https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:38:47 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-183527 Fri, 08 Jun 2012 15:04:12 +0000 ladyfingers 183527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was adopted in a closed adoption at birth. They did provide some very basic medical history, and I ended up finding my mother and learning there's nothing serious on her side, but nobody knows where my birth dad is, nor does anybody particularly care. So there's that big missing gap in my history, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-182194 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 17:36:34 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 182194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rachel: We have a semi-open adoption so we got a health history on both parents and some background information on the family... but nothing on maternal grandfather's side, so we'll have to explore that more... but birthmom doesn't have much of a relationship with him, so it'll be super-touchy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-182180 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 17:21:42 +0000 Mrs. Blue 182180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cyneswith: This is exactly our situation, except DH bio dad apparently just decide he couldn't be a father even though he had a college degree and was from a good family. I hate him a little for looking at my DH as a tiny baby and thinking he wasn't worth having in his life. :-/. Nice to know others deal with this, too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-182174 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 17:13:46 +0000 cyneswith 182174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only info we have on DH's biodad is his name. Until recently, we thought he was dead. (Abusive, a druggie, and took two years to track down to give up his parental rights so DH's then-step-dad could officially adopt him.) We don't want a relationship - we just want medical history. So... you aren't alone! But I have no helpful information either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-182010 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 13:58:52 +0000 Mrs. Blue 182010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tricycle: We would totally use a service like that! I don't know if one exists, but it should. I shall google and see! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-182009 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 13:57:34 +0000 Mrs. Blue 182009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rock n Roll: She definitely doesn't have a medical history. His whole life, they have just put "unknown."</p> <p>@MrsBrewer: That's how DH is. He doesn't want to meet him. It just makes it tricky when you NEED to know the history for a specific medical reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-182008 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 13:56:25 +0000 Mrs. Tricycle 182008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder if there's some kind of agency that could serve as the middle man. Maybe life would be easier for all parties involved if the info was transferred between a neutral party? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-181989 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 13:30:05 +0000 MrsBrewer 181989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I am in a similar situation, My dad was adopted and he never met or wanted to meet his biological parents. So I have no family history on my dad's side, and my grandmother on my mom's side was adopted as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-181986 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 13:27:55 +0000 Rock n Roll 181986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ask his mom or grandparents. If his mom got child support his whole life, she might know how to get a hold of bio-dad if needed. Also, she might already have medical history because they would have asked about it a lot when your husband was growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-181944 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 12:51:20 +0000 Shutterbug 181944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: did you get any sort of medical history from M's bio parents? It would be nice if that was standard in adoptions - some sort of "cheat sheet" with basic medical history. Maybe it is, I don't know enough about the process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-181940 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 12:46:28 +0000 sorrycharlie 181940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any good advice, but just wanted to extend sympathy. My mom has this issue a lot with my younger sister - she's adopted, and though my parents know who her parents are, they don't know much *about* them nor can they really get in touch with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-181880 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 11:57:21 +0000 Mrs. Blue 181880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Such a tough and difficult situation. Hopefully, your relationship with the bio family will help!</p> <p>@MamaMoose: Thanks for the suggestions! I definitely think we would do it be letter, as that is probably the only way we have of contacting any of them. I believe his bio dad has one sister and a mother that are living. </p> <p>To make it more weird, DH's mom NEVER talks about his bio-dad, so it's not something we can just casually bring up. Pretty much everything we know is from DH's grandparents who knew the bio dad since he dated DH's mom for several years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-181862 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 11:40:27 +0000 MamaMoose 181862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there any one else from DH's Bio Dad's family that your husband would want to meet? Grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc? </p> <p>I've never been in this situation so I don't have much advice. But if I were your hubs I probably wouldn't want to meet someone who wanted nothing to do with me, so I would try to get the info I needed through a third party, or in a way that's as impersonal as possible (i.e. email communication) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-181861 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 11:39:59 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 181861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're going to have that issue. I have no wisdom... only sympathy! To make ours more complicated, it's not even OUR bios! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/obtaining-medical-history-from-a-mia-parent-anyone-been-in-this-situation#post-181849 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 11:27:09 +0000 Mrs. Blue 181849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH's bio dad bailed right after he was born, and DH has never met him. DH's dad adopted him when he married my MIL. We've had some health issues at our house lately, and it's made me think a lot about the fact that we have NO medical history from DH's paternal side. This makes me nervous for his health, but it also means we'll be missing medical history that might be important to our future children's health.</p> <p>Obviously, I would not seek out this info without DH's blessing. There are tons of emotional issues tied to this and deciding to contact someone who wanted nothing to do with you is not an easy decision. We would be able to find the bio family so that's not an issue. Bio father paid child support DH's whole life, but just never wanted to meet him, be involved, etc.</p> <p> I was wandering if anyone has been in this situation? If so, why did you decide to contact a bio family? Or why not? How did you go about approaching the bio? </p>