https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 23:43:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-i-was-groped-on-the-subway#post-780051 Tue, 14 May 2013 09:16:41 +0000 Foodnerd81 780051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've lived in NYC and Boston and haven't had a problem so far. I also prefer to wait for a slightly less crowded train than get on a super crowded one. </p> <p>I do know someone who had a bad experience on the train here in Boston though and she was somewhat traumatized (no groping, but leering at her and touching himself. So gross). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-i-was-groped-on-the-subway#post-780013 Tue, 14 May 2013 09:02:21 +0000 MamaMoose 780013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got groped on a train out of Naples, Italy when I was 15! But I've never experienced this when I lived in NYC (or anywhere else in the US). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-i-was-groped-on-the-subway#post-780002 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:59:03 +0000 Anagram 780002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To clarify---I've never been groped on an NYC subway/train. But I have other places! The only time it's happened in the U.S. was at a club when I was like, 20. The rest have all been in other countries, but it's still disturbing and makes me wonder how to prepare my LO for this when she's older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-i-was-groped-on-the-subway#post-779977 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:52:07 +0000 mrsjazz 779977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in NYC and there have been a few times I thought I was being groped, but I couldn't be sure because the trains were so crowded and I didn't want to be the crazy person who doesn't know how to ride a packed train. But the feeling of a man you don't know pressed up against you is just so gross, after this happened a couple of times I started moving my side carry bag to sit on my lower back/butt to prevent someone from pressing up against me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-i-was-groped-on-the-subway#post-779856 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:21:19 +0000 nana87 779856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've lived in either NYC and DC for 11 years now and have never been groped </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-i-was-groped-on-the-subway#post-779810 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:04:05 +0000 LindsayInNY 779810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've lived in Boston and NYC and never (knock on wood) been groped on the T/subway. But, reading that article made me wonder if it has happened without me knowing it. I've been on far too many morning rush hour trains where it's beyond packed and you end up pressed up against someone. I try to position myself near females or with my side to someone instead of front/back. It's really awkward and, at times, uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-i-was-groped-on-the-subway#post-779785 Tue, 14 May 2013 07:51:22 +0000 spaniellove 779785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It has happened for me when there wasn't a language barrier, but the time it angered me most is when I was in Korea and doing a real estate transaction. Some of my family members were there with me and the other person had a friend or relative, who proceded to grope my butt. When I told my family, they were disgusted but there was nothing anyone could really do because they already thought I was an annoyingly assertive woman and if I raised a stink the buyer would just back out. It was as if the other side was trying to get the upper hand or the last laugh in the siutation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-i-was-groped-on-the-subway#post-779767 Tue, 14 May 2013 07:41:52 +0000 Anagram 779767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/13/i-was-groped-on-the-subway/" rel="nofollow">http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/13/i-was-groped-on-the-subway/</a></p> <p>I read this article this morning and I got flashbacks to the times I've been groped and felt helpless. The first (few) times were all on the very-crowded rush hour Subte in Buenos Aires. I had a spanish class that started at 8 am and the subways there are like Japan-- when the doors slide open, you see a wall of people inside the subway car---but still, people just turn their backs to the crowd and shove their way in, backwards. No one complains, everyone is used to it and it happens on every stop.</p> <p>So after missing several trains a day for my first week in B.A., I gave up and joined in the craziness of turning backwards and pushing myself into the car. And then I started getting groped. It happened at least once a week. Sometimes it was so subtle, I couldn't tell if they meant it or it was accidental. It was so crowded, even though I would turn around and try to confront the groper, I couldn't tell who did it, since there would be 3-4 people pressed right up against me. Sometimes it was downright unmistakable....an outride grab on my butt. Once, a guy tried to slip his hand inside my skirt to grab! That time, I just started flinging my elbows behind me in every direction, not caring if I hit innocent people or not.</p> <p>The last two times were both in Guatemala, one year apart. It was almost like I got a butt grab on the one year anniversary of my first butt grab in Guatemala. The first happened in Antigua, on a rainy night when I was walking with a girl friend. We both had umbrellas and the rain was loud, so we didn't even hear anyone walking up behind us---until he pulled my skirt up and grabbed--hard--my butt. I screamed and tried to hit him with my umbrella, but he ran away quickly. It was shocking, but since I was with a friend on a somewhat crowded street, we laughed it off.</p> <p>A year later, I was in the mountain town of Xela, and I was walking home alone--but in a "nice" area of town, and it was only 8 pm. This time was much scarier, because as I was only a block from my rented room....I realized that particular street was deserted and I sped up my steps. Once again, it was raining. I was wearing a rain coat and had an umbrella....I wasn't wearing anything the least bit attractive. Out of literally nowhere, I felt a butt-grab. I was terrified......and I whirled around to see a man on a BIKE pedaling away....he did a drive-by-butt grab!.</p> <p>I fairly ran back to my apartment. Being alone, it was much more sinister. All night, I replayed what I "should have done" in my head. I should have turned faster--I should have pushed him off his bike--I should have asked a friend to walk the 4 blocks with me---I shouldn't have stayed out till 8 pm.</p> <p>The one thing all of those experiences has in common was that I had a major language barrier. I didn't have the words in Spanish to appropriately scream obscenities or tell the perp he should be ashamed of himself. And that was the worst part.</p> <p>Has this ever happened to you? How will you prepare your daughters to handle this? I don't want to scare my daughter into not experiencing the world, but I want to give her the tools to handle these things.</p> <p>If you read the comments on the NYT article, these experiences seem so common for women. =( </p>