https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 15:40:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2404874 Wed, 30 Dec 2015 18:27:44 +0000 fussygal 2404874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depending on how flexible they are what about working back up to FT slowly? I think a few suggested it above already, but that's what I did and it was a great way to ease back in. I WFH, but still knew that going up to FT right away wasn't right for us and I started at 20/week and over the next 12 months slowly worked up to 35/week. Was planning to get to 40 but then got pregnant again so I'm just staying put at 35/week until this one comes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2404853 Wed, 30 Dec 2015 17:58:43 +0000 Chuckles 2404853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsads: hang in there! ruling out GI problems is no fun (my LO had to do a couple of really horrible tests), but you'll feel better in the long run knowing what is really going on. You're doing so amazing for continuing to breastfeed with all the dietary issues! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2404808 Wed, 30 Dec 2015 17:05:12 +0000 rpparker 2404808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here is my full story if you are interested! <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maybe-you-cant-do-this-job-and-be-a-mother" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maybe-you-cant-do-this-job-and-be-a-mother</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2404807 Wed, 30 Dec 2015 17:04:15 +0000 rpparker 2404807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good luck! I spaced my 12 week maternity out to almost 16 weeks going back part time at first and then pitched the idea to my boss to work at the office 30 hours/week and work from home 10 hours/week. She denied the request, things got ugly, and I quit! But I was already in a hostile work environment and there had been almost 100% turnover in my 5 years working there so not the best example. I had put my request in writing which ended up being very helpful because she later exaggerated what I had requested and I had the paperwork to prove that wasn't the case...again I was in a bad work environment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2403324 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 15:06:31 +0000 JenGirl 2403324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in a somewhat similar situation, though my son doesn't have any medical concerns. I just came back to work after my FMLA, but my husband is taking FMLA until the end of January. I'm very seriously considering cutting back to 4 days per week. My work is generally pretty understanding and I think they'll let me, but I have to figure out how it would work with my schedule. My husband is also considering going to 4 days per week. I just think that if we can afford to spend an extra day per week with our son, why wouldn't we? I've already been promoted about as high as I can go, so I don't worry about career path and we are very well situated for retirement, so it's mostly just figuring things out and working up the nerve to take the leap! I say make an outline of what you would like to do and take it to your boss. Have somethings you would be flexible with but know what your absolute musts are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2403215 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 13:56:38 +0000 MrsADS 2403215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Skipra thanks, that's encouraging. The people I work with are generally very nice and understanding. Just don't know what to expect. </p> <p>@madison43 I actually work for a nonprofit so I don't have billables. Just have to manage my caseload. I do have to track or "bill" hours but not like for a firm because we're not billing a client. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2403202 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 13:47:38 +0000 Madison43 2403202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I'm a lawyer too. When I went back after LO1, we agreed to reduce my billable hour requirement by 20 percent and I took a 20 percent salary reduction. Could you work out something like that? Or work out a contract situation where you are only paid for the hours you bill? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2403196 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 13:37:50 +0000 skipra 2403196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a very similar situation when I tried to return to work after my first. I went back when he was almost 4 months and just prior to returning was told that he was FTT. It was also right after the holidays so I couldn't give my boss much notice about the situation. I spoke with her briefly just before I went in and then had a meeting with her and her boss the morning I returned. They were amazing and agreed to letting me return PT temporarily while we worked on getting LO growing again. My department had mostly done away with WAH but they even offered that to me as another temporary option (just wouldn't work for me because our house was way too small). After only a couple days we realized that it just was not a good idea for me to work at that time. I tried to quit but my boss put me on long-term unpaid leave instead so that I could return once he was healthier. I just want to share my story because it doesn't hurt to ask for other options, especially if it just a temporary situation. I had no idea that they would allow me to take a longer leave and never even considered WAH since there was a policy against it. Good luck and I hope it works out for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2403186 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 13:33:04 +0000 MrsADS 2403186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@my only sunshine I'm a lawyer too. </p> <p>@chuckles @mama bird @lulu mom thank you for your commiseration about the babies with GI issues. We're going to see a 2nd specialist because DS's GI (who is wonderful) thinks something else may be going on, possibly gastroparesis. On top of that he's got a severe protein intolerance (like MSPI) and I've been breastfeeding (he refuses Neocate/Elecare), so now I am on a total elimination diet (only eating turkey, rice, zucchini, sweet potatoes, and pears) to try to identify what else I am eating that is bothering him (I've been eliminating dairy, soy, gluten, nuts, seafood, corn, eggs, and tomatoes for 2 months already). It's just hard explaining to people because everyone is like "oh yeah, my baby had reflux too" and I don't think they get what we are dealing with (or they think I am just a wuss mom who can't handle it!).