https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 09:28:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1452994 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 05:42:42 +0000 mjane 1452994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: I think baby dolls *are* (or should be) gender-neutral, though! they can be great toys--developmentally rich--for all kids. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1452421 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 20:19:44 +0000 ElbieKay 1452421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe this is my own bias, but as a non-girly girl I don't feel the need to buy girly toys unless my kid wants one, regardless of gender.</p> <p>I also find action figures and toy guns to be pretty yawn-worthy and have a preference for interactive toys like building blocks and puzzles. So I guess I just prefer gender neutral toys and don't really like toys that are specific to either gender. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1451766 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 16:25:15 +0000 mjane 1451766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lovehoneybee: I am totally with you... and I think the only other thing I would have said to your husband is that our job is not to make our kids' lives as easy as possible; we also have to make sure they don't turn into asshats who think that only mommies take care of babies (or, worse yet for the immediate future, that there's something weird about boys who play with dolls). it's a wicked world sometimes, and you are fighting the good fight! I hope you find an awesome doll and that he loves on it and also throws it down the stairs, as both little boys AND little girls are wont to do. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448695 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 14:13:23 +0000 Maysprout 1448695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't see how baby dolls are girl toys. A lot of little boys grow up to be fathers just like little girls might grow up to be mamas. I don't have boys but if we do I'd encourage them to know how to interact with babies just like I teach my daughter, seems like a good life skill. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448530 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 13:27:22 +0000 edelweiss 1448530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>glad that you guys were able to talk about it and get on the same page! when i mentioned to my husband getting a play kitchen and a doll for our LO (a boy), he acted a little surprised but then went along with it. i think that there is a reflexive gender bias that kicks in for many of us, and also parents may feel overprotective in order to avoid teasing. so i understand where your husband is coming from, although i totally agree with you and your well-articulated points! i try to get gender neutral toys, although admittedly i'm not exactly challenging gender roles by going out and buying fairy pink rainbow pony stuff for LO either. and at some point i know that society's deeply ingrained gender bias will reach him, as it does most of us.</p> <p>i was looking for anatomically correct dolls as well. i was interested in these rubens barn collections:<br /> <a href="http://www.magiccabin.com/rubens-barn-dolls/rubens-barn-dolls.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.magiccabin.com/rubens-barn-dolls/rubens-barn-dolls.htm</a></p> <p>however only the baby doll is anatomically correct--the toddler doll is not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448462 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 13:13:43 +0000 Freckles 1448462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think we should have to go out of our way to challenge stereotypes, but still provide our kids with the options to play with toys that are not necessarily geared towards their gender. Like i'm not going to paint my son's toenails or dress him up in pink (unprompted by him) to make a point.</p> <p>If we have a boy, i definitely wouldn't discourage any interest he may have in girl things. Trying to get them to go towards what's "normal" is always easier, but i fear that it will have a negative impact on them or make them feel insecure (e.g., trying to hide it knowing that dad doesn't like it when i play with tutus or barbies).</p> <p>@septca: LOL, even poor Ken didn't have his genitalia in tact. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448449 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 13:10:22 +0000 Greentea 1448449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my job is to help my lo feel secure so that whatever their preferences are they will be okay with them. Very interesting post. I think I will introduce both genders to a variety of things and as I said help them feel secure so that they can feel comfortable with what they think is cool. DH cooks and knits and I fish...<br /> @lovehoneybee: under the nile has tasha and jill that are pretty cool if you are still looking for a doll. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448440 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 13:07:47 +0000 Adira 1448440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Or what about something like this:</p> <p><a href="http://www.pattycakedoll.com/boys_potty_training_doll" rel="nofollow">http://www.pattycakedoll.com/boys_potty_training_doll</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448416 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 13:03:28 +0000 Adira 1448416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lovehoneybee: Just out of curiosity, is this something you'd be interested in?