https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Jul 2026 23:14:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118995 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 21:15:23 +0000 Revel 2118995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've started to see this happen with my 21 month old. Like, she'll ask for milk and then freak out when I give it to her, but get mad when I put it back in the fridge. I've tried to just sit down on her level and explain I'll get her what she wants/play what she wants etc when she's ready to tell me/show me. Usually she has a little meltdown then comes over for a hug. I think this is an overtired pattern for us. She just seems really overwhelmed when it happens to her, and I do feel bad. I'm also very guilty of constant questions. I think the advice on that point in th is thread is very good. Maybe it's like decision fatigue for toddlers? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118959 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 20:48:50 +0000 Jess1483 2118959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: Yeah, I can cut down on the question asking, but this afternoon he did the same thing when he just announced to me "Try potty," and then "no try potty," etc, etc. I hadn't even mentioned the f-ing potty! Luckily, that one didn't lead to a full-on meltdown, but it certainly could have (distraction worked this time...I think I'll lean on that more often.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118875 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 19:50:32 +0000 jedeve 2118875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my guy does this sometimes. I realized how much we ask him when we really are just telling him something. Like, "it's time for dinner, okay?" Or "are you ready for bed?" It's extremely hard to stop doing but I notice he gets more frustrated when we ask him a question and there is only one answer. That's not exactly what you are talking about but maybe cutting out on those questions could make him feel more secure when he does have a choice? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118841 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 19:27:00 +0000 Jess1483 2118841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: Haha, that's true ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118835 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 19:22:17 +0000 bunnylove08 2118835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think 2.5 year olds are a little bipolar lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118798 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 18:45:48 +0000 Jess1483 2118798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: He wasn't this time. Sometimes that's the explanation, but probably only 20-30% of the time. (And no problem, I'm glad you asked so I could clarify a bit more.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118796 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 18:43:47 +0000 bunnylove08 2118796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh sorry for misunderstanding. Was he tired or hungry? Did has these meltdown when she is tired or hungry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118792 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 18:35:29 +0000 Jess1483 2118792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: Hm...maybe I'm not explaining the problem very well. He really is a very compliant boy and generally does what I ask or can easily be redirected to it. But on occasion (1-2 times a day), he has these total meltdowns I'm describing where he really seems distressed and can't seem to decide what he wants/doesn't want. Today I was perfectly fine with him trying the potty or not trying the potty (so bribery to do one or the other doesn't make sense), it was the ensuing meltdown that was the problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118787 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 18:29:36 +0000 bunnylove08 2118787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: maybe you need baby steps like dd loves mini marshmallows. I ask her to put on her coat and she doesn't listen I take one marshmallow and say you can have this if you put on your coat. </p> <p>Maybe try little rewards to get him to do what you want </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118678 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 16:07:39 +0000 Jess1483 2118678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: @bunnylove08: I do need to do more of that, I think, but the same behavior can result from him initiating. So, he could just have easily started without the question, and just said "try potty." I can offer fewer choices to try to avoid the situation, but what do I do when it's already started?</p> <p>Also, when I tell him what we do after "we are going to wash hands and then go to the park," he will just say he doesn't want to go to the park. So we've stopped doing that and just say "we are washing hands now." That usually works, but these behaviors aren't connected to this one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118649 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 15:47:08 +0000 bunnylove08 2118649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @T.H.O.U. just tell him what you want him to do. </p> <p>Hey its time to go potty you can flush the toilet when you're done. </p> <p>Thats what we do with DD. She likes to wash her hands so I said you can only wash it when you go potty so she uses the potty. </p> <p>When she has to get dressed (use to be a struggle) we just have to pick out her clothing. "DD time to pick out your clothes. Make sure you pick out socks, underwear, pants and a shirt". She still has a choice but I told her what she has to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118632 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 15:36:01 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2118632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, you may just need to make decisions for him. Don't start it out with a question. </p> <p>Set a timer (whatever frequency). and just state the fact. "It is time to go potty". and give a reward for obeying and following the directions. </p> <p>Same for soccer time, "Its time to go to xyz". And just go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118617 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 