https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 17 May 2026 03:34:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/3#post-2821820 Thu, 10 May 2018 15:56:44 +0000 skinnycow 2821820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: My daughter has eczema, asthma, and seasonal allergies. Sucks that they all seem to relate :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821798 Thu, 10 May 2018 14:36:32 +0000 Adira 2821798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: Thanks! And hopefully yours just has eczema and no other issues!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821771 Thu, 10 May 2018 13:47:49 +0000 periwinklebee 2821771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: ugh, my poor baby :sad: I hope your younger one starts to outgrow them soon.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821769 Thu, 10 May 2018 13:41:02 +0000 Adira 2821769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: Fingers crossed, but I do think all three are closely linked. Both my boys had/have all three. My oldest (5) outgrew the eczema and is outgrowing a food allergy, but still has asthma. And my youngest (3) still has all three. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821766 Thu, 10 May 2018 13:34:52 +0000 periwinklebee 2821766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladybee: @Adira: My 3 month old has horrible eczema, and I'm worried that the allergies and asthma (which I had as a kid) are coming next - from what I've read eczema is often closely linked to seasonal allergies :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821744 Thu, 10 May 2018 12:01:17 +0000 MrsSCB 2821744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>FWIW, I don't know if anyone has really talked about this, but for many illnesses, you're contagious before you have symptoms. This is the case with flu, HFM, etc., per the CDC. So it's literally impossible to perfectly quarantine yourself or your kids all the time. My son's worst bout of illness was HFM. We kept him out as soon as he developed sores, but his pedi said by that point the other kids had been exposed already anyway. This is not to say you should just send your kids to daycare or playdates with HFM or whatever, but the reality is kids are going to be out and about while contagious whether it's obvious or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821716 Thu, 10 May 2018 11:01:59 +0000 Sams Mom 2821716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The "it's just allergies" drives me absolutely batshit, because so many people use it as a blanket statement for any kind of snotty coughing symptoms a kid or themselves have. I know it really can be allergies, but if your kid is getting over a cold or what not just be honest. They're probably past the contagious part, so it's not a big deal. </p> <p>If they are sick, I wouldn't have them out in public spaces like a play place or whatever. If you stay home sick, you don't get to go do fun stuff was the rule growing up. If you were too sick for school, you're too sick to eat out, or go to a friends, or to that high school football game or whatever. </p> <p>I only had my son in daycare from 12 weeks to 9 months, and we fully experienced the daycare crud. He was also teething through that whole time so some of it could have been teeth, some could have been the crud. I followed the no fever, diarrhea, or vomiting for 24 hours rule. We also kept him out for ear infections without fever for a couple days too. Thankfully my work is flexible with me staying home with a sick kid or having appointments for myself or him. I stayed home for 4 days straight (paid) with him when he was 4 1/2 months old with what they said was HMAF but he didn't ever get the rash or whatever. He did have constant puking, diarrhea, and fever; which I ended up with. </p> <p>He was fired from daycare when he was 9 months old, so now he has a nanny/babysitter. She takes him out and about to the park, and indoor activity centers so he still gets his fair share of crap, but he's lost the constant runny nose (he's not teething anymore but also not in daycare). </p> <p>We don't really do playdates, but if we were going somewhere with kids or friends were coming over with kids I would let them know if we had any recent illness to let them make the call about their kid being around my son, and I would expect them to do likewise for me. </p> <p>Overall, keeping your kids out while contagious is very important, not taking them to unnecessary places while sick is also very important. Just call it what it is, so the people with actual allergies aren't treated like they have the plague because you can't trust the It's just allergies statement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821704 Thu, 10 May 2018 10:42:26 +0000 psw27 2821704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow this post has certainly evolved! </p> <p>Do I like going to people's houses if their child is obviously sick? No. I do think that is inconsiderate. Especially with younger children. My 3.5 year old I hardly think about it, my 1 year old I don't really either but I did when he was little. </p> <p>Do I quarantine my child for sniffles, snot or minor coughs? Absolutely not. Children have the sniffles and snots because they don't know how to blow their noses like adults do. Do you stay home every time you need to blow your nose? No. So yeah. My kids go to school when they have clear runny noses and normal energy levels. Fevers, lethargic behavior, horrible croup, diarrhea, vomit, etc. I would absolutely do what is in the best interest of my child - which is to rest at home. If my kid is fine and my pediatrician says he's fine and my daycare says he is fine, he is going to school/restaurants/etc. The only place I don't bring my germy kids (pretty much ever) is to meet newborns. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821640 Thu, 10 May 2018 08:41:15 +0000 avivoca 2821640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get 10 sick days a year and I'm up to 16 personal days per year. My husband also receives sick/personal time, but unfortunately he has to accrue it while I receive a lump sum. So anytime our kids are sick during the first nine months of the year, I end up having to be the one to stay home with them most of the time because a) I have the time and b) I don't have a chronic illness (my husband is diabetic) with multiple doctor's appointments to monitor it. </p> <p>I would love to stay home with them every time they have a sniffle, but if I did I wouldn't have a job. So for the past two weeks, my kids have gone to school with cold symptoms that started with the late bloom. I've already exhausted half of my sick time and about 1/3 of my personal time on sick days for my kids. That's not including the week I took off to move last month. Meanwhile, I'm trying to work with my own cold/allergies because I literally cannot afford to take time off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821637 Thu, 10 May 2018 08:33:34 +0000 Littlebit7 2821637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyofthewest: I’m right there with you. I’m a per diem physical therapist. I was regularly scheduled 10 hours per week plus a weekend here and there, however I was having to call out so often that I eventually had to resign (I wasn’t fired, I just figured it wasn’t fair to other staff. And also, I wasn’t getting paid if I didn’t work and barely breaking by the time I paid the sitter on the days I did). It was frustrating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821634 Thu, 10 May 2018 08:23:54 +0000 tlynne 2821634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Actually, in almost all fields (including mine) FMLA does not kick in until ALL sick days and/or PTO is used. It's also UNPAID....and if there are families like mine, unpaid time off is a struggle. It also can rarely be used 1 day at a time. For my FMLA, which was due to emergency surgery, the doctor had to fax in paperwork for my school system to approve FMLA...so I essentially missed 6 weeks of pay...I'd used all of my PTO for DS2 to go to the doctor/specialists because of his CP, and to go to court to complete his adoption. Every time my kids are sick now (and DS2 just had scarletina, for which he HAD to stay out), they either go to school, or I have to find some willing person to keep them for me, as I can't take off any more time this year. I always find a way to make time for my children when they are actually sick enough to stay home, but I definitely have sent them both to daycare/school when they have just minor colds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821605 Wed, 09 May 2018 23:10:32 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2821605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyday my daycare removes toys that are covered in slobber and sanitizes them. Of course there is plenty of time for kids to touch each other and the toys and transfer germs, but I doubt CFA and the mall gym are sanitizing their apparatus. I don’t sanitize anything at home. Daycare also practices hand washing with the kids. I have LO wash his hands when we get home, but he’s already sucked his fingers on the ride home.</p> <p> Although I have a back up, my dad, to carry the stay at home load if necessary I don’t keep him home for every cough or runny nose. If he’s up for going to daycare then he goes. I imagine based on the number of snotty nosed kids other parents are doing the same. Whenever I take my kid to urgent care or the pediatrician for something wrong the intake nurse puts their “pen” down when I say he’s in daycare. Although, as a parent who works outside of the home and shakes a lot of hands I bet I have brought things home too. </p> <p>I think there is a difference between what flies in a daycare setting for tolerance of sick children and what is courteous between friends. All that to say, if you took your kid to the doctor and know what they have and their contagion level I would much prefer a heads up before spending 1:1 time with them. Like @Mrs. Toad: My kid has had symptoms that may look bad, but won’t harm any kids so I have sent them to school. For the good of him and the herd my LO is vaccinated on time and even got a flu shot this past year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821603 Wed, 09 May 2018 22:10:31 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2821603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My child had stuff coming out of her eyes, tons of green snot, and some mild coughing. She was acting normally, so we took her to daycare. They called her out thinking she might have pinkeye. Doctor said a bad sinus infection and an ear infection (no fever). She was cleared to go back the next day. I don't think either of those are contagious and we changed nothing about our schedule. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821589 Wed, 09 May 2018 19:39:23 +0000 Anagram 2821589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids go to daycare/school with colds, definitely. By the way, as a public school educator, I get a whopping 6 sick days and 3 personal in an entire school year. And actually, my contract specifies that sick days are only for the employee (me) and everything else from non sick appointment to children's illnesses are supposed to be personal days--but with only 3 in a 10 month period, I often have to call in sick and pretend I'm sick when a kid is sick.</p> <p>Needless to say, when my kids have a cold and no fever and they have that lingering 2 week cough, no, I'm not going to quit my job to be with my perfectly-energetic and functioning kids during the 2 weeks one of them has a cough.