</p> <p><a href="http://www.toysrus.com/buy/baby-dolls/you-me-mommy-change-my-diaper-doll-boys-81672-3252893" rel="nofollow">http://www.toysrus.com/buy/baby-dolls/you-me-mommy-change-my-diaper-doll-boys-81672-3252893</a></p> <p>Although I think you said you wanted something more toddler-like, but at least this one is anatomically correct (supposedly)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448402 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:58:57 +0000 Mae 1448402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Super cliche but this pic always makes me laugh… </p> [attach=4140/14/n1kcma.600x483.Screen-Shot-2014-02-25-at-12.58.06-PM.png] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448393 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:57:37 +0000 lemondrop 1448393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it is very frustrating! </p> <p>I went through the baby doll search, finally found something that worked for an arm and a leg- but was worth it to me. My husband got a look on his face initially when I bought it, but wisely didn't say anything because we would have had the same long, drawn out, circular discussion too. He's fine with it, it probably didn't help I didn't even mention it, and C comes out of his room carrying a VERY realistic baby by the head while I was at work one day :silly: </p> <p>Kitchen stuff- so. much. pink. Much harder to find more neutral items. Same for the grocery cart, anything that wasn't pink cost more. </p> <p>Still looking for a broom and dustpan set- think I'll get the B-Toys one, EVERYTHING else is pink. I doubt I would buy that much pink for a girl. Pink won't harm anyone of course, but personally I'm not a fan of the color as a redhead :silly: </p> <p>It is such a crappy double standard, we want girls to be empowered and bend those gender roles, yet we limit our boys quite extensively too. We want sensitive caring men who are good fathers, yet they get the cars, trucks, sports shoved in their faces as the gender appropriate things to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448375 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:53:34 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 1448375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My little brother had a baby doll as a tot &amp; it was never an issue! It wouldn't be a problem if my daughter wanted to play with cars, it should be a problem if my (hypothetical) son wants to be a dad, or a chef &amp; an underwear model for heavens sake! Kids are kids. I wouldn't be concerned. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448372 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:52:08 +0000 lilteacherbee 1448372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm definitely letting my son play with whatever toys he'd like. I'm planning to get him a doll when I'm pregnant with #2. And We will be encouraging him to play with cooking/cleaning stuff as well (DH loved playing with his toy kitchen as a kid and now he's an amazing cook!)</p> <p>I'm an early childhood teacher, so I deal with this type of stuff every day. When I taught 3 year olds, I had a little boy who was OBSESSED with this yellow princess dress. Now, he would run around and drive cars up the wall too, but he would put the dress on every single day. His parents were so uncomfortable with this. They tried to get us to tell him to take it off, but we couldn't do that. The kids are allowed to play with whatever they choose as long as they are being safe and following the rules. So, his mom wanted us to call her every time he put the dress on, so that she could tell him over the phone to take it off. It got ridiculous. One time, she came to pick him up and he and another boy had on princess dresses and the other little boy looked so ashamed after he heard the mom flip out on her son.</p> <p>Gahhh I could go on for hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448347 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:46:54 +0000 Mamaof2 1448347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know if I would say I was challenging the limitations but I let my DS pick out his own things. He loved pink for years! He liked to wear his sister's tutus - he played with dolls. He loves to bake! My DH freaked everytime he wanted something "girly" but he got over it!</p> <p>He is 5 now and I think peer pressure has gotten the best of him! He told me yesterday that G likes Hello Kitty. I said "so what's wrong with that?" He said "mom, he is a boy and he doesn't even have a sister - everyone makes fun of him"<br /> I told him "there is nothing wrong with liking a cat - you use to love the color pink and no one teased you" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448346 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:46:41 +0000 mamimami 1448346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am right there with you. When I was expecting my second, it was not easy to find a baby doll for my son that was not all ribbons and bows. And one time my son chose the princess gummy vitamins instead of the spiderman or cars ones, and I was SHOCKED to see that my very forward-thinking and enlightened husband had peeled the label off the bottle! What was that about?!?! </p> <p>Anyway, I share your frustrations. I think with men it's tough, even when they are feminists, to bring that home as dads sometimes. </p> <p>My boy still likes his doll quite a bit, but he has also learned (at school, apparently, ugh) that girls like princesses and pink and blah blah blah. Yuck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448336 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:43:35 +0000 lovehoneybee 1448336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septca: They do sell them! Just not in the US, it seems. Well