https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 18:15:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-some-reassurance-please-vent#post-208391 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 08:06:11 +0000 Shimmer 208391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To everyone: Thank you so much for your kind words. I stepped away from the computer for a while last night to gather my thoughts/feelings and try to get some sleep. The sleep part was pretty much a fail, but I feel a little more mentally refreshed regardless! :)</p> <p>@googly-eyes: I'm sorry that you're feeling the same way that I am. My poor DH is probably sick of hearing me relate the same things over and over again, but he's been so good about it! </p> <p>@mrs. wagon: I love what you said (paraphrased) about everyone being alive and relatively happy at the end of the day being a victory. I definitely need to look at things like that... I think it'll really help. The funny thing is, I'm normally fine handling newborns - I used to be an aide in Mother/Baby years ago. I taught new parents how to diaper and bathe their babies, care for the cord and circumcisions, etc. I guess it's different when it's your baby instead of someone elses?</p> <p>@skibobrown: Thank you for the advice on PPD. I hope you're doing better now! I'm working with a therapist right now for my anxiety and he knows one of my worries is PPD and will refer me for medication if necessary. I'm definitely not against it if I need it! And I'm SO lucky that I have a great support system around me. Besides DH, my best friend lives with us for now (temporary situation), my stepmom and dad are at the ready (stepmom raised twins herself!), and our in-laws are 15 minutes away. So I'm definitely not suffering from a lack of available help! I just need to learn how to say "help me!" so I can sleep!</p> <p>@Ms.SK: I have spoken to both of them, but not recently. Susan and I spoke a lot towards the beginning after I found out we were having twins because she said she expected me to get overwhelmed after finding out. I haven't seen either of them recently, just Donna R. She's nice, but I really clicked with Susan and Joann Y. It would be great to get together/talk! I can't imagine how you feel being 2 weeks away from meeting your little ones! I'm a prospective member of the MOMs group in Morris County, and that's been helpful but perhaps I need to be asking more questions! (P.S. How does the wall feature work? I'm not familiar!)</p> <p>@junebuglim: Thank you for the words of advice/encouragement. I'm glad to hear that your relationship with DH stayed pretty much the same - I hope that the strong bond we have now will allow us that experience as well. As for breastfeeding, I'm trying really hard to not place a lot of emphasis on being able to breastfeed - I don't want to set myself up for feelings of failure if I can't do it for some reason. As long as the babies are fed and healthy, that's what matters!</p> <p>@Kemma: Thank you for the words of encouragement! I am a prospective member of a Moms of Multiples group in my area (I can't be a full member until I have the babies). I am going to try to surround myself with as much support as possible! </p> <p>@pastemoo: I'm glad to hear that you're doing well in regards to the baby blues. The person I'm seeing for my anxiety is going to be on the lookout for PPD, as is DH, just in case I can't see it myself. I'll be sure to make time for DH and I. Thank you for the encouragement! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-some-reassurance-please-vent#post-208333 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 03:50:51 +0000 pastemoo 208333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's more stressful anticipating them than handling them. You adjust--and if you're worried about PPD, schedule a few screening/check up appts with a psychiatrist. I had bad baby blues, and went to get seen. I'm doing well now, but getting checked up again in 3 weeks.</p> <p>For being a good mom: it will just happen. For being good with DH--you will work on it constantly, just like you did before babies. Make time for you two and you will be fine. (Even if it's having quick dinner together while lying on the floor and staring at the babies).</p> <p>I still worry about dropping LO. He's 6 weeks and I haven't dropped him, but I still worry.</p> <p>It's going to be OK!<br /> And, the previous ladies have great advice (and experience with twins). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-some-reassurance-please-vent#post-208324 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 02:28:34 +0000 Kemma 208324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no experience with babies, let alone two at once, but I just want to say that you are going to be FANTASTIC once your wee men arrive!</p> <p>I'm not sure what community organisations you have in your area but do you have a local multiple birth club that you could contact for support? We have them in New Zealand and as I understand they're a great source of knowledge and assistance for Mum's with twins etc.</p> <p>The only other advice I could give is to accept any help offered and to keep your chin up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-some-reassurance-please-vent#post-208286 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 00:00:59 +0000 junebuglim 208286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As the other ladies have stated, what you are feeling is SO normal! While excited, I remember feeling quite anxious with the idea of two babies coming at the same time that the first time I saw a pair of twins post finding out I was having two at once- I cried - and they weren't necessarily happy tears - they were "oh my god" tears!</p> <p>As Mrs. Wagon said - one day at a time! The first few weeks with the twins home were the hardest. Who am I kidding? It's still super hard, but it has gotten much better and I keep telling myself that it'll get better and it'll get easier.</p> <p>Before the babies' birth, I had anticipated arguing a lot with my hubs mainly from the stress and the sleepless nights, however on the contrary, it has been very smooth because in the beginning he was the one person who was there around the clock - side by side feeding and changing the babies with me - and truly understood what was going on. </p> <p>With the breastfeeding - I wasn't able to successfully nurse my twins at the breast for a number of reasons - but I have been pumping and supplementing with formula. I think some other twin mamas on HB have successfully breastfed their twins so hopefully you can connect with them regarding this.</p> <p>You can do this! I still feel like a newbie at this twin mama thing or a mama at that, but please feel free to reach out if needed. As MS. SK mentioned, twins need twin friends.. this is something I've learned recently and have been trying to reach out more to mothers of twins. