https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 25 May 2026 07:24:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2233425 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 20:47:04 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2233425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We chose a close friend. neither of our siblings are in a lifestyle place for an instant family and we want our parents to maintain their relationship as grandparents and not be in a parent role. We just explained our thinking and didn't have any resisrance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2233421 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 20:41:43 +0000 Mrs. Coral 2233421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had siblings to choose and chose an unrelated couple. Our parents were out of the question because they already raised us. I think they all appreciate and respect that decision. They can still be grandparents if something happened to us. The friends we chose are raising their children very similar to how our daughter is being raised (and any future siblings). Our siblings are either not in a position at this time to raise a child, or would give our children a very different upbringing/life experience than we would choose for them.</p> <p>Both sets of grandparents know, and the guardians also know. None of our siblings know yet, but I am the super anxious/worrier type and think they should. My fear is that something happens to us and there are really hard feelings that interfere with DD's relationship with them. The reasons we didn't choose family are actually very simple, and while a difficult conversation, I think would actually be well understood after all is said and done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2233138 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 15:07:20 +0000 LuLu Mom 2233138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We chose family, however we are the guardian for a close friend right now. She has only 1 sibling who would potentially be up to the responsibility but he's single &amp; a traveler right now so unless he settles down we will take their 2 kids. I said I was fine if she wanted to switch it in the future as he gets older, ect. but would of course take on the responsibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232982 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 13:34:27 +0000 LulaBee 2232982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We chose non-family guardians. My in-laws and my parents are retired and like to travel, and couldn't keep up with LO full time. None of our siblings would be good choices. We chose friends who have kids, great jobs, and similar values. They were touched and there were lots of tears when we asked them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232879 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 12:43:33 +0000 raintreebee 2232879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: It could be like that movie with Katherine Heigle--Life as We Know It. Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232869 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 12:36:16 +0000 blackbird 2232869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@raintreebee: wow, that'd be a huge bomb to drop on someone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232866 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 12:33:02 +0000 raintreebee 2232866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We chose family but may revise that to be close friends.</p> <p>Btw, my friend who is a trusts and estates lawyer says they advise clients to not even tell the guardians they were chosen since circumstances can always change... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232823 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 12:05:24 +0000 Mae 2232823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We chose family (my parents) but if our situation changed (like if my parents' health declined or they passed) we would probably do non-family guardians over our siblings or my husband's parents. It would be hard but the most important thing is a healthy environment for our kid. I hope my brother gets it together at some point and he could be the guardian but his wife's family is so toxic and invades their life so much I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her in his care as things stand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232795 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 11:31:12 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2232795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I think this is the best way to approach it. There's no need for anyone to know except the guardians themselves. If anyone outright asks (which, I couldn't see that ever happening), you just say you haven't decided and need to get on that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232789 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 11:26:35 +0000 blackbird 2232789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We chose family, but we are the non family guardians for some friends of ours' child. They have family options but they aren't the healthiest. She said they chose us because we have such similar values and they know we'd take care of him like one of our own. The conversation was easy-we were very honored. She also informed us about their life insurance policies and the like to let us know that we wouldn't be financially burdened, which didn't even cross my mind, but his college education, etc are covered and it is no surprise </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232787 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 11:26:04 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2232787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Curious about this as well. @ Shootingstar: We aren't sure who we would want, but I have close friends in mind. My parents would be my top choice, but are getting older and I am not sure about siblings for various reasons.</p> <p>Hopefully it is never something that is required. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232748 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 10:45:06 +0000 ShootingStar 2232748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are probably going to choose friends. My parents have said that they want to be the guardians, but we don't really want them to be. We love them but I want DS to have young parents. And none of our siblings are viable options at this time. </p> <p>As for the conversation with family, we just won't tell anyone. Except the guardians of course. I'm not going to sit down with my parents and explain why they'll be too old or not energetic enough, or how my dad was kind of harsh when I was a kid. And I definitely won't sit down with our siblings and tell them all that they're unfit as parents. </p> <p>It's honestly no one else's business and hopefully they'll never have to find out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232740 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 10:38:36 +0000 babynumber1 2232740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We chose family, but only because we are very close with my brother and his family. We are also designated as guardians of their children. If we were not close with them, we would chose close friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/non-family-guardians#post-2232624 Fri, 10 Jul 2015 09:00:12 +0000 DesertDreams88 2232624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did any of you choose non-family guardian? Especially if there were family options? How did those conversations go? </p>