https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 12:21:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171740 Tue, 29 May 2012 08:56:18 +0000 LuLu Mom 171740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I understand where you are coming from. I have a great friend who because she is already a mother thinks she knows what is best in ALL cases. I think she thinks she is providing advice, to me it is her coming off as pushy/negative. I finally just said "I understand you are trying to help, but I need a friend not another one giving me advice. I have two pushy sisters for that already." And she has zipped her lips every since. I know she meant well but it was all rubbing me the wrong way, just because it didn't work for her daughter doesn't mean it wouldn't work for mine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171656 Tue, 29 May 2012 07:42:08 +0000 sorrycharlie 171656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to agree with some PPs. I usually am very direct. For instance, the other day someone told me how huge I was. I immediately smiled and said, "well that's not very nice." she immediately backpedaled. Direct (nice) confrontation is not always the way to go, but it's usually what I do - and it usually works because most people don't expect you to come right back at their comments! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171605 Tue, 29 May 2012 06:02:17 +0000 MsLipGloss 171605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It really sounds like thinly masked jealousy to me . . . as best possible, just kill her with kindness when you have to deal with her, and stay away from her as much as possible in order to give her as little to work with, i.e., to be negative about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171584 Tue, 29 May 2012 03:36:30 +0000 SugarplumsMom 171584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I wish she was a "friend" it would be so much easier! </p> <p>As for the footies, she assumes I'll let the baby run around on the wooden floors on them - umm they're PJs! </p> <p>I have to share a story, this happened before I was pregnant. DH was telling us about a cute convo at work with his co-workers, both are having another baby and prepping the younger one about the new baby:</p> <p>One of the parents told their son, "Your little sister will come soon and we'll be a little busy for awhile, so we want to get you something. You can have anything you want and we'll see if we can get it." The little boy thought long and hard and finally came to a decision, "I want a hot dog at ICA (a grocery store)". His parents were surprised because of all things he chooses a hot dog! They suddenly remember that he's been asking for a hot dog for awhile now, but they're always rushing out of the store they never had the chance to buy him one.</p> <p>The next story is similar, from another co-worker. She was also having a 2nd baby and prompted her toddler about what he wanted to do now because in a few weeks, they'll be busy with the baby. The boy thought long and hard and finally made a decision, "I want to go to the nice beach we went to with grandmother!" They were really confused because they've never been to a beach! The boy kept trying to explain the location and then finally it hits them, it's a small, sad strip of sand by a lake near their house!</p> <p>Kids are so cute like that! That's usually the normal response to these kinds of stories. Nope ... her response was:</p> <p>"What horrible parents!" She explained how it's so hard for children to choose things on their own and they should have only given 2 alternatives! ... yeh. That's the kind of person she is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171287 Mon, 28 May 2012 19:35:57 +0000 heffalump 171287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's annoying, especially because her comments aren't necessarily right. Why can't you have footy things in the pj's? My LO has them.... they keep her feet warm. I usually just try to kill them with kindness.... but if they go too far and don't shut up about it, I try to distance myself. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171264 Mon, 28 May 2012 18:41:41 +0000 chopsuey 171264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say you unfriend her! You don't need negative people in your life! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171215 Mon, 28 May 2012 17:30:46 +0000 DigAPony 171215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is this a person you can avoid/distance yourself from? If not, I'd be up-front but polite, like, "I'm not sure if you realized this, but a lot of your comments about my pregnancy/baby/etc. are coming off pretty negative. It really makes it hard to talk about it with you." I'd be tempted to call her out in a rude way, but it's always best to take the high road while still not letting people treat you poorly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171201 Mon, 28 May 2012 17:07:34 +0000 PrincessBaby 171201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't deal well with people like that...It's something I need to work on because I just immediately call people out on things like that....At the end of the day, I suppose the best thing is just to leave it alone, even though it feels lovely when you get that initial gratification of the call-out. But usually it just introduces more stress. