https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 12 May 2026 15:40:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930545 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 10:05:22 +0000 anandam 1930545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: You're right, I suppose it was inaccurate to say it's "totally" unrelated to our finances. We have made certain decisions to keep our cost of living lower, but I also know women whose partners are disabled or absent or just unable to financially support the family, so it's not a choice for them. Or who feel like providing more financial stability and options for their family is more important than being the person who changes their diapers and holds their bottle (the foundation of this thread, I think). It's all valid, I agree. There's no right way to parent! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930528 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 09:56:46 +0000 jedeve 1930528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @Cherrybee: hmm if I had to choose I think subsidized child care would be better public policy - strengthens the workforce, can help ensure quality standards and that kids receive the proper developmental encouragement for their ages. </p> <p>But I think paid maternity leave is more likely. It doesn't play into that "poor people shouldn't have babies" and "all mothers should be at home with their children" mentalities a lot of people have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930271 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 07:45:08 +0000 looch 1930271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: They won't, because it would mean an increase in taxes, and Americans across the board favor lower taxes, even if it means less services. Which means, even subsidized childcare is a long way away too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930266 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 07:39:38 +0000 Cherrybee 1930266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: That's what I think should happen! Your government should mandate it. I hate that women are made to choose when their babies are so young. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930257 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 07:30:34 +0000 looch 1930257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Not in the US, unfortunately, the mentality is that if you're out of the workforce for any extended period of time, you are out of sight, out of mind. No employer is going to keep your position waiting for you for a year, while also having to pay a temp to do the job. 6 months, more likely, but one year? Not happening, unless the government mandates it and pays for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930253 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 07:28:26 +0000 Cherrybee 1930253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Really, would you? I would choose extended maternity over subsidised childcare. Over here you can take up to a year off for each baby and it's just accepted that women will. I took 7 months off (all paid to some degree and my employer continued to make my pension contributions) and, honestly, it was like a blink of an eye in the workplace (people were shocked to see me back and couldn't believe 7 months had gone by). A year long maternity leave allows women to breastfeed and be there during those first few months without making the "SAH or WOH" decision at all. Extended maternity leave means you can have it all! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930241 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 07:10:41 +0000 looch 1930241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I do think the article makes a good point, and this is why I strongly support subsizided child care over an extended maternity leave, if I had to choose one or the other. In an ideal situation, we'd have both, but I don't think that's going to happen in my lifetime.</p> <p>The professional women are the ones with choices, the ones that work the jobs waitressing, in factories, etc are the ones that have a very rough road. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930235 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 07:05:19 +0000 Madison43 1930235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anandam: I WOH and don't think that's a controversial or insensitive thing to say so long as we're comparing apples to apples (i.e. parents that don't need both incomes to survive). I choose to WOH but we could live on one income and have one parent stay home full time. So yeah, I would agree our values differ - doesn't make one of us right and the other wrong, just different and that's ok! That said, you can't know everyone's financial situation, so I agree it's better to just be vague for the most part, even if it's not entirely honest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930228 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 06:43:12 +0000 Orchid 1930228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anandam: that's brave of you to say! In many ways I understand and agree. I can't use the "child care is no expensive" excuse because We can certainly afford it. I have to create other excuses for staying home. After studying for so long (thankfully assistantships and scholarships mean no debt) I feel immense pressure to focus on my career, particularly from my dad and a few friends. I find it awkward to say, "I want to be at home with LO because of X, Y, Z" so I say, "We're here because of DH career and there are no job openings for me here, but I'm definitely on the lookout." And then I get that icky feeling from being dishonest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930215 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 04:51:29 +0000 Cherrybee 1930215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The whole "I can't afford to stay home" argument is blurred even further here in the UK because if you do have a genuinely low household income the government tops it up for you with "tax credits" and "welfare benefits". You don't have to work for x amount of time to earn it, it's completely means tested - if you need it, you get it. We could, technically, have managed the basics (with a number of sacrifices) on DH's income and the £96.01 per week we would receive in benefits (I just calculated it)......... but it's all the other stuff. Pension contributions, saving for E to go to University, paying for family holidays, keeping our home in a state of good repair so it doesn't lose too much value..... not to mention the long term effect on my career (and thus pay) that having a significant break out of the workforce might have. </p> <p>I know what it's like having to support a parent who hasn't adequately prepared for retirement. It's tough. I know what it's like to have to work so many hours to pay yourself through University you barely have time to study. I don't want that for E. </p> <p>Every family is different, with different financial situations. Some people can afford to stay home AND make adequate provisions. And on top of that, I guess, it all depends on what is important to you personally. Those early years ARE precious and you will never get them back. But for us the long term cost of me leaving work would have been too huge. Oh, and I quite like working, too - hahaha! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1930204 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 02:15:42 +0000 anandam 1930204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not sure if this holds true for others, but all the daycare cost etc arguments are things I just say to try and justify quitting my job to all the women who went back at 6-12 weeks, mostly so they don't feel bad or judged...and so I don't really have to get into the discussion of how our values differ, because it's a really sensitive topic. I say those things to avoid mommy wars.</p> <p>The real reason I'm still home and probably won't go back to full time work until we're done having kids is totally unrelated to our finances. Obviously we'd have more money if I kept my job, both in the short and long term. I made more reliable and usually higher income than DH, and my job was the only one that gave us benefits, from insurance to retirement to paid vacation, since he's self employed. To us the benefit of having me full time with our son in the early years, breastfeeding on demand, nurturing him in the way no paid caregiver could, outweighs all that. And if it were all about maximizing profits we wouldn't have kids in the first place!</p> <p>So yeah, maybe that's a controversial thing to say and I don't say it to offend anyone. That's why I usually make up some story about daycare costs and whatnot when it comes up in real life. I suspect others do the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1929726 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 17:58:44 +0000 jedeve 1929726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: true. I'm in the non-profit world, and the difference between starting level and being an ED isn't huge relative to other industries. So even if I max out on my earning potential later than I would have, I'll max out fairly early. (or at least reach a point where pay jumps aren't as huge).</p> <p>Some other interesting facts about what I was saying:</p> <p>Over 1.2 million mothers with very young<br /> children work in low-wage jobs.<br /> • Nearly one in five working mothers with very<br /> young children work in low-wage jobs.<br /> • Over one-third of mothers who have very<br /> young children and work in low-wage jobs are<br /> poor.<br /> • About half of mothers who have very young<br /> children and work in low-wage jobs are<br /> employed full time.</p> <p><a href="http://www.nwlc.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/mothers_of_young_children_in_low_wage_jobs.pdf" rel="nofollow">http://www.nwlc.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/mothers_of_young_children_in_low_wage_jobs.pdf</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1929659 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 17:09:00 +0000 sarac 1929659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean, I know that by spending years out of the workforce, I'm certainly impacting my future earning potential. I didn't leave a career to be a mother, but I would have started one by now had I not had my daughter. For me, it's worth it. I think more of the opportunity cost involved in working through my daughter's first few years - to me (me!), that would have been a huge opportunity lost. </p> <p>I'm lucky in that my husband is able to support our family, and that I have this choice. With that in mind, the choice to opt out of a career at this point in my life was easy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1929655 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 17:07:10 +0000 blackbird 1929655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I always find data like this surprising because more and more research shows that women are 1) more educated and 2) making more money than their husbands....yet more women are staying home b/c they don't make enough? </p> <p>i feel like there's something that isn't being addressed sometimes, but I can't put my finger on it. </p> <p>@looch: Shoot, even the difference between 2 and 7 years has been staggering for me in terms of salary and experience (field-dependent, of course) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1929649 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 16:59:47 +0000 looch 1929649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: not only a certain type of job, but a certain level of experience as well. Having 2 years of<br /> experience is different than 10 years is different than 20. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1929647 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 16:58:51 +0000 yellowbird 1929647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Espion: it is a pretty sweet deal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1929644 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 16:57:32 +0000 jedeve 1929644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this assumes a certain type of job though. My job did not provide health care or a pension or a 401k, although it did contribute a small amount to an IRA. </p> <p>I am missing out on some opportunity cost because I will be out of the workforce for a bit. But there is also an "emotional cost" that I would miss out on by being with my kids if I was working. If I earned more, I probably would be fine eating that cost. But right now, the small contribution to my IRA isn't worth it.</p> <p>Here is an interesting article on the cost of child care: <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/04/08/rising-cost-of-child-care-may-help-explain-increase-in-stay-at-home-moms/" rel="nofollow">http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/04/08/rising-cost-of-child-care-may-help-explain-increase-in-stay-at-home-moms/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1929626 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 16:47:39 +0000 StbHisMrs 1929626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm being faced with this decision involuntarily, my boss is retiring and it's being taken over by someone new. So as of January 1, I'm going to be a SAHM. Luckily my income can be made up by doing a few things from home though. Also working out in my favor, my current job never offered any benefits (except that I was able to bring my kids with me) no 401k, no health, nothing. My income covers our babysitter, the gas to and from with just a little left over. So staying home will make sense for us, my Husband makes more than enough to cover our expenses. </p> <p>It doesn't cost us any extra for me to be added to his health, he makes all his contributions to his 401k. For now it makes sense for us. I will probably go stir crazy though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah/page/2#post-1929592 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 16:26:08 +0000 StrawberryBee 1929592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely think these are things to take into account. For a lot of (but not all) professions, it's difficult to get back in once you've been gone -- I think the gap in your resume doesn't look all that great to employers. </p> <p>DH is a SAHD. He's