https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 04:54:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824291 Wed, 23 May 2018 12:31:49 +0000 Truth Bombs 2824291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just go talk to the parents. Tell them "listen, I understand you are comfortable with letting your kids roam free, but they often come to my house and I end up having to provide snacks, make sure the little one isn't in the street, referee sharing, etc. It's just too much for me to handle all 4 of them. The kids enjoy playing together so if you could join us we would love to have your children over. However, if you won't be available to help supervise, please ask your kids not to visit." I don't think that's at all rude or unacceptable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824264 Wed, 23 May 2018 10:31:19 +0000 mediagirl 2824264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would set up boundaries. If they come over and you can't deal, just say the kids can't play right now. In this case you're having to parent someone she's kid. So, you're allowed to say no. It'll be hard because your kids will want to play but you have to look out for you! Especially with kids under 5. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824262 Wed, 23 May 2018 10:26:50 +0000 Alba4 2824262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the 9 year old should roam around the neighborhood and doesn’t need supervision, but I wouldn’t let the 3 year old go... </p> <p>This is hard. Our neighbors have a 3 year old and they often hire an older neighborhood girl (that is 14) to watch and play with her. On Sunday afternoon they walked down to our house and played with my kids. (The only reason to come down our hill is to see us). I was a little annoyed only because my husband was moving the lawn and I was only planning on playing outside with my own boys for like 30 minutes before I started dinner. They didn’t really take the hint to leave, and i basically had to run inside to make them get a clue that the playtime was over.. I’m hoping this isn’t the trend... I don’t want to have to watch extra kids when I’ve got stuff to do. Ug, I sound so negative, but it does get annoying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824248 Wed, 23 May 2018 09:55:20 +0000 shabang 2824248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is pretty common. I understand why you have some different guidelines for your own children, given their age (and I would too). It sounds like you are overwhelmed, so can you set some parameters around playtime with the neighbors? I would let kids work out their own toy sharing, but if it becomes an issue, the toy goes away while the neighbors are over. If your kids want a snack, playtime is over, now it's snacktime, time to say goodbye to our friends. I think some parents are fine loosely watching a group of mixed-age kids (in my old neighborhood, everyone just ran around together, and there was always a parent nearby but not necessarily interacting with the group), but you shouldn't have to be uncomfortable, so I would decide what your personal limit is and enforce it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824246 Wed, 23 May 2018 09:53:34 +0000 snowjewelz 2824246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: Probably because my kids are so young that I can never imagine them being responsible and mature, haha! And </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824244 Wed, 23 May 2018 09:50:45 +0000 looch 2824244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wasn't allowed to roam free and I am not allowing my son to do that either...so when kids come over to our house from the neighborhood, if I don't know the parents, they can't stay and play. I have no issue telling this to kids and then just moving my son into the backyard, which is fully fenced in and private. We sometimes play in the driveway and on the front lawn and this is typically when we have the kids hop off their bikes and ask to play. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824242 Wed, 23 May 2018 09:47:34 +0000 Becky 2824242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I would and have and have seen lots of parents do it in my neighborhood! 9 is surprisingly mature (maybe not a boy but definitely a girl). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824234 Wed, 23 May 2018 09:36:30 +0000 snowjewelz 2824234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure if I'd let a 9 year old supervise a 3 year old outside.... And I totally get where you're coming from. They're not your responsibility but of course you can't just turn a blind eye on them. I'm not sure what you can really do; except if you ever witness something dangerous, or a situation you had to step in to keep them safe, then you can tell the parents what you had to do? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824200 Wed, 23 May 2018 07:32:05 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2824200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I honestly don't know. I don't break up squabbles over toys right now between my two kids. I do tell my kids to share, but we are working on that with mine right now. They are often in a different room from me and playing. Unless there is major crying, I don't interfere. I don't think that I would change that policy with other kids around. They have to learn to work things out. </p> <p>We don't have snacks for my kids. They get breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I've only done snacks when out at places, particularly when they are missing meals. For example, we went out and had a large breakfast a bit later than normal. I gave the kids a small snack around what would have been lunch. They fell asleep in the car on the way home, got a snack afterwards and then had dinner. </p> <p>Right now, we live in an apartment and someone is always with them while we are outside. If my kids ask for a snack and I have one, I'll give them one and probably (if I have enough) a snack for the others as well. </p> <p>When we have been in our apartment playroom, other parents have given snacks. If they offered DS something, I'd let him have it, but he didn't need it, and I often stated that it wasn't necessary to feed him. I also told DS that we had food at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824195 Wed, 23 May 2018 06:46:35 +0000 DesertDreams88 2824195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is fine. I don't feel like you "need" to supervise them- just bc someone chooses not to watch their kids, doesnt mean they are your responsibilify.