there's one, a potty training doll, but apparently when you put the water in it leaks out everywhere else except where it's supposed to ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448328 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:41:47 +0000 Mamasig 1448328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I have to say that I haven't given it that much thought! But I would let my son play with whatever toy he wanted to - boy or girl. But my son really only gravitates towards boy types of toys and that's not because we push him. He has a couple of stuffed animals and he just throws them. If it doesn't have a wheel or make banging noises, he doesn't want it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448325 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:41:17 +0000 septca 1448325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a girl, so it is a little different - I feel like keeping the pink/princess/make up/shopping toys to a minimum is a full-time job.</p> <p>BUT...<br /> I had tons of that girly junk when I was a kid and I am a lawyer feminist, so I try not to get overly worried about it.<br /> DH had a Cabbage Patch Kid he *loved* and still talks about tenderly - and he is a total dude.</p> <p>So, my bottom line is that I am not going to stress too much about this stuff because I believe that our proactive, feminist parenting will matter a lot more than the color of the mountain of plastic currently invading our living room.</p> <p>Oh, and an anatomically correct boy doll??? That's a pipe dream (unfortunately...), sweetie. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448314 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:39:22 +0000 autumnlove 1448314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I buy a mix of toys for my girls. Some are really pink or blue and some are neutral.</p> <p>I just bought my niece a pink shopping cart and a neutral alphabet puzzle for her bday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/on-gendered-toys-and-stereotypes#post-1448290 Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:35:31 +0000 lovehoneybee 1448290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Warning: word vomit. Probably circular. I'm trying to sort out my thoughts and feelings on this and I can't quite articulate it the way I want to. </p> <p>Last night I had a rather intense discussion with D. It started when I was venting my frustrations about how difficult it was to find a baby BOY doll with certain features that I wanted (I had wanted a wet doll that was a little more toddler-like, that could be undressed, and was anatomically correct--I wanted something that we could put on the potty to pee--and I didn't want it to be outrageously expensive. Apparently it doesn't yet exist. My mom bought him a boy bath doll.) </p> <p>My bigger frustration is that there are SO MANY dolls that are marketed to girls. Even the little boy dolls are still marketed to girls. When I tried to sort Amazon results by gender there was something like 2500 "girl" dolls to 300 "boy" dolls, and the "boy" dolls were still marketed towards girls--the description of the boy dolls still talked about how they were for little girls to be mommies. </p> <p>D's response was to shrug, and express ambivalence about E getting a doll at all. Now D is a total dude's dude, but he's also one of the biggest feminists I know. He told me that he was concerned E would be made fun of mercilessly in school if the other boys knew he played with a doll, even as a toddler, and felt that it was our job as his parents to make his life as easy as possible, and the way to do that would be to encourage more boy-like things. </p> <p>I was honestly shocked. I'll admit that I have no plans to fill E's room with toys traditionally marketed towards girls, because for one thing, boy does LOVE anything with wheels, but I certainly don't want to limit his options and continue perpetrating the marketing stereotype that only girls can play with dolls and boys with trucks. Except that it's not just a marketing stereotype, it's a life stereotype, one that I'm not comfortable with.</p> <p>D's a great, caring dad, and he admittedly got there without having a doll to love on, but I can't see the problem with encouraging a little boy to care for dolls as he might someday care for his children the same we we encourage girls to do so. But at the same time I don't want to make E's life any harder (by possibly getting teased about it when he's older.) </p> <p>I pointed out to him that there's a double standard there, because if we had a daughter I know he'd be encouraging her to play with trucks and balls and Lego's and whatnot. He'd be wanting her to bust through gender stereotypes, but is unwilling to foster the same ideas with a son. But it's unfair to E, and we're doing nothing but helping to perpetuate it. </p> <p>So after talking ourselves in circles about it D came to the conclusion that I was right, and that:<br /> A) It was silly to be uncomfortable with the idea of E getting even one doll, whether or not he even likes playing with it<br /> B) It was unfair to E to not allow him even the *chance* to challenge traditional gender roles (even by simply adding a doll into his toy box) but that<br /> C) It still doesn't change the fact that those stereotypes are still firmly in place, especially when it comes to boys, so<br /> D) It's our responsibility as his parents to raise a well-rounded son who is confident in his life choices (and can cook well ;) ) </p> <p>TL; DR: Gender stereotypes suck, but they are there...is it better to set your child up for an easier life or challenge the limitations that are currently in place? </p> <p>What are your thoughts about gender toys and stereotypes? </p>