https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 26 May 2026 09:12:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-818310 Thu, 30 May 2013 13:27:02 +0000 DigAPony 818310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing. Picking her up would probably wake her up all the way, she might start crying, etc. Seems like it will help her learn to self-soothe also. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-818295 Thu, 30 May 2013 13:22:58 +0000 birdofafeather 818295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>you're doing great! i need to give DD a couple more minutes of fussing before i get her up. there are times where i think, hm, maybe i should have waited longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817490 Thu, 30 May 2013 10:16:36 +0000 Silva 817490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are a great mum, and I echo all the other comments. I just wanted to add I cannot believe what a good sleeper you have! I get excited about 4 hour stretches! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817434 Thu, 30 May 2013 10:01:22 +0000 mrs. wagon 817434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wagon Jr. has woken with at least one crying night waking every nice ever since he was a baby. I went through years (literally!) of guilt over it. We tried everything-- earlier bedtime, later bedtime, water/milk before bed, no water/milk before bed, changing bedtime routine, spending more time, spending less time, adding a nightlight, adding two nightlights... honestly everything you could think of. But most nights he stirs (and most nights cries) at 9pm and midnight on the DOT. </p> <p>The times we tried to go to him and help him it only made it worse. When we try to comfort him and hold him he just gets absolutely hysterical. So after learning our lesson multiple times we now just leave him be, and if he gets hysterical we talk to him over the monitor. He's 3.5 now so we tell him to use his words and tell us what's wrong, and usually he doesn't respond, so we tell him to lie down and stop crying. When he's really bad, the only thing that will snap him out of it is yelling sternly at him.</p> <p>So awful :(</p> <p>I have noticed recently, now that he's dropping his only nap, that the nights he DOESN'T have a waking is when he has a nap. So it could totally be tiredness related. But in the past, he's had great nap days and still had horrible wakings. So I really have no idea. I can only come to the conclusion that some kids are really active sleepers with lots of nightmares :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817431 Thu, 30 May 2013 10:00:22 +0000 meredithNYC 817431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope! As others have said, you're avoiding trouble down the road. If you did respond to every peep, your LO would learn to expect that you will "rescue" her each time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817412 Thu, 30 May 2013 09:55:34 +0000 Smurfette 817412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Be glad she will go back to sleep! I would kill for my LO to do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817334 Thu, 30 May 2013 09:38:15 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 817334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't do it! You'll be setting bad habits if you do pick her up! For sure, respond to her cries, but if she's not crying I'd let her be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817330 Thu, 30 May 2013 09:37:13 +0000 heartonastring 817330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all so much for the reassurance. I needed to hear from other moms that what I'm doing (or not doing) is okay. I feel a lot better now - thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817325 Thu, 30 May 2013 09:35:52 +0000 tororojo 817325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she's not crying, I wouldn't pick her up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817094 Thu, 30 May 2013 08:34:01 +0000 mediagirl 817094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like you're doing the right thing! Babies wake up a lot during the night and will resettle themselves without assistance. They flip and flop like we do. Unless my daughter starts screaming, I let her work it out. We do NOT do CIO in my house. I know her cries and know when she is going to go back to sleep and know when she needs me. Sounds like your lo is a good sleeper!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817088 Thu, 30 May 2013 08:32:08 +0000 LuLu Mom 817088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you are doing exactly what you should be doing, she's learning to self soothe...something you will be greatful for one day! I did the same thing, I wouldn't pick her up unless crying and I have a great sleeper at 8 months! She has been STTN since she was about 6 weeks old! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817040 Thu, 30 May 2013 08:15:25 +0000 purrpletulips 817040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unless DS was/is crying I don't pick him up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-817032 Thu, 30 May 2013 08:12:47 +0000 ladyfingers 817032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw, we are so hard on ourselves, but you are a great mom! I always pop LO's paci in and rock him a bit (he still sleeps in the rnp) and if he goes back to sleep, I leave him. If he doesn't, I feed him. Ease up on yourself, mama! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-816973 Thu, 30 May 2013 07:55:48 +0000 aprk 816973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Babies fuss and cry in their sleep all the time. If A doesn't open his eyes, I don't pick him up. Even if his eyes are open and he's just squirming, I wait a while to see if he cries. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-816972 Thu, 30 May 2013 07:55:38 +0000 Adira 816972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, you're doing the right thing!!! You're helping your baby learn to self-soothe which is sooooo important! And if she's just squirming around, she's fine!!! Sometimes Xander will wake up in the middle of the night and let out a couple cries, but often he'll settle back down and fall back asleep if we leave him alone. You're a great mom!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-816940 Thu, 30 May 2013 07:44:11 +0000 T.H.O.U. 816940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I eventually moved my daughter out of our room because she was keeping us up! She slept fine in her crib from then on and I got better sleep because I wasn't waking up with her stirring and only got up to feed her when she cried. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-816934 Thu, 30 May 2013 07:39:04 +0000 mrsmate 816934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you're doing exactly what you should be doing. Go easy on yourself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-816924 Thu, 30 May 2013 07:32:45 +0000 NovBaby1112 816924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>no way are you a terrible mother! this was the biggest mistake i made! LO slept next to our bed for the first 8 weeks and i fed LO anytime she made a peep thinking i was being pro-active by feeding her before she started crying, but i probably just set up bad habits and didn't give her the chance to fall back asleep on her own. you are doing everything right, no need to feel guilty at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-816914 Thu, 30 May 2013 07:26:42 +0000 BananaPancakes 816914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she's not fussing, she's fine. And even if she's fussing, she's still probably fine. You're lucky she's self soothing so well! Don't be hard on yourself...there are much worse thing to stress about! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-816910 Thu, 30 May 2013 07:25:40 +0000 heffalump 816910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you're a better mom to not pick her up! She's learning to self soothe, that's important. As long as she's not upset you shouldn't be either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-816909 Thu, 30 May 2013 07:25:31 +0000 loveisstrange 816909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dont get C at night unless shes crying. We even did the "wait 15 minutes" thing before getting her when she was crying. Just because shes fussing a little and moving doesnt mean shes even truly awake, so dont feel guilty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/night-wakingsam-i-a-terrible-mother#post-816902 Thu, 30 May 2013 07:22:48 +0000 heartonastring 816902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am feeling guilty about DD's night wakings. DH says I'm not doing anything wrong, but I'm not entirely convinced.</p> <p>DD sleeps in her PnP directly beside me, so I hear everything. She typically goes down around 10 p.m. and wakes up to eat at 5 a.m. Sometimes though, she'll wake up around 3:30 or 4. She kind of stirs and moves around, then goes back to sleep. She often does this a number of times. She doesn't cry or even really fuss though. Each time she does it I sit up and watch her and try to decide whether or not to pick her up and feed her. She usually settles and goes back to sleep so I leave her. </p> <p>I realize this probably sounds dumb, but I feel guilty every single time I don't pick her up. But at the same time, if she's not fussing, she's probably okay, right? Ugh, mom guilt.</p> <p>WWYD?</p> <p>ETA: I realize I'm not actually a terrible mother.....I'm just being dramatic. I really do feel guilty though. </p>