https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 07:02:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657933 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 11:56:24 +0000 catomd00 2657933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you teach it by modeling it and it will sort itself out. I think it's a bit too much of an abstract topic to understand at 4. If anything, i would focus on not interrupting the reader at story time and giving him an alternative, like before or after story time you guys can walk through the library and he can read you the titles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657900 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 11:24:32 +0000 808love 2657900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think now is a good time to have conversations about humility while treading thoughtfully. Ask questions. I would say to think about others and how they might be trying to read in their head. Also, what if you asked the reader if you could read along with them, what do you think they would say? (Why wouldn't they want you to read with them? )So approach humility from a chance to respectfully treat others that might be different from you. I also pointout special gifts/skills about LO and in the same breath point out that others have special talents (singing, riding a bike etc) that we can appreciate. I focus on finding ways to compliment others so the focus is not on what is good about her. Using the gift of reading to help others is another way to channel that in a healthy way. LO went through that stage early too. At first she would hide it so I was happy she started admitting to others she could read. She definitely went through the stage where we needed to talk about humility though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657811 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 09:28:07 +0000 looch 2657811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I can't remember my own name sometimes.</p> <p>What I wanted to mention is that eventually, this kind of stuff will sort itself out, possibly by the teacher, or via peer pressure. As an example, shouting out isn't allowed in the classroom in my son's school, so they are docked a minute off recess. They learn very quickly, if you know what I mean. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657782 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 08:34:28 +0000 irene 2657782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Haha! :) Pre-k -- turning 5 in January. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657773 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 08:14:57 +0000 looch 2657773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't respond now, but remind me, is he in kindergarten this year? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657769 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 08:07:18 +0000 irene 2657769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone!!</p> <p>@yoursilverlining: Thank you so much for the reminder. You are right... I should be careful not to "grind him down". It is very delicate..... that's why I don't know how to handle this well.</p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: @lamariniere: That's what we do too!</p> <p>@erinbaderin: For grown ups they don't care (some turned around to look at him and surprised to see how small he is to be able to read all that). DS has been saying he doesn't have any friends at school, and how he has only "one best friend" in his class and no one wants to play with him. I am not sure how true this is but I can't help but connect the dots. Imagine if this annoying person in your class always read aloud a title/thing of whatever the teacher pulls out every day. Eventually everyone learns how to read and how to read really well. It would be so annoying if he continues down the road when everyone can read, and it's like who is this annoying person in my class, you know ? I may be overthinking it...</p> <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: You are right. I do try very hard to comment on the efforts of reading rather than praising, but I did do a bunch of "great jobs" when we were reading books, how he is reading one page and i am reading another, and how he read out even the most complicated words. I was in awe myself and couldn't help it but say great job. I will watch myself better from now on..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657767 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 07:52:54 +0000 lamariniere 2657767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: this is what we do too. I say, well, you are good at X, Y and Z, but your friend is good at A, B and C. And we also highlight that everyone is good at something, and no one is good at everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657766 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 07:51:14 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2657766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would take a step back and look at the type of praise you and his teachers give regarding his reading ability. Are you praising the effort when he encounters a new word that he may struggle with? Or giving him a bunch of "great jobs" when he zips through a book?</p> <p>Story time is probably not the right time for him to interrupt the adult reader. Maybe approach it from that standpoint. Since he is able to read there may be other avenues for him to flex his skills among his peers. Peer reading at his school? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657754 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 07:11:17 +0000 erinbaderin 2657754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I'd discourage him from reading book titles aloud - who cares? He can read, he's proud of himself, and it isn't taking anything away from anybody. If I were him I would feel very confused about how reading aloud might make somebody else feel sad. With the music thing I'd talk more about not hurting his friend's feelings and that people can have different opinions, and that there isn't a way to measure who likes something more so maybe you both like it the same amount. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657733 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 00:16:49 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2657733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's somewhat normal as they start to realize not everyone is the same. We talked a lot about everyone having their own talents and you can't be the best at everything </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657726 Sun, 27 Nov 2016 23:28:24 +0000 yoursilverlining 2657726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The music thing sounds completely normal for this age and not what I'd see as "showing off". I hear kids say stuff like that to each other all the time. Maybe your son read aloud because he's proud he can read and likes to "show off" to you, because you're the world to him. He *should* be proud to be able to read at 4.5. </p> <p>Be careful of your expectations - it's a fine line to walk between teaching humbleness and just grinding someone down. If he's constantly told not to "show off" by/to the person who is suppose to be his biggest cheerleader when he doesn't yet understand the difference between practicing his growing skill set and just "showing off", I think you risk a lot. He's 4; of course he doesn't know what being humble means; he's clearly smart - he'll get it at an age appropriate time! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-being-humble-modest#post-2657700 Sun, 27 Nov 2016 21:11:03 +0000 irene 2657700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do you teach your children on being humble and modest?</p> <p>DS (4.5 years old) is an early reader. He was reading since he was 3 or so. I think he has gotten way too much compliment from us and the teachers, now I am noticing something interesting. We were at a storytelling session today and the story lady was about to read storybooks to the kids. Each time she takes out a book, DS would read ALOUD each and every one of the book titles. Later today, we were at a Christmas symphony concert with a friend. They were about to play Nutcracker. DS and his buddy (same age) started arguing about who likes the nutcracker music more. DS said, "how would you like it more than me? You haven't even listened to the Nutcracker music before." </p> <p>That "show off" / bragging behavior really bugs me. We talked about it tonight. I asked him why does he read out all the book titles aloud every time he sees one. He said it's because not every kid can read. Sigh. We then had a long talk about how it is important to be humble and modest. How bragging and showing off is going to make others feel sad, and eventually they would not want to be around him. People usually like to hang out with other people who makes them feel good and happy, not make them feel bad.</p> <p>DS asked, what is modest? What is humble? I don't think he even know what I am talking about. I said we'll have to buy some books and read about it.</p> <p>Has this happened to you and what did you do about it? Any good book you'd recommend? </p>