</p> <p>If your kids playing with them means you have to supervise them, then, don't let your kids play with them? </p> <p>If that isn't an option bc your kids really like them, then contact the parents and just tell them the kids have been at your house a lot and your like to trade off and arrange a playdate at their house instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824193 Wed, 23 May 2018 06:39:00 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2824193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Toad: how would you want a parent that feels impacted by your decision to proceed?</p> <p>For instance, I am assuming that if you were outside with your kids and hers asked her for a snack you would tell your kids that you all have snacks at home. Everyone then would feed their own kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824187 Wed, 23 May 2018 06:05:36 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2824187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I would be this parent. My kids are only 3 and 1, so not yet. I have put my at the time 2 year old by himself in the back yard at my parents without any supervision. </p> <p>I was running around with neighbor kids by that age with a four year old brother on our quiet cul-de-sac road. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824175 Tue, 22 May 2018 23:46:18 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2824175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was allowed to roam free at 9 yrs old and maybe would have had my brother, 7 years younger, with me. Often not though because he was a handful. I have noticed school age kids on bikes and on foot outside in my neighborhood wiyhout their parents. </p> <p>Could you and your kids play in your backyard? Or once your kids ask for snack that signals playtime is over? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824150 Tue, 22 May 2018 20:44:20 +0000 polkaspots 2824150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: lol yeah I don’t intentionally offer snacks, it’s mostly my kiddo will ask for something and then want to share. I do provide water if they ask because it’s hot and they play hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824148 Tue, 22 May 2018 20:38:46 +0000 polkaspots 2824148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ineebee: I’ve truly only met them maybe once or twice and just for a moment. It seems like they basically tell the kids to go outside until a certain time (the older girl frequently asks what time it is as it gets later in the evening). I’ve said things like “maybe you should make sure your parents are okay with you having a snack!” to try to get her to check in with them, in hopes the parents would come outside, and we’ve even played in their yard a little (the kids mostly stay in our yard because I don’t like for mine to go too far even though it’s a cul de sac) but the parents rarely have even popped their head out the door. </p> <p>@Becky: I’m not sure I’d feel any differently if they were home washing dishes or putting away laundry lol I’d love the luxury of only folding my laundry once instead of my kids yanking piles of folded clothes into the floor or the luxury of loading the dishwasher without the kids trying to “help” 🤣</p> <p>My kids really like them and it’s not like they cause trouble... it’s just extra kids to watch! My younger kiddo definitely doesn’t understand staying out of the street and the 3ish year old neighbor boy is pretty iffy about it too, so between keeping them out of the street, refereeing squabbles over toys, dragging toys in and out of the house/garage, supplying water/snacks, etc., it’s just exhausting trying to keep up with them all! I feel like I’m playing a giant game of whack-a-mole, get one of them out of the street and then there’s a squabble over a toy, then someone’s trying to go into the backyard/garage, redirect them and then someone is asking for water/snack, then someone else is taking off down the road, etc. I guess I’d just love their parents’ company/extra set of hands! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824146 Tue, 22 May 2018 20:34:28 +0000 Corduroy 2824146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@polkaspots: I’m on a quiet cul de sac with lots of kids. At the moment my 5 yo is next door but I’m watching my almost 3 yo. I don’t let him go into the neighbors’ houses because he would never leave and want to go every day. </p> <p>In addition to what others have said I wouldn’t feed them. Thats mainly because I don’t like when my neighbors so nicely feed my kids. They are less likely to come back home at a reasonable time and DS has a nut allergy. </p> <p>I struggle with hoping the other parents on my block don’t think I’m using them. Their kids won’t come to my house because we have “baby stuff” not cool older kid things. (And the one time the older kids came over they said my house smelled like poop. It was true. A guest put a poopy diaper in our guest bathroom and didn’t tell me.) Couple that with my next door neighbor being from Japan and the epitome of polite and hospitable. I keep searching for subtle potion GTFO clues but can’t find any. There’s no way my 5yo could pick any up so I hope she’s more direct with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824141 Tue, 22 May 2018 20:19:38 +0000 Mama Bird 2824141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this was pretty common for older generations, and it is a quiet street... also, any chance the parents may be keeping an eye on them through a window? </p> <p>Or maybe they're telling them they're going to your house and they're not worried. That said, have the parents ever met you? If they're letting the kids hang out at the home of someone they don't know, they do seem kind of neglectful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824137 Tue, 22 May 2018 20:14:54 +0000 Foodnerd81 2824137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That seems odd to me (in this day and age, not for our own childhood I guess). My neighbors have a 9 year old girl and 6 year old boy, and they definitely play outside alone (while mom or dad is inside doing something- I doubt watching tv!) but they don’t leave their property. On rare occasions she has sent them up to the cul de sac (closer to my house) while we were texting and mom came up 20 minutes later. </p> <p>But I have no idea how I’d feel in five years when my kids are older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824136 Tue, 22 May 2018 20:14:02 +0000 Becky 2824136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is pretty common where I live. There are two blocks next to our playground where tons of kids about the same age live. Talking to the mom who lives right across from the playground and also SAH so inevitably ends up with anywhere from 3-5 kids who aren’t hers at her house any given evening, she seems to have identified which kids she is okay with having at her house and which she isn’t. It’s all about who plays well with her kids. She doesn’t outright tell the kids she doesn’t feel comfortable with that they can’t come over (it seems like she just has a way to avoid it) and has talked to the kids about some issues. If I know the kids and their families I’m fine with it because I know they would never just sit home and watch tv and let their kids run wild: it would be because they were busy doing something (like being a single mom, or doing yard work, etc.). I have definitely dealt with weird/difficult situations (talking to a 9 year old about wearing appropriate clothing when she was trying to show off for boys, helping a new boy who is autistic and can’t deal with pain figure out how to get home with a bloody foot, and also sending kids home when I know they shouldn’t be wherever they are). So I guess I think your situation is weird because they’re sitting at home watching TV—it seems both like a luxury and antisocial. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824133 Tue, 22 May 2018 20:10:00 +0000 PinkElephant 2824133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@polkaspots: We had a kind of similar situation (except the girl is 7-8 and didn't bring her younger siblings, just herself)...she would come pretty far (3-4 houses down) into the cul-de-sac to play with my daughters, who were 3 and 5, and never seemed to just go home unless we went and hid inside. :) Like you, I totally felt like I had to supervise her interactions with my kids more heavily than if it were only my own children, to ensure that they were sharing with her, taking turns on our swings, etc. In our case, it turned out that she was doing this when a relative watched her, and her parents were mortified to find out that she had been dumping herself on us, haha.</p> <p>If you want to be nicer about it, can you say something to the parents like "Hey, I'd love to chat with you the next time the kids are playing together outside/I'd love some company"...that sort of message? Or if they're really coming into your yard, not just the street, tell the nine year old "Tell your mom I really can't watch four kids at once, but I'd love it if she'd come out and we can all play". When all else fails, I take my kids inside for lunch/a snack, and say we'll be back out later...then generally hide out in the backyard. :) :) :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824131 Tue, 22 May 2018 20:07:56 +0000 ineebee 2824131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be really annoyed! Not that the parents are doing anything particularly horrible, but I understand how you’re made to feel responsible for them since you have to be outside supervising, and it kinda feels like the other parents are benefiting from that without acknowledging it. </p> <p>I would start by doing some reconnaissance. I’ve learned that it’s always best to give the benefit of the doubt, and in this situation, I might try to get to know the parents under the guise of “I just wanted to introduce myself!” or something harmless. You may not learn anything, but you might, or it might give the other parents the opportunity to at least acknowledge that you’ve been supervising their children. I dunno. </p> <p>But yes. I’d be super annoyed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824127 Tue, 22 May 2018 19:39:35 +0000 gotkimchi 2824127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is how our childhood was and all of the parents would kick us out or tell us to move on etc. so do whatever your comfortable with and if they’re annoying just say hey time to go back to your own house </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824126 Tue, 22 May 2018 19:34:04 +0000 polkaspots 2824126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Someone: lol the other day she said they were watching tv but who knows. I’m just a little jealous if they are 🤣 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824125 Tue, 22 May 2018 19:30:40 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2824125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, I doubt the parents are really sitting around relaxing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824124 Tue, 22 May 2018 19:28:45 +0000 polkaspots 2824124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Someone: we don’t let them inside and we try to keep them out of the backyard. I spent a lot of time running the roads during my childhood too, which is why I feel bad for feeling kind of annoyed by this, but because they’re all so young, I feel overwhelmed trying to supervise them all. The older girl is super sweet but she’s still pretty young too, so sometimes she can make slightly impulsive/not-so-safe choices that we feel like we have to step in and help with. The last few afternoons, a couple of her neighborhood friends have come over too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824123 Tue, 22 May 2018 19:27:49 +0000 erinbaderin 2824123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>9 seems fine to me, but I would definitely not let a 3 year old run around without adult supervision! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824121 Tue, 22 May 2018 19:23:27 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2824121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was pretty much my childhood with my across the street neighbors. We ran wild around the street and cul de sacs, with one much older brother. If you don’t want to watch the other kids, don’t let them inside? It will get easier when they’re all a little older though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/neighborhood-kids-is-this-common#post-2824120 Tue, 22 May 2018 19:19:16 +0000 polkaspots 2824120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live on a cul-de-sac in a quiet neighborhood. One family turns their two kids (3ish boy and 9ish girl) loose with very little supervision. The older child watches the younger one, keeping him out of the street (not that there are many cars that come down our street, just neighbors) keeping him out of trouble, etc. The kids are nice and my kids enjoy playing with them, but it kind of bothers me that their parents are NEVER around. I’ve met them once or twice. While the 9 year old does a good job of keeping the younger kiddo out of trouble, we still feel like we’re “watching” them when they’re at our house because we’re breaking up squabbles over toys, reminding them to stay out of the street, providing water/snacks, and just generally supervising the situation because they’re young and sometimes try to do stuff that isn’t totally safe. </p> <p>My kids are 5 and almost 2, so I don’t feel comfortable leaving mine unattended. I think that might be why I feel weird about the situation, but DH has expressed some frustration. From things the older child has said, we think the parents are home watching tv/hanging out, which if I’m being totally honest, annoys me! I feel like I have my hands full keeping an eye on my two. </p> <p>Is this typical? I feel like I can’t really say or do anything, we’re not truly baby-sitting them, and our kids enjoy their company, but it just feels odd! </p>