p> <p>Honesty is the best policy - I would meet up for a dinner or coffee to just have a good talk about what has happened over the years. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-friendship-advice-estranged-friend#post-74165 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 08:44:30 +0000 Adira 74165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay Bees, I need advice!</p> <p>I have this friend, M, who I used to be best friends with. We were roommates in college, had a lot of the same classes, did homework together, etc. After we graduated, we both got similar jobs at different companies, but in the same city, so we ended up living fairly close. We were each other's Maids of Honor, and our husbands are close as well. We used to get together EVERY weekend.</p> <p>Fast forward to now. Now we're not close at all anymore. I'm not entirely sure why... but I don't feel like we have much in common anymore, even though we probably still have all the same things in common that we used to have. It just feels like our friendship has stalled, and a good part of it is my fault.</p> <p>About a year ago (a little more), M called me out in front of a group of people because my husband and I weren't going to a party they were throwing. She basically threw a fit and insinuated that I was a bad friend for not going, even though I had gone to this annual party every year for ~6 years and this was the FIRST time I was missing it. Ever since then, I've had trouble getting together with her... I guess I'm still bitter?</p> <p>Anyway, ever since then, we really haven't seen each other much, and I even tend to screen her calls. She has the tendency (at least in the past) to try to make me feel guilty whenever I have made plans without her (even though I have other friends and she has other friends she does stuff without me).</p> <p>So, anyway... she e-mailed me today and basically called me out on it. She asked if there was something wrong with us and that she feels like she never sees me anymore (mostly true) and that I don't call her or answer her calls (pretty true) and that she is always the one trying to make plans with me (not entirely true). So now I'm not sure what to do...</p> <p>Should I tell her that yes, there is something wrong with us? I'm worried about creating even more tension and losing her friendship forever. But on the other hand, I'm not sure if I even want to put in the energy to fix the relationship... help? </p>