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-some-reassurance-please-vent#post-208175 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:40:28 +0000 Ms.SK 208175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will just say you are in one of the best practices for support. Have you spoken with Joann Y. Or Susan? They literally pulled me up out of the dirt when my last pregnancy was diagnosed as Downs and I miscarried. They both went above and beyond. I'm telling you I called them several times a day when I needed to. I was diagnosed with PPD after this miscarriage (I was 16 weeks so I could get that diagnosis). I have anxiety from this now. I am fortunate that I can take most of my meds with their support.</p> <p>You know I am having twins too, in the next 2 weeks. We can completely get together to battle these humps as a team if you are up for it. Twins need twin friends and Moms need support. I will say I am feeling everything you feel and more. I am crazy anxious about the delivery that I can't even think about after.</p> <p>I don't want to feel alone do let me know if you want to talk/meet up I can post my info on your wall. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-some-reassurance-please-vent#post-208171 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:39:17 +0000 skibobrown 208171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What you're experiencing sounds pretty normal. It's really scary to bring a baby into the world. ...and even scarier to have 2 at the same time!</p> <p>That being said, I experienced PPD, and it's scary stuff. If you're having a lot of feelings of depression and anxiety, you can get your doctor to prescribe you an anti-depressant that's safe for breastfeeding. </p> <p>Also, get yourself some help during the early weeks if you can. The sleep deprivation is just tough. It will get better as soon as your babies start sleeping for longer chunks of time, but at the beginning it's rough. If you can get someone else to watch the babies for a few hours so you can get some sleep it will make you feel like a whole new person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-some-reassurance-please-vent#post-208137 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:17:23 +0000 mrs. wagon 208137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh sweetie... first of all please know that all of your worries are totally normal and it's a GOOD sign you are stressing about all of these things. It means you really care about all of it and you're aware of everything that CAN go wrong. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling expecting your TWO boys so so soon.</p> <p>All I can say is, it all IS too much to bear. But all you can do is take it one day at a time. If at the end of every day everyone is alive and relatively happy, you have been a HUGE success as a mother and wife. </p> <p>And I will also say.. newborns are scary and delicate but it's REALLY hard to really hurt them. I didn't bathe Wagon Jr. in a baby tub for the entire first month because I was afraid of breaking him. Now I look back and think how ridiculous it was... but obviously as a first time mom, you're always going to be worried that you'll do something wrong or too roughly. </p> <p>All you can do is do your best every day, don't be ashamed to ask for help, and work on being a good team with your DH. If you can give it your all in those three things every day, you will be FINE!!! And of course we here at Hellobee are here for you every step of the way :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-some-reassurance-please-vent#post-208128 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:09:26 +0000 googly-eyes 208128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well I don't really have any words of wisdom but I can tell you that I am fearing a lot of the same things that you are. I don't worry that DH will leave but that we won't have any us time and we will fight or just be out of touch with each other. I worry that I will sleep through the baby's cries or that one day I just won't be able to do it, especially as a SAHM the first few months. I worry my LO wont be happy or that we won't be able to give her the life we want to (financially in particular.) But I just try not to focus on all of it at once and I talk about it all with DH, some of it over and over again! He always says well it WILL be crappy sometimes but that's just life and well haw to figure it out. So while I don't have advice you are certainly not alone. I hope you can talk to others and definitely make sure all your medical providers know about your concerns so they can look out for you too. I don't have experience with anxiety/depression but I think lots of your feelings are just plain normal and you just love your boys. :)</p> <p>I've also had nightmares about forgetting the baby places, but other ladies have said its normal so I don't worry about them! Lol that's one I don't THINK will actually happen! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-some-reassurance-please-vent#post-208119 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 18:55:29 +0000 Shimmer 208119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my twin boys and I find myself getting more and more terrified about the prospect of being a mom the closer I get to them being here! Sure, I'm excited, but I keep trying to keep myself from being unrealistic and thinking it's all puppies and kittens with two cute little newborns and I try to remind myself that things are going to suck for a while before they get better... being realistic is really getting me down! I have a running list of things that just devastate me when I think about them:</p> <p>- Ruining the relationship I have with DH. DH assures me that he knows that it's going to be super hard but that he'll never run/leave and will always be there to help me. I'm afraid that the love I feel for him is going to fade when I'm a sleep-deprived milk machine for two little boys.</p> <p>- Screwing up our kids. I didn't have the greatest upbringing, but I'm so lucky to have a super supportive dad and stepmom with me every step of the way. But I worry about being like my mom and see how she really damaged us as kids and all the therapy I've needed... and I just don't want to be that way. DH says I could never be like her and if I ever showed signs of being that way, he'd tell me. </p> <p>- Never sleeping again. This seems self-explanatory.</p> <p>- Not being able to keep up with the demands of two newborns, particularly breastfeeding. </p> <p>- Having PPD. I'm susceptible to it as I have struggled with depression in the past and battle anxiety issues every day. </p> <p>- Dropping my babies. Is this a fear everyone has in the beginning?</p> <p>I feel so overwhelmed and they aren't even here yet. My anxiety is on the rise and I can't take the medication that normally helps because of the pregnancy. While everyone around us is being so supportive, I can't help but feel alone in this sometimes. Logically I know that people wouldn't keep having kids if it was really awful, but emotionally it's just not computing for me!</p> <p>Any words of wisdom/advice/encouragement would be appreciated, as I am on the verge of tears right now. </p> <p>*deep breath* </p>