</p> <p>This issue is super annoying to me, because there is a (SAHM--well, she sells some MLM stuff) woman in my local moms group that is constantly posting these "please keep your kids at home if they have a cough" posts and it does make me kind of rage because I've had plleeeenty of times where our doctor has cleared my kids to go back to school, but they still have say, a runny nose or a cough, and I don't really need some random lady with no medical license judging and then posting these passive aggressive "advice" posts. </p> <p>When my oldest got RSV her first year in daycare, she had an ugly ugly cough for about 9 weeks. As a nervous first time mom, I kept taking her back in and the Ped kept telling me the cough lingers for a really long time, but that her lungs were clear and she was fine and we just had to wait it out. Yes, she was in daycare for most of that 9 weeks after the initial 4 days we took off to give her the breathing treatments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821586 Wed, 09 May 2018 19:30:24 +0000 MrsBucky 2821586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For whatever it’s worth, I think there is a big difference between sending kids to care sick but within the sick policy and not giving warnings to play dates/ taking kids to playspaces when borderline. Daycare is for working parents and as long as you follow the policy, i think you’re good. My experience as a daycare mom was similar to what’s been expressed above and I take no issue with it. Is it frustrating to deal with the perma-crud? Yup. But it’s part of what you sign up for when you send your kid to daycare. But the OP was about play dates and play spaces. To me it’s a lot more obnoxious to be in denial or not at least give a heads up (“hey lil Jimmy has a runny nose but the doctor says it’s allergies- let me know if you’d rather reschedule “) all my friends with Littles do this and it’s appreciated and we make decisions on a case by case basis for various reasons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821582 Wed, 09 May 2018 19:02:09 +0000 Purpledaisy 2821582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unless there is a fever or they are obviously sick (super runny nose, constant coughing, lethargic, etc.) we go on with life as usual. We can't stay home with every little sniffle. We would literally not leave the house for months. DD isn't in daycare but goes to public preschool and then a babysitter. I have a flexible part time schedule and still cannot keep her home every time she's a tiny bit sick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821578 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:51:22 +0000 Adira 2821578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladybee: Thanks! Definitely sounds like we're dealing with seasonal allergies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821577 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:50:04 +0000 Adira 2821577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: At my company, you still have to ute your PTO days while on FMLA. You can't just choose to go unpaid.</p> <p>And yes, it sounds like you are privileged if you don't have a ton of illnesses to deal with. Good for you. But try to recognize that not everyone is as fortunate as you are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821576 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:46:48 +0000 lilyofthewest 2821576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Most jurisdictions require you to use any available PTO concurrent with FMLA. FMLA can give you job protection if you run out of PTO...but doesn't usually help you save your PTO (I'm lucky to be in DC where you can't be forced to use paid leave to cover FMLA absences). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821575 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:44:52 +0000 ladybee 2821575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alba4:<br /> @Adira: my boys both have seasonal allergies. My oldest had them before 2. And his eczema and asthma flair with his allergies. They are 2 and 4. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821574 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:41:14 +0000 MrsMom 2821574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Awe I liked your comment! I totally thought the same thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821572 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:37:16 +0000 yogifish 2821572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Your priorities are your own, but perhaps if you don't want people to judge the perceived importance of your job you shouldn't be so quick to judge others on their sick (to your own observations) kids. Really unless you are a legitimately trained medical professional, you just don't know what is normal for someone else's child, only your own. </p> <p>So you do you and what works for your family. But it isn't very nice to come on here and question someone specifically about how much vacation or whatever you Americans call your leave time and dictate how they should or shouldn't allocate it. </p> <p>I personally have been coughing with a terrible cough and snotty nose since like October, but guess what the doctor says I'm not sick so here I am at work. Granted I'm not licking anyone's keyboard, but I'm sure the germophobes like you who hear me coughing constantly think I have the plague. But that's the real world. </p> <p>@MrsMom: I'm like you, I find it super annoying to hear other people whining about this and blaming other people that their mcprecious child got sick. If your kid is everywhere and you are as well as the parents, chances are good you don't even know who or when they were exposed to that passed on an illness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821570 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:29:39 +0000 erinbaderin 2821570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Never mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821567 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:18:00 +0000 MrsMom 2821567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yogifish: HAHA I grew up with a nurse mom too and staying home didn't fly unless you were dying LOL. </p> <p>My husband and I are full time workers and our little gos to daycare. He gets the usually sniffles and other seasonal illnesses that everyone gets and we only keep him home if he has a fever and I'm very quick to take him to the Dr when he does because usually it's an ear infection (we have major issues with those). I don't cancel plans for runny noses. I do have a family member that is a SAHM and she doesn't take her kids anywhere, (her and her husband switch off staying at home and going to the store just so they don't take the kids out) so in turn when my son plays with their kids, even if he's perfectly healthy at that time, they get sick. And I get very upset when they blame my son because he gos to daycare and its full of germs. I don't want my son ostracized because hes experiencing normal illnesses instead of being quarantined, or that it's my fault for being a working mom.