https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 01:16:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21849 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 12:45:50 +0000 kentuckygirl 21849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Until recently, I have always wanted one boy and one girl and wanted a girl first. However, I have been thinking about how close I am to my sister and I would hate my daughter not having a bond like that. So I think now I am in the "as long as it is healthy" mindset. I probably will cry if I end up with two boys but know that I will still love them with all my heart! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21448 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:17:42 +0000 mediagirl 21448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I appreciate everyone's honest opinions and thoughts. I haven't had any bad experiences so I don't think about things in that way. I can see how you would, though. It's nice to read everyone's different thoughts on this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21371 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 16:34:45 +0000 kiddosc 21371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think these feelings are normal. If you have something pictured in your mind one way and it turns out to be another, there is a normal adjustment period. Of course we all want healthy babies, and that is more important. But we shouldn't be made to feel bad about our feelings if we need a moment to let go of what might have been. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21341 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:36:46 +0000 LuLu Mom 21341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my biggest fear, I have repeatly told my husband I hope I get my girl first because I'm scared I will have all boys. I know that when the time comes I should just hope for a healthy baby, which is very true, however deep down I'm scared I will be disappointed if the ultasound says boy. I'm glad I'm not alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21335 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:29:19 +0000 geekinheels 21335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All my life I've generally gotten along better with guys than girls. And regarding kids, I've always pictured myself with two boys...</p> <p>Well, I got the complete opposite: I now have two girls!</p> <p>I admit it: finding out that our second was a girl was tough. Especially because all the old wives' gender tests all pointed to a boy, and because practically everyone else I know who were having second children were getting one of each (and I admit that I'm still a bit envious of these people!). I put even more pressure on myself because my husband is the eldest boy in his extended family, so according to Asian culture he's expected to have at least one boy to pass down the lineage.</p> <p>My husband and I also made a deal that if our second is another girl, we would try for a third...and frankly, I HATED being pregnant both times and I really dislike the infant stage.</p> <p>Of course this does not mean that I love my girls any less. Like others have said above, I believe that it's completely normal to be disappointed by the gender. I'm not so sure that it's all a matter of perspective, as I have had a 2nd trimester miscarriage, have had tremendously difficult pregnancies, and know people whose children's health suffer...I am thankful for my girls and their health every day, but I would be lying to myself if I were to say that I was not disappointed by their sex. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21229 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 14:08:09 +0000 DpeachLu 21229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to admit. And its hard for me to share.<br /> I really wanted a boy. I still wish we had heard boy - and wonder how different we both would feel if we had a boy in there.<br /> It doesnt mean I am not happy, it doesnt mean I dont feel blessed. It doesnt mean I am not excited. I am all of the above! I am also pretty sure when we finally have her here, I will forget all about "I wanted a boy" BUT the feeling is there.. and maybe its just because I am a first time mom so I dont know what it is like to have either plus I am a tomboy and feel it will be difficult. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21220 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 13:56:01 +0000 plantains 21220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really want a girl, but I have a very strong feeling that its a boy. I'm definitely planning on finding out the sex to give me time to adjust. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21146 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 13:10:39 +0000 Rosie Girl 21146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know DH wanted a boy (even though my son is like his), so I was really worried that he would be upset if we were having a girl (which we are!). But he wasn't! He had such a strong feeling that it was a girl that he had already "accepted" it I guess you could say, and was good with it. I had a freak out! I have always wanted a girl, but after having a boy the first time, I kind of wanted another one. None of my friends have girls, and to be honest, they scare me! I know what to expect with a boy, but not a girl!!!! I am super excited, but it is still really odd to me to think that we are having a girl!</p> <p>we were both in the camp of as long as the baby is healthy, and makes it, we will be happy though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21090 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 12:43:35 +0000 Maysprout 21090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt weird when we found out. I had a vivid dream that we were having a boy, it felt like our future, I felt very certain we were having a boy through the first half of my pregnancy. When the ultrasound said girl, I almost felt like I should believe my instincts instead of the picture. It had nothing to do with valuing a certain gender, it was more to do with a vision I had developed and now was being altered. It took a day to be like well that's different and adjust. Now my little girl is sleeping in my arms and it would be weird to have a boy. But it really it wouldn't be weird because at this age I can't really imagine what would be different between a boy and girl except some outfit differences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21082 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 12:34:06 +0000 mrbee 21082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: You are so right!</p> <p>I don't get upset if someone values the gender of their baby. But personally, I was just relieved to have a healthy baby after our earlier issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21070 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 12:22:59 +0000 HabesBabe 21070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is what's holding me back from being Team Green-- I would love love love love LOVE a girl, but would feel meh about having a boy. I hope that wouldn't "spoil" the moment if we decide to wait. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21055 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 12:07:44 +0000 MsMamaBear 21055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was happy either way. I haven't lost a baby, but it was 1yr of TTC that got us Baby Bear, so I was happy either way. My SO has a son and wanted another, but once she was born,(we were Team Green) all I HEARD and STILL hear is "Princess"! LOL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21044 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 11:39:05 +0000 Mrsbells 21044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends which perspective you look at things. Some people see a glass half empty and others see a glass half full. For people struggling with conceiving, or who have had still births, or babies born with severe defects or have seen it happen to someone very close to them, being upset over the baby's gender seems trivial from their perspective because they are just grateful to have any baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21038 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 11:28:45 +0000 Navy_Mommy 21038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I cried when I found out I'm having a boy. I still struggle with it. I'm TRYING to be excited about it, but its hard. I have a lengthy post about it on my blog (link in my profile) on my week 18 update.</p> <p>There are three types of people in the world. 1) They really don't care whether they have a boy or a girl, they'll be happy either way. I'm super envious of these people. 2) They say they don't care but they really do and don't admit it because they're afraid of what other people will think. They're liars. And 3) They openly care whether they're having a boy or a girl and a lot of people are very judgmental of them. And it sucks. </p> <p>I've had people (who I considered very close friends and thought they would be understanding) tell me I SHOULD be happy either way, this baby is a part of my husband and I. And it sucks to hear stuff like that. But, such is life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21025 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 11:15:29 +0000 Mrs. D 21025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were told we're having exactly what my husband was convinced we're having, lol. But I was a bit worried that they would tell us it's a boy, and he wouldn't look as excited. Silly I know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-21019 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 11:04:54 +0000 Lozza 21019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I totally wanted a girl, and we had a boy. Now I'm thrilled with having a boy.<br /> I think it's normal and totally ok to have a preference, but I also think once you have the baby, you'll decide that whatever you've had is best :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-20994 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 10:52:18 +0000 autumnlove 20994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I cried a few tears when I found out I was having a girl. For some reason I had convinced myself that it was a boy (since our families really wanted us to have a girl...we definitely come from families where girls are in the minority) from the start of the pregnancy. I quickly got over it and now I am ecstatic to have a girl! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-20954 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 10:01:27 +0000 pelikila 20954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was disappointed when we found out we were having a boy. It's why I insisted on finding out what we were having; it gave me time to wrap my head around it and embrace it. As other posters said, you'll love your baby no matter what but give yourself time to accept it if it turns out you aren't having your preferred gender. I really wanted a girl and my husband knew how much since we are only having the one baby. When the u/s tech told us it was a boy my husband even apologized to me that it wasn't a girl even though he had wanted a boy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-20945 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 09:49:31 +0000 themcmom 20945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was at the High Risk Doctor, the ultrasound tech was so happy we didn't want to know the gender. She said that she's had fathers start throwing things and women start yelling at her. It's something that happens, but I'm of the people that think it's ridiculous because I had a stillborn baby. Once you've been through something that proves how wonderful it is just to have a healthy baby that you can carry yourself, you realize that gender doesn't matter. I'm not trying to say that people who feel disappointed are wrong. We can't help how we feel, but remember that you're going to love your baby no matter what. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-20939 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 09:43:01 +0000 Mrsbells 20939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm finding out the gender of my first baby today!!! Very exciting! I'm not too worried if its a girl or boy. Personally I believe a happy healthy baby is all that matters. If I end up with all boys or all girls and they are healthy and happy I will be happy. I guess that puts me in the minority. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-20934 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 09:27:52 +0000 Rubies 20934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You will love your child no matter what but it's normal to desire a girl (or a boy) first before finding out. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-20930 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 09:24:51 +0000 Andrea 20930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that is normal and don't feel bad for having those feelings. I was disappointed upon finding out I was having a girl but it lasted only an hour and then I got all excited about what to name her. Now it feels weird that I ever wanted a boy. Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-20912 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 08:48:56 +0000 tequiero21 20912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>good luck! i really hope you get your little girl! i think i would have been SO disappointed if i ended up having 2 boys. i definitely want a lil girl too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-20909 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 08:45:16 +0000 Miss Adia 20909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's really awesome that some women are able to share these raw feelings. I think some women are too afraid to be honest because they should be happy they are pregnant because so many women cannot or they should just be happy they are having a healthy baby because so many women do not. I think it's BS.<br /> Those feelings are real. My cousin has 5 boys. She always wanted a girl. There isn't anything wrong with that. When she found out the last baby was a boy, she did cry. She cried for a week. While she was happy that she was having another healthy baby, she was mourning the loss of never having a girl. Some men go through the same thing. My father wanted a boy and my mom had all girls. He basically made my little sister his boy.<br /> I don't think it's pregnancy hormones. I think it's human nature. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-reaction-to-finding-out-gender#post-20886 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 04:34:57 +0000 mediagirl 20886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a lot of people have tiptoed around this one on here so I'm wondering, did you or your so have a negative reaction to the gender? </p> <p>I had a bit of a crying jag the other day thinking about our baby's gender. We are planning on having just one child. I have always wanted a girl and started fussing over 'what if I never get my daughter!? ' I'm afraid I'll cry if they tell us we're having boy. Of course I would love a boy with everything I have, I just think I'll always have a small part of me that is sad for that lost girl. All this and we're still 5+ weeks from finding out!! Pregnancy hormones much? :-) </p>