https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 05:13:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770539 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 16:33:23 +0000 daniellemybelle 2770539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just start sending her home after an hour every time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770487 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 13:59:21 +0000 nana87 2770487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I have a different take on this. How does your daughter react to the constant playing? Growing up my brother had friends like this who were always over, and as a little sister I was really jealous that he had such amazing, close friends. Like, my parents would buy snacks then realize no one in our family was eating them, just his friends. I basically grew up with 4 brothers instead of 1. I get that it's annoying as a mom or inconvenient, but I also would be hesitant to limit a budding friendship. I'd set some limits-- like you don't have to go outside with the baby, just say your kid can only play inside and the neighbor girl can either join inside or go play outside alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770481 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 13:19:47 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2770481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be direct with the kid for now. But I was an elementary teacher and don't mind bossing kids around haha. Much rather tell a kid no and set the rules with the kid than risk offending a parent and think of polite ways to say xyz. I'd only go to the parent if the kiddo doesn't cooperate. The parents seem pretty hands-off anyway and probably would not mind at all that you would communicate with the kid directly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770429 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 09:31:53 +0000 Freckles 2770429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SproutBee: I agree with your solution - i'm not a big fan of always having to schedule play dates, especially if they're neighbours! We had a next door neighbour who always wanted to come over after school, but we would either tell him "sorry, not today - insert reason" or i would text his mom to say "he can come over but is it okay if i send him home after an hour?" </p> <p>If she is asking you to go play outside and you can't because of the baby, i would just tell her, "sorry, we can't play outside now. maybe it's time for you to go home and we can play again tomorrow." I would then text the mom and say "She really wants to play outside but we can't because of the baby - do you think you can come pick her up in 5 minutes?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770418 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 08:48:57 +0000 Jennibenni 2770418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkcupcake: What if you start setting a timer? Tell her she can stay and play for 30 minutes and when the timer goes off, send her on her way. Kids for sure do not get subtlety or hints so you just have to be extremely direct. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770417 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 08:39:18 +0000 SweetiePie 2770417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Peasinapod: I think it's slightly different since you're with her so 1) the mom isn't babysitting your kid and 2) it's easier for her as an adult to say to another adult "now isn't a good time, let's try tomorrow?" Or after an hour say "we have to go inside now, see you later!"<br /> But that doesn't mean she always wants kid or adult visitors, that would be my concern. </p> <p>And you as the adult can proactively ask "is this a good time?" and not be offended if she says "actually, it's not". Maybe in light of this thread you can ask her for her number and text to ask if it's ok to come over. Or ask for a day or two of the week that work. And it sucks but you might just have to deal with a 3yo that is disappointed sometimes. Our apartment looks at a playground and I often have to tell my nearly 3yo that no, we can't go to the playground right now. At first he was pissed but now he knows that sometimes it's yes and sometimes it's no. </p> <p>Since it seems like the majority of the comments here are that they wouldn't like daily drop-ins. Personally, I would assume she's in that camp and depending on your relationship, ask her flat out how she feels or start taking precautions (like texting first). And maybe start bringing some wine with you :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770410 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 07:17:00 +0000 Peasinapod 2770410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sort of on the opposite side of this, my 3 year old adores her neighbours who are 5 and 2.5. She literally looks out the window waiting for them to get home and then begs to go outside. Since she's only 3 I am outside with her, but I'm sure the mom might get a bit annoyed that anytime she takes her girls out we appear. It makes my daughter so happy to play with the neighbours though so I'd be pretty crushed if the mom told her or me that she didn't like it.</p> <p>Also on the other end I can understand that it's not always a matter of just saying no to the other child when they ask. When we're coming home from somewhere and the neighbours ask to play my 3 year old again is devestated if I say no. So I can imagine it would be a similar situation if they rang the door bell. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770404 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 05:12:17 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2770404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meganmp: I like that flag idea especially for parents that have to work around naps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770403 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 01:18:46 +0000 808love 2770403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I would handle it the same as you. When our neighbor kids want to come over I freely say yes or no, not today. I also kick them out with a five minute warning. I'm sure if I trained them to clean up they either would or they would leave in a flash. DDis an only child so I definitely don't want to chase them away for good. They are sweet. I don't want to ever bring anything up to their parents unless it was an injury. When one of them ask for food every twenty minutes I just say no. I also teach manners. It's like raising a village. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770401 Tue, 29 Aug 2017 00:15:16 +0000 wrkbrk 2770401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkcupcake: Whoa not ok. Maybe I'm some weirdo but this arrangement would NOT be ok with me unless I had discussed it with the other parent. You don't need to be watching THREE kids daily for multiple hours.