self employed (or was....long story), so had no benefits, no 401k, no expected promotions. It was an easy decision for us to make to have him stay home while I stayed at work (and honestly, he's welcome to it! I love my daughter but I need the interaction of the office to keep me sane). </p> <p>We also enrolled our daughter into part time daycare two days a week after she turned one. I feel like the social interaction, getting her exposed to germs (sorry for your third cold in a row, kiddo!), the experience, are all things that expand her in ways we could never accomplish. I hope that she has a good balance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1929508 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 15:43:53 +0000 Raindrop 1929508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to bump this because it was an interesting read. :)</p> <p>I agree with your husband... but there is always more to the equation than just money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1929234 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 13:53:12 +0000 fairy 1929234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 401k wasn't worth it, I was never contributing much to it as most of our pay goes to debt (we have some high-interest student loans, so it works out that we should pay off those before worrying about adding to retirement) and we have IRAs anyway that we still contribute to. My only real benefit to continuing working would be that my work's health insurance would have been cheaper than my husband's, but most of my pay would be going to daycare, and most of the daycares around here are lackluster or super expensive. I wasn't in a job that I was considering a career and had only been in the workforce after college for 3 years, so going back into the workforce (I hope to just continue working from home anyway) wouldn't be much of a change income-wise from before. </p> <p>With me staying home, I was able to start an at-home business to make monthly almost as much to as much as I did out-of-the-home, I get to care for my daughter (which is what I wanted), I don't have to scramble to get housework done after work, and we still go to enrichment activities multiple times a week so she gets plenty of socialization and individual attention. For us, the decision wasn't really financially-based (I just wanted to stay home and spend these years raising my daughter) but that was definitely a contributing factor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1929118 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 13:13:11 +0000 Greentea 1929118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not every employer even offers insurance, pensions, matching 401ks etc. So, pretty likely that if a paycheck isn't covering daycare- most of those opportunities might not exist. I do think sah is a huge sacrifice however, not just in terms of the obvious like retirement contributions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1929032 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 12:41:02 +0000 plantains 1929032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @babynumber1: I especially notice it because I had a nanny initially for LO, but the daycare centre she goes to is phenomenal. They have so many activities and she comes home with tons of info. Her latest obsession is rescue helicopters because the police from the local precinct came in to daycare to give the all junior officer badges. There is no way I can hope to expose her to the breadth of things she sees and learns everyday.</p> <p>I think the big issue with this of course is that it makes the decision about which daycare to use tougher because sometimes you have to pay a bit more to get the most out of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1929023 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 12:35:41 +0000 babynumber1 1929023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: I fully agree with you.<br /> @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I make enough that my salary more than covers daycare, but if faced with only a little take home pay, we would still decide daycare. LO loves daycare and learns so much. She surprises us every day, as we tend to underestimate her learning abilities. She has best friends and comes home with all kinds of stories about them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1928988 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 12:21:04 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1928988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: that's another perspective I hadn't even thought about it, the positives a LO gets out of not staying at home with a parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1928769 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 10:50:26 +0000 ShootingStar 1928769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the most part I agree with your husband. There are huge costs to not working that not everyone takes into account when deciding if one parent should SAH. But the more kids you want to have, and the lower your salary is, the less opportunity cost there is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1928759 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 10:48:11 +0000 Espion 1928759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbird: Same situation, DH and all. But dang am I jealous of the loan repayment!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1928744 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 10:43:21 +0000 Mrs.KMM 1928744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: "I've had well paying, corporate jobs in the past but that life is not for me, as it isn't for many people. I'm fulfilled staying home with our daughter. With my support, my husband makes more money."</p> <p>This! I hated the well-paying corporate world and left it to make piddly-squat in academic research. But even that doesn't fulfill me like I know staying home with my children will. No amount of money is worth spending most of your waking hours unfulfilled (as long as you make enough to support yourself which DH far surpasses with just his job - which he loves). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1928708 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 10:30:30 +0000 Orchid 1928708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My opportunity cost is quite significant. I worked in academia and given this hiatus I've taken (haven't published in two years), I doubt I could find a job at a research university later on. I could probably work at a teaching focused school, but that's not why I slaved over 6 years of graduate school! A good salary and an academically stimulating environment is pretty difficult to give up.</p> <p>Staying at home has been a tough decision for me, but in the end my WOH opportunity costs (non-financial) are too high for me. It does help that my husband earns enough. So far, I'm pretty happy with my decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/opportunity-costs-for-sah#post-1928673 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 10:16:58 +0000 BandDmommy 1928673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: thanks! I wasn't sure of the percentage. </p>