15:17:01 +0000 birdofafeather 2118617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: In regards to the potty, I just have to make the decision for her many times. Same with giving two options, sometimes she just doesn't know so I pick one and go with it. Totally normal toddler behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118611 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 15:05:00 +0000 Jess1483 2118611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@edelweiss: I'll give that a try. We did that early in potty training, but have generally been relying on him to tell us if he needs to go at this point. It's definitely something I haven't tried in awhile, so I'll give it a shot! Thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118606 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 15:01:11 +0000 tysonja 2118606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: aw, I see. hope you get some super useful tips from others in the thread! will keep an eye on it, as my boys are getting to that age. it's no fun watching our babies be upset. xo! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118602 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:59:04 +0000 Jess1483 2118602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: No, he's not having any constipation issues. When he doesn't want to poop on the potty, he just poops in his underwear. Not the ideal solution, but not the root of this behavior :wink:</p> <p>(Just saw your edit to my response, haha.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118599 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:58:03 +0000 MrsF 2118599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just saw your response - never mind! I was going to suggest constipation as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118592 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:56:01 +0000 Jess1483 2118592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: No. It's definitely just pee when he does this, and again, he sometimes does this when going potty isn't involved at all.</p> <p>@blackbird: @tysonja: Thanks, ladies. I know to some extent the behavior probably is normal, but it's been going on for so long and it's clearly so distressing to him. Sometimes he gets so worked up, he puts himself in time out (and this is not a behavior I would normally give a consequence for, nor is he generally in time out more than once every week or two, if that). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118591 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:55:06 +0000 edelweiss 2118591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't have any experience with the potty issue (LO isn't potty trained yet) but sounds like you are doing what you can and treating the situation appropriately. one idea i had was suggesting to him that it's okay if he doesn't actually potty, but he can sit and see, no pressure. maybe you are already doing that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118583 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:50:14 +0000 tysonja 2118583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>aw, poor dude :). I think you are doing all the right things, though! I agree that sometimes you have to make the decision for him -- sometimes too much choice is overwhelming, I think :). great job, mama! hope it passes soon! probably just a random strange toddler phase :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118582 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:49:59 +0000 blackbird 2118582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>E does this with milk sometimes and I don't know what to make of it. She says she wants milk, we give it to her, she freaks out...we take it away...she says she wants it, she freaks out. I think she is legitimately confused as to what she's asking for, or just doesn't know the words to what she wants and gets frustrated I bring her the 'wrong' thing :( anyways, sympathies </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118581 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:49:54 +0000 mrbee 2118581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: Can't tell if he's going #1 or 2 when he is indecisive... but if it's #2, is he possibly constipated so that going potty is painful?</p> <p>My kids both wrestled with that, and we saw a similar back and forth in their desire to use the potty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-suggestions-for-odd-behavior#post-2118578 Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:46:58 +0000 Jess1483 2118578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 28 month old is really struggling with a behavior (and has been for about 2-3 months). He only really does it with me or DH (not with my parents), and mostly with me. It usually goes down this way:<br /> Me: Do you want to try potty?<br /> LO: Yeah, try potty.<br /> (We walk toward the bathroom)<br /> LO: No try potty!<br /> Me: You don't need to go potty? Ok, let's go XXXX.<br /> LO: Yeah try potty, try potty.<br /> Me: Ok, let's go try potty.<br /> LO: No try potty! No try!</p> <p>At this point he is in tears, and it spirals downhill from there. He will neither go potty nor not go potty. Today it happened at his soccer class. I calmly said (as I normally do), "if you need to go potty, we can go potty, and if you don't need to, we can go back and play with your friends." It does absolutely no good and he just keeps going back and forth between trying and not trying and he becomes a big mess and I get frustrated. He isn't just messing with me (I don't think.) My impression of the behavior is that he legitimately can't figure out if he needs to go or not, and doesn't know what to do with himself, then gets worked up.</p> <p>I've tried distraction, holding him calmly, making the choice for him (your feelings seem really big right now, so I'm going to choose playing with friends), etc. Nothing works. It usually ends with him totally in tears but finally half-heartedly doing one thing or the other. Today, though, it was pretty much the end of his participation in his soccer class.</p> <p>It's not always about going potty, but I'd say 75% of the time it is. I've tried to make it really low-pressure and never force him to try, but it doesn't seem to be trying that bothers him, just this indecisive middle ground. Sometimes it's about eating a meal or going somewhere.</p> <p>Help! </p>