https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 02:37:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258744 Sat, 08 Aug 2015 15:53:54 +0000 hummusgirl 2258744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sometimesshesings: I have also been surprised by how things have shaken out since becoming parents. I babysat since I was 12, was a teaching assistant, camp counselor, etc., and my husband was a camp counselor too but a total slacker. Now with our LO, he's super hands-on and does the majority of parenting stuff. Who would've thought?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258648 Sat, 08 Aug 2015 11:27:08 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 2258648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do majority, he does significant amount. He works more hours than me, so I'm home with the kids more hours than he is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258455 Sat, 08 Aug 2015 00:25:44 +0000 sometimesshesings 2258455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is a (mostly) stay-at-home-parent, so he does the vast majority of childcare. We both think his personality is a better fit for the day-to-day work of child rearing, which is interesting and somewhat unexpected since I have lots of experience working with kids and my job involves managing early education initiatives. I love love love kids, but they wear me down fast! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258422 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 22:57:25 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2258422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the majority but I'm a SAHM so that's to be expected. DH is still very hands on with DD though and is plenty involved in her care. I'm happy with the arrangement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258381 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 21:30:31 +0000 Charm54 2258381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the majority - but as a teacher, my hours are much more flexible ..: Dh commutes and works long hours. I have summers off, and am currently on my second year-long mat leave. So the day to day childcare is pretty much my domain. That being said, when Dh is home (after work and weekends) the workload is split pretty evenly - I'd say 50/50. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258367 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 21:04:59 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2258367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the majority but I SAH so.it makes sense. Now that we have 2 DH does a lot more but sometimes he needs to be reminded or asked to do it which can be aggravating but it's not a big deal. I'm fairly happy with our arrangement. He's a good dad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258366 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 21:03:19 +0000 Mae 2258366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a SAHM so obviously I do most of the childcare. In the time that we are both home thing are somewhat evenly split. I'm still responsible for pretty much all of the "decisions" (like reminding him to change her, suggesting what to feed her, etc) but I think that is because I'm home all week so I figure out what works best and whatnot so he relies on me probably more than he HAS to to tell him what to do. That being said he gets up with her just about every morning, puts her to bed half the time, and when we are both home we are either all hanging out together or split our "time off" pretty evenly so I feel like we have good balance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258363 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 20:55:49 +0000 yin 2258363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the majority because I stay at home with the kids. We pretty much split the work load on nights and weekends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258342 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 20:29:23 +0000 yoursilverlining 2258342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband does at least 50%. He would say I do a lot more, but I don't, especially if you include cooking, cleaning, etc which he definitely does more than 50% of - more like 90% of household duties!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258304 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 19:09:54 +0000 BSB 2258304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the breadwinner and DH has told me in the past that he would love to be a SAHD and that is precisely what we are going to do. DH also works in a field where he is able to work from home. I will be interested to see how things are split a year from now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258302 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 19:05:09 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2258302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I stay home so I do majority obviously because I'm here all day. BUT when DH is off or home he does almost everything. I'm happy with our arrangement for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258295 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 18:28:10 +0000 hellobeeboston 2258295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have one LO now with another coming in 6/7 weeks and I would say it's 55% me, 45% DH, so basically even. I usually tackle the morning, DH does the evening, then we are usually all together on the weekend and we each get some free time. Scared about having 2 and how we will manage it all!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258291 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 18:20:20 +0000 Anagram 2258291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd say it's about 60/40 split for DH and I when I'm not pregnant. When I was pregnant and sick all the time it was 50/50 or maybe even 40/60 with DH doing more. But because my work day is 2 hours shorter than his work day, I have an "extra" 2-3 hours of solo childcare a day that he doesn't have.