https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 20:48:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2885079 Mon, 20 May 2019 14:39:50 +0000 PawPrints 2885079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm stunned that SIL/brother would think it's okay to ask you to drive 3 hours round trip to see this. I would definitely not go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884915 Fri, 17 May 2019 20:57:32 +0000 winter_wonder 2884915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't go. This is just my opinion, but I think parents should be the only ones obligated to go! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884871 Fri, 17 May 2019 12:40:13 +0000 JCCovi 2884871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a "yes" person so take that it mind ;) I would definitely go, but would have DH keep the kiddo outside the venue until your niece goes on. We definitely are ok flexing bedtime when something special comes up though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884833 Fri, 17 May 2019 00:38:47 +0000 turquoisemama 2884833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: I would say leave your hubby home but you should definitely go. Coming from the other moms perspective, my daughter had a dance show where she was only on stage for 3 minutes but it was soooo freaking adorable and I was super proud of her for getting out of her comfort zone. My sister decided not to come because she would only be onstage for a couple minutes. It was honestly pretty hurtful and I wished that she had been there to share that special moment. It’s not just couple of minutes, it’s months of hard work and practice and just think of how proud your niece will be to show you what she’s been working on. I think it will mean a lot if you go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884817 Thu, 16 May 2019 18:36:03 +0000 erinbaderin 2884817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: I LOVE this. I am also a no person. Solidarity! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884816 Thu, 16 May 2019 18:23:32 +0000 pachamama 2884816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some people are "yes" people, and I am a NO person and I would definitely say no to this!! C'mon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884800 Thu, 16 May 2019 14:50:33 +0000 misolee 2884800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would def go.</p> <p>I would pause and think about my kids personality and see if they can handle it and then decide if they should go. My current six year old would have loved to watch her older cousin at two years old. My son can’t sit through anything whose currently 3. My one year old can. Depends on kids. </p> <p>My oldest daughter is a people person and she wants everyone and anyone there at soccer games, piano recitals, school performances, etc. If your niece is like that, you definitely need to go over just sending flowers. It will mean the world to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884795 Thu, 16 May 2019 13:55:16 +0000 erinbaderin 2884795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally would skip it completely and send my niece flowers - as a kid I would have been more excited about that than having an extra family member in the audience. But if you feel like somebody should be there I would definitely go alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884792 Thu, 16 May 2019 13:28:42 +0000 Petitduck 2884792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’d definitely go alone. Bringing the 2 year old would suck for so many reasons: long trip, bedtime, long show, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884781 Thu, 16 May 2019 12:38:43 +0000 smuckers 2884781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: But then at least I could choose the matinee, lol. </p> <p>@Anagram: first recital ever for any of my nieces, not sure if my SIL did dance as a kid and would honestly know what a recital is like. and she'll be in 1 performance out of 36 during that recital (she's either performance number 23 or 31) :silly: </p> <p>Thank you everyone for your input. It's helped me solidify that I'll be going to go on my own, and will have DH stay home with DD. I'll reimburse my mom the cost of any tickets she bought that will go unused. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884777 Thu, 16 May 2019 12:19:45 +0000 Anagram 2884777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: oh gosh, I would have said no at the beginning, lol. My oldest is taking a Broadway style class at a dance studio, and she is in the recital for the 3rd year in a row--the recitals are SO LONG when you are only waiting for your kiddo's 1 number. It's going to be like 5 minutes of a 2 hour show. I definitely would not expect a bunch of other family members to go. Have they not been in a recital before? I'd feel different if the kid were in 3-4 classes, and would appear on stage 3-4 times. But if she's in 1 performance out of like 16? SKIP.</p> <p>I even have 2 kids in the recital this year, and I'm still dreading sitting around while other people's kids bumble around onstage. Like, it's cute for the first few numbers but then it gets old fast, because I don't know any of the kids.</p> <p>Can you tell I'm not a dance mom? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884776 Thu, 16 May 2019 12:17:53 +0000 Foodnerd81 2884776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ha- my 5 year old has a recital coming up and I didn’t even ask anyone else if they want to come. I mentioned it jokingly to my Bil and Sil who are an hour away but not like they might actually want to come. </p> <p>Given that it’s late, I would tell them just you are coming. Maybe some of her classmates could use the extra tickets? That would be miserable with your 2 year old. Even last year I brought my then 2 year old and dh walked outside with her for half of the recital. And our school has 4 different performances so none of them are that long (like each student only performs in one, so you don’t have to watch every single student in the school). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884774 Thu, 16 May 2019 12:00:48 +0000 Andrea 2884774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You agreed knowing the date so it being your anniversary isn't relevant. My nephew does a lot of plays and they can have 1 matinee and 1 night show, fyi for future reference. So a play could definitely be at night, too! </p> <p>I would go by yourself since it will mean a lot to your niece. I totally get not bringing a 2 year old so I hope they can understand. </p> <p>We get a lot of dance invites from DD's friends and we just suck it up and go from time to time. Do I enjoy paying $50 for me plus DD to go to a kid recital? Not really, but they really appreciate it and we buy flowers, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884772 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:50:18 +0000 graceandjoy 2884772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: Our relationship with in-laws and my SIL's family is really good, if I put myself in your situation, I literally would just be like man! I didn't realize this doesn't start till 6pm! I know mom got the tix already, but I think DH will just stay home with DD but I'll be there! The end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884771 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:44:50 +0000 Autumnmama79 2884771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: Yikes. DD danced at a hoity toity studio for a year but thats next level insane! The no video taping is fairly standard, I was referring to you watching the professional video her parents would likely purchase. But for the flowers?! Omg thats kind of nuts. And as for no getting up during performance? I mean yes thats important, especially when you're paying big bucks to see a broadway show, but a childs dance recital? Cmon. We took DS to watch DD's recital last spring, he was 2 years old. I probably got up with him 6 times to go walk around the lobby and he spent time playing with his cars in the aisle. We made sure to sit way up high to minimize distraction, but really no one cared - they're all so bored watching other peoples kids dance :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884770 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:44:00 +0000 smuckers 2884770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: That's where I'm leaning, as well (just me going down to see her). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884769 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:40:57 +0000 smuckers 2884769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: You're right, they do sound like a bunch of excuses. That's another part of why I'm really torn on what to do. I'm NOT flake-y, and I do not like appearing so. </p> <p>I do actually want to go; she's so excited about her class and I really want to see her, even if it's only for 5 minutes on stage. DH is neutral on it. I also want to be realistic about if it's something my family can handle. </p> <p>In the end, it's 100% my fault for assuming and not confirming logistics beforehand, absolutely. Distance and date are honestly not that big of a deal for us, the time of the performance is the issue (that wasn't released until after we'd already committed to going; again, my fault for not waiting to say yes). If the recital was at, say, 4, we'd all be trotting down, no questions asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884766 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:34:26 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2884766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’d skip and reimburse your mom. There’s multiple reasons to skip at the same time they sound like a bunch of excuses that you could have initially said no in the first place. Like distance and date are easy deal breakers to decline an invite right away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884765 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:30:58 +0000 graceandjoy 2884765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely hope everyone is okay with just you going, and if I were you I'd def go since it's your niece and you made the commitment. If she knows you had planned to come, she would be disappointed.</p> <p>I am pretty strict about bed time when they are that young, plus it doesn't even seem like it would be an appropriate place for a 2 year old who would have a hard time sitting still/being quiet esp if overtired at that point. </p> <p>So my plan would be go myself, then maybe treat niece to lunch/dinner later on (if you even feel that's needed). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884764 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:29:24 +0000 smuckers 2884764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pollywog: Not enough room for us at my brother's (small apartment that is perfect for their family but no visitors). Someone I talked to IRL suggested a hotel room, but honestly that's more expensive than just eating the cost of the tickets. </p> <p>Brother will totally understand whichever way we go, and he'll sell SIL on that choice (she'll be upset initially if we don't go, but will 100% understand after the show is over, guaranteed). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884763 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:25:01 +0000 smuckers 2884763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: I'm asking my mom about it because she's the one who bought the tickets for us. $20 per ticket. Unsure if she bought one for DD as well, the age for needing a ticket is 2+, and DD will have turned 2 literally days beforehand. Mom can be kind of a girl scout, but is also thrifty, so literally could go either way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884762 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:22:39 +0000 Pollywog 2884762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: I went to one of those studios and a 2 year old would not be welcome. I'd call your SIL and would say something like "When I agreed to go to the play I had some incorrect assumptions about the formality and length of the recital. There's no way DD will succeed in that environment. We we're thinking that she and DH would stay home." </p> <p>Or could you spend the night with your brother? Have your daughter start out at the performance and have your husband take her back to their house when she falls apart? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884761 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:22:29 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2884761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn’t ask your mom her opinion. I would tell your brother that your 2 year old will be a disaster there and you’ll come alone. I would go only because you told your niece you would.</p> <p>ETA: also that’s very nice of you to go. My kids were in a dance recital and had no one come watch when everyone else we knew did. Kind of a bummer but our family is further away I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884760 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:16:26 +0000 smuckers 2884760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: My impression from their website is that this is a very "prestigious" studio that is very strict when it comes to performance etiquette. Like, no getting up from your seats during a performance or you'll be asked to leave (I agree it's disruptive tbh), no videos or pictures during the performance (buy our recital DVD instead!), if you want to bring flowers please pre-order using this specific vendor and pick it up at the recital. It's one of the reasons I'm so nervous about bringing DD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884759 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:10:05 +0000 smuckers 2884759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: Honestly, I don't super care about the fact that it's *on* my anniversary. It's a bummer, but like, whatever. I'm way, WAY more nervous about my loud, movement-focused 2 year old having to sit through a dance recital. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884758 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:06:03 +0000 Autumnmama79 2884758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: An hour and a half is a REALLY long way to go for a dance recital. I would say just go yourself, but then it falls on your anniversary so that kind of sucks. Hopefully your mom is understanding...</p> <p>ETA There will surely be a video of her 5 minutes of fame, so you can be sure not to miss her performance. Also, Send a bouquet with your mom to give niece on your behalf? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884757 Thu, 16 May 2019 11:04:39 +0000 DillonLion 2884757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd probably suck it up and go, but the time commitment is pretty insane. I'd go and be annoyed :) Can any of those people babysit your DD so you can celebrate your anniversary near that date? Maybe DD can go home with your parents or SIL/brother and you can go celebrate on your own? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nieces-recital-wwyd#post-2884756 Thu, 16 May 2019 10:55:51 +0000 smuckers 2884756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Need some advice on how to proceed. </p> <p>My lovely, delightful niece (7) has been taking a musical theater class, and is having a recital on June 1. My SIL and brother asked me months ago if I'd like to go ("to her play" is how they phrased it), and of course I said yes. My mom generously bought the tickets for us.</p> <p>As we get closer, I've now gotten the details. It was sold to me as a play; really it's a recital. As in, a dance recital (her class takes place at a dance studio). The performance is at 6pm an hour and a half away from my home. According to the recital line-up, she is the 23rd performance of the night and will be on stage for less than 5 minutes.</p> <p>If it were just me going, I'd be totally up for it. Even if it were just DH and I. But we'd also be bringing our 2 year old DD. Whose bedtime is usually 7:30. Because when we said yes we thought the play would be at like, 4. We shouldn't have assumed, but also... niece is 7. We could technically get a sitter, but it would be the very first time she's had a sitter other than our parents, and no one has ever put her to bed other than me or DH. </p> <p>I've already emailed my mom asking her if she'd be upset if DH stayed home with DD. I'm really hoping that she'll understand. </p> <p>Separate, not-sure-if-relevant notes: I'm 6 months pregnant, and recital is on mine and DH's 5 year wedding anniversary. </p> <p>What would you ladies do? </p>