</p> <p>@T.H.O.U. unfortunately my mat leave counted as FMLA, so I think that means I can't take any more leave for another year (at least leave that counts as FMLA). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2403158 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 13:14:33 +0000 Chuckles 2403158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsads: no advice here, but I just wanted to commiserate! I worked very part time when my son was that age (like 12 hours a week). He had a lot of GI and feeding issues, too. So lots of vomiting, and we ended up needing to do feeding therapy through early intervention. It would have been so stressful to leave him home with a nanny during that time, not to mention all the extra appointments. It sounds like you know yourself and your family's needs right now to do what's best for you all. There are some nannies who specialize in kids with medical issues who would certainly be able to provide excellent care for your son, but I'm sure they are much more expensive than typical nannies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2403098 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 12:31:23 +0000 Mama Bird 2403098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you might be able to ask to work from home for a while! I have a similar work environment and before my oldest was born, I was sure I'd come back in three months and that's that, cut and dried.</p> <p>DS was gaining weight slowly and had reflux - not horrible, but it was worse when he had to take a bottle because he swallowed more air. And I just didn't realize how hard it is to leave such a small baby. So I asked my boss if I can telecommute for two months, with the caveat that I'll attend all meetings where I have to be in person. To my knowledge no one had done that before, but she agreed and it worked out great. Other than my career taking a hit for a while, because people didn't see me in the office hard at work and some coworkers thought I wasn't working very hard... but that bit was totally worth being home with DS longer.</p> <p>Good luck!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402927 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 10:43:09 +0000 LBee 2402927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did this. I contacted my boss about 2 weeks before my maternity leave was over with a specific plan and time line. We had discussed it, though, in passing prior to me leaving. I wanted to work from home 2 afternoons a week for 6 months. I had been on bed rest for 4 weeks prior to delivering my son and had worked every day from home so, like you, had proven I could do it. I said that my son would have care during the time (which was true) and outlined "checks" I would have to ensure that things weren't becoming a problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402910 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 10:36:12 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2402910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with coming up with a specific proposal and a few alternate options to present. This is a business and you aren't just looking for sympathy. </p> <p>Also, if your son has medical issues, can you look to file for leave under some FMLA so at least you know they will hold your position if you have to take time off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402893 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 10:30:21 +0000 Modern Daisy 2402893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a similar problem. My commute is an hour so I am gone from 7:15am - 5:30pm. I work with all men who have stay at home wives and since they never use pto they all take off the whole month of December. No one cares about wfh because childcare is covered. I asked for flexibility and was turned down (by way of non-answer, which is the worst) so I am deciding what to do. I have built up a great career and salary over the last 12 years and it kills me to think of ending all that and completely changing our financial situation. Plus I really don't want to stay home.. Weekends are hard enough and stressful with our 2 yo.. I kind of see work as a break. In my case I just have to suck it up and compromise, but I really think I will be glad I did in a few years when my son is more independent and we want to start traveling, etc. sorry I don't have great advice but at least you know you're not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402754 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 08:55:21 +0000 LuLu Mom 2402754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Coming from my industry/work environment this would never fly. Mothers have asked and were immediately turned down, so I didn't even attempt. I would be prepared if there isn't a precedent set for a no and have a plan in mind if that is the answer. I would go in with a set proposal with a back up plan and see what they say, I would say the more prepared the better, including what kind of pay cut you are willing to take for less hours and if you will lose benefits/401K match/ect. </p> <p>Also, as a mother who dealt with a child with severe GI issues, please be prepared for increased medical costs if you do plan on quitting. My daughter had 4 separate discovery surgeries for her issues by the time she was 18 months, it was a heavy hit to our wallet due to having to pay max out of pocket over the course of two calendar years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402744 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 08:44:31 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2402744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I would go in with a solid proposal or two. I talked to my boss a few weeks before I went back and proposed a 75% schedule. I work 3-1/2 days a week and get in early every day. It's been a really good situation for my family. I have a friend who went part-time after she'd been back a couple weeks, and that was also fine. I'm a lawyer and my job doesn't seem very conducive to a part-time schedule, but it's actually been pretty smooth.