https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 14:32:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok/page/2#post-1577424 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 12:27:25 +0000 Honeygold89 1577424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you handle that just great because me on the other hand wouldn't have been that nice about it, my mom likes yo tell me that my attitude came from my dads side because he's Germany and very hot tempered when bothered and I can't stand people like that. I don't start stuff or bother people but when they bother me they definitely regret it. Give yourself a pat on the back mama you did well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok/page/2#post-1577347 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 11:49:10 +0000 gingerbebe 1577347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Uh, I have way too hot of a temper to deal with people like that. All I can say is you have a LOT more patience than I would have had for that dad and the situation as a whole. So no, I don't think you overreacted at all. </p> <p>I have zero tolerance for people threatening or harassing people I care about. I was bullied or teased or taunted a lot as a kid and while my parents were far from perfect, one thing they always, ALWAYS did was stand up for me, whether it was a teacher, child, or another parent. I will forever be thankful for that. It says a LOT to your son that you're not willing to let him or yourself get mistreated by bullies. He will never forget stuff like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok/page/2#post-1577333 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 11:42:18 +0000 meganmp 1577333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Firstly, that dad is insane. I'm really glad that you did what you did. I would be aware though, the school might not be able to do anything if nothing is happening at school. School district jurisdiction might only extend to the edge of school and the bus stops. The school might be glad to be aware of the situation, though, so I do think it's good that you said something. We've had issues come up where kids are bullying others outside of school, and the parents want us to issue consequences, but we can't. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok/page/2#post-1577308 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 11:30:05 +0000 mrbee 1577308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not bring this up with the principal. But would talk to DS regularly to see if it's an issue - if it is, it can be brought up then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok/page/2#post-1577299 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 11:26:43 +0000 Pepper 1577299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What an asshole! I would definitely let the school know. Unloading a paintball gun into a 12 year old at close range? What a moron. Can you tell this makes me mad for you?? Haha. I think you handled it wonderfully, FWIW.</p> <p>I'll never understand parents like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok/page/2#post-1577140 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 10:01:51 +0000 psw27 1577140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>uhh WTH. The father's reaction is so off the charts -- first he is against paintballing altogether, then to combat that rather than just declining he wants his son to shoot your son at close range? Those are polar opposites and really show the instability of this maniac... </p> <p>Needless to say, I think you handled it perfectly and I am just nervous for you that they are going to show up at the party anyway. I would let the principal of the school know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok/page/2#post-1577139 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 10:01:50 +0000 reverie 1577139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds wrong on so many levels. Wanting to cause a child pain to "teach him a lesson" is ridiculous. I think you absolutely did the right thing and I wouldn't allow my child any interaction with the other kid again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok/page/2#post-1577122 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:55:12 +0000 matador84 1577122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't read pp, but getting the school involved is the right thing to do. I handle this type of thing more often than I would like unfortunately in my job. Bullying is a serious offense and the school can issue consequences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok/page/2#post-1577105 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:50:12 +0000 MrsLilybugg 1577105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is so scary and awful. You did the right thing. (Wth though??? unload at close range? that's like almost criminal.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1577079 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:41:26 +0000 edelweiss 1577079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm sorry you had to deal with that. i think you did the right thing. i feel badly for your son's friend as he has to miss out because his dad is weird and violent, but not letting him come is a much better option than the drama mr. weirdo would cause at the party. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1577049 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:25:05 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1577049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is wildly inappropriate - I cannot believe a grown-ass man thinks it's OK to tell his son to bully another kid because of the activity chosen for a BIRTHDAY PARTY. You 10000% did the right thing by disinviting the boy/dad, and also alerting the principal/teacher because it seems this won't be the end of the harassment for your son at school. I am so sorry you and your son have to deal with this - it's sickening and maddening. I also think it might be a good idea for your husband to talk to the father - man to man may be more effective??</p> <p>In addition 12 years old is NOT too young for paintball - my little brothers played all the time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1577004 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:02:02 +0000 Ginabean3 1577004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow.....unbelievable. How sad that that boy has a dad who would model that kind of behavior and words for his son.</p> <p>I think you totally reacted in the right way. Like PP, I would definitely notify the school and also give a heads up to the paintball place. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576988 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:58:15 +0000 Greentea 1576988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Was the dad joking? (Not that I think that kind of joke is appropriate, but it kind of sounds like he must have been.) Otherwise I don't get it, he's like, "I'm gonna teach YOU a lesson about having a paintball party!" It doesn't make sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576955 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:46:27 +0000 HLK208 1576955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@StbHisMrs: you handled it just fine. If someone talked about injuring my child, there's no way I would let that fly. You're not making a big deal out it! That dad is crazy and terrible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576947 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:43:21 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1576947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm glad you told the school. I hope they take it seriously! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576945 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:42:53 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1576945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you did the right thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576938 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:39:52 +0000 Mrs. Blue 1576938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ummm.....wow. That's both an insane reaction to the party and a super duper insane lesson to teach his son. I mean if he doesn't approve of pain balling the solution is to (a) just decline for his son to attend or (2) ask if he could just come for any non-paint balling portion of the event. And the whole thing about showing him what it feels like, cornering him and unloading....that's the most insane thing for a father to help his son "plan." I would tell the paintball place manager those specific communications and that out of concern for the safety of all the kids in attendance that you told the father/son that they are no longer welcome and you would like the paintball staff to be aware of the situation in case he shows up. If I owned the place, I would want to know, for my own liability if nothing else, about the situation so I could have my staff on alert to monitor and make sure that the rules are being followed, the kid doesn't show up and cause problems, etc. </p> <p>Seriously, what a nut job! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576923 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:31:10 +0000 LuLu Mom 1576923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, yeah I would have your husband call the man and explain it to him again, and also alert the paintball place about how he is not welcomed and the principal that there is a situation. This father should not be harassing you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576919 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:28:45 +0000 littlebug 1576919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That father sounds dangerous, and the fact that his kid is participating in harassing your son is unacceptable. I would alert the school about BOTH of their behavior. And I would warn the paintball center, as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576911 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:25:11 +0000 rachiecakes 1576911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would absolutely alert the school principal and the paintball place, that man sounds dangerous! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576888 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:13:13 +0000 wonderstruck 1576888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@StbHisMrs: I think they're right and it wouldn't be over the top to alert the school principal or teacher about this - you have another parent threatening your child and encouraging his child to harass yours - that is serious! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576825 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 07:45:47 +0000 Adira 1576825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, both father and son are out of line!!! You definitely did the right thing!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576761 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 06:59:06 +0000 sorrycharlie 1576761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you handled it totally fine. I would definitely alert the place, and the principal. The father is completely out of line.</p> <p>So let me get this straight - the father didn't like that you chose paintball (presumably because kids *could* get hurt?) and decided to have his child participate by doing what he was worried/mad about?! </p> <p>Um..I am totally missing his logic. He sounds dangerous, tbh! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576758 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 06:51:56 +0000 lamariniere 1576758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know anything about paintball, but I think you were right to disinvite the kid. Who makes threats about a 12yo's birthday party?!?! If the dad wasn't happy about it, he should have just declined from the beginning and kept his mouth shut afterwards. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576735 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 05:17:54 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1576735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@StbHisMrs: 12 yrs old is not too young for paintball. The dad was totally inappropriate from the start and both he and the son took their displeasure over the top. You handled it fine. If the harassment continues at school I would notify the administration. They father son duo is ridiculous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576733 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 05:12:33 +0000 MrsTiz 1576733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: ditto!</p> <p>You handled it perfectly. That is so sad that his FATHER suggested he injure another child (yes even one paintball hurts at close rain, 250 would damn near put you in the hospital!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576730 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 04:59:23 +0000 Pumuckl 1576730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: ROFL, haha this is how I would have handled it too. And ditto @StbHisMrs you handled it perfectly. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576723 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 04:25:28 +0000 Cherrybee 1576723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have dealt with it completely differently - and wholly inappropriately. I'm furious for your son reading this. I would have cornered the dad and shown him what it's like to get shot - with an enormous can of whoop-ass and probably a swift kick in the nads. </p> <p>Oh and FWIW, you handled it much better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576710 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 01:31:22 +0000 Mrs tartan 1576710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you handled it very well. If it had been me I probably would have spoken directly to his son and told him absaloutely under no circumstance was he going to go through with that threat. Then still allowed him to come. Little boys that age are full of hot air and usually back down when someone else's mom gives them a telling off. But it depends on that kid. I think that would have avoided any bullying for your son at school.<br /> Then I would have spoken to the father direct and had it out with him about how inappropriate he was.<br /> He sounds like a horrible man to deal with!</p> <p>I hope your son has a lovely birthday, and you did nothing wrong, he will be safe and have a great time with his other friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/older-childs-party-was-my-reaction-ok#post-1576677 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 00:25:09 +0000 Boogs 1576677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That dad is a loon! There's no way I would let that kid come and I would hope my kid wouldn't be their friend anymore. If that dad keeps harassing you and his kid keeps harassing your kid, I would get the principal involved since it's happening on campus. </p>