https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 22:56:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528464 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 07:10:36 +0000 edelweiss 1528464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>like some others have said, i don't feel obligated but i would like to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528458 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 07:06:44 +0000 looch 1528458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: exactly. The university I attended cost about $100,000, all in, I graduated in 1997. The cost to attend the same school is now $250,000. </p> <p>I don't feel the cost is justified. We're not even talking ivy, we're talking a second tier school. There's no way salaries have caught up to justify that kind of spend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528450 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 07:02:26 +0000 lamariniere 1528450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: yes to that too. I should have added that I do expect my kids to go to college, especially since it is more or less free here. What I'm saying no to is the ludicrous cost of education in the US. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528439 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 06:54:30 +0000 looch 1528439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: exactly what you've written. </p> <p>While I would love for my son to have the American College Experience, unless he is prepared to shoulder the burden, the best financial option for him is to attend college in Europe, where you basically only pay for your room and board.</p> <p>To me, college isn't a privilge, it's a necessity to compete in a global environment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528436 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 06:51:37 +0000 TheReelDeal 1528436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want to help with some of my kid's undergraduate education, but I want them to also have to contribute via loans, scholarships etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with teaching the value of money. I believe there is a benefit to planning for your future. A number of my friends and my husband who had 100% tuition help ended up with mounds of credit card debt after college, I did not. Anecdotal at best, but why I feel like some responsibility to pay, from the kid, may work in the long run. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528430 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 06:46:15 +0000 wonderstruck 1528430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I have the finances I would feel like it's something I want to do for my kids. However, I don't want them taking advantage of that the way I've seen some of my peers do - if their grades aren't good and the effort isn't there I won't pay for that, and I would want them to have a part-time job to build some savings, or volunteering/internship/something to help them already have some experience when they graduate. I'd like them to be able to get through college without the stress of building an enormous debt, but I'd also like them to build their work ethic! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528412 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 06:28:50 +0000 bushelandapeck 1528412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We plan to help with college (not all) 9 Arthur stbut we don't feel obligated to. DH had his paid for but mine was not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528395 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 06:08:25 +0000 Bookish 1528395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I hope she goes to college and we are saving for that, but higher education is a privilege, and I do not feel obligated to pay for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528308 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 01:38:06 +0000 BSB 1528308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, we don't feel obligated. We will help out where we can. Graduating high school is one test and if you want to continue your education, you'll have to work for it in college. I think going to college will help kids learn to become independent and be more responsible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528307 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 01:36:17 +0000 lamariniere 1528307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel obligated. Even less so now that I'm married to a European, living in Europe where the majority of universities are free. When we first met, my husband could believe that so many people have so much student debt (including me). My husband has a masters and his education was practically free (yes, Europeans pay a lot in taxes, so nothing is truly "free"). I recently saw the tuition price for the class of 2014 at my alma mater and it is not far from $60k per year. When my kids are ready to go to college, that university will be ridiculously expensive, out of touch with reality and definitely not an option for them when they can get a great education for very little out of pocket here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528305 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 01:29:17 +0000 lemondrop 1528305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Undergrad at a state university- yes, just like we expect them to go to college. We were both raised with the expectation that college is the next step and will be taken care of, we plan to raise our boys the same way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528250 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 23:33:40 +0000 BabyMats 1528250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We plan to save to pay as much as we can but don't feel like we have to. Education is very important to us so I don't want the expenses to deter him from it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528208 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 23:04:07 +0000 Freckles 1528208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't feel obligated, but we want to. Our parents made sacrifices so that they could pay for our college tuition (granted, it isn't as expensive as it is in the US). We are in a much better situation than they were so it would feel weird if we didn't. I also see it as paying it forward. We may be in trouble if she wants to go to a good US college though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college/page/2#post-1528115 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 22:16:37 +0000 autumnlove 1528115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will pay for some (maybe all) undergrad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1528110 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 22:12:54 +0000 Mamasig 1528110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Obligated to pay all of it? No. I would like to contribute and help pay for part of the cost. I agree that you value it more if you contribute to paying it. I don't think there is anything wrong with getting school loans. </p> <p>I live in an area where the public schools are not the best so we will be putting our children in catholic school. After paying for PK through 12th grade of that, we will do what we can. I'm sure that all of that tuition equals the cost of college and probably more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1528052 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 21:36:58 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1528052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. We will help if we can, like our parents did. We will save up for her though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1528048 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 21:35:41 +0000 winniebee 1528048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Our parents paid for our undergrad educations so it feels like a "pay it forward" scenario </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1528038 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 21:30:40 +0000 reverie 1528038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel an obligation, but my parents paid for zero and I came out with 6 figure debt (6 year professional degree). I will do everything in my power to set my children up to avoid that. It has been overwhelming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1528031 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 21:27:57 +0000 Smurfette 1528031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all.