</p> <p>I will say that both of us struggle with sick kids and "dings" on our work record---but I do think he gets EVEN MORE crap at work for this than I do. Although he still presses on and takes the day when he has to. But that's not easy on either one of us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258281 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 17:59:00 +0000 Foodnerd81 2258281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the vast majority, but I SAH, so of course I do. He's plenty hands on with her when he is home in terms of playing, but still needs to be reminded of schedules or told what to feed her for a meal. Part of that is because I'm the one with her all the time, but I think he could also take a bit more initiative. But he handles all of the finances so it's not unfair- but yes, we ended up falling into very stereotypical gender roles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258279 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 17:55:54 +0000 ShootingStar 2258279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd say we're somewhere around 60/40 with me doing more of the childcare. A lot of that is the fact the I do mornings solo including drop off. And DH is supposed to do bath time every night, but a lot of the time lately DS gets upset if I don't go with them. Other random times DH will do something around the house, like mow the lawn, and I get baby duty. </p> <p>But overall he more than pulls his weight. He does so much around the house and helps out with so many things (like he started making DS's lunch for me so I have an easier morning). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258276 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 17:48:20 +0000 Mamasig 2258276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the vast majority. I wish it was more equal but DH works a shift schedule so it's really not possible to do 50/50. And the baby mostly just wants me. But I see that changing as they get older. Our older son is all about daddy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258221 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 16:37:52 +0000 HabesBabe 2258221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only do the majority because I work from home/telecommute. If I was in an office, it would be split 50/50. DH is very hands on and loves his time with the kids, and doesn't consider it "babysitting" like some other dads I know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258177 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 15:49:09 +0000 DillonLion 2258177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the lion's share of the childcare when we're at home (we both WOH full time), but DH does almost all of the chores (laundry, dishes, trash, yard work, car maintenance, cooking dinner, etc.) so I think we're pretty even. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258161 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 15:36:57 +0000 gingerbebe 2258161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm on a yearlong maternity leave and DH is our sole breadwinner at the moment. So most of the childcare is on me, although my mother comes a few days a week to help out. Overall, I voted that I'm really happy with our childcare situation. </p> <p>My husband runs a law practice from home while also working a full-time job as a college professor and getting his Executive MBA, so its hectic for sure, but we're blessed with flexibility since he only has to commute to teach a few days a week. While my husband is often in his home office working until 11pm or later most nights, he also wakes up with DS most days, takes him to the park in the mornings, does almost all the diaper changes when he's home, puts our son down for naps, and gives him his daily bath before bedtime. On days he works from home, we also try to eat most of our meals together and my DH is great about doing dishes, laundry, and taking out the garbage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258160 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 15:36:51 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2258160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For childcare, it's pretty equal.. especially after I was done breastfeeding. So I voted that I'm happy the way things are, and that we are equally divided. He is perfectly fine handling both kids on his own, and is a lot more playful with them too. He wakes up early, lets me sleep in.. and when they get sick, we take an equal amount of time off to help with their care. </p> <p>Household chores... is a different story. But I also have higher expectations of cleanliness than him. He has a high threshold for mess and clutter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258158 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 15:36:05 +0000 sunny 2258158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After I started working outside the home, it was split pretty evenly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258137 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 15:13:24 +0000 CakeLady 2258137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is pretty equal in our household, if anything DH does a little more. He does daycare pickup and starts dinner with DS most days and I've been traveling for work a lot lately. When DS was still nursing, I did a little more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258131 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 15:06:49 +0000 Jess1483 2258131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the majority, but that's because I SAH/work part time (I'm currently on maternity leave). DH works from home, but he's very busy all day. On the weekends, it's pretty equal. Now housework, that's a different story...</p> <p>ETA: I do almost all baby care, since I'm nursing, but if DH isn't working, that means he's on toddler duty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258128 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 15:03:36 +0000 Adira 2258128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we only had one, I would've said the I did the majority, while my husband did a significant amount. Now that we have two though, I feel like it's pretty equal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258125 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 15:01:42 +0000 Boopers 2258125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's hard for me to say right now. LO is 4 months and breast fed so I feel that I do a lot and have the baby a lot. I've also been off all summer (I'm a teacher) so while it feels like I do so much based on the amount of time a day I spend with him, DH does do a lot when he gets home from work.</p> <p>I think I'll have a better idea of how our parenting duties will be split once I start back at work next week and we get into a routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-on-modern-fatherhood#post-2258112 Fri, 07 Aug 2015 14:55:09 +0000 Ms.Badger 2258112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw this article and thought some here would find it interesting:<br /> Millennial Men Aren’t the Dads They Thought They’d Be<br /> <a href="http://tinyurl.com/ol6g8sa" rel="nofollow">http://tinyurl.com/ol6g8sa</a></p> <p>I would say that our childcare breakdown right now is about 70/30, but hope that when I'm done breastfeeding it will break more even, How does the childcare breakdown between you and your SO? How has it changed over time? </p>