</p> <p>I would make sure you have childcare if you're working from home. If I were a boss I wouldn't approve someone working from home while also watching their kid.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402741 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 08:41:19 +0000 MrsADS 2402741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all for your feedback.</p> <p>A few things... we don't have an official telecommute policy. No one that I'm aware of really does it regularly, although apparently a few employees have done so in the past. And it's very common for people in my position to spend occasional days WFH - like not on a regular basis, but if we have something to get done that requires a lot of concentration (we have a lot of phone interruption at work). And for part of my pregnancy, I was on bedrest for preterm labor and I worked 100% full time from home - they accommodated me. I was able to keep up with my work completely (although it's not quite as easy) and my boss actually told me several times how much she appreciated me handling my load even though I was at home. So, I feel like I've shown them I can do it. (On the other hand, I feel like maybe they feel like they've already accommodated me and they don't want to do it again!)</p> <p>My husband actually would be the one watching our son part of the time (he's a prof and he's teaching online courses this spring). But he still needs time to work too so we are in the process of looking for a PT nanny/babysitter. When my son is really sick I don't think a babysitter would keep him, honestly - if I was the babysitter/nanny and I had a baby who was screaming and vomiting every few minutes I would probably call the parents. DH is certainly more flexible but he can't do 100% of the care (although he will be when I first go back). I feel like if I was WFH with a babysitter there, though, I would at least *be there* so if something happened or he started not doing well, I'd be there to take over. </p> <p>I considered asking for more unpaid leave, but I already took an extra month. And I don't think this is the sort of thing that's likely to be sorted out in another month or two - they can't hold my position that long. </p> <p>The idea of doing a "trial" is a good idea - I thought about proposing an alternate schedule for a few months and seeing how it goes, and if it's not working for them, to let me know. </p> <p>I'm so stressed about all this - couldn't sleep last night. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402716 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 07:52:55 +0000 Kelley_lovelikecrazy 2402716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My company is NOT flexible. They are pretty old school. I have a 1+ hr commute. So I would leave at 6am, be home 630 or so depending on traffic. Same boat, those hours would not work. I told my boss that I had always imagined myself staying home, that I love spending time with my child. But that once I started working, and working for that team, I LOVED working. And being home over mat leave made me realize I couldn't stay home full time. I then tried to use a lot of "need", not in a threatening way, bit one that subtlety said this isn't just a preference, its what we need for our family. I told him I needed to work from home. I needed to see her more. I couldn't sit in evening traffic and barely make it home for bed. I proposed a 2 month trial. If it doesn't work after that we 'figure things out' (never promising to go back to the old schedule BC I knew I'd have to quit, but never once saying that). That even after two months, its a rolling approval. He can say it isn't working at any time, and we reconvene from there. I chose to come in at 7 (which means DH does daycare) and then leave at 12 to get her by 1, so that she'd take her afternoon nap for me while I worked. That I have an office at home and wouldnt need anything (I don't, but I don't turn on the TV and we have WiFi ;) ) he asked abt me staying until 3 or so. But no afternoon nap for me meant less work got done. And driving during most people's lunch hour meant not wasting that hour. He agreed for short term. </p> <p>(I also have a job where I really need to see people evry day, so I chose to still commute every day instead of a T, Th thing. </p> <p>It's been two years and four bosses and no one is taking it away from me. I think saying 'this is what I need for my family' has worked BC they know I'm serious about it. Also, how do you say no to a trial? I do keep it to those who need to know. Just kinda slip out so people aren't all begging to wfh. </p> <p>It sounds bad, but if you have other options and are willing to quit, they'll feel that and be more likely to be accommodating. So know what you'd do if they said no and stick to it. Every employer is different. What worked for me might not work at another place. Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402701 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 07:28:33 +0000 looch 2402701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get it about part time not being an option. It's either full time or no time in the home office (there are some exceptions for people in the field). Working from home, though, means that you still have to have childcare for your kids, you really need to be able to work without interruptions in order for it to be above board.</p> <p>Given what you've written, I would ask if you can go on unpaid leave for a bit until you can get your son's issues sorted out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402698 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 07:17:04 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2402698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't feel bad for not bringing this up while you were on leave. At the end of the day you weren't supposed to be working and holding meetings, just letting your manager know that you intend to come back to work. (At least that's what I keep hearing our mat leave is like).