https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 05 Jun 2026 23:53:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880844 Mon, 15 Apr 2019 13:40:38 +0000 Mrs. Snowflake 2880844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm OAD, but the only way I would have #2 is FF from the beginning. If ANYTHING, I would BF in the hospital for the colostrum, but nothing more than that. I had an awful time breastfeeding and it caused awful PPA. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880802 Mon, 15 Apr 2019 09:11:46 +0000 SweetiePie 2880802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: I hated mine so much I HAD to put in ear buds and blast music. I heard the pump talking to me. It sounded like “grampa grampa grampa grampa” and a few other things I dont want to type here! It drove me mad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880799 Mon, 15 Apr 2019 09:01:44 +0000 DillonLion 2880799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Ugh the sound of the pump! Even thinking about it makes me anxious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880733 Sun, 14 Apr 2019 10:19:09 +0000 SweetiePie 2880733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880725 Sun, 14 Apr 2019 06:56:15 +0000 meredithNYC 2880725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: thank you for saying this. I halfheartedly attempted nursing my second despite having similar feelings/issues to the OP, and I honestly did it to appease well-meaning friends and family members who kept offering "helpful" suggestions and encouragement.</p> <p>Nursing is NOT a great experience for many women and it would be nice if others could just let that truth be what it is. It's f-ed up, but my kids are 4 and 7 and I still feel bad for not nursing them. It really shouldn't be that way.</p> <p>OP, good luck with your new baby and do what is best for you. A happy mom and bonded baby are so much more important than exclusively bf. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880718 Sat, 13 Apr 2019 23:39:44 +0000 thepicklemonster 2880718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I nursed my older kid (now 2.5 yo DS) for 3 weeks and have never been more miserable. I absolutely hated everything about it. I made it another 3 weeks of exclusively pumping. Second time around, I did colostrum in the hospital then pumped for two weeks before switching to formula. My DD is 3 months now and doing great on formula. I have zero regrets. The newborn experience has been a million times better this time. BF is just not for me!</p> <p> My DS is the happiest, healthiest and smartest kid. He almost never gets sick. If I had a third kid, which I’m not planning on doing (but you never know), I would again let the baby nurse for colostrum in the hospital then immediately bind my boobs and dry up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880714 Sat, 13 Apr 2019 19:57:31 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2880714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didnt (although I did a bit, just what I felt like and I ended up having to pump) for my third. But my second, just colostrum. No regrets. I also talked this over with doctors as I had medical stuff going on at the time. I refused to take shit from anyone about it, too. We live in a pretty pro-bf area and I got a few comments but I had learned to stand my ground after lo1. I'm not the sassy know it all kind of mom but I refused to let people lecture me or put me down for it the second time!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880650 Fri, 12 Apr 2019 17:42:52 +0000 Elizabear 2880650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I admire you! My nursing experience was awful that I eped for 6 months. It was so stressful and awful and I wish I had given myself a break. My daughter was great on formula from 6 months on. My experience was so bad it is a huge reason we are having our only one child. If I ended up with a "surprise" baby, I'm certain I would not even attempt nursing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880609 Fri, 12 Apr 2019 14:37:05 +0000 SweetiePie 2880609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also want to add to those saying “maybe it’ll be different the 2nd time”....that’s not what OP asked. She even said she thinks starting then stopping will be worse than just not starting at all.<br /> I know you’re then saying “do what makes you happy” but it’s still just a nice way of trying to convince her to try. She didn’t ask for positive BF experiences after having a negative one.<br /> I think many of you might not have experienced the nauseating, crippling, panic-filled experience she (and many of us) have had. </p> <p>@DillonLion: I already replied but wanted to add - if you are already feeling anxiety about the PROSPECT of breastfeeding, I think you already know what’s right for you. I was you almost 14 months ago. I fretted and fretted over it. And in the end a LACTATION consultant is the one who told me she didn’t think it was a good idea for me to try. I did sit down with a manual pump once (as even the sound of an electric pump made my heart race) and after two squeezes of the handle I literally felt a wave of nausea at the feeling of my nipple being pulled. I got rid of the manual pump, gave away my free one from insurance. Never looked back. Zero regrets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880604 Fri, 12 Apr 2019 14:19:55 +0000 Kemma 2880604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dahlia: I was going to suggest the same thing. </p> <p>Take it one latch and one feed at a time! Try latching baby after birth and see how it goes. Take each feed as it comes and if it’s not cool then offer formula and pump if you feel like it. Who knows, you might have a fabulous birth with no complications and you might have a baby who’s an efficient nurser with a great latch but you know what your options are if you choose to go another way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880603 Fri, 12 Apr 2019 14:19:13 +0000 SweetiePie 2880603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 2nd is 13 months old. I never put him to the breast once. Didn’t pump a drop. Zero regrets. </p> <p>BF/pumping for my first caused nothing but anxiety for the entire 6 weeks till I quit. I dreaded it for my 2nd. So glad I never bothered.