</p> <p>ETA- I only get 19 days PTO a year and DH works at a hospital and has to schedule time off 2 months ahead of time otherwise he gets 8 call offs a year before he gets a write up.... Just in case my amount of days off is called into question. And I don't use them for fun, it's always for appointments or illness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821566 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:15:49 +0000 Ajsmommy 2821566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yogifish: well I am definitely not a brain surgeon or the president but I've earned days off that I use...not sure what you consider an "important" job...but I guess by your definition I must not have one.</p> <p>Eta : I never said to keep kids home for a simple sniffle....I said a constant cough and constant runny/thick snot </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821565 Wed, 09 May 2018 18:12:58 +0000 Ajsmommy 2821565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I'm sorry I've offended you. Def not my intention but clearly my position does. </p> <p>As far as days off I guess dh and I must be lucky bc we don't often get sick. I haven't taken a sick day for myself in years....and our daycare doesn't close for snow days so maybe those few differences make me "privileged and judgy".</p> <p>But I still feel that sometimes kids should be kept home when they are not and I think parents do sometimes make excuses and choices to do What they do.</p> <p>Eta: also for your hospital stays did you use fmla? That would help save your days to use elsewhere </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821560 Wed, 09 May 2018 17:41:35 +0000 stormborn 2821560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could see both sides. I send my kids to preschool as long as it’s within the sick policy. Why shouldn’t I? If it was a problem they’d have a different policy. But it’s annoying to see super sick kids in optional places. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821558 Wed, 09 May 2018 17:37:11 +0000 Adira 2821558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yogifish: Oh, I definitely agree! My oldest is 5 and hasn't been hospitalized in 18 months and hasn't been on steroids for over a year, so I know his immune system is getting stronger and healthier! And I know that MOST working parents are doing the best they can, same as us, and don't begrudge us sending our kids to daycare with the sniffles because they have to do the same. Thanks for the kind words. &lt;3 I know I was getting pretty defensive in my last post! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821557 Wed, 09 May 2018 17:31:20 +0000 yogifish 2821557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Your kids will likely end up being healthier for it in the long run. Everyone is doing the best they can in their circumstances, so agree why judge working moms who can't (and shouldn't) stay home for every sniffle. </p> <p>People who live in the real world 100% understand this, and again I say this as a very lucky mom who has a pretty healthy kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/oh-its-just-allergies/page/2#post-2821554 Wed, 09 May 2018 17:16:23 +0000 Adira 2821554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: I get 23 days of PTO and my husband gets 25 days So 48 days total if we don't try to spend any of them together.. My daycare is closed 6 days that my work is open. We also usually have 3-4 closures due to snow storms. So let's just say 10 days that we already have to use our PTO for. Now let's add in actual illnesses. Last year, my youngest was hospitalized twice, for 4 and 5 days each and then we had to keep him home for an additional week to ensure he had recovered. That's about 19 days spent STRAIGHT spent on serious illnesses. And actually my husband and I stayed with him in the hospital together the first few days (guess that was selfish of us), so it's more like 23 days used. Then add in noro, which goes through our house every winter - that's at least 1 day per person, so that's another 4 days. THEN add actual illnesses with fevers, that's probably like 4 per kid a year, so 8 total. Then add when us adults are actually too sick to go to work, so assume at least another 8 days.</p> <p>10 + 23 + 4 + 8 + 8 = 53. Well shit - that's more than the PTO we even had! I don't know how we managed that, except that probably my husband had some PTO roll over from the year before. Oh yeah, and I bought 5 days of PTO, because I literally have to every year because I spend all my time off for non-fun things.</p> <p>Now, we've been EXTREMELY fortunate this year that we haven't had an hospitalizations (YET), so we might not actually have to spend so much time with sick kids. But my kids have asthma and they've been hospitalized a bunch because of it. Every illness hits them harder than it does most kids and we actually DO have to keep them home more than the average kid BECAUSE we have to monitor their breathing and do whatever we can to keep them out of the hospital.</p> <p>I think it's fantastic for you that your kids obviously don't get sick that much or you have such a flexible job that you can miss so much work. But MOST people don't have that luxury. And maybe you should have a little more compassion for the people that send their sniffly kids to daycare instead of judging them. If I could stay home with my kid every time he had the sniffles, I would LOVE that. But I can't. Most people can't. But don't worry - I can assure you I won't be taking a single vacation this year since I don't have enough PTO to do it.</p> <p>Oh, AND MOST people probably also have to take time off work to take their kids to appointments or go to appointments themselves! I work 9+ hour days so that I can have every other Friday off and I use those days to schedule appointments so that I can save my PTO for when they are ill or school or closed or it snows. </p>