https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 28 May 2026 01:26:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-self-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2915659 Wed, 20 May 2020 18:51:04 +0000 pinkb 2915659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 7 yr old does this. (Started in kindergarten at age 6) It got so bad in January I reached out to a friend who is a child therapist. Then I reached out to her schools for resources also. Lock down and my lay off has been the best thing for us. DD says things like I am stupid or dumb and the biggest one I hate myself a lot. Crying, screaming ,hiding while crying and screaming. just really concerning behavior. Everyone I talked to said as much 1 on 1 time I could do. At least 1 time a week do something out of the house just the 2 of us. Name things you like/ love about them. We also play a game before bed. We do either our 5 favorite things we did that day or 5 things we love about ourself. The thing we love about ourself can be hard so on hard nights we do 1. I am a big proponent of asking for help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-self-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2915658 Wed, 20 May 2020 18:40:08 +0000 MamaCate 2915658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: I think the positive attention is going to be really key for this. I also wanted to add that sometimes anxious kids can present with anger/aggression/dysregulation and then the anxiety gets missed so what you are describing feels like it may all be part of the same issue. There are a lot of good resources for younger kids lately about mindfulness and positive self talk so that might be another way to provide more support. I think your messaging can also be more about “mommy/daddy loves you no matter what and we love you because of who you are, no matter what you do, even when you make a bad choice”. And the idea that all feelings are okay to have and we can find a way to get through them together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-self-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2915653 Wed, 20 May 2020 14:54:59 +0000 bhbee 2915653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mommy Finger: ok glad to hear others have heard this stuff too. I’m trying the positive reinforcement stuff too. I do think it’s likely related to the days he’s really wild and we are correcting him too much. We would never use the words he translates it into, but his mind is a creative wonderland and maybe that works on both the good and bad sides of things. Anyway thanks for the perspective! </p> <p>@gotkimchi: agree to monitoring. We already know we gave the oldest anxiety issues (they showed up really young) and I’m sure he has some kind of bad heredity as well :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-self-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2915652 Wed, 20 May 2020 14:37:23 +0000 Mommy Finger 2915652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My almost 5 yo has been doing that for awhile but to be honest, I haven't seen it lately. He's my second and when I would tell him that I love him and he's such a good boy, he would say he's not, he's a bad boy. And sometimes he would start hitting himself in the head. No idea where he got this from and why. Part of me wondered if it was b/c he got a new teacher at his school who really didn't have a handle on the class. You could tell the class really ran wild. I was wondering if she yelled at them a lot. I was about to talk to the director but the SIP order happened and we're not going back. </p> <p>I talked to my coworker about this b/c she has 3 boys that are somewhat similar in ages and she had a similar situation with her middle child. She said that she just did a lot of positive attention and if her son ever acted this way, especially if he would hit himself, she would tell him that he was also hurting mommy when he did that and that he was a very good boy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-self-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2915647 Wed, 20 May 2020 11:40:26 +0000 gotkimchi 2915647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess this sounds like more then “big feelings” to me and I would def be calling his ped. I don’t think this quarantine is helping anyone’s mental health but I’d want to be monitoring that </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negative-self-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2915646 Wed, 20 May 2020 11:03:06 +0000 bhbee 2915646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Going to talk to pedi as well but wondering if anyone has experience/resources to share -</p> <p>We’ve noticed since quarantine episodes of my 5 year old (entering K in fall) using negative self talk. And I think it’s going on in his head at times when he’s not saying it out loud. Example, last night at bedtime I said some usual things like “I love you so much, you’re so special to me” and he said something like “I’m not those things, I’m like nothing”. Or one day a week or so before, I found him pouting around the corner (but about nothing in particular) and I asked him what was up and he said “I can’t stop thinking about how I’m the worst thing ever”. He’s told me many times he’s sad but doesn’t know why (that one makes more sense to me in the context of all the life changes). </p> <p>It has freaked me out a fair amount, although in between these episodes he acts totally normal. He’s always been a sensitive soul but he’s also a wild child whom we admittedly get short with at times and I know he takes it to heart even if he’s not listening to our requests. DH and I both have mental health issues ourselves and in our families, so it’s absolutely on my radar. I think some of it is middle child stuff - the toddler gets attention because she needs lots of help and is loud, the oldest has gotten more attention because of school etc. I’ve been trying to counter that with his love languages of quality time, loving words, physical touch with hugs or sitting in my lap, etc but of course it’s an ongoing issue to do that well amidst the rest of life. </p> <p>I’m really not sure how much to chalk it up to just expressing big feelings, but I don’t want to miss something important either. Anyone been there? </p>