https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 24 May 2026 21:25:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381890 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 14:05:27 +0000 Mrs D 2381890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ValentineMommy: Would love to hear about how the experience was different! You can be darn sure I will be reviewing my bill in detail and there had better not be a "nursery" charge on there like their was last time.</p> <p>@LovelyPlum: I think part of why it is so broken is that hospitals have a pre-determined idea of what is "right" or "best" for our children. There isnt a perfect perscription that covers each baby because each baby and each mom is different. Thankfully I had great nurses and hope to get the same this time. I did have to damn near force them to give her the paci - but that was my only battle! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381728 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 12:28:36 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2381728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: I honestly didn't even think to ask for the nursery but I was so grateful that someone stepped in! :) I can understand why people don't get it, because with lo2 I had that bonding experience (same hospital too), only 14 hrs in labor and a sleepy newborn, so if he had been my first or both had been like that, I might not totally get it either. But people need to realize every labor/mom/baby is different. If one's doctor thinks it's important to be in the hospital in the first place, I think it's understandable that one might want to ask for some help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381690 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 12:12:07 +0000 LovelyPlum 2381690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: that is the plan, and you make VA sound tempting. I knew plenty of sweet old grandmas when I lived there. I'll have to get on the whole baby cuddler thing for next time :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381662 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 12:01:47 +0000 Alba4 2381662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I delivered in a baby friendly hospital and our DS roomed in with us. I never really considered sending him to the nursery, as I didn't want him out of my sight! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381656 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 11:59:22 +0000 Happygal 2381656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: so you should have your next baby (if that's the plan) in Virginia. Sweet grandmas and beautiful mountain views await you! :wink: </p> <p>Our baby-friendly hospital does not have pacifiers, but every baby does get a HALO sleep swaddler. That's nice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381649 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 11:55:46 +0000 LovelyPlum 2381649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I really like the idea that moms and partners/dads/support people/whoever can go in and out at any time. We were not allowed in the nursery at our hospital at all. I found that very strange. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381642 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 11:53:38 +0000 SweetiePie 2381642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: THANK YOU, re:tone </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381638 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 11:51:57 +0000 winniebee 2381638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This had me curious to check on the status of the nursery at my hospital. Interestingly, they don't describe the nursery as a nursery, it's apparently called a NOPA</p> <p>*******</p> <p>Rooming In</p> <p>We want you to have as much contact with your baby as possible, which is why we practice “rooming-in”, when mother and baby stay together in the same room. Rooming-in has many physical and emotional benefits for mother and baby. You will grow more comfortable with your baby’s needs by the time you go home together and will be more confident in your ability to care for your baby.</p> <p>*******</p> <p>Newborn Observation Procedure Area (NOPA)</p> <p>Some babies need special monitoring or procedures that require him or her to stay in the newborn nursery under the continuous care of a nurse. Our newborn observation area staffed by a newborn care nurse is where tests and procedures such as circumcision, newborn hearing screening, and metabolic screening take place. It can also be used while mothers are sleeping, showering, or at any other time you need someone to watch your baby. You and the person you choose to wear the newborn identification ID band are allowed in the newborn nursery at anytime. Other visitors must be accompanied by you or your partner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381636 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 11:51:34 +0000 LovelyPlum 2381636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: ooh, the baby cuddlers. The hospital I delivered at didn't have one, but that's what I needed: some sweet old grandma to say, here honey, I will hold her, you rest. Now you can sign me up for that!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381627 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 11:48:00 +0000 Happygal 2381627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: right! It depends and is different for everyone. Why try to have the "one size fits all" model? I'm so sorry to hear you had such a bad experience.</p> <p>There were volunteers at our hospital that hold babies. I saw older women in their gowns with these blissful looks on their faces, just rocking and singing to the babies. So sweet. </p> <p>@ValentineMommy: a nurse raised her eyebrows when she saw I had brought a pacifier from home (our hospital didn't have them either). I thought she was going to give me a hard time, but she gave me a high five instead. I know people have strong feelings about not using them, but it was very helpful for my baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381592 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 11:38:40 +0000 LovelyPlum 2381592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've read through this whole thread, and while I thought I knew how I felt at the beginning, I'm not as sure now. I want to try to write it out so that I can sort it out in my own mind.