</p> <p>We will help with what we can. But if then have to get loans, they get loans. I had loans and they were paid off in ten years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527998 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 21:12:54 +0000 pui 1527998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not an obligation really, but I would pay for it. </p> <p>DH's parents gave him something much more valuable. They helped him when he started his first business when he was 14. His dad spent a lot of time teaching him how to work and manage his own business and they funded his first expenses. Because of that he was able to buy his own car, pay his own way through college and save his own down payment on a home. It also helped him grow into a much more independent and successful adult. I'd like to do something similar with our kids.</p> <p>What I really feel I am obligated to do is give my kids the best possible start in life. I don't think that necessarily has anything to do with paying for their college. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527984 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 21:08:03 +0000 LovelyPlum 1527984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I would rather pay for college than have a nice house, nice car, nice vacations, etc. Education is very important to us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527930 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:51:26 +0000 sunny 1527930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not sure if I feel obligated but our plan is to pay for as much as possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527908 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:46:05 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1527908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Obligated no, but I would certainly like to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527901 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:44:44 +0000 mrsjyw 1527901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel an obligation, I want to! We do expect college degrees as education is a high priority in our households (both us and our parents, etc.). I feel lucky that we're able to save towards their college. My parents WISH they could have, but they worked their asses off to get me TO college and I'm forever grateful to have had the opportunity to go, because of that I'm able to provide our kid(s) an even greater advantage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527891 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:40:52 +0000 yoursilverlining 1527891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I feel a sort of obligation. We both believe that college (and likely, more than just a BA/BS) is expected, so I feel that I have an obligation to help LO with the huge expense of college. </p> <p>I guess I just feel the same way about saving for college as I do for daycare costs; it just is one of the costs of having children, so even though we don't have a ton of money, some goes to college savings each month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527882 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:37:54 +0000 mrsjazz 1527882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do feel a responsibility to help pay for college (we can't afford to pay for a full college education unless she was to go to a city/state school) because of my own experience. I'd like her to work hard and get scholarships to help pay for it along with the money we save up. The way things are going now I will be done with my loans by the time she is a sophomore (which is why I am overpaying right now so that I can be done before she goes to college). I don't want her to start off her adult life with this large number looming over her head. I wish I had been taught about finances and loans and all that jazz when I was a teenager, but I wasn't. </p> <p>So, yes, I feel a responsibility--I think a lot of people want to do better than what they had, at least people who grew up in low-income families like I did. I want her to have more than I had--and for me that also means helping to fund her college education. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527877 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:35:40 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 1527877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. We have a 529, and between my husband's contributions out of each paycheck and some enthusiastic grandparents, I think there will be a nice dent in LO's college costs... but even if we have the means, I want him to take out a basic loan every year to build credit and have some "skin in the game." I'd also like lots of kids eventually (like, between 3-5) so paying for college in full for all of them is not realistic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527858 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:29:09 +0000 Dandelion 1527858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527855 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:28:02 +0000 Andrea 1527855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel obligated to. Just want to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obligation-to-pay-for-college#post-1527853 Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:27:33 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1527853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel obligated, but I will do anything I can to make that possible. I feel about it the same way I feel about anything for my child. We will do our best to do it for him, but if I just cannot, then I cannot.<br /> My parents personally could not afford it. My sister and I were in college at the same time. We ended up getting full rides after going to private schools all our lives and studying with our parents every night. They provided us with cars and gas and laptops to help us get through college easier. That's all they could do. I love them for it. They set us up very nicely for college, even though they couldn't actually pay for it. I don't think they felt obligated, they just thought it was just as important as anything else. I guess I share that way of thought.</p> <p>ETA: I was 100% on my own for grad school. And yes, they expected and almost demanded grad school even though they couldn't pay for it. I did it because I wanted to, and also because I wanted to capitalize on all the hard work my parents went through with me and my education. </p>