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770400 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 23:35:58 +0000 SproutBee 2770400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually agree with @T.H.O.U, I would just direct it at the kid for now. </p> <p>When she knocks, if you truly don't want her to come in, tell her your daughter can't play and don't let her in. There are two girls in my neighborhood, now about 9 and 8, that always play together. Buts it's always Girl A going over to Girl Bs house. I'd say about 50% of the time when Girl A knocks, Girl Bs dad turns her away. (They live across the street from me and I always see the exchange through our front window). Pretty quickly she'll learn the answer isn't always yes. </p> <p>Then when she's over, if you've had it, I agree w literally packing her up, walking her outside, and shutting the door behind her. There are a couple boys in my neighborhood near my sons age and he loves playing at their houses (he just turned 4 and I am always w him). If I let him, he would stay there all day. So I think it's normal for her to never *want* to leave. But it's your house so kick her out whenever you want!</p> <p>Personally, I wouldn't go the route of confronting her parents (but maybe bc I hate confrontation!)... or scheduling set play dates. Sooo much of our kids lives are structured and planned nowadays, there is almost something romantic about unstructured neighborhood play. There's not much left like when we grew up anymore... I think it's special. Just don't be afraid to say no on days you can't deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770397 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 23:14:39 +0000 gingerbebe 2770397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkcupcake: Yeah no I'm an introvert and that would not be okay for me. And I've had plenty of sassy small children not listen to me when I'm adulting and say it's time to go. They will just say "why? I don't want to." </p> <p>I would stop by and tell the parents that it's hard to supervise four kids alone unexpectedly, especially with the baby. It sounds like they have younger kids too so they must understand. Just say "we enjoy having your daughter over from time to time but it's hard for me to manage all four of them at once with the baby becoming so mobile these days. I'm sure you know how it is. Could we perhaps schedule play dates for about an hour on days you are free so we have enough eyes and ears on the kids? I'd be happy to host. I just wouldn't want anyone to get hurt on my watch." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770396 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 22:50:29 +0000 PinkElephant 2770396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkcupcake: I feel your pain! I am actively trying to avoid getting into your situation with a neighbor of ours. The little girl is seven, and tends to come over to play whenever she sees me outside with me 5, 3, and not-yet-1 year olds, or my other neighbor with her 2 year old. Her parents are often inside with her young siblings - I almost never see them out, and when the are, they don't leave their front yard (4 houses down from ours). It hasn't happened a ton, but whenever it does, she stays around FOR-EVER, and I feel like I have to supervise their play b/c of the ages of my little one. (and the fact that I don't know the family at all, really, and feel like I'm responsible for the girl if she's on my property). It's one thing to scurry out to the backyard with my girls if she's circling the street on her bike and I'm not up for adding a fourth child to my circus at the moment, but I would be really frustrated if she started coming to the door...which is unfortunately why I've kind of discouraged my kids from wanting to play with her.</p> <p>To me, at five, a playdate still means the moms come over - unless you are friends with the mom and trade off watching each other's kids, or are helping someone out in an emergency. If you got to know the mom better, would you be ok to have your daughter play at their house sometimes? If the girls like each other and you're open to working towards a more equal situation, maybe you could invite the mom over for coffee and propose some kind of standing playdate for all of you, which could then transition to you two giving each other a break one a week? :) :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770393 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 22:43:23 +0000 ALV91711 2770393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When the girl rings the door bell I'd tell her no if you don't feel like it. Just because she asks doesn't mean you guys have to play. </p> <p>There are lots of kids on our block who are always outside playing. They range in age from about 4-8. Most of them are out there unsupervised. They always want DS to come out and he is only 4. We don't let him go out front unsupervised. When kids ring the bell I'll just say no. </p> <p>If you are friendly with the mom I'd talk to her and set some boundaries. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770383 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 21:29:44 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2770383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkcupcake: not trying to be rude. Just saying I don't understand how you say the child "just will not leave". We have found for friends over they play by our rules (things like we aren't getting that toy out right now, or no playing outside right now, or it's time to go home). </p> <p>I wouldn't even confront the mom, just handle it yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770359 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 18:09:37 +0000 meganmp 2770359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parent had a somewhat similar situation- they were watching my twins when they were babies, and the neighbor girls would want to come over and "play" with the babies. They inevitably would ring the doorbell when the kids were napping, so my parents would put up a flag when it was OK for them to come over. Perhaps you could have a similar situation for when you were OK with the child visiting you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770358 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 17:37:14 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2770358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My girl's an only and I wasn't expecting friends over (unsupervised surprise visits) until she's well into grade school. But it started as soon as she turned 5. My house was not ready for surprise visits! :shocked: It's been happening for a few weeks now and it's a total game changer! We had to change our ways quick and now the dishes are put away ASAP :grin: We never had unannounced guests before and it's interesting how it drastically changes the logistics of everything! Meal times, buying extra kid-friendly alternatives, juice boxes, and of course cleaning and organizing. </p> <p>Overall, I'm glad she has friends and I'm glad that they're over, but the adjustment was just something I didn't expect to happen so soon! Another plus is it gives DH and some peace and quiet for a minutes without interruption ... at least until all the loud giggling and poop talks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770357 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 17:33:47 +0000 Chuckles 2770357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you think there could be a reason why the little girl doesn't want to be at home? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770356 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 17:16:05 +0000 catomd00 2770356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Obnoxious! But not the kids fault. I'd go next door and tell he parents you'd appreciate if they didn't send her over every day and you'd prefer they call you in advance to arrange a play date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770344 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 16:30:06 +0000 pinkcupcake 2770344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for hearing my vent! this is new to me - we used to live in an older neighborhood so this is the first time there are kids my daughter's age that live close by. It's nice to have friends to play with, but within reason. The mom seems nice so I'll prob just gently let her know the kids can play outside together for an hour or so in the afternoon but that's it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770342 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 16:24:55 +0000 josina 2770342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This would drive me insane too.<br /> A friend of mine has an open door policy at her house, there are 5 or 6 neighbor kids that will come and go all day, literally her door is wide open, they eat her food, make a MESS, etc.<br /> She is okay with it, but I would not be.</p> <p>That said, I'd set some boundaries now with her mom, maybe just certain days and certain times. Like Tuesday/Thursday from 1 to 3. And let her know that you don't want your daughter outside alone, so if her daughter wants to go outside, she can, but she isn't your responsibility at that point? Send a text that lets her know she's outside and not at your house anymore?</p> <p>AND, I wouldn't want it to balloon and suddenly you're house is like my friend's house. The horror. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770341 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 16:23:38 +0000 SweetiePie 2770341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: Uh yeah this. My first thought was sounds like the other mom has a cushy deal here. Her kid comes over and she gets a break while someone else watches for free!<br /> I too would a nicely as possible text or stop over and maybe even blame the baby - it's not ideal to have someone over all the time because baby naps/needs more attention. And if she still doesn't get it I would then say that you really want to be able to keep most of the week open for other plans/family time. So maybe arrange one day a week that she comes over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770339 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 16:19:37 +0000 pinkcupcake 2770339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I think I'm plenty adult, thank you. Not sure if that is how you intend to sound, but your comment comes across really rude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770337 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 16:15:35 +0000 misolee 2770337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some of our neighborhood kids do this too. Except my daughter is 5 (they even wanted her to come out and play when she was 3) and they are elementary students. Super sweet kids but literally doorbell was ringing everyday. On days when I don't want to go, I just told them my daughter could not play today. After a couple times, they stopped coming by. We still let her play outside sometimes but it's when we are free and not NBC the neighbors wants us to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770331 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 16:02:07 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2770331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkcupcake: Can't you be the adult and just tell her "Honey its time to go home" and make her clean up, put on her shoes and send her home. Maybe after sending her home after an hour or so for a few times, the mom will realize thats the max you can keep her? </p> <p>Also, for going outside, just say, "No, we aren't playing outside right now, we are playing inside and if you want to go out, you need to go home and tell your mom that you are going out alone" . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770324 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 15:46:12 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2770324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is similar to an experience I had with my younger brother and his neighbor friends. Basically, my bro would go over to their house all the time. The neighbors had a nanny and she was fed up. The dad neighbor called me and told me it was burdensome and the nanny needed a break sometime. Mind you I was not on the same authority level as a paid caregiver and he really should have talked to my parents. The nanny could have just told my bro he couldn't come over and play, which is what I did all the time to his friends. Lol</p> <p>Anyway, I say all this to say if you want it to stop go straight to her parents. You can limit some of the grief by suggesting they host sometimes or working out a time limit. Say a hour or two a day and they must come get her or be ready to receive her when you walk her back home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770319 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 15:29:05 +0000 Ina85 2770319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This would drive me insane! Can you talk to the girl's mother, letting her know it can't be all the time like this. You have a baby and can't watch her child all day.....this is rude of the parents to let her stay over for that long daily, are they oblivious or don't care that it's rude? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770318 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 15:27:21 +0000 MaryM 2770318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe see if the mom could call or text ahead if the daughter wants to come over? Then it might be easier to say "not today"? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770317 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 15:26:47 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2770317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you just answer the door and say sorry, dd is fillintheblank right now, we'll be outside later though! Or something like that. Maybe I'm uptight but I'm reading this post like "what is wrong with this kids parents!!" 😳 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighbor-kid-wants-to-play-all-the-time#post-2770316 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 15:23:44 +0000 pinkcupcake 2770316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, at first - not knowing this is how it would play out - I told her mom "she's free to come over and play!" 😬 I had no idea that would mean all. freaking. day. </p>