https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 02:24:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-seeking-approval#post-44729 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 18:10:02 +0000 SugarplumsMom 44729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you just have to learn to emotionally detach yourself from the situation and not take their "suggestions" too personally. Honestly, it's hard, especially if you truly care about what they think and how they feel. If your in-laws are similar to mine, they probably don't understand that other people have their own lives and can live it anyway they please WITHOUT being wrong in any way. </p> <p>Detach yourself -- next time they say something, try to just ignore it. It took me awhile before it got to that point but it was really starting to affect me. If they can't bring themselves to think about how you may feel, then don't put so much effort into thinking about how they feel. </p> <p>Let it go in one ear and out the other. Like unwanted advice from a weird uncle you only see once a year. Ignore it and laugh about how ridiculous it is. Because sometimes people just won't ever get it and they won't change.</p> <p>HUGS </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-seeking-approval#post-44728 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 17:57:14 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 44728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like the "thank you for your input" and "these are our beliefs" options. I have a feeling that one day I will be using those a lot. Like the OP my husband and I plan to homeschool as well. I know most of my family (besides my dad and stepmom) won't understand and they are very vocal when you do something they consider "out of the norm". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-seeking-approval#post-44690 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 15:04:09 +0000 cyneswith 44690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brother ran into this sort of thing with our parents. He and his wife are agnostic, both raised Baptist. He got to the point where he told my parents "Those are your beliefs, which is fine, but they aren't ours. If you keep insisting that we raise our son with your values instead of respecting our own beliefs, we won't be able to spend as much time with you." They've gotten along much better since. A similar "those are your beliefs, these are ours - respect us as adults" talk might be in order for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-seeking-approval#post-44653 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 12:07:54 +0000 Beyond2 44653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone. Knowing you aren't the only one going through things certainly helps! </p> <p>@sorrycharlie: @lilteacherbee: We get these comments too. We haven't announced that that we are actively trying to our family because we know the response we will receive. When asked the kid question we just answer it will happen when it happens. The same family members tell us we're too young to have kids (we're 24) and that we should enjoy our young years... Personally I think raising a family (that we are very well prepared to start) is a great way to enjoy our younger years! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-seeking-approval#post-44630 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 11:14:52 +0000 venice4504 44630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People are scared of the unknown. If you believe enough in what you are doing your strong will will come out. Keep doing what you're doing! It sounds like a lot of hard work but the rewards must be high! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-seeking-approval#post-44628 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 11:11:55 +0000 lilteacherbee 44628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: I think we have very similar situations. I was in tears last night over a friends opinion that we should wait to TTC but at the same time, she was congratulating another friend who just announced her pregnancy (same age as I).</p> <p>I love what your DH said! I'll try to keep that in mind for myself!</p> <p>@Beyond2: It's really hard for me to hear people say things about our decision to TTC in a few months. It wasn't a light-hearted decision. I've researched, planned, budgeted, and had countless decisions with DH about it. Only YOU know whats right for yourself and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-seeking-approval#post-44618 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 10:45:04 +0000 sorrycharlie 44618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're only starting to TTC, but I am already getting down about future comments. I know both our families will say we're too young, should have waited, should have bought a house, etc etc and while waiting to POAS last month I was in tears!</p> <p>DH had a good comment though..he said that the comments are nothing more than other people telling us about what they would want for themselves, and <b>if we do what everyone else tells us, we end up living someone else's life instead of our own.</b></p> <p>He had a really good point..there are definitely days where I feel more nervous than others, but I try to repeat that phrase in my head! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-seeking-approval#post-44613 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 10:34:58 +0000 MegWag 44613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think, if you focus on the strength of your own convictions and personal beliefs, it's easier to say "Thanks for the input." or "I'm sorry you feel that way."<br /> It's always going to be hard when someone you love and respect expresses disapproval, but if you know what you want and can tell yourself that it's ok to have different values. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-seeking-approval#post-44609 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 10:14:47 +0000 Beyond2 44609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I know how we want to live our lives. We understand what we want and we know what we need to do to get there. The problem is maintaining the confidence to assert these choices when pressured by my husbands family. </p> <p>My in-laws live a lifestyle much different than we do. They live in the suburbs and live an average life style where "keeping up with the Jones'" is normal. We farm, can our own food and are very self sufficient. When we have children, we want to cloth diaper and home school and live life in a simple way. </p> <p>What we haven't learned how to do is say "thank you for your opinion" and then to get on with our life when they disagree with our lifestyle choices. After those comments we tend to think about the situation too much and get angry that our family doesn't accept us and our choices. It's tough and it creates future tension in our family. </p> <p>How did you learn to let criticism roll off your back? </p>