https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 21:10:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621448 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 14:06:15 +0000 DesertDreams88 2621448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KayKay: @Anagram: @oliviaoblivia: I like the suggestion about naptime, too! That way he doesn't feel too restricted, since he is at our house for 8 hours a day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621445 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 14:05:25 +0000 looch 2621445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Then you have your answer! I think you have to know your audience when you're having these discussions, and you also need to be prepared if they say, okay, we won't be making any changes and you need to find an alternative. My parents are very involved in my son's life, my dad picks him up every day from Kindergarten, but I've told him time and again if it gets to be too much, to tell me and we'll work through a solution together. On the other hand, my dad DOES NOT listen when I tell him not to spoil my son. He's spoiled not with time, but attention, and that has its own problems. It's something that I have chosen not to make into a battle because I can't really affect any change on that front. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621443 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 14:01:50 +0000 DesertDreams88 2621443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Definitely not a hill to die on. But, a hill to have a discussion about :) As the 4 regular adults in his life, I think it is makes since to be reflective about what kind of example we all are setting for LO. Any discussion would definitely include DH &amp; I and how we are in this together. </p> <p>The ILs did not get to care for the other grandchildren much at all, so on the few occasions they saw them, they got spoiled - and that's fine here and there. But, in our case, with 40-45 hours a week of childcare, it's different. Before we all agreed on this situation, we all discussed the idea that as regular caregivers, they can't spoil him, instead they are helping raise him. That's a privilege that they appreciate. FIL is an amazing person, thoughtful listener, and peacemaker. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621428 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 13:51:01 +0000 KayKay 2621428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it was around a year-ish when DD2 definitely started noticing for and being adamant for bites of whatever everyone else was eating. I've always tried to serve her the same things as (at least) her older sister at meals, but it was around then that if, say, they were having waffles and I was having toast, she'd immediately point at me and be like "bite! bite!" She is not quite 2 and does that ALL THE TIME still. DH is often starving when he gets home (skips lunch sometimes) and tries to sneak in handfuls of a snack before dinner, and DD2 in particular ALWAYS catches him and hollers til she gets a bite or two. It makes sense when it's something like chips/cheetos/whatever, but she does it to me if I eat lunch after them, too....in which case she'll be hollering for a bite of the chicken sandwich that she rejected at dinner the night before when we all ate them together or whatever.</p> <p>All that to say, I think whatever you're not comfortable with your child having will (very soon) need to be kept put away until naptime or before/after childcare hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621426 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 13:48:03 +0000 looch 2621426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What are your choices here? If you don't use your inlaws, what are your other options for childcare? I think you need to decide if this is your hill to die on. If you approach your FIL and tell him he has to make a change, is he likely to tell you to STFU and find other arrangements or will he make an adjustment?</p> <p>I like to think about how I would react if someone criticized my habits and I was providing them help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621422 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 13:42:06 +0000 Anagram 2621422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I eat a fair amount of junk food....but we eat it when the girls are napping or sleeping at night. =) So can you ask FIL to only eat candy/chocolates when your kiddo is sleeping or with grandma?</p> <p>My husband has a serious chocolate addiction-he eats 1-2 bars a day. But our daughter is 3 and has literally never had one; in part because she couldn't eat dairy until recently but also because we just don't eat it in front of her and don't offer it except for special occasions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621329 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 11:48:44 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2621329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to say around eight months they notice what I'm eating. I distinctly remember serving DD2 chicken and roasted veggies one night when we were having pizza and get flying her sh*t until we gave her a piece too. She had never had pizza before but was adamant that she not get left out. I see DD3 starting the same things now. She turned right months yesterday.<br /> I'd tell your father in law that snacking on junk can happen during nap times.<br /> At this age I'm really diligent with having balanced meals on my plate and modeling how delicious my food is.<br /> Kids learn from our likes and dislikes as much as from their own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621291 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 11:03:48 +0000 gingerbebe 2621291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1.5-2 is definitely when it will become an issue as the kid asks for things and gets a taste for them. For our 2 year old son we keep a cabinet with his snacks in it and he's always going over and pointing to it asking for treats - and he's been doing that since 16 months? DH and I will have beer or wine or pop at dinner and our son will start reaching and demanding juice (he assumes we are drinking juice) and push his milk away. He also doesn't want different meals anymore unless it's a huge favorite or treat. At the very least he wants a taste of our meal. So we have to be mindful of what we eat and drink. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621288 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 10:54:58 +0000 catlady 2621288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you'll need to worry until somewhere between age 1.5 and 2, or maybe even later. Our LO had a very strict diet until 14 months (due to food sensitivities) and she never noticed us eating other stuff that she couldn't have in front of her. Definitely now at age 3, she would 100% demand candy if I ate it in front of her, and I think that type of understanding started around age 2, although I could be wrong. I can and do have an occasional soda in front of her, and she thinks of it like coffee, which is a "grownup drink". But she knows chocolate and candy and would ask for it if I had some (and I can't imagine not sharing with a toddler).</p> <p>As for the actual food and role modeling, it would definitely bother me quite a bit once my LO became more aware (I started a recent thread about grandparents feeding LOs terrible food), especially since your LO spends so much time with them. My FIL is similar and has truly terrible eating habits, but we are lucky and only see him on the occasional weekend, and we always emphasize that "his food" is a treat, and not a daily thing. Even then, it usually takes us another day to get back to normal so our LO stops asking for juice and cookies and whatever else she had at her grandparent's. It will be awkward, but you will definitely want to have a conversation with your FIL at some point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621267 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 10:29:59 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2621267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think to an extent you should be concerned that the people who watch your child all day set a good example, but I don't know that these things are a huge deal. For me, personally, I drink way too much soda, but my kids know it is for grown ups only and don't ask for it so that hasn't been an issue. I could see doing the same with the candy, but since I assume that your child might occasionally be given the candy that gets into the sticky situation of them asking for it every time they see it out and grandparents who don't like to say no. </p> <p>So I guess if it were me I would maybe just approach it as "we don't think it is good for LO to have regular access to candy, so it might be easier on you if you leave it at home so he isn't constantly bugging you for it" when he gets to the age that that is something he would be doing? My guess would be whenever your child is old enough to see the candy and recognize it is something he wants. With my first that was much older than with my second, as my second knows that junk food exists much younger ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nutritional-role-models#post-2621247 Wed, 14 Sep 2016 10:07:49 +0000 DesertDreams88 2621247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both ILs watch LO (7.5m) during the day. It's a huge blessing with SO many benefits. One drawback, though, is FIL's eating habits. He goes through 1-2 large Diet Cokes a day at our house and a big bag of "fun size" candy a week. At our house, he currently has a bag of Kit Kats, a bag of Three Musketeers, a bag of Mounds, and a big assorted bag. Yes, really. 4 large bags of candy. He also pops cough drops like candy, claiming it helps him "think" as he works on computer reports for his job. Thankfully right now LO is not crawling, but I do get worried that eventually in the next year or two, a cough drop will get left out within reach and it is the perfect choking hazard.</p> <p>I'm not in love with these habits, but I'm not in the practice of telling 60-year-old men what they should be. I myself am not a paragon of virtue in the eating department (I don't eat a lot of healthy stuff, but I don't eat a lot of junk food.) </p> <p>My concern is that he is setting the example for my child for 40 hours a week. I don't think it really matters now, but at what age would you be worried about LO seeing this much junk food consumption? I don't want him to grow up thinking it's normal we're good. At some point, I would be okay with asking FIL to leave the candy at home, but I'd rather wait until it's actually an issue. When do you think that would be? When did your kids start to notice other people's eating habits and asking questions? </p>