</p> <p>Once you're back in the office and have access to employee handbook type materials I'd gather as much info on what you'd like to propose and set up a meeting with your manager within the first week. Propose an alternative schedule, but be prepared to give your two week's notice. If it comes to leaving your job you have two weeks to shop your resume while you're still employed. You may be able to find a job that is more flexible and has a shorter in your field so you can continue your career in your field.</p> <p>Is your SO able to make any work accommodations to help with the ongoing care of your son? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402663 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 02:43:49 +0000 Truth Bombs 2402663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that if you are really incapable of making your previous working hours work, then you needed to be prepared and able to quit if your boss says no. I wouldn't bring up your commute as a comparison between you and other employees, it's no one else's issue that you have chosen to live farther from the office. If I were your boss, I'll be honest I would have expected you to have brought this up sooner. Even if they are willing to work with you, it will take some time to get a new schedule organized and approved, during which time I would assume they'll expect you to work your regular hours. If I were you I would have tried to get an offer from a competitor who was willing to meet my schedule needs and then used that to negotiate with my current employer. So I would probably look around at other options a bit before approaching your boss, especially if you are asking for something very out of the norm for your company. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402644 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 00:55:07 +0000 wheres_c 2402644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did just this when I had LO #1. I set up a meeting with my boss before coming back, gave my idea of what would be reasonable and was prepared to quit if he said no. Luckily he said yes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402369 Mon, 28 Dec 2015 19:17:18 +0000 catomd00 2402369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I asked my boss while I was on maternity leave and it was no problem. At my new job, we had someone come back FT for 2 weeks before cutting back to 4 shorter days. I don't think it matters when you ask. Anything can happen at any time, things come up. Lots of people come back for a few weeks and quit realizing they can't do it! Just be honest and direct. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402368 Mon, 28 Dec 2015 19:16:08 +0000 BandDmommy 2402368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: What is your company's telecommuting policy? Does anyone else have a similar schedule? Do you have people that report to you? Do they have to be in the office core hours or is there flexibility? What is your seniority? Just some things to consider when trying to figure out how they will respond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402365 Mon, 28 Dec 2015 19:13:22 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2402365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>no advice here, but I just want to say good luck - that's a hard position to be in. If I were to ever have another child, this would be a concern of mine as well. I wouldn't want to leave my career (especially since my job requires working and CEU's to maintain my license), but I don't think I'd be ready to return FT with a 12-week-old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-work-after-mat-leave#post-2402358 Mon, 28 Dec 2015 19:11:07 +0000 MrsADS 2402358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I go back to work 1/4 after mat leave. I like what I do and overall my job is very family friendly - pretty good amount of sick/vacation, they're understanding and it's no problem if I need to leave early/come in late for a doctor's appointment or family issue or whatever. So I feel like in the long run this is probably a good place to be.</p> <p>But I have kind of a long commute and when it's all said and done, I'm going to be gone about 7:45-5:45 or 6pm. I don't think I want to be a SAHM but I have just realized that being gone 10+ hours a day is not going to work for our family. I cannot do it. My son is 4 months old and has a lot of GI issues- severe reflux and possible delayed gastric emptying - basically he cries and cries and just vomits all the time. We have a lot of doctor appts, his GI is sending us to see another specialist because he is not getting better.. I don't feel like I can be away from him so much with him being sick. I don't want to be away from him 10 hours a day, every day, no matter what age he is, even if he's healthy, but especially right now... I just can't do it.</p> <p>I don't want to quit my job but I feel like I can only do it if I can cut down my hours (go part time) or work from home a few days per week. Part time is probably not an option. </p> <p>I am trying to decide how to approach this. This week most of my office is on vacation for the holidays so I can't really call or talk to anyone until I go back on the 4th. Do I suck it up and go for a few weeks and then bring it up? Or do I go on the 4th to talk to my boss and be frank with her? We have a good relationship but I feel really guilty about this. I feel like maybe I should have talked to her about it earlier, but I thought my son would be doing better by now.</p> <p>If you did this, how did you approach it with your boss? I am thinking I need to have a few ideas ready for her (like, WFH Monday/Wed and in the office 7:30-3:30 TTF, or whatever). And, I guess I need to think about what I will do if they say no. We could swing it financially although it would be tight. More importantly is that I'd be stepping away from my field which would make it very difficult for my future career.</p> <p>If you did this with your job, how did it go? Were you successful? There are other people in my office who have young children and they all work the regular schedule (although, I don't know that any have asked and I have a longer commute than all of them). </p> <p>Thanks :happy: </p>