<br /> I was able to focus so much more on my big boy. Got better rest. My husband was able to help more. I didn’t have to lose even more time to pumping. </p> <p>13 mo is happy (like ridiculously so) and healthy and so am I. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880554 Fri, 12 Apr 2019 10:30:26 +0000 paigeface 2880554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am SO glad that you posted this because I am about to be in the same boat. We had almost the same issues as you did with our LO #1 and it still gives me anxiety just to think about doing it all over again. I know every baby is different but I like you had BF/pumping/anxiety take over my life the first few months I could not enjoy my son until I finally gave up pumping and BF all together (with TONS of mom guilt included!) We are about to have our daughter in 4 weeks and I am trying to decide if I should skip BF all together this time or see if it's better. I too work full time so that throws another anxiety into the mix. I am still going back and forth on this so I'll be following all of your responses on here as well.</p> <p>P.S. my colostrum already started to come in this week and it was already kinda giving me flashbacks as well. I hope to BF this time around but don't want to feel bad again if it doesn't work out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880553 Fri, 12 Apr 2019 10:19:43 +0000 DillonLion 2880553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamatimes3: SAME. The entire act of breastfeeding is so anxiety producing for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880551 Fri, 12 Apr 2019 10:09:19 +0000 Mamatimes3 2880551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Me!</p> <p>I didn’t even attempt with my 3rd and it was great. I only lasted a few weeks with my 1st two but made the decision to not even try with my 3rd. </p> <p>Honestly, I HATE the way breastfeeding made me feel. It was painful, gave me anxiety, and made me feel guilty for not enjoying it.</p> <p>When I checked in the hospital, I said no breastfeeding and no one ever mentioned it again. Easy. </p> <p>My experiences with my 1st two were different in terms of latching, etc. but the way breastfeeding made me feel didn’t change at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880535 Fri, 12 Apr 2019 08:32:50 +0000 RonjaL7 2880535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I chose not to breastfeed at all. I luckily was at a hospital that didn't try to force bf'ing on me and didn't make me feel bad at all. I wore pads in my sports bra for awhile after my milk came in to prevent leaking. I'm also not sure if it is true, but I heard peppermint hinders supply so I ate peppermint patties like they were going out of style. I also stuffed my bra with cabbage leaves when no one was visiting. </p> <p>It hurt pretty bad when I was engorged and people gave tight "congratulatory" hugs for the new baby. Other than that there were no issues. My milk came and went within a week or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880470 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 14:57:53 +0000 Dahlia 2880470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say do whatever you want, and no real reason to plan ahead unless it makes you feel better. Take it one hour at a time. At birth, if you want to try, try and if you don't, don't. If you do try and decide two hours later you don't want to, you can stop. Same the next day, next week, next month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880454 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 13:39:07 +0000 charlotte 2880454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Long story short, after multiple issues with BF LO1 and LO2 (and multiple food allergies in the mix that wouldve meant going wheat/ nut / egg and dairy free) I decided with number 3 I was going straight for formula from birth on. His growth, health, milestones, everything have been right on track and I was SO much happier and less stressed in the early days. Like you, I just wanted to enjoy him and cuddle without stressing about latches, jaundice, and other issues. I 100% support any mom’s choice, including not to BF at all. The nurses in the hospital were fine with it... I just said “after my previous experience this is what my husband and I have chosen”. Good luck to you as you welcome your little one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880447 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 13:20:31 +0000 DillonLion 2880447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBear87: even though it was a pain, pumping is less anxiety producing than nursing! At least with the pump, it was the same thing every time. With nursing, who knows if she'd latch, bite, if the same hold worked, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880446 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 13:17:49 +0000 agold 2880446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did choose to nurse my second kid. But I will tell you that it was a much better experience than initially nursing my first kid. MUCH better. Good luck with whatever you choose! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880444 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 13:12:33 +0000 MamaBear87 2880444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think try it in the hospital just so baby gets some colostrum. If it feels ok then try continuing. If it brings back bad memories or feels stressful switch to formula. And decide now that you won't do any pumping, that may take some of the dread off </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880433 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 12:16:26 +0000 Chuckles 2880433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend who chose this route. She had a rough experience BF her first and she has generalized anxiety anyways. She chose to not even try BF with her second and has no regrets. My son was not a great nurser, and I ended up EP after he was about 6 months old. We started supplementing with formula at 9 months. But between 6-10 months or so I spent *so* much time pumping to try to keep my supply up. In retrospect, I wish I had gone completely to formula sooner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880428 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 11:49:50 +0000 Alba4 2880428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had bf issues with both my boys and both had posterior tongue ties that were clipped within weeks of birth. Nursing never got better. I pumped for 6 months with #1 and only for 2 months with #2. I had to supplement with formula for both too. Pumping made no sense to me when I had 2 to care for and it drove me crazy and made me miserable. I was much happier once I stopped and just fed formula to my boys. You have to do what makes you happy and the best mom you can be.</p> <p>I was extremely hard on myself and was so sad that I didn’t succeed in breastfeeding for both my boys. But now that they are almost 3 and 6, it’s all a distant memory. They are happy, smart, sweet boys that are very close with their mama. No one asks or even seems to care how they were fed. Although, when I was in the infant stage, I felt judged for not breast feeding... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880423 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 11:16:50 +0000 KT326 2880423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: for my first, it took 5 days for my milk to come in but for my second (they are 5 years apart) it only took 2 days! It was in before I left the hospital. That made a huge difference. I didn't hate breastfeeding my first, but it wasn't fun and we only lasted until 9 months. He had been getting formula at daycare anyway because I couldn't pump enough.</p> <p>My second, was a completely different story. It was so easy. We EBF until 9 months but then started sending formula to daycare because I hated pumping at work. </p> <p>All this to say, do what makes you happy. Happy mom, happy baby. Everyone has different experiences and all babies are different! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880410 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 10:17:52 +0000 DillonLion 2880410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Yeah, my milk took a lonnnggg time, as well (had a hemmhorage which I think hurt it) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880409 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 10:15:00 +0000 ShootingStar 2880409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: My issue when I first started was that it took over a week for my milk to come in. It made nursing stressful and we were supplementing and all the time when he cried I didn’t know if he was hungry or what. With LO2 she was a cluster feeder and my supply was in after like 2 days. And she was happy and sleepy as long as she was eating or comfort nursing. And she slept great. It would’ve killed me to be making her bottles every few minutes, lol. </p> <p>Just commit to doing whatever you think is easiest to get the baby fed. And to not feeling guilty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880407 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 10:09:38 +0000 DillonLion 2880407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Yeah, my therapist says the same thing: the babies will be different no matter what, so there's no point comitting to something before the baby gets here. I may do what @HAPPYBAKER did, and see how latching goes, and if it seems okay, fine, but if not, reserve the right to just stop immediately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880404 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 10:00:08 +0000 ShootingStar 2880404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: I’d say if you don’t like it and if it gives you anxiety, don’t do it. I’d also say that my BFing experience was different between my two kids and it might be for you too. And if you wanted to try it I suggest just not pumping at all. You should not need to pump to establish your supply. Feed the baby every 2 or three hours. </p> <p>Personally, I HATED making bottles in the middle of the night and never quite figured that part out. It was easier for me to just grab the baby and nurse. </p> <p>But for both my kids my supply tanked around 7 months. With LO1 I kind of blamed myself and figured I had made mistakes. But then it happened again with LO2 and i figured it was more the pump and working than me. Both times I quit pumping at work and went to EFF. That’s what worked for us and I think everyone should do exactly what works for them in terms of feeding the baby. If you enjoy nursing, great. If you hate it and think bottles will save your sanity, great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880402 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 09:41:30 +0000 Ms. RV 2880402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: It was hospital food designed for kids so it wasn't totally amazing, just was convenient (delivered to his room) and free :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880377 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 08:27:24 +0000 DillonLion 2880377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: Whoa, what? Free meals if you pump? That is interesting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-nursing-the-2nd-time-around#post-2880376 Thu, 11 Apr 2019 08:25:50 +0000 DillonLion 2880376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: I guess I just feel like I know what I did "wrong" last time, but the "right way to do it" (feed and pump constantly to get the supply going) feels daunting and not like anything I want to bother trying with this go around. Last time my supply didn't really get established because I prioritized sleep to take care of my PPD (my mom had post partum psychosis and missed the first year of my life, so I was very cautious). Having to constantly pull out my breasts and have stimulated nipples also brought on so much anxiety and uncomfortableness. I don't know how any of that could be different this time around if I opt in to breastfeeding. </p>