https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 10:28:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2006708 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 12:20:04 +0000 Kelley_lovelikecrazy 2006708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good for you! You made a decision that was in the best interest of you (and your family) and that's awesome! </p> <p>Just look at this as temporary. You can do anything for a few months. And figure out what you want to do. You don't have to be a SAHM (which is super hard!) you could look at other jobs, or start your own business. You could end up loving staying at home once you get in the groove. </p> <p>Give yourself a little bit a break and pick a date to evaluate things. Then on that date start looking at other options. Repeat: You can do anything for a few months! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003588 Wed, 31 Dec 2014 06:37:40 +0000 Cherrybee 2003588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh I'm so sorry. They say that when one door closes another opens. 2015 is gonna be awesome for you! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003579 Wed, 31 Dec 2014 06:18:37 +0000 looch 2003579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Transitions are challenging, in either direction, so don't beat yourself up over it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003461 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 23:52:21 +0000 Greentea 2003461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope we, you, anyone?, everyone?, can see all the value in SAH. It is tough- physically, mentally, emotionally. You are contributing in a way that is important. I could go on and on but blah blah blah. No shame is all I am saying. I wish it wasn't meant with negativity. Caring for kids is a huge responsibility and it is important. Like anything, it's what you put in, but the SAHPs I know are stressed, work hard and are as exhausted as anyone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003452 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 23:36:19 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2003452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry about the crappy situation. SAH was a huge transition, and it took me a good 2 months to feel more settled, though I still have no idea how anyone keeps their house clean. :-/ Hoping good things come your way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003446 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 23:27:02 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 2003446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: I felt like that a lot as a SAHM. It's not for everyone. I hope you grow into the role more than I did, or find a way to return to a job you like (I WAH now, which has its own frustrations, but I do feel less "trapped" than I did then). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003439 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 23:08:54 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2003439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know this must be really hard for you and it must feel like you had very little control in the decision.</p> <p>This is a temporary thing and I'm very sure knowing you, that just the right thing will come along in due time! </p> <p>Don't extrapolate the circumstance to mean something about you. And try to find those moments that refresh you-- mama coffee dates, date night, or a pedicure on a Saturday morning!</p> <p>I'll be on mat leave for a couple weeks in February and am happy to virtually hang out then! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003435 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 23:02:47 +0000 birdofafeather 2003435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i hope the time at home makes clear the path you want! either you get into a groove SAH or you find that you really want to work and you can find something that you love that works for your family.</p> <p>i feel you on the identity thing. even though i WAH and have the career i want, because i'm the primary caregiver, i can also feel like a bit of my identity is missing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003402 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 22:17:45 +0000 MamaCate 2003402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: Oh I remember your drama! I guess I am glad you at least have closure but what a mess! I am home with LO for two weeks right now on holiday break and it has made me really appreciate, again, the work that sahps do day in and day out. I know it is not the same as your situation but I hear you and would have a hard time with the professional identity piece too! Good luck with the transition! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003382 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 21:51:54 +0000 jedeve 2003382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: people are SO judgy! One of my coworkers (see: new ED) would always talk about her SAH friends who were just basically women of leisure. And then I get people at the library telling me what they really think of working moms. It's amazing what people will say when they think you are on their side. (Or when you are related.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003376 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 21:47:08 +0000 Torchwood 2003376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm currently a housewife, and I feel you on being embarrassed telling people. It 100% makes the most sense for us right now, and honestly I'm very happy with the arrangement, but I hate feeling like I'm being judged. Especially since the IL's are the judgiest of all. And they see being a SAHM as just as bad, so it won't be better when LO arrives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003368 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 21:40:58 +0000 singingbee 2003368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope it goes well! It must have been very frustrating to be in that situation. It would bother me if people kept saying at that stuff to me, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003367 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 21:40:24 +0000 blackbird 2003367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: I'm sorry. I would easily feel the same way </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003365 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 21:39:26 +0000 ALV91711 2003365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a tough decision to have to make. I can see how you would feel to go from working to SAH. I've been off work a week since daycare is closed and it is more tiring I find. And the house isn't cleaner because we are here all day making messes. </p> <p>I'm glad you can see the positives in it and hopefully it will all work out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/officially-a-sahm-1#post-2003353 Tue, 30 Dec 2014 21:28:29 +0000 jedeve 2003353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I posted a bunch about all my work drama a few months ago and so I thought I would update. </p> <p>(Back story: my org hired a ED who no one liked, almost everyone quit, I decided to quit on my mat leave cause I was miserable, they said that my use of the sick fund was only for employees who planned on returning to work, offered me a raise (which they didn't have the funding for),<br /> I agreed to work ten hours a week from home until January). </p> <p>So here is the update: the ED quit. I briefly thought about staying on, but then I found out instead of hiring, they are promoting two of my new coworkers to be co-EDs. One of whom I just couldn't stand working with and was a large reason I quit. I realize bad coworkers are a fact of life, but these two plus the ED were all friends and there was just no working around them. </p> <p>I still just can't believe it. Her work is terrible. I did a good chunk of her job for her while I was there. I don't think I should have been ED or anything but it's just such a bad choice it's frustrating. My FIL is on the board too which makes it a bit awkward. I'm just keeping my mouth shut. </p> <p>So I'm staying home. I'm not thrilled about it, I would have rather been working at that job (although not in those circumstances.) But I'd rather be at home than looking for work or starting over right now.</p> <p>It's a little tough. I feel like I've lost a huge part of my identity. I hate hearing people say how lucky I am (yes, so lucky to have daycare be so expensive it doesn't make financial sense for me to work and to have my office implode). I hate hearing how it's better for kids. I'm pretty sure my oldest was done in care, thankyouverymuch. Staying at home is more work than I thought it would be. When I worked PT, I had to spend a lot of my two days at home catching up on housework. So I thought I would have more free time because "I did everything a SAH mom did plus I worked." Except now I have messes to clean up every day, and someone always making another. And I can't ask DH to take the kids if someone is sick - it's always going to be me. Even little errands that I could have done to or from work are big chores taking two kids with me now. </p> <p>On the other hand it's good. LO has lots of allergies so it's nice not worrying about him at daycare. And lo2 needs physical therapy so I can work with him more. And I can control what they do and how they are taught/disciplined more, which is a good thing with my oldest's personality.</p> <p>But I miss feeling intelligent and important. I was kind of embarrassed telling everyone I met at DH's office party I SAHed. I realize this is way more about my insecurities than anything else. I just needed to blab.</p> <p>Eta. The point of this post was the work from home gig is over now and I'm just at home as of today. </p>