https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 10 Jun 2026 16:44:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation/page/2#post-2844186 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 18:36:26 +0000 gotkimchi 2844186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: lol that’s nuts </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation/page/2#post-2844185 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 18:32:00 +0000 misolee 2844185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lioneyes ohmgee. what da what? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation/page/2#post-2844178 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 18:15:03 +0000 Sams Mom 2844178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: we had a new guy we found sleeping in the back of the stock area on his first and second day... But I worked somewhere that you basically had to do a line of coke off a customer's shopping cart... Twice... In the same day to get fired </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation/page/2#post-2844167 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 17:29:00 +0000 gotkimchi 2844167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you guys like bad employee stories my husband hired someone who fell asleep his FIRST day on the job. And his second. And his third. Which was his last :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation/page/2#post-2844161 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 16:32:51 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2844161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="https://www.askamanager.org/2013/06/a-job-candidate-sent-an-invoice-for-her-interview.html" rel="nofollow">https://www.askamanager.org/2013/06/a-job-candidate-sent-an-invoice-for-her-interview.html</a> </p> <p>Seems like it isn't a millennial thing, but an entitled person thing. I know entitled people of all ages :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation/page/2#post-2844142 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 13:49:08 +0000 KT326 2844142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lioneyes: wow... just wow. I can't believe someone would do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation/page/2#post-2844139 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 13:40:11 +0000 Sams Mom 2844139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lioneyes: now that is ballsy... and entitled... holy crap! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2844137 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 13:38:32 +0000 lioneyes 2844137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee a former coworker told me she interviewed a millenial for a position, it wasn't a good fit, the girl wasn't offered the job...so she sent my friend an invoice for the time the interview took :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2844118 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 10:51:56 +0000 BadgerMom 2844118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: I hate making millennial generalizations too, especially since technically I am one lol. But man, they are an interesting group...</p> <p>Glad you got it all worked out, and hopefully he won't put you down again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2844116 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 10:46:58 +0000 jennlin821 2844116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: I didn't get a chance to read all the responses, but I just wanted to chime in. Many online job applications require you to list your previous supervisors and their contact information. Its not labeled as a reference and there is no information as to whether that person will be contacted or not. (or any way to have them not contacted) </p> <p>I did a lot of job searching over the past few years, and this section was often separate from the references section. So while it does sound like Bob was completely irresponsible and was trying to use you as a reference without permission, it is not always the case! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2844078 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 07:06:29 +0000 misolee 2844078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update!</p> <p>The school system sent me another automated email asking to fill out Bob’s recommendation. Not long after I received the email, I get This text from Bob. </p> <p>“Hi. I applied to this position for this school and wrote your name down just in case they email you to fill out something”</p> <p>That was it. So I just told him that I wasn’t a good fit and to look for someone else and he replied back oh okay. And that was that. Whew. At least he knows. </p> <p>Guys I don’t want to overgeneralize millennials or gen Z’s or whatever they’re called but man...their entitlement is something else. :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843731 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 13:44:17 +0000 Ajsmommy 2843731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd answer them honestly.</p> <p>As someone who is currently applying to jobs, whom has properly checked with my references I would appreciate it if my competition would have "accurate" reviews so that I might get bumped ahead of him..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843723 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 13:23:19 +0000 Sams Mom 2843723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: @2littlepumpkins: My husbands last background packet for his current department had to list all relationships in the last 10 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843706 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:37:14 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2843706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: Id believe that. They were probably looking for any signs of domestic violence. He probably had to clear that up/was polygraphed about it... just knowing people who have been there done that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843695 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:17:16 +0000 psw27 2843695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: probably true it was more of a background check situation. Blah. Oh well, I got screamed at one last time and he still got the job so it all worked out for him! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843693 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:14:38 +0000 PurplePeony 2843693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: I’m guessing it was for his background investigation, not as an “is he a good employee” reference. Depending on the level of the BI , they can go pretty deep into your personal life. But it’s crazy that the bad temper issue didn’t set off red flags... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843691 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:10:58 +0000 psw27 2843691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: we were not on good terms when we graduated college (2006) and I think he used me as a reference then. His excuse was that he had to list all prior relationships - maybe true? But he was hired in probably 2007 I would guess so long ago! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843649 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 10:28:09 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2843649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: Well in that case maybe ignoring it is the nicer thing to do! ;) I mean whatever you do... it's his own fault! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843648 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 10:27:22 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2843648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: Did he apply at a time when you were on good terms? These applications can take months and years. Yikes that he was hired...especially if he was hired after 2014. I have heard of people not hired or delayed for a long time for much less. :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843569 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 08:03:10 +0000 psw27 2843569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: We were NOT on friendly terms. They specifically asked if he had a bad temper and I said yes. Somehow, he is still hired. (border patrol....) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843565 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 07:45:16 +0000 misolee 2843565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsbells @2littlepumpkins it's a volunteer position so I give the students a lot of slack. BUT...with Bob it was to the point of straight up irresponsibility. For example, he would sign up for an event where x amount of people were needed and then not show up bc he overslept (at 11am). We talked several times during his time with us that even though it is a volunteer position, we need him to treat it 100% and if not then don't sign up bc it leaves us in a bind. He said he understood but it would happen again. I would hope he doesn't have the same attitude as real work...for his sake.</p> <p>@chuckles I don't think so bc he wouldn't or shouldn't have put us down as work experience. It's been awhile since I filled out a job application but volunteer experience and work experience are not the same right?</p> <p>@bluemasonjar So the form has all these criteria for the applicant that you rank them in. So for example it states: "learns new skills easily," or "attendance/timeliness" and then you have to check a box for exemplary, proficient, needs development, or ineffective. Then at the bottom, there's a place to write an actual recommendation and a spot to write in the dates Bob has worked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843540 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 23:48:44 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2843540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: good point, I'd definitely be more lenient in reviewing college volunteers than employees. For some reason I read this as he was an intern. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843539 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 23:44:47 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2843539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ignore it. Not to teach Bob a lesson but just because if he can't be bothered then neither can I!</p> <p>@psw27: whyyy would he put his ex? In law enforcement background investigations it's SO easy to get disqualified from either something you did years ago or from any random comment made by a friend/neighbor/employer.. putting his ex, even if on friendly terms, just seems like a weird decision to start!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843515 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 20:49:09 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2843515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Madison43. I would reply with the dates of employment and that is it. Bob should have contacted you and asked you to be a reference and if the system is just contacting previous supervisors then this is sufficient.</p> <p>I have been in the position to be a reference for a number of previous employees and interns and I am always happy to do it for the ones that really impressed me. But I have had a few that I couldn't even think of something nice to say about and had to tell them that I was not the best person to give a recommendation on their behalf. Awkward but I value my professional reputation and would not want someone to hire a poor candidate with my endorsement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843481 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 16:27:54 +0000 Chuckles 2843481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it possible that he just listed his previous work history and supervisor contact info and then the automated system contacted you? Often you have to check the "do not contact" box and otherwise it's fair game to contact someone. I agree with @erinbaderin:'s response if someone contacts you again. I had a teaching assistant last year who ended up being a nightmare. A previous supervisor had given a good recommendation, but I just don't know how it was possible that he did a good job somewhere else. It would have been much better if the previous employer had at least discreetly indicated that we shouldn't hire him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843469 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:00:26 +0000 Mrsbells 2843469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: were you honest with him in person during his time there about the expectations of him versus his work ethic? I don't necessarily think his approach to college volunteering will definitely be his work ethic on a real job. I think I might hold off until he reaches out to you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843462 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:49:20 +0000 erinbaderin 2843462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: Oh, in that case I’m changing to agree with the ignore votes! </p> <p>Also I’m kind of appalled at the nerve of the dude... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843452 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:08:23 +0000 Madison43 2843452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: same. If you’re able to, I might respond to the email - or in the body of the link, I guess - and simply write that you are unable to provide a response other than to confirm that he worked for you between X and Y dates. That usually gets the message across without actually saying anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843451 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:04:18 +0000 misolee 2843451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrscereal</p> <p>But the students usually asked first right?<br /> I’m just going to ignore it til he asks and then I guess I’ll have to let him know that I can’t write it for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/not-writing-a-letter-of-recommendation#post-2843449 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:01:53 +0000 misolee 2843449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin it’s a huge school district so one of those automated emails that asks you to follow link and write it in their system </p> <p>@mdf106 no reason to hurt him or make me feel good. I just don’t want to be dishonest and write something that I can’t stand by. </p> <p>@mamabear87 yes! Exactly. Based on the 3 years I have working with him, I would not want him working with my kids. I honestly think he thinks that he deserves a raving recommendation from me and that’s why he put my name down 🤷🏻‍♀️ </p>