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171197 Mon, 28 May 2012 16:55:24 +0000 googly-eyes 171197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just say something hinting at her negativity and see if she gets the message. I get how it can sort of seem like she's implying you're incompetent and how the comments can come across as pretty negative especially when you're excited. However, I think this might be one of those cases where she just doesn't realize how she's coming off. In the meantime I'd just see if I can find someone else to talk baby stuff with! Feel free to post your baby shoes here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171178 Mon, 28 May 2012 16:27:14 +0000 BeachMama 171178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd either ignore them, or use the "kill them with kindness" approach. You can calmly return each of her negative comments with a positive one. Some people will always just see the negative side of things though. That's definitely how my dad is, and it gets very tiring. When I get fed up with it, I just try to remove myself from the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171176 Mon, 28 May 2012 16:24:55 +0000 ChelseaRose 171176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you told her that she is being constantly negative and to knock it off? Maybe she doesn't realize how negative and critical she comes across and thinks she's just being helpful with her "expertise" in all these areas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171154 Mon, 28 May 2012 15:18:01 +0000 aunt pol 171154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's one of those things that will change a lot when babies are actually born. Comments in pregnancy are one thing but I think I'll see red if someone straight up criticises something I do with the girls. Mind you my youngest SIL is usually the greatest offender in that regard, and with my hormonal state these days she's on a road that leads to either me crying or biting the head off her. The only SIL that doesn't have kids/isn't planning to, of course... And she's the expert. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171152 Mon, 28 May 2012 15:14:42 +0000 Nskillet 171152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend like this that Im only now trying to disance myself from. She is just very selfish, always has terrinle nasty comments, and frequently is a negative person. I dont saynanything back but I am tempted. Some people arent worth it, but sometimes the satisfaction of shutting them up already is!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171133 Mon, 28 May 2012 14:44:08 +0000 lavender 171133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ignore them! I've realized everyone has an opinion when it comes to pregnancy and babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171097 Mon, 28 May 2012 14:13:45 +0000 Andrea 171097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Toxic for sure! </p> <p>I do not think that you'll have to cut the feet off? Weird! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171084 Mon, 28 May 2012 13:56:30 +0000 StbHisMrs 171084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There'd be a lot if eye rolling and if I didn 't speak up my dh would for sure. </p> <p>I'm curiius why you need to cut the feet off the sleep-n-plays? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171040 Mon, 28 May 2012 12:52:48 +0000 matador84 171040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends on the person. I have come to realize just how rude some people can be since I found out I was pregnant. I just try to look at everything with positive intentions...we might not know why people say what they say...but for whatever reason they do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171039 Mon, 28 May 2012 12:47:52 +0000 mrbee 171039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like a toxic friend!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-comments-how-do-you-deal#post-171027 Mon, 28 May 2012 12:35:00 +0000 SugarplumsMom 171027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's someone that we unfortunately have to deal with that always assumes the we're clueless and always seems to say something negative. </p> <p>For instance, we showed this person baby clothes gifted from my mom and instead of just saying how cute they are I get, "You're going to have to cut the feet of the sleep-n-plays" and proceeds to make scissor motions with her fingers. I showed cute shoes I got on sale and she responds by laughing and saying "that won't fit a baby, it's going to take a few months before she can wear it" ... she asks about prenatal classes and when we reply she says, "the only important thing is that you know what to do with a baby" she's implied in the past that new parents are clueless on what to do with a newborn once they're home from the hospital. I can go on =/</p> <p>The comments in itself aren't too bad, but when nothing positive is EVER actually said, only negative, it's really irritating. So far, I'm just ignored all her baby related comments but I'm starting to wonder if that's the right thing to do. She's been this way with other subjects in the past and the more I just smiled and ignored it, the more she'd comment. It's only when I'd comment back when she'd stop.</p> <p>How do you handle random negative comments? Do you just ignore them? </p>