</p> <p>I send DD for a bit on the first night, when I had been up for over 36 hours and was so delirious with sleep deprivation that I could hardly think. I fell asleep for 2ish hours when they brought this screaming child back and said, "she needs to eat." I literally could not comprehend what the nurse was saying, because she had woken me out of a very deep sleep. I honestly don't know if I felt better afterwards or not, because I was so out of it. All I could think was, "and you want me to do what about that, exactly???? Can't you fix it???" I decided in that minute that the cruelest part of L&amp;D is that they then expect you to care for this small thing right away. And I'm not talking that the hospitals are cruel. Biology is cruel. ;) I did not feel rested after I sent her at all. In fact, I might have felt worse, because the sleep was far less than I needed. I did send her sometime during the day the next day for a good 3 hours, and I got an amazing bit of sleep. It was freaking glorious, and it made me feel so much better. DH was at home, getting things ready, so it was great to have someone look after her.</p> <p>On the other hand, as I said above, our nursery was depressing, and I found the nurses super pushy, like they were the experts on my baby. OK, you may be experts on babies in general, but that doesn't make me, even as a first time mom, an idiot. I would like you to help me learn how to take care of this child, not insist that you know what you're doing, and I don't. The baby nurses came around to our rooms all the time, and I really, really hated it. One of them gave DD formula after telling me, "she needs it, I'm going to get it," then coming back in and giving it to her without so much of a word from me. I felt powerless to say no, so I didn't. DD was also a very sleepy nurser, and so I would undress her and do skin-to-skin while we nursed. One nurse in particular hated that I did that, claiming that I was making her too cold and that she needed to take her back to the nursery to get warm again, etc. And because I kept doing that, it seemed like they watched me more, to make sure I wasn't hurting DD. Meanwhile, all I really wanted was to be able to nurse her lying down and take a nap, but of course, you're not supposed to co-sleep in the hospital. And they seemed to think that I wanted to stay around for the full 48 hours after I delivered, when I couldn't wait to get out of there. I had to beg them to let me go home in the morning of the second day that I was there.</p> <p>Moral of the story: for those that need them, great. In some ways, the nursery was a gift. But my postpartum baby care experience is one reason I am seriously considering a home birth or a birthing center birth next time. I hated it. I felt judged for trying to be active in her care, judged because I wanted to be up and moving around as much as I could, and judged because I wanted OUT. In my experience, the entire PP experience was not designed to help me rest, recover, or get to know my newborn. I think recovery units should be designed to do that as much as possible. If that means a nursery, great. If there's a better solution, great. But what we've got now in the U.S.?? Broken as heck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381549 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 11:23:45 +0000 ValentineMommy 2381549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our hospital got rid of the nursery in between DS1 and DS2. I was also really upset about it. It was certainly a completely different experience.</p> <p>They also stopped giving out pacifiers because they didn't want to promote nipple confusion. AKA another cost cutting measure.</p> <p>Pretty sure the $75k bill I received would have covered a $3 pacifier. Thank God for insurance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381542 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 11:20:29 +0000 LovelyPlum 2381542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: I really hope that by the time you deliver, the nurses have training. A good nurse makes all the difference. And I think you're smart for planning ahead with a support person. </p> <p>@winniebee: for what it's worth, the nursery at the hospital I delivered in was small, cramped with both babies and adults, and very noisy. It was secured and had big windows, but that was about it. It seemed like a hole in the wall, not the nice way I would have imagined even a small nursery to be. </p> <p>@Happygal: oh goodness, I sent my husband away, too. He's miserable when he's tired, and he needed sleep for MY sanity ;)</p> <p>@mrsjazz: so I never thought about that-having a roommate. I delivered in one of the hospitals that only had single rooms, but most around here don't have all private rooms. So even if you want rest, there's no guarantee you'll get it. Personally, I never found hospitals relaxing, baby in the room or not. I was much better when I could be home and put the baby in bed with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381483 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 10:49:21 +0000 mrsjazz 2381483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had no idea a lot of hospitals were getting rid of nurseries. I birthed in a baby mill hospital (didn't know it had such a high birth rate before we transferred there). My room was right outside of the nursery. It was loud! I didn't really get any good rest in the hospital because I had roommates and nurses coming in and out.</p> <p>When they FINALLY brought me my daughter I wanted to keep her with me. I had a horrible C-section but wanted her with me. Although there is a nursery, if you wanted to keep your baby in the room with you you could. LO roomed with me the first night and at one point my roommate who had her baby in the nursery complained to the nurse about LO crying. There was only a curtain separating us. I was like, "What the fuck lady? You're in the hospital, we're right outside of the nursery. There's babies crying and alarms going off." I know this wasn't her first child and I'm sure she wanted some sleep but basically, I was like fuck off. The next night I wanted to room in but my mom couldn't stay overnight and I couldn't lift LO in and out of the bassinet so I sent her to the nursery for a few hours.