https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 10:51:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2252390 Sun, 02 Aug 2015 10:46:12 +0000 BSB 2252390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great thread to read and remember. I know I'm a planner so I tend to forget about emotional part of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2017152 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 15:07:52 +0000 MrsRcCar 2017152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@newatthis: Big Hugs momma!! :heart: :heart: NICU is no joke. I cried everytime I left without E and just about panicked eveytime my phone rang and I wasn't with him. Ask your nurse to include you more in your twins care. E did 100% better with me then the nurses. Sometimes all they need is skin to skin with their momma. The Neonatelogist that cared for E was great at making sure that I was armed with a ton of knowledge. I always made sure I was there for rounds so I could discuss E's care. It made me feel involved and important. Hope your little ones get to come home soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2017139 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 15:01:53 +0000 ballerinabee 2017139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@newatthis: I felt very much the same as you when my LO was in the NICU. We also had a comparatively short stay (2 weeks, and he too was a 33 weeker, but only one of him), but it is heartbreaking. The NICU is a roller coaster to begin with, let alone factoring in your new-mom emotions and the hormonal changes your body is going through.</p> <p>Be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up for how you feel whether you feel good, bad, or indifferent. You're going through a lot of big scary changes, and there are lots of different things you'll feel or not feel.</p> <p>Like everyone else said, be as involved as you can be, but also remember to rest. You can't be of any good to your babies if you're not taking care of yourself. Sleep, shower, eat, rest, and love your babies. </p> <p>I'm here too if you ever need to vent / talk / ask questions / etc.</p> <p>&lt;hugs&gt; and a big congratulations, Mom! :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2017082 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 14:40:44 +0000 jhd 2017082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@newatthis: thinking of you. Hope you are having a good day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2011300 Tue, 06 Jan 2015 07:05:42 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2011300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a nicu parents but a nicu nurse and your feelings can be very common among other NICU mommies. Are you doing skin to skin with them or allowed to breastfeed yet? Do your nurses allow you to help with cares like taking their temp, bathing, changing diapers? I know its hard but just remember its temporary and they know You are their mommy. Congrats! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010947 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 20:53:24 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2010947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First, congrats on the arrival of your twins! It's a crazy, sometimes exhausting ride, but it's so much fun to be a twin mama, and one day soon you'll start to feel that. </p> <p>Our boys were only in the NICU for a little over a week, but I think it's normal to have a variety of emotions, including feeling like they belong more to the hospital than to you right now. Though our stay was much shorter than yours, a couple of things that helped us feel bonded was spending as much time as we could with them (again, our stay was shorter, so this was easier for us), insisting the nurses teach us how to do all of the care that we were possibly able to do, and trying to do as much "normal" things as we could, like read a story, say a prayer and "tuck them in" at night before we left, etc. Eventually, you'll start feeling more like a mom, and when you come home and the awesome chaos of newborn twins starts up, you'll definitely feel very much like they are yours and that no one knows them like you guys do. Hang in there, mama, and while I can't offer much advice about extended NICU stays, if you want to talk anything about twins, please message me on my wall. You're doing a great job! Just keep taking one day at a time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010706 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 18:06:28 +0000 Mrs.ThinMint 2010706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 27 weeker and we had an 11 week NICU stay. I think what you're feeling is normal. Having him be in the NICU that long was the hardest thing I've ever done. He didn't feel 100% mine until he was home. Please wall me if you want to talk. Being in the NICU is so so hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010690 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 18:00:57 +0000 newatthis 2010690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@petunia354: I went to the grocery store yesterday and almost broke down in the "snack" isle after seeing that everyone and their cousins were there. It was just soooo overwhelming. I also had a break down at target today in the "soda" isle because I felt no one would ever had known I was a mom. I was wearing a huge sweatshirt and no sign of kids in sight. Its just a lot to handle. But, you're totally right. Thank you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010509 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 16:06:43 +0000 MrsScallop 2010509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know how you feel! My little guy has been in NICU/PICU for 3 weeks now and I've only been able to hold him 3 or 4 times, which has made it really difficult to feel like his mom. But I know it will come in time. I didn't even feel like a mother to my first LO for a few months, and she came home right away. Be patient with yourself and one day you will realize you are more attached than you thought you could be. I am glad your LOs are doing well and hope their stay in the NICU isn't too much longer! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010503 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 16:03:19 +0000 MarieJ 2010503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's very normal to feel that way. Our NICU stay for DD 1 was 10 days and that felt like an eternity. The night I left the hospital without my daughter was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Once I got more involved, like changing diapers, BF'ing, etc, she felt more like she was indeed mine. Good luck mama! Prayers for a short stay for your twins. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010450 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 15:32:44 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2010450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Very normal feeling! Honestly I think all new moms go through this to some extent (since I had one baby with no nicu time and one with 2 months I initially). It's a new confusing role you find yourself in, compounded by the nicu! Cut yourself some slack :) I hope they're home in no time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010409 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 15:13:14 +0000 psw27 2010409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely didn't know what to do at first. As I got more involved (doing diaper changes, BF, giving the bottles once he was off the feeding tube) I became super attached. I also just tried to be there as much as humanly possible (usually 8 am-9 pm) which made for long days but made me feel involved and like his mama. Hang in there!! xoxo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010404 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 15:09:23 +0000 blackbird 2010404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>E was there for a week and she didn't really feel like mine until we were home. Especially when the nurse booted us from the hospital one day because E apparently got overstimulated and wasn't resting well enough with us there. I definitely felt like the nurses knew her more than me, especially since I was only there about 8 hours a day or so. Plus i always felt like someone was watching me in the NICU. Being at home is 100x better </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010372 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 14:49:29 +0000 petunia354 2010372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's a totally normal feeling to feel like they aren't "yours". Our 3 week stay was pretty short but felt like an eternity. I remember going to the grocery store one night with DH after we had been at the NICU all day and I just felt like screaming to everyone "I HAVE A BABY" because I felt so lost without him there with me and also to convince myself that I *was* a mother, even though my baby wasn't home with me. It gets better and hopefully you will be home very very soon with your little ones. I'm so sorry you are going through this! My suggestion would just be to spend as much time with them as you can, holding them if you can and doing "normal" things like reading to them, singing to them, giving them baths if they will let you.</p> <p>Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010358 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 14:45:04 +0000 Raindrop 2010358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry to hear this!! I'm glad they are well otherwise.</p> <p>Our baby had jundice and was in the NICU for 4 days after birth ... long story... gave birth during a high birth time at the hospital so we were sent to the NICU instead of the peds because of overflow issues.</p> <p>I did feel pretty detached but at the same time I was not feeling very confident as a parent at the time and was glad to get a few extra days of nurses and doctors to make sure our baby was doing well.</p> <p>After we got home though... I think my lack of confidence did get the better of me and I didn't actually feel attached till about 3-4 months old. Now everything is great (he's almost 3 and I'm expecting another boy this month). I'm sure everything will be fine for you. Good luck! :)</p> <p>Hopefully other NICU moms can chime in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010356 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 14:44:50 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2010356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt like that at the beginning but as I got to "know" my baby it got much easier and once he was home...everything was basically normal! (I have a two year old 25-weeker who spent nearly 5 months in the NICU.</p> <p>Good luck to all of you! You should be able to start feeding by bottle (or breast) soon which will a new way to bond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010344 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 14:40:01 +0000 littleveesmommy 2010344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*hugs* I don't have any experience with NICU stays but just wanted to send along some love. I've read of other HB NICU moms who had difficult stays and what they did to feel more involved - Mrs. Pom Pom wrote a few blog posts on her experience with NICU with her daughter Iris. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010323 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 14:33:21 +0000 jhd 2010323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you are going through this. My son wasn't a preemie but spent 7 weeks in the NICU due to some health issues when he was born this spring. I loved my baby and was attached to him, but the bonding really took off when we got home, especially for my husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nicu-twins#post-2010265 Mon, 05 Jan 2015 14:08:48 +0000 newatthis 2010265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My twins are 2 weeks old today, which means they have been in the NICU for 2 weeks. The only time I feel like they are mine, or that I am indeed a "mom" is when I am there in the NICU holding them. Then, I go home empty handed and go on as if I never had them (grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning up house). Is this normal? Moms/Dads with experience in the NICU...did you feel like this? Overcome this when your baby/babies came home? I am so afraid that I am just starting to feel detachment. They were born 7weeks earlier than their due date. They are doing great in the hospital. Doctors/nurses say although we are feeling antsy, they will be home "soon" but won't give us a timeline besides "by their due date". </p>