</p> <p>I think there should be the option--even baby-friendly hospitals should have a small nursery. For me, if there is a next time I want the baby friendly hospital with rooming in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381439 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 10:31:29 +0000 hummusgirl 2381439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To the original question, I agree the no-nursery thing is total BS! I really despise the "baby-friendly" term in general because it implies that breastfeeding is the primary way to be a good parent when that is not true (in the developed world at least) and is guilt/depression-inducing for many people. </p> <p>Regarding this debate, I think it's sad that so many people are sanctimonious based on their own personal experience. It's like, "I stared adoringly at my beautiful baby after 50 hours without sleep, and crocheted a blanket while she slept. It's such a magical time, why would anyone want to be apart?" Please. Clearly the question was about women having the option, not whether you personally would or wouldn't use it. </p> <p>It would be like someone saying "Well I was ready to go back to work after 6 weeks so I don't see why companies should offer more," or "Well I stay at home and can't imagine strangers raising my baby so I don't think affordable childcare is necessary." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381430 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 10:24:43 +0000 MoreCoffee 2381430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also was very interested in reading all of these responses. I really thought I would be gung-ho rooming in, but after four days of no sleep (and a newborn who didn't seem to enjoy sleep, either), I sent him to the nursery for a few hours and nearly cried with gratitude. I just looked at our hospital's website in a panic and was relieved to see that they still offer "a nearby nursery to care for your newborn while you rest and recuperate". I really do think it's great if hospitals can encourage mothers to room in, breastfeed, do skin-to-skin, etc. because those are things that statistically result in more positive outcomes. Maybe not on this board, but there are plenty of new moms who don't know these things and who may need the encouragement and education. However, I hate to see options limited and echo the others who say that first and foremost, new moms need support for their choices. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381426 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 10:23:05 +0000 Mommy Finger 2381426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't send DS1 to the nursery b/c he was a really easy baby and I'll admit that I didn't see why people felt the need to. My baby slept and ate and that's about it.</p> <p>However I definitely changed my tune after DS2 was born. We definitely sent him to the nursery at night the first night. We were in a baby friendly hospital that didn't have a nursery during the day but they would take them at night, if necessary. However, they very much encouraged rooming in. But he swallowed a lot of amniotic fluid during birth. Not enough to be concerning but enough that he kept spitting up all the time. I was super concerned that he would choke while I was sleeping. So in order to make sure that my new baby didn't, you know, die, you're damn right I'm glad that I had that option and had the support from some amazing nurses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381425 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 10:22:28 +0000 KatieBklyn 2381425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Yes! I really hate the whole "xyz encourages bonding" thing. Let me tell you, after being awake from 9 am Wednesday morning until 4:45 am Friday morning (when my baby was finally born via emergency c-section) then only a forty minute nap here and there for the next few days (not to mention the 24 post-birth hours of magnesium), there wasn't a whole lot left of me for bonding. I felt a whole lot more bonded to my son once I got a halfway decent night's sleep. (And the bond got even better once I stopped desperately struggling to breastfeed at eight weeks. It's amazing how much more you can LIKE a tiny person when they aren't screaming hysterically every time you put them to your boob.) </p> <p>The only thing my "baby friendly" hospital did for me was insure that any time I sent my son to the nursery to try to catch up on sleep, I felt insanely guilty and cried until they brought him back. (And the nurses themselves were really nice about it! It was all the literature about "we encourage rooming-in" that made me feel like the world's shittiest mom.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381398 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 09:57:31 +0000 Happygal 2381398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I think judging is normal behavior. In my child development classes, we learned about cool studies where infants identified with others who are like them. So we need to learn how to be open minded and also not to care so much what others think!</p> <p>@2littlepumpkins: The hospital with the nursery strongly encourages rooming in, and all the birthing classes talk about the importance of that early bonding. I'm guessing that adds to the strong feelings I'm sorry you had to deal with that anxiety, but I'm glad the nursery was there to help you out!</p> <p>@winniebee: My husband could be there, but I sent him away after the first night. Along with sending my baby away for a few hours at a time, sending my husband away at night also raised some eyebrows! :grin: There were lots of reasons for this: I figured it was good for one of us to be well rested, he could take care of our dog, he brought me good coffee from the outside, he didn't keep ME up with tossing and turning on that pitiful pullout couch.....we're still tightly bonded, too. </p> <p>Sometimes I get lazy with these really long threads, but I've found all these responses to be interesting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381396 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 09:57:24 +0000 Mrs D 2381396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BandDmommy: 100% agree...just like Happy Wife = Happy Life :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381373 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 09:44:34 +0000 BandDmommy 2381373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: I've always said a happy mom = Happy baby. So, not sure how having a happy mom would not be baby friendly. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381371 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 09:43:25 +0000 Mrs D 2381371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: completely agreed. The hospital needs to work better to be your support system...not take away pieces of your support system. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381334 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 09:14:24 +0000 winniebee 2381334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: the other thing is...what about people that aren't lucky enough to have family around? or whose husbands/ significant others aren't fortunate enough to be able to take time off of work? how do they take a shower, etc? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381331 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 09:11:46 +0000 Mrs D 2381331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Not to mention...everyones tolerance and dealing with labor pain is different. One persons 6 hour labor may be more traumatic to them then anothers 24 hour labor experience. Hence why the choice should exist. Where as now - the patients will have the rely on the nurses agreeing our not to help them out... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381327 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 09:04:06 +0000 hilsy85 2381327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: totally agree. WHat is with the justification "oh I had a hard labor so I deserved to use the nursery"? I had a super easy labor with DD and I used the nursery with her. If a mom just wants a few hours to sleep by herself, or whatever the reason, I think that's fine. She'll have the rest of her life to be solely responsible for the baby, I think a few hours at the nursery is not a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381322 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 09:00:23 +0000 winniebee 2381322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: I am with you that I would rather have my baby in a nursery for testing, baths, etc than a nursing station - at least based on the nursing stations at Brigham &amp; Women's in Boston and Maine Medical Center in Portland. Nurseries seem more sanitary, contained, and less people around to distract from the task at hand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381320 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 08:59:42 +0000 Mrs D 2381320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: This is definitely how I feel. Could I have done it...of course. Will I survive...of course. But it changes our plans for LO2's arrival. Now I will definitely have to have a support person with me overnight both nights (initially we had planned for DH to go home night #2 to be with DD1). I think in the early days its important to be as rested (as possible) and as comfortable as possible to set the tone for the relationship. I just dont like taking these "mom friendly" options away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381317 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 08:57:25 +0000 Mrs D 2381317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anya: Yes - and unfortunately she had an awful experience. After a long and terrible labor she was shamed for wanting a break to get some solid sleep. This is what concerns me...</p> <p>I think it could work perfectly fine to not have a nursery if that is what is required to earn this "baby friendly" certification crap. But then training and policies with the nursing staff to be supportive of new moms in x,y,z ways should go hand in hand with it. I also dont know how I feel about my child just hanging at the nurses station in the hospital at a few hours old.</p> <p>I try to have faith in medical professionals - especially the L&amp;D nurses many of whom have many many years of experience and I dont doubt for a second have the babies best interest in mind. I just worry about the trend of focusing on baby friendly only while ignoring mom friendly choices as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381312 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 08:53:05 +0000 skipra 2381312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh wow, I didn't even realize it was a thing to eliminate the nurseries! I delivered in two different hospitals and they both had them but it was not the style nurseries that you would see on TV. Both of my kids went to the nursery for short periods of time. With LO2 I was alone a lot because DH was with LO1 who was having a very hard time with me being gone. I sent him to the nursery so I could just take a shower and feel like a human. I think it's sad if the hospitals take away that option because some moms will really need the extra help. I could definitely have managed but I had a very "easy" labor and delivery and it was still nice to get an hour to myself. I can't even imagine how the women with really difficult deliveries or C-sections without a support person there all the time could manage in a hospital with only a minimal amount of help from the nurses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/no-more-nurseries-at-my-hospital/page/5#post-2381291 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 08:33:43 +0000 Anya 2381291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's hard to imagine it the other way when your hospital/experience was the other way. I gave birth at a "baby friendly" hospital and it was fine, I never really thought twice about it.. the nursery still exists for testing purposes and maybe babies stay there overnight too. I didn't ask for my baby to go there so not sure what would have happened if I did. I guess I'll never know. I remember when my MIL found out about the whole rooming in thing it was mind blowing to her- not in a judgmental way, it just never would have occurred to her to have the baby in the room overnight because that's just not how it was done at her hospital when she gave birth. So you really can only know what you've been though, it's not like one side is (or should be) saying "you mean I have to take care of my OWN baby?" and the other side is saying "are you even really a mom if your baby didn't room with you?" Please. And really, the measure of your labor/delivery/recovery experience is going to depend on a LOT of different factors- staff, how difficult the birth was, whether it was a busy day- not just whether or not there was a nursery or if you used it. </p> <p>OP, do you know anyone who has given birth recently at your hospital? Because it sounds like a lot of the responses here indicate that even if they use this baby-friendly initiative language of no nursery/rooming in, they still accommodate